


Sand Trails

by Azhwi, LosttotheHoping



Series: The Sand Trails' Universe [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Alternate Universe - High School, Comedy, Crack, F/M, Family Drama, Growing Up, HidHin, High School, Humour, ItaSak, Konoha - Freeform, M/M, Plot What Plot, Romance, School, Slice of Life, Students, Teachers, crack pairs, plot really does fade into the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:17:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 31
Words: 133,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azhwi/pseuds/Azhwi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LosttotheHoping/pseuds/LosttotheHoping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pranks are just for fun, but what happens when one of Naruto's sparks off a romance that he can't stop? Sakura x Itachi primarily, but so many other couples. Collaboration with Lost to the Hoping. </p><p>Rated for swearing, innuendo, and gleeful violence (Hidan's in this story, 'nuff said).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Establishing Territory

**Author's Note:**

> This is a role-playing story. POVs are not restricted to one or two people; more like two dozen. So please forgive the POV jumps at the beginning (it does smooth out after a while!)  
> There is mention of underage sex here, as this bunch is well below 21 but above 16. All consensual with no more than a two year gap at most.
> 
> Also - there IS plot, however, it's mostly just in the background. This story really is a whimsical piece that doesn't take itself seriously.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Left side... Clear. Right side... Clear_. Sasuke smirked and turned to look behind him at his three friends. “It's clear. Let's go.” Today, it actually paid off to have a prankster as a best friend. _Dobe, you better live up to your boasting_!

Naruto giggled oddly. “You guys know what you're gonna do?” he hissed at the other two eagerly, practically bouncing where he stood.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Ino retorted, eyes rolling. She held up her fistful of bubble wrap.

The last of the accomplices grunted. “Can we move now? This is heavier than it looks,” Shika groused, leaning against the wall with both arms wrapped around a large white bag.

“Yeah, yeah, let's get to work. We got ten minutes,” Naruto said, and pushed Ino out into the hall.

“Watch it, buddy!” she snapped, but strolled casually over to the locker in question.

Already there, Sasuke was fitting a key into the lock.

By the time Shika had shuffled up to stand beside the other dark-haired teen, the door was open and Ino was pulling books down out of its cavity. He carefully let the bag down with a thump and shook out his hands. “Next time,” he muttered, “we're using spray foam.”

Sasuke blinked as he considered the idea. “I know where to get some too...”

“Eight minutes,” Naruto chided, and finished doodling on the door. “Ino, you done?”

“Yes, ass, I'm done,” she retorted, and set the books back inside. “Shika, your turn.”

“It did not take me two minutes to cross a hall,” the boy grumbled. “Hey, Sasuke, prop up a book will you?”

Snickering, Sasuke patted Shika on the shoulder. “You need to work out more.”

“Shut up.”

A few textbooks created a makeshift barrier, and the two boys carefully tilted the bag's contents in. Sand slid like pale silk into the locker.

When the wrapped books were completely covered, and the barrier could hold no more, they lifted the bag away. Shikamaru tossed the nearly empty bag into a nearby trash can as Sasuke brought a jug of water out from his backpack.

“Do the honours, Dobe?” He offered the container to the blond.

“Ahahaha... you go ahead,” Naruto said sweetly, beaming at his friend. He didn't appear to notice the suspicious glower he got for it. “Shikamaru, where'd that flower go?”

“Here. Take it”

_Argh_. Sasuke lifted the jug and tried his best to control the stream of water. Two other hands reached out to help steady the jug. Reluctantly, the Uchiha grunted his thanks.

Shikamaru smirked. “Maybe you need to work out more,” he quipped, noting how both pairs of arms were trembling just a bit.

“I will not be beaten by a bag of pulverized rock and tap water,” Sasuke grumbled.

His assisting friend only chuckled.

Naruto laughed softly at the two of them, and when they were done, he helped clean up before closing the door. ' _This is the property of Miz Uchiha. Don't touch; he bites,_ ' was scrawled on the metal in magic marker, accompanied by a cartoon-like doodle of Itachi's face.

Ino choked as she tried to laugh and not at the same time. “He's gonna murder you!”

“I'd like to see him try,” the blond said smugly.

“Later,” Sasuke said, returning from the recycle bin where the used jug now resided. “We gotta go.”

“Three minutes,” Shika hissed as they started to run. “Move!”

Naruto took off for the rooftop where Sakura waited for him (earlier, he'd boasted about how he could make it to the flower shop half an hour away and back before school started), while Ino scrambled off to be in her usual spot on the quad before the bell.

The last two, Sasuke and Shika, pelted down a few halls before exiting into the early morning light.

Choji waved at them cheerfully from a picnic table covered with textbooks, binders, and juice boxes.

Sighing, Shika slumped down onto the bench as Sasuke sat with far more decorum.

“So?”

“Troublesome.”

“Perfect.”

“Did you just purr?” Shika looked askance at Sasuke before grunting. “The things I do for Uchiha-san's rice balls.”

xXx

“—and the bitch just says something like 'I don't date pyromaniacs'! Can you fucking believe her, un! She's dated Sasori before, and he's crazier than me!” Deidara ranted as he and Itachi made their way down the hall. “I mean, really, un! It's not like I plot to blow up buildings! Well, not buildings with people in them... But still! I heard that danna's ripped a man to pieces for sneezing wrong before, and she thinks being a pyromaniac is bad? Konan's a fruitcake, un!”

“I thought Sasori was asexual,” Kisame said with a grin.

Between the two of them, Itachi cracked a smile. “No, that's Kakuzu.”

“Nuh uh.” Sharky shook his head. “He definitely has a sexual preference other than himself.”

“Hey, hey, we're talking about Konan here, un,” Deidara protested, scowling at them. “Not that freakazoid Kakuzu! I swear that guy has a few screws loose up to—” He paused, eyes fixed on the row of lockers ahead, and stopped dead in his tracks. Three seconds passed before he abruptly burst out laughing.

By that time, Itachi had gotten a look at his locker. And the crowd of students that were standing around snickering. He took a moment to sigh, then promptly shoved both his laughing friends into the closest set of lockers. “Ingrates.”

“Love you too, cupcake,” Kisame snickered before pushing himself back upright and slinging an arm around Itachi's shoulders. “Well? Let's go see your new decorations!”

“Call me cupcake again, and I'll be introducing you to Rock Lee as his new training partner.” Muttering under his breath, the black-eyed teen found himself standing in front of his locker. Tilting his head, he took in the damage done to his property.

The blond walked over and eyed the doodle on the locker, smirking. “Hey, he made you into a shojo anime character, Itachi. Your eyes are sparkling, un!”

Reaching out, Itachi rapped a knuckle against the door. No echo. “Hnn.”

“You've got water in there,” his blue friend noted, pointing a finger at a thin trickle below the door.

“And sand.” Itachi rubbed two fingers together, feeling the fine grit. A flash went off and Uchiha sighed again. “Really?” he asked, turning to look at his other friend.

Deidara gave him an innocent smile as he hit send. The picture went to his email inbox. “It's picture worthy, un.”

Black eyes gave him a flat glare as silver eyes gleamed.

“Yo, Dei. Send me a copy!” Kisame grinned, evading a punch to the shoulder from his best friend.

“Traitor.”

“Cross-dresser.”

“Oh, _fuck no_.”

“Bishie?”

“No.”

“Bishie.” Blue Boy traded grins with Deidara.

“Definitely bishie,” the blond agreed, and cackled. “I'm sending a copy to Hidan too...”

Itachi shook his head as he was steered down the hall towards the janitor's office. Sometimes, he wondered who caused more chaos in his life, his friends or his brother's.

xXx

A few days later Shikamaru walked up the pathway to Sasuke's house.

The day had been long. For some reason, Iruka had decided it would be today he would announce a pop quiz and find out how dismal some of his students were. After Iruka had them mark each other's papers, he looked at them all, dismissed half the class right away, and then proceeded to drill biology into the rest of them. This was made worse by the fact that somehow Iruka had managed to make his usual study group (problem students from his class and Kakashi's) larger with the 'good students'.

Naruto had tried to sneak away by claiming bathroom emergency but Iruka said that if he didn't come back, the rest of them would be cleaning up the classroom instead.

After the dirty looks from the rest of them, Naruto had laughed in embarrassment, rubbed his nose, and sat back down.

Sasuke, Sakura and Shino had been allowed to leave. Sasuke had smirked of course, Sakura shook her head and Shino almost looked like he wanted to stay.

But the day was over… and the REAL Uchiha matriarch was welcoming them all over for dinner per Sasuke's request.

Shikamaru always did like the quiet that surrounded the Uchiha's house. Not as nice as the forest near his, but it was a nice change. Not to mention the smell of the cooking that already wafted from the house…

Frowning as he stood on the front step, He stared at the closed door. He had thought that Naruto and Sasuke would be out here waiting for him. 'Hosts' as they were.

Sure it was risky to be hosting the celebratory dinner in the same house as Itachi, but Sasuke had been pretty sure Itachi was out with friends tonight.

He raised a hand to knock on the door, but to his surprise, it swung in on its own.

Opening to reveal a black shirt with red stitching. _Oh, shit_. Shikamaru froze. Itachi wore that shirt.

He raised his eyes and indeed Itachi looked down at him.

“Hello Shikamaru,” Itachi intoned. “Welcome.”

Shika blanched. What was he doing here? He looked beyond the Uchiha heir and spotted Sasuke standing just to the side. The younger brother had an almost horrified look in his eyes.

Stepping to the side, Itachi revealed a Naruto fidgeting just behind him. “Welcome,” Itachi said again. And smirked…

Once Shika had edged past Itachi, and the younger Uchiha dragged him and Naruto down the hall and up a set of stairs to his room, shutting and locking the door behind them. “Shit, shit shit,” he muttered, dark brows pinched on a pale face. “Kaasan just told me…”

Naruto looked confused. “Told you what?”

“You know how you were wondering about why she had us bring out the extra table?”

“… yeeesss…” Suspicious uncertainty coloured Naruto's voice as he stared at his best friend.

“He's invited his friends over, too. All of them. Hoshigaki, Toji and the Zombie Brothers,” Sasuke said with quiet dread, referring to Jashin Hidan and Chuushin Kakuzu by their mutual nickname.

The colour drained from Naruto's face. “… crap.”

Shikamaru frowned. “But why is he here? You said he was out!” It couldn't be called a celebratory dinner if the enemy camp was staring at you from another section of the dining table. Or… worse grinning at you from across the food. Shikamaru shook his head. “Troublesome…”

He looked at Sasuke and Naruto. Ino—sitting on Sasuke bed, having arrived moments before Shikamaru—was making meeping sounds. He groaned. “Naruto, what have you dragged us into?”

Naruto looked wounded for a moment. “It's not my fault—!”

“Yes it is!” Ino shrieked, decking him with enough force to send him sprawling.

“Shut up!” Sasuke hissed, tensed. “Someone's here. I can tell…”

The other three stared at him like he was insane before Naruto cleared his throat. “So, uh, teme… Er… How long has your… ah, dementia been… plaguing you?” he asked uncertainly.

Sasuke glared at him. “It's not—” He cut himself off and listened, and they all heard the clear sound of Jashin's voice, echoing from somewhere in the vicinity of the stairs.

“HOLY FUCK!”

“Hidan!”

“What? This place is fucking awesome!”

“Oi, watch yer language, un!”

This was followed by Hoshigaki's laughter and the paling of four faces.

“… told you so,” Sasuke said.

The silence stretched thin. Downstairs they could hear the older boys say 'hello' to Mikoto-san and enquire about Uchiha-san. 'Yes, Fugaku-san would be joining them for dinner, he was running a little late with meetings—but should arrive any time now. Would one of them call the younger kids down to dinner?'

“It's okay, Itachi; we'll get them,” sounded an amused voice at the stairs. “You're up to your eyebrows with plates. Really, it would be our pleasure.”

_Kisame_? Shikamaru blinked. And who was 'we'?

“Shit.” It was hard to tell who'd spoken.

Sasuke, who had his back to the door, jumped when there was a solid thump against it, followed by Kisame's voice through the fake wood. “Oi, time for dinner, kiddies,” he said, the grin in his voice obvious.

Sasuke's expression darkened as he stepped back, jerking the door open. “Whatever,” he said, shifting under the shark-like teenager's silver gaze. Sasuke looked past Kisame, catching sight of Hidan leaning against the far wall and Deidara just clearing the stairs with his hands shoved into his pockets. As Sasuke glared at them, the older teens grinned back evilly.

Sasuke resisted the urge to gulp. “We'll be down in a minute; you can go away.”

“Hey, no need to be rude,” Kisame said, grin widening.

Ino huffed. “No need to leer,” she retorted, tucking a clump of hair behind one ear before glaring at him.

Hidan snorted. “'Yer leering, yer leering',” he said, voice sing-songy in quality.

Deidara laughed. “You should be more careful, un. She might call the cops.”

Ino's eyes narrowed on the oldest blond and he paused, blinking at her almost deadly look. He coughed and cleared his throat. “Uhh…”

Kisame only laughed. He shook his head at the kiddies and turned around to face the other two boys. “We'll be helping Itachi downstairs with the set up. We all love Mikoto-san's cooking. And,” the tall boy looked back over his shoulder at them, “since we're helping with the set up, you guys are left with the dirty dishes.”

Sasuke cringed. Ino grimaced. Naruto stuck out his tongue. Shikamaru sighed and shook his head. It wasn't traditional Japanese culture to do so, but there was an understanding that if the Uchiha brothers invited more than a few friends over, they were to help with set up and clean up. All of them.

The older boys took their leave laughing and joking about aprons and using up as many plates as possible. The younger group looked at each other. Shikamaru was already thinking a mile a minute, but the rest of them were in shock.

Itachi had been expected to know it was Sasuke who had targeted him. There had been a time where the two had been close, but it had been years since they had been able to stand each other. Or rather, Sasuke couldn't stand Itachi. Itachi on the other hand took an unholy amount of amusement out of poking his younger brother. Shikamaru understood the draw; it was like poking a hedgehog. Sasuke was just too easy to rile up. Sure he didn't show anger right away, but Shikamaru could read the signs as clear as the billboards downtown. And he had only known Sasuke for five years. Itachi, on the other hand, had been around to watch him develop those signs.

It was also expected that Naruto would be identified as the mastermind behind the prank. He wouldn't stop boasting about being the number one prankster in Konoha High. The prank war between him and Itachi had been going on ever since Naruto rigged Uchiha's pen to explode back in the blond's freshman year.

What they didn't expect was for Itachi to take it so calmly. It killed Naruto's pride that his target didn't respond according to plan. Sasuke just sulked. And now, Itachi was here. At their party.

It was going to be a long dinner.

xXx


	2. No Man's Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "... Eat dinner. Wash the dishes. Then get back up here. Alive preferably."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The world must worry when Hidan and Deidara are in cahoots...”  
> -Lost

"Well, you know how this is going to go."

Sitting backwards on Sasuke's desk chair, Shika gave the others a hopeless shrug as all eyes swung to him. "We can't do anything—No, we can't, Naruto," he forestalled the blond who had opened his mouth. "If we try anything, here, now, we'll be disrespecting our hosts."

Leaning against the closed door, Sasuke grunted and nodded. Arms crossed and brooding, the Uchiha scowled at the floor. "He won't do anything during dinner for the same reason we  _won't_. He's too much of a momma's boy."

The beat of silence after his statement rang with the unspoken words from the others: ' _And you aren't_?'

Shika coughed once, as he caught sight of Ino's hand clamped firmly over the other blond's mouth. She gave him a wry smile as Naruto subsided. No need to add more animosity to the situation.

It was uncanny how his and Ino's thoughts ran parallel sometimes.

"Just go downstairs. Eat dinner. Wash the dishes. Then get back up here. Alive preferably," Shika advised.

"And don't make a scene," Sasuke added, giving his best friend a pointed glare.

His best friend who promptly swelled up in righteous indignation. "Hey! I'm not the one who—" Naruto broke off as the black-haired teen he was ranting at was suddenly looming in his face.

"My house, dobe. My rules," Sasuke snarled down at the blond who was sitting on his bed.

Next to them, Ino edged away, sending Shika a scathing speaking glance.  _Say something_!

"So troublesome," the Nara boy grumbled under his breath. "Look, we don't want to offend Fugaku-san or worse Mikoto-san. And the last thing we need is to give Itachi's group any satisfaction. We're going to go and enjoy this dinner... Or at least the food."

The glaring match between the two friends broke off as Naruto growled and looked away.

Sasuke huffed once before slumping down between the two blonds. "Fuck."

xXx

It was still an awkward dinner party.

At the head of the table sat Mikoto and Fugaku. The younger group, starting with Sasuke, sat on Mikoto's right hand while Itachi and his friends sat opposite on Fugaku's left. Kisame sat at Itachi's left, followed by Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu who opted to take the end seat. Ino stole the spot next to Sasuke, leaving Naruto to shrug and sit down next to her. Shikamaru ended up facing Hidan. The spot across from Kakuzu remained empty and, from his pleased expression, he preferred it that way.

Once the dinner started, the parents immediately pulled the brothers into conversation, and eventually Kisame also joined in. The older teens ate easily, casually talking amongst themselves. The younger would have eaten just as happily, if it weren't for the occasional glances and snickers that came from Deidara and Hidan. Kakuzu ate in relative silence, only responding to the albino when necessary.

Shika was beginning to relax, finally managing to block out the subtle jeering that came from across the table and enjoy the meal. He couldn't completely ignore everything happening around him, but he was stubbornly trying to.

Dinner then was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Mikoto-san blinked, and then smiled. "Your missing guest?" she asked her youngest son, gesturing to the empty chair near the end of the table.

"Er, possibly," Sasuke stalled. He spun around—Ino leaned back as he shoved into her space—and pinned a look on his suddenly pale best friend. " _Who is that_?" he hissed.

Naruto swallowed at the arch look Itachi was sending him, and said four syllables that made Sasuke tense. "Sakura-chan," he breathed in sudden dismay. "I invited her, too. I forgot all about it! She said she'd be a little late because she was tutoring a student."

Excusing himself, Itachi rose from the table, curiosity firmly piqued. Whoever was at the door was worth investigating. His ototo looked apprehensive. Uzumaki had gone  _white_.

He opened the door to find a girl standing with her hand raised about to knock again. "Yes?"

The girl looked up with a start.

He looked down. She was cute… for a 16-year-old. Was that pink hair? Itachi blinked. She must be one of Sasuke's— _Oh_. Memory sparked and the reactions of Sasuke and Naruto clicked into place. Here was the girl who admired his brother but ignored the blond who adored her, at least that's how the rumours went. It would be interesting to see the drama play out first hand.

Smirking, he gave a small nod. "Hello Sakura-san, are you here for dinner?"

She blinked a few times at him, and nodded slowly. "Uhm… Yes?" she ventured, then added, "Naruto said it would be okay... I mean, I don't want to intrude, so if it isn't, I can just..."

"No, no." He held up a hand to interrupt her. "Come in. If you are invited, you are invited." Stepping back from the door, he gestured for her to enter.

While she sat down with her friends at the table, he disappeared into the kitchen to grab the plates and utensils she would need. After a minute, he returned to the table and touched her elbow. When she turned to face him, Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me," and he placed the dishes in front of her. "Would you like anything to drink?"

Once again, she didn't reply immediately, instead casting Naruto a look that said, ' _This is your fault._ '

The blond flushed pink and grimaced angrily. Thankfully, both Shikamaru's and Ino's hands on either of his shoulders stopped him from doing anything stupid.

Sakura sighed and shook her head, then smiled brightly at Itachi. "Sure! Do you have any juice? I like apple," she answered sweetly, her diplomatic, deal-with-flirtatious-boys-that-I'm-not-really-interested-in smile firmly in place.

_Zing_. He could almost hear Kisame's mental comment from the other end of the table.  _You've been told, brother_! Being Okaa-san's son, Itachi knew how to read female expressions, and that one had been dismissive.

Amused, Itachi nodded and left again to pull the pitcher of juice from the fridge—coincidentally, they did in fact have apple juice. He took his time, pouring out her drink.

_Now, when was the last time I was brushed off so effortlessly_? He had been dealing with fangirls and the general idiot student populace for so long, that it was refreshing to find someone who would fearlessly look him in the eye and tell him 'No'. Or in Sakura's case, 'No-I'm-not-interested' in a single expression.

The only females he knew capable of that were perhaps his Okaa-san and Konan. Both of whom he had clearly no romantic interests. Not that he had been trying with Sakura... Was he interested enough to start though?

Placing the container back into the refrigerator, he shrugged. Before he committed himself to anything, reconnaissance was the first step.

Striding back into the dining room, he noticed that the chatter had resumed, at least between his parents and Sasuke. Naruto was trying to whisper something to Sakura without Itachi's friends overhearing. Which was comical at best as the table really wasn't that wide. And Shikamaru was sitting between them.

This time when Itachi presented the glass to Sakura, he made sure he kept a bit more distance.

Sakura smiled in thanks and took it, their fingers brushing. She lifted a brow but shrugged it off, turning to reach out and pinch Naruto, who jerked away with a stifled yelp. "Be nice!" she hissed, just loud enough for Shikamaru, Naruto and Itachi-those nearest-to hear.

"B-but Sakura-chan! Did you see the look he gave you?" the boy whined, only to be pinched again.

Sakura straightened and then stood, bowing to the Uchiha parents. "Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to eat with you and your family. I'm very glad. And please, let me know if any of my friends are a bother." Her smile turned slightly menacing as she turned her gaze first to Sasuke, then Naruto and finally Shikamaru, and they all shrunk back while Ino snickered. "I'll make sure they straighten their behavior out!"

The eldest Uchiha male lifted a brow, and then nodded. "Of course, Miss…?"

"Haruno Sakura. I apologize; I should have introduced myself to start with." She flashed another semi-sincere smile.

Itachi chuckled and headed back to his dinner.  _Interesting_. Neutral ground though she held with him, her first outspoken act in this battle was to thank his parents for the meal and declare herself the enforcer over her  _own_ friends. The apology for the late introduction was a nice save, though that task should have fallen to Sasuke to rectify.

_She may not be interested in me, but she's not against me either_. Not a single word or glance showed any hostility towards himself or the other teens, despite her status as Sasuke's friend. And all the stories that his brother was keen to spread about his demon of an older brother.

Once seated, he turned to find Kisame watching him.

The blue teen tipped his head towards the pink-haired girl, one brow quirked in question.

In response, Itachi lifted a single shoulder in a half shrug.  _Maybe_.

His friend's other dark brow rose. "Really?" Sharky asked aloud.

"Possibly." Unable to help himself, Itachi rolled his eyes. "Have to talk to her first," he muttered.

Kisame let out a sharp bark of laughter before raising his glass in wordless salute. Smiling himself, Itachi echoed the motion and accepted the good-luck-you-idiot toast.

Shikamaru looked over at the sound, noting the grins on both the older boys' faces.  _What are they up to_? he wondered, frowning.

As if in answer to his question, Itachi's regard slid down the table to rest on the girl to Shika's right. Paused there in silent contemplation. And then, he turned to start talking with his father and Kisame, something about a project in school involving welding.

Inside, Shikamaru groaned.  _Crap_. As if they didn't already have enough drama going on with the pinkette. Now she had managed to catch  _his_ attention? Nara's inner agonizing cut off as a growl to his left caught his attention.

Naruto was seething.

Sasuke had gone a little green but was stubbornly maintaining the conversation that his mother had locked him into. After a moment, Ino convinced Naruto to switch seats with her, and Uzumaki was pulled into Mikoto-san's conversation with Sasuke. Also about a class project.

Shikamaru felt a poke at his shoulder, and he turned around to see Sakura frowning at him.

"What's with the eyes?" she hissed.

"What eyes?" Ino asked, looking confused from her new spot at Shika's left side.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "The looks I've been getting from everyone since I stepped through the freaking door," she retorted quietly.

"Oh, those eyes." Ino shut her mouth and averted her gaze.

Shikamaru rolled his own eyes. "Sakura, the only ones that have been giving you eyes were Itachi," he ticked off a finger, "Naruto, of course, and…" he trailed off. Because the eldest Uchiha couple were  _also_ giving Sakura glances. "Uh..."

Ino caught his eye and jerked her chin to the other side of the table. Kisame was still giving Sakura amused glances and the other older boys were looking too. Ino actually seemed a little pissed. Sure, Sakura didn't normally steal the show, but why were the  _parents_ watching Sakura?

"Get it now, genius?" Sakura muttered before sighing. "So what's up? Why is everyone staring at me so weird?"

Her voice had apparently risen a bit, because Hidan, across from Shika, and Deidara, across from Ino, burst into quiet snickers. Hidan had a hand on Dei's shoulder, leaning heavily on the blond as they slowly died from their laughter. Across from her, Kakuzu rolled his eyes and muttered something about idiots before pointing at Sakura.

"Don't waste your food, Haruno," he said. "It's a waste of money. And rude."

Sakura's eyes narrowed dangerously on him, but he remained unperturbed, so she smiled brightly. That actually made him stiffen, and he wondered if the woman was bipolar, or just crazy. The exchange just made Hidan and Deidara laugh harder, until Kisame elbowed the blond hard in the ribs because they were drawing attention to themselves.

"Ow!" the blue-eyed boy yelped, straightening to glower at the blue-skinned male beside him. "What was that for, un?"

"Do you have something you wish to share?" Uchiha Fugaku asked, tone that of a teacher patiently scolding gossiping students.

Both teens—after a look from Itachi that promised death—shook their heads quickly, and Kakuzu sniffed and pointedly took a bite of rice.

Shikamaru quietly followed suit. Mikoto-san's cooking was always a treat. Despite the awkward situation, sitting across from the older boys really wasn't all that bad. Besides the verbal prodding and the sly laughter, for the most part, dinner was actually civil. Most likely because of the Uchihas at the head of the table. Disrespect the hosts and you risk having one or both of the brothers pummelling you.

The rest of the group bent their heads to their plates and the dinner calmed down to quiet talk and requests to pass such and such plate. Shikamaru relaxed. A peaceful dinner was the best. He had almost gotten used to the pointed looks and snickers from across the table.

Sasuke finally took a deep breath and spoke more loudly, mind whirling as he calculated. "So… Sakura. I was wondering if you could help me with something later…"

She looked up from her meal, peering across half the table. "Huh? Like what, Sasuke-kun?" the pinkette asked, brow quirking.

"Um… Just something," he replied vaguely, then appeared to cave. "Um, you know that one time that you were talking about clay and—"

"Oh!" she said, straightening with a grin. "Yeah, I remember!" she declared, not noticing Deidara's brow quirk curiously. "I can totally help you with it!"

"Fangirl," Ino teased, winking at Naruto, who gave her a wan smile.

Sakura turned and scowled at her. "Shut up, Ino Pig."

"Never, Forehead," the blonde retorted, straightening.

Sasuke coughed, distracting them from another one of their famous cat fights. "So… Tonight? After dinner?"

Itachi stifled a snicker as the conversation around the head of the table shuddered to a halt. Now the rest of the Uchiha family was watching the pair with open interest.

Sasuke noticed and twisted in his seat to find his mother looking at him expectantly.

"Clay?" Mikoto-san asked her youngest, one eyebrow raised.

Sasuke blushed slightly. "Just this stupid extra credit thing I somehow got talked into…" He paused to glare at Naruto, who coughed and then glared back.

Fugaku sighed. "Just don't make too much of a mess, Sasuke," he advised, and glanced at Sakura.

She realized that she hadn't answered and shifted in her seat. "Well, actually, Sasuke-kun… I… I can't."

Sasuke's head snapped up while Itachi looked on curiously, Naruto fidgeted, Kisame quirked a brow and Ino choked on a sip of her OJ.

Sakura ignored the varied reactions and hastened to explain. "I promised aunt Tsunade that I'd watch TonTon, and… I don't think you guys want a pig running around your house."

Sasuke, strangely, didn't look disappointed. "Oh, I see," he said. "Well… I could come over with the stuff. It  _is_ due tomorrow, Sakura. If I don't do it tonight…"

She blinked. "Well, I guess that's okay." She turned and smirked at Ino. "You can find your way home alright, can't you, Ino- _chan_?"

Ino's eyes narrowed, but she smiled almost sweetly. "Sweet dreams," she replied and winked.

Naruto groaned. "Okay, okay, we get it. You two love Sasuke-teme and hate each other. Can you stop with the arguments already?!"

Sasuke glared while Sakura pinched Naruto again and Ino's glare promised death in the near future.

Dinner ended quickly after that. After, while the older boys sat around chatting to the parents, the younger ones took the dishes and started the chore of cleaning up. Due to habit, they formed a line along the kitchen counter. Naruto grabbed the plates from the table, Ino washed, Shikamaru dried, and Sasuke placed the dinnerware back into the various drawers and cupboards. Luckily, for the dishwashing team, the older boys had not followed through with their threats of aprons. While they were busy washing and cleaning up, Sakura was…

Well, she was talking. Sort of. Okay, so she was really just kind of sitting there, listening to Mikoto chat with Kisame about aquariums, Fugaku and Kakuzu were deep in conversation about marketing strategies and Deidara and Hidan snickered over something or other. Which, of course, left Itachi, whom she'd almost forgotten, until he sat next to her on the sofa and offered another glass of apple juice.

"Thanks," she said, voice soft. The atmosphere-despite the noise-seemed to demand it.

He shrugged. "See it as a peace gesture." When Sakura swung a questioning look at him, Itachi gave her a rueful smile. "It looks like we started off on the wrong foot." He held out his hand. "My name is Itachi."

Blinking a bit, Sakura then smiled despite her reservations. She had heard a lot about Itachi, most of the negatives came from Sasuke-kun, though some rumours said he was suave, handsome… and completely scary. As of the current moment, she was completely undaunted, so she took his hand. "And I'm Sakura. It's nice to meet you, Itachi-san."

"Likewise," Itachi shook her hand, careful to not linger too long on her fingers; truce offered and accepted. She had a good shake, firm and confident. Eye contact as well. "What is this clay project that Sasuke mentioned? Why the need for extra credits?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I think it was Naruto that needed them, and so, naturally, he had to drag someone into it with him. I really don't know for sure, though. I don't have the same class as they do." She shrugged and grinned slightly. "Personally, I think Sasuke appreciates it. Means he has Naruto to stand behind when a horde of rabid fangirls come running."

"Hnn." Itachi couldn't help smirking. "Sasuke? Girl troubles? Say it ain't so." He gave Sakura an amused glance. "Funny, I can actually relate. Perhaps one day one of us will find a solution, and tell the other how to avoid the fangirls." Tilting his head to regard the girl, Itachi paused for a moment before asking: "Are you one of his?"

She huffed. "No, not really. I mean… I used to like him a lot when I was younger, but… I guess I grew out of it. I think I… like someone else…" Her gaze strayed toward the kitchen when Naruto yelled for some reason, but then she shook her head and said flippantly, "Though it could just be my imagination!" Naruto  _was_ an idiot.

Another thought struck her mind, and she added, "He looks up to you, you know. He doesn't act like it, but I can tell." Despite the non-sequitur, it was very clear whom she was talking about.

Itachi slanted another amused look at Sakura, then shook his head. "I'm aware he still does; I am taller." At Sakura's flat glare, the older brother chuckled, raising his hands in a mute gesture of surrender before continuing. "Sasuke has always looked up to me; I know. However, I'm afraid I've raised the standards too high for comfort." He glanced into the kitchen where Sasuke was stacking dishes.

"It's the curse of the older sibling to forge a path and set the parent's expectations. As for the next sibling, it's their curse to follow behind in the shadow of the first." Itachi went on, shrugging. "He resents me for being the 'perfect' son. Even with all his accomplishments, he will not match me; our personalities are too different."

Sakura gave him an exasperated smile. "You're wrong." As he blinked at her, the smile vanished and she continued seriously. "He looks up to you because you were always there, when your father was busy with the company, and your mother had her cooking at the restaurant. You were the person that calmly told him he was being a stupid little kid, or smiled just for him when he accomplished something.

"He doesn't resent you. He hates the fact that you never tell him you're proud of him anymore. Yeah, it's a little stupid. He's a grown guy, but really, he's still only a kid. We all are. And maybe, just maybe, life shouldn't be such a competition between you two, huh?" She gave him a bland smile. "That's the stupid thing between brothers."

Frowning slightly, Itachi let her words sink in, and then looked back to the kitchen. They were almost done in there. "Hnn. I will think on that. Thank you, Sakura." Itachi nodded to her and stood. "No promises on stopping all competition, but…" He gave her a small smile. "I will experiment."

Wandering over to Okaa-san, he asked if there was anything out of the kitchen she needed. She smiled up at him and asked for tea, as he knew she would.

"Oi! Waiter!" Snapping his fingers, Kisame grinned. "I'd like cookies."

Raising a both brows slightly, Itachi gave him a flat stare. "I'll look."

By the time he arrived in the kitchen, the younger group had finished washing the dishes and had put away the leftovers; However, Sasuke was still transferring plates into the cabinet.

When Itachi loomed over him, the younger Uchiha twitched and looked up. "What do you want?"

This time when Itachi heard the animosity, he didn't react in kind. Instead, he gave his brother a measuring look and reached up to select a teacup. Glancing down as he closed the cupboard door, Itachi met his sibling's gaze. "You upheld the dinner conversation admirably," he replied calmly. "Well done."

The older brother then took the china to the teapot, filled the cup, and left the kitchen. Implementing Sakura's advice was a minor effort. And perhaps it was time to change tactics with Sasuke anyway. Their interactions had been stale and predictable as of late.

Walking back into the living room, he presented the tea to his mother and told Kisame he didn't find any cookies. Returning to the couch with Sakura, he paused, noting her wide green eyes. "Did you want anything?"

"Did you just…" She looked past him into the kitchen, where Sasuke was staring at the counter top, face completely blank with shock. "Did you actually  _listen_ to me?"

Shrugging, he sat down. "I have no qualms in complimenting him, but you are correct; I haven't been for quite some time." One quick glance showed that Sasuke still hadn't moved. "And that reaction is well worth the effort," he added, before chuckling.

Sakura found herself grinning widely at the infectious sound. "He looks kinda stupid, standing there, huh?" she asked with a tiny giggle. Both of them were now turned towards the kitchen.

His younger brother apparently heard them for he shot them a glare and turned abruptly away to stomp up the stairs, dragging Naruto along by the ear. Sakura sighed and got up. "Guess I should go now. I have to get home and all. It was nice talking to you, Itachi-san." She smiled. "Um… See you at school?"

"It would be my pleasure." Standing, he responded automatically, "I enjoyed our talk, Sakura-san."

As she moved away from him to say farewell to his parents, Itachi paused, blinking. What he had said, normally empty words, matched the experience. He  _had_ enjoyed conversing with Sakura. There had been none of the doe-eyed vapid mannerisms of a fangirl in her regard. And she had displayed no fear. It had been a little awkward at certain points, but that was the norm in new interactions.

Moving forward a few paces, he stopped by Okaa-san and his blue friend. "Sorry, Okaa-san, I'm need to borrow Kisame for a moment."

She lifted a brow but nodded and Kisame followed as Itachi walked to the front door where Sakura was slipping on her shoes.

"What's up?"

"Get Sasuke."

The shark at his side flashed teeth. "Cookies?"

"Oreos. We have a box above the fridge."

"On it,  _Miz_ Uchiha."

Itachi snorted as his friend thudded up the stairs. Kakuzu required cash, Hidan would take too long teasing Itachi, and Dei would have set something on fire. Kisame  _should_ be able to do the job without causing mental trauma. Perhaps.

Sakura paused and turned, frowning slightly. "Um… Please don't do something strange and vaguely testosterone-ish, like pick on him," she ventured, shifting.

"Kisame is only fetching him," he replied smoothly. "Would you like a ride home?"

"Well, I'd planned on taking the bus," Sakura admitted. "I hadn't known Sasuke would be coming with…" She chewed on her lip for a moment, debating. "If you wouldn't mind, though…" Trailing off, she tucked a lock of hair behind one ear timidly.

"Not at all. I did offer." He bent to pull on his own shoes. "Do you want to call ahead? Let your parents know you have a guest coming?"

Upstairs, they could hear as the older boy pounded on Sasuke's door and the muffled yelling from the other side.

Sakura smiled and held up her cell phone. "I texted mom while you were in the kitchen."

Itachi lifted an eyebrow at that.  _Smart girl_ , he thought. Outwardly, he just smirked. "Good to see Sasuke has someone with brains thinking ahead for him." Sasuke had just come down the stairs and was glaring at him again.

The older brother simply ignored him. Retrieving his keys from the key rack, he turned to nod to his parents. When Okaa-san smiled and Tousan waved dismissively, Itachi opened the front door saying, "Keep up, Sasuke," and walked out of the house.

Sasuke scowled deeply while Sakura just shook her head, exasperated.  _Men_. They just couldn't feasibly get along for longer than ten seconds, could they? Sighing, she looked at Sasuke. "Ready? Do you have everything?"

He nodded. "Yes. C'mon."

She beamed. "Okie dokie! Oh, I bet TonTon misses you, Sasuke-kun," she said as they walked out to Itachi's… pretty… silver…  _Camaro_? "Oh my…"

Sasuke scowled again.

Itachi loved his car. Of course, he had built her from scratch so it stood to reason that there would be emotional an attachment to her, Shiori. He smiled as he trailed his fingers across the shining surface of the Camaro.

She had been junk when he had first seen her. Someone's mistake on the road had caused so much damage to her body that she was committed to be scrapped. He had been tossing drinks back and forth with Hidan in the scrap yard office when the tow truck had brought her in.

Love at first sight for sure. And now, she was all his. Every single piece surgically removed and replaced with loving hands. Itachi's lips quirked at that. Okay, so there had been blood, sweat, and curses mixed in with the love. But then, that's how he liked it.

By the time the kiddies had stumbled out of the house, he had already pulled out of the garage, engine purring.

He smirked at Sakura's appreciative once over. "Get in." Itachi popped the locks.

Eyes wide, she nodded and slid into the passenger's seat—shotgun—while Sasuke got in back. "She's gorgeous," she murmured, running a hand over the black leather before hurriedly buckling in. "My dad works as a repairman for vehicles, so I see all sorts of pretty cars," she admitted sheepishly. "I've loved cars since I was a little girl because of it."

"Can we  _go_?" Sasuke asked, irritated.

Itachi arched an eyebrow at Sasuke, but eased the car out of the driveway anyway. As he changed gears, he tilted his head to Sakura without taking his eyes off the road. "Repair work hm? Did he teach you anything?"

Inside Itachi's head, the last of his doubts about taking an interest in Sakura died. She knew about cars, the insides as well as the out. Now there was an interesting aspect he had not predicted. And if there was a way to catch Itachi's attention, it was to compliment his baby.

She shrugged. "A little bit," she hedged. "I don't live with him, so I don't have the chance to learn often. I actually live with my mother." She smiled. "But I do know how to jump-start a car, change a battery, and clean out the exhaust."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and glared out the window.

_Hnn_. Separated parents; mother had sole custody. Yet, she still loved both parents. "What is your address, Sakura-san?"

The ride passed without much else said. The older brother drifted into silence enjoying the evening drive and only idly paid attention to the talk between the two friends.

"You got your stuff, right Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, glancing back at him.

He gave her a look. "Yes."

She smiled. "Good! Sorry, I'm used to Naruto forgetting all the time."

"Don't compare me to the dobe."

"Did I ever tell you that you remind me of Konohamaru-chan when you scowl like that?" This, of course, caused Sasuke's scowl to darken.

Itachi sighed. His ototo was just making life difficult for himself, the way he took teasing so seriously. If Sasuke continued to live this way, he may actually resemble Kakuzu in a few years. Itachi doubted that Naruto would do the same job as Hidan in mellowing Sasuke out.

Finally, they reached their destination and a thoughtful look crossed Itachi's face as he pulled into Sakura's driveway. "Ototo, how long will your project take? I could swing by again to give you a ride home or would you rather take the bus?"

Sakura looked at Sasuke expectantly, and he scowled at Itachi. After a moment, though, Sasuke smirked back. "You can come back and pick me up. We should be done in about two hours; is that good?"

Sakura let out an annoyed huff and abruptly got out of the car, closing the door (almost reverently) and then stalking to the house.

Slinging an arm around the passenger backrest, Itachi twisted around to look at his brother.

"Two hours are just fine. Are your friends staying at our place until you get back?" Itachi remembered getting a glimpse of Naruto's face as Sasuke had come down the stairs. The kid didn't seem too pleased with Sasuke leaving with Sakura. Actually, it had been surprising that Naruto hadn't invited himself along.

"Kick them out whenever," Sasuke replied, and then frowned. "And whatever you're planning, I'd think twice before you piss off Naruto. He gets unpredictable." That said, he opened the door, grabbing his things as he slid out.

Itachi simply gazed at his brother through the open door, mind caught between categorizing his brother's words as a threat or a warning. He knew about Naruto; a physical confrontation just wasn't even in the plans. And his whimsical interaction with Sakura was honest interest—as surprising as it was.

The older Uchiha settled for swiveling in his seat to face forwards again before dismissing Sasuke. "You are the one who is following Sakura home late at night. Take your own advice. And do not harm her."

Sasuke sneered at the warning and the veiled implication. "As if. I'm leaving." The door clicked closed and he jogged up to meet Sakura on the porch. They exchanged a few words, she waved good-bye to Itachi, and they went inside.

xXx


	3. Running Helps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "WE ARE IN AWE OF YOUR MANLY SKILLS AND VIGOR!"

The next day, Naruto, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Ino and their friend Choji were huddled together on the quad during their mutual free period (fifth), and Choji's and Sasuke's B lunch. Naruto had called a 'meeting' amongst the five, stating that their 'Itachi problem' needed to be discussed.

"I just  _know_  he's planning something. Did you see how cozy he was getting with Sakura-chan?!" the blond demanded, scowling and looking the tiniest bit hurt.

The sound of crunching chips stuttered to a stop. The group looked at Choji who began to cough. "Cozy?"

Naruto nodded, turning to Choji as a potentially sympathetic ear (Ino and Shikamaru had heard him bitching plenty the night before). "Yeah! He was talking to her and—"

"And he listened to her advice," Ino inserted.

"Yeah! … Wait, what?" Naruto's eyes narrowed in confusion.

Ino coughed. "Well… I called her when I got home last night—Sasuke'd already left by then—and we sat up talking for a while."

Sasuke choked on his school-made French fries. "WHAT?!" he yelped. "You guys—"

"—Were GOSSIPING about ITACHI!" Naruto interrupted, red-faced.

"Let it go, Naruto," Shika interrupted. "We can't control what they talk about, so why try?" While the blond boy began growling under his breath, Shikamaru sighed and waved at Ino to continue, not that she needed prompting.

Ino grinned. "Well," she began. Fifteen minutes later, she'd gone over the whole night with a fine-toothed comb, adding her interpretations (being corrected occasionally by Sasuke, Naruto or Shikamaru), inserting her opinions and just generally turning the debacle into prime gossip. "… and after she said that, he goes off to the kitchen—supposedly for tea—and tells him that he did well at dinner," she was saying when a shadow fell across the group.

The five looked up and blinked at the redhead standing there. He frowned slightly, a couple of his friends approaching. "You're in our spot," he said, voice toneless. "And don't dawdle; I don't want my time wasted."

It was Akasuna Sasori.

The school had two main 'in' groups. One, consisting of Sasori, Shikikami Konan, Akatsuki 'Pein' Nagato, Shokubutsu Zetsu and Fukumen Tobi, called themselves 'Akatsuki' (no one knew why and guessed it was because Pein was more or less their ringleader). The other was Itachi's group.

Both were equally known and equally not trifled with, but the Akatsuki group was more on the feared side.

For good reason.

Now, the five friends were surrounded by the five in Akatsuki, them peering down dispassionately at Naruto's friends.

Shikamaru turned his head slightly to watch the group approaching. "We don't want a fight, but we did get here before you. There's enough room for everyone to be comfortable," the Nara boy said cautiously.

Ino was shaking her head at him signaling they weren't buying it. Shikamaru just needed to distract them for a few moments though. The others were getting up themselves and packing their belongings away.

"Did you hear Sasori?" Konan demanded, reservedly impolite. "Move it or else."

Naruto stood up, cerulean eyes flashing with annoyance. "Or else what, Shikikami?" he replied, glaring.

"Or we'll make you!" chirped Tobi, thin, boyish lips stretched into a wide grin. The way he said it, you'd think he were talking about something exciting and good, like the fair or something. He always seemed happy (and often claimed to be a 'good boy').

Sasuke glared at them. "We were here first," he said to Pein. "Take your groupies and beat it."

"I'm not afraid of Uchihas, clearly," Pein replied calmly, frowning slightly.

Ino smiled nervously. "Why don't we just—"

"Shut up," Konan sneered, glaring at her. "I don't want to hear the sound of your voice, airhead." And she ignored the way Ino's expression immediately darkened.

Naruto glowered. "You should respect other people more, Shikikami," he growled.

"Just shut up and beat it," snapped Sasori impatiently. "You're wasting our time."

"Wasting your time?" Ino snapped. "If you wanted this spot so badly you should have gotten here at the beginning of the period! It's already half over. What were you wasting your time with before? We shouldn't have to move because you're too slow to move ass!"

"Ino—!" Shikamaru tried to pull the girl out of the way, but Shikikami had already moved.

Without a single emotion the older girl reared back and rammed a fist into Ino's right temple.

The blonde dropped like a stone.

"Fuck!" Naruto and Sasuke both jumped up shouting as Shikamaru and Choji went for Ino. The girl was knocked out, but besides a developing bruise, it looked like she was going to be okay. Shikamaru turned around just in time to see Pein grab Sasuke around the collar and haul him in eye to eye.

Wait—if Sasuke was there, then what about… As if in slow motion, Shikamaru watched with a sinking heart as Naruto grabbed a half-finished pop can off the asphalt and chucked it at Pein's head.

Wide-eyed, Shikamaru watched as the blue-haired girl once again reacted instantly, knocking the projectile away into the bushes. Damn, she was going to be a bitch in a fight. Now if only they could make sure Ino stayed safe then they—

"What the FUCK?"

They all glanced over to see someone stumbling out of the nearby bushes, face downcast and hands rubbing at his clearly stained white shirt as if he could get the pink liquid out of it. It was Hidan, looking very pissed and—when he lifted his head to try to spot his assailant—very comical.

Tobi burst out laughing, nearly falling over where he stood. Pein looked startled to see the normally badass albino covered in what looked like magic marker, from chin to hairline. There were doodles of stars, and jacked up hearts, and… was that a unicorn?

The bushes were shaking behind him.

Naruto looked like he was trying to blend in with the concrete, realizing what he'd done. Hidan was glowering darkly at Tobi, looking about ready to walk over and deck the kid. Sasori managed to push past his shock and smirk. "Why, nice of you to join us, 'Crack face'," he said, reading the word scrawled across Hidan's forehead.

"What the  _fuck_  did you call me, bitch?" Hidan growled, gaze swiveling to the redhead.

Zetsu sneered. "'Crack face'. It's written all over your face," he said, and though the term could be taken as a figure of speech, he meant it literally.

Hidan spat, vibrating with fury. "Fuck you! Who the fuck threw that damn cream soda?"

"What's it to you?" Konan demanded, scowling. "Mind your own business, Jashin."

"This  _is_  my business, you fucking whore! I just  _bought_  this shirt, and do you know how much I make!? Whoever the fuck did this is gonna fucking pay for it!"

Behind him, Kisame stuck his head through a break in the bushes, taking in the commotion he'd only half been listening to until Hidan got involved.

Kisame barely had enough time to toss the marker before Hidan had woken like Sasuke on a bad hair day: pissed and vengeful. With the accusations on who to blame about the pop can flying back and forth, Kisame was laughing so hard that he could barely stand.

Eventually, he did get out of the bushes in time to hear Hidan demand retribution. Uh-oh time to divert before they told him about his face. Again.

"Hey now ladies. I'm sure everything was just an accident, yeah?" He looped an arm over Hidan's shoulders and patted the bright pink stain. "And the guy," Konan gave him a glare, "or girl—will just buy you a new shirt."

Pein dropped Sasuke, sending the Uchiha stumbling, in favor of moving his attention to the bigger threat–in this case, the overly violent and sadomasochistic Hidan. "You think any of us would care enough to buy doodle face a new shirt? Get it yourself," he scoffed.

"Fuck you. You are buying me a new shirt." Hidan stepped up to Pein. "Thank you for volunteering, you—Wait. Doodle face?"

And the gig was up. Kisame cracked a wide grin as Hidan whipped around. "Hi there, Pretty. Come around here much?"

Several things happened in that moment: the prank victim let loose a roar and leaped at Kisame, the forgotten kids scattered, and Ibiki-sensei stalked in through the gate. "You two!"

"Shit!" Both Kisame and Hidan jerked.

Ibiki may have had a louder roar than Hidan: "I have been looking for—!" but the bald man had nothing on the PE teacher.

"IBIKI-SAN! YOU FOUND THEM!" Gai-sensei came charging through the gates from the other side–along with the rest of the PE class. "You are surely THE PINNACLE OF VIRILITY to find these TWO YOUTHFUL SPIRITS with SUCH SPEED! I and my WONDERFUL STUDENTS OF SPRING-TIME ENERGY have combed through the entire school grounds WITHOUT SUCCESS. WE ARE IN AWE OF YOUR MANLY SKILLS AND VIGOR!"

Ibiki-sensei actually looked a little impressed. "The lung capacity…"

The two 'youthful spirits' didn't stay to compare notes; they sprinted for the side exits.

"Come back here!" The scarred teacher took off after them, closely followed by Gai and the exhausted classmates.

In a matter of seconds, the only souls left in the once-quiet quad were the Akatsuki.

Konan blinked. "… What just happened?"

Pein sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It would seem Kisame and Hidan were skipping… again."

Tobi, giggling on the ground, abruptly sat up. "I'm bored now. Let's go."

"This was a waste of time," Sasori muttered, starting for the school.

And Zetsu remained silent.

 

xXx

Later that afternoon, Itachi was awaiting his friends—with Deidara, whom he shared classes with—and he looked up as Kakuzu walked slowly toward him, looking unhurried. Unfortunately, for the money monger, Kisame and Hidan suddenly came out of the shadows beside him, lifted him up by the arms, and marched him to the others, grinning at his protests.

"—so you should know that dawdling is a risk to your health," Kisame was saying as they reached Itachi and Deidara.

Deidara blinked at them in disbelief, then shook his head. "Hey, Kisame, where were you for Metal, un?"

Kisame snickered and lifted an arm only to have it knocked down by Hidan. 

"Not a fuckin' word you jackass," the other boy hissed.

Not at all fazed, the grinning boy turned back to Dei. "Art is such a wonderful thing—Oof!"

Hidan pulled his elbow back out of Kisame's stomach.

An unholy glee seemed to seize Dei. "You spent the last period doing art?" The blond pushed the albino to the side and looked up at Kisame with hopeful eyes. "What kind of art? What was your specialty?"

Kisame blinked and started to cackle. Without a word, but with a proud grin, the tall boy handed Dei a black permanent marker.

"You fucking asshole! Gimme that goddamn marker!" Hidan snapped, making a pass for it, but Deidara lifted it and held it above their heads, dancing out of reach. "You fucker! You motherfucking sonovabitch, goddamn it! Give it to me, you ass!"

Still laughing, Kisame sidled up to Itachi as the two boys went at it. The Uchiha lifted a brow. Kisame folded his arms across his chest and smirked. "Notice how Hidan looks shiny and freshly laundered?"

Both black brows were now lifted.

"He's so squeaky clean now… but you can still see the ink that—"

"You FUCKER!" Hidan abruptly broke off head-locking Deidara in favor of tackling Kisame for the second time that day. The two boys went down in a heap: one shouting profanities while the other laughed maniacally.

Itachi moved out of range of the flailing limbs and gestured to Deidara. "Wasn't Hidan wearing a white shirt this morning?"

"Maybe?"

"Chuckles said something about Hidan needing to wash." They both looked down at the combatants tussling on the ground.

Deidara looked thoughtful. "Well, there was some rumor about a fight at lunch… But, I don't know much more than that, un. Maybe Hidan was involved or somethin'... He doesn't look hurt, though."

The grinning Kisame had managed to pin Hidan face down and the albino was taking the chance to exercise his vocabulary. "You fucking asshole, I'm gonna fucking kick your ass and light you on fire, and your fucking goddamn markers too, you asinine piece of—"

Kakuzu had apparently decided that enough was enough, nudging the blue-skinned boy with his foot. "Are we going to stand around all day? Or can we  _leave_ , now?" he demanded irritably.

"—And fuck you too." Hidan grunted. "Shit. What time is it?"

Hopping up off the downed man, Kisame helped him to his feet. "Time to get to work, Sunshine."

"You first, fucker."

"Aww, you're such a great friend," the grinning boy gushed, pulling the wary Hidan into a rib spine-cracking hug. After releasing him, Kisame turned to Itachi. "We meeting at my place tonight?"

Itachi's eyebrows were once again up. The shark boy grinned even wider. "Yes."

"Cool. Later then, girls!" Whistling, the cheerful boy jogged over to the bus stop where the bus was already waiting.

Turning back to the group, Itachi watched as Hidan spouted off a few more choice words and then leaned down to grab his bag from the ground. The albino paused, straightened, then shoved a hand down his back pocket. "The shit-eater lifted my wallet!"

Deidara snickered, watching the bus take off. "You dumbass, un," he teased. "C'mon; I have the Dodge today, un. Itachi, did you bring your car, or do you need a ride?" he asked, glancing at the Uchiha.

The black-haired boy shook his head. "I'm fine." He nodded towards the parking lot. "Kakuzu, you need a ride again?"

"Please," Kakuzu said, then paused. "You're not charging?" At Itachi's look, he shrugged. "Just making sure."

"Cheap bastard," Hidan muttered.

Kakuzu flicked a rock at him (he kept a few in his pocket for such occasions, because he often said that it was all Hidan was worth). "Shut up, brat." He offered Itachi a half bow and then started toward the parking lot, the others trailing behind.

Deidara was grinning. "Hey, wanna see who gets there first, un?"

 

xXx

The evening at Kisame's had been satisfactory. The brainstorm session between the shark and the Uchiha and yielded some entertaining ideas. Itachi had been playing with the logistics of stuffing live fish into Uzumaki's locker, when Kisame suggested something else. One of his customers, a kid named Gaara, had been searching for white tropical sand for months. When Kisame had taken Uzumaki's sand to the store, he had called Gaara, and now the redhead felt indebted to the shark. And he knew someone who had a pet octopus; one that had a bad habit of escaping constantly.

Smirking, Itachi stretched out on his bed. There was no need to rush his revenge on Naruto. Time would provide. In the meantime, he had been careful to casually drop small compliments on his brother every few days. Sometimes, he would say them directly, other times he would be saying them to his parents while Sasuke was within earshot.

Fugaku found it amusing, but Okaa-san had pulled Itachi aside after the first two times to ask him what he was doing.

Itachi sat up and pulled off his shirt. Who knew that following an innocent piece of advice could provide so much entertainment? Sasuke now floundered on the edge of hope and sullen pride; it was both laughable and endearing.

Padding across the room, the older Uchiha brother pulled a towel from the back of the door and headed for the bathroom. On the way, he paused at Sasuke's room and knocked on the door. When it opened, the younger boy blinked, then glared.

"What do you want?" Sasuke huffed.

"I was—" Itachi was cut off by a younger, sweeter voice.

"Sasuke-kun! That wasn't nice!" Sakura. This time, Itachi blinked.

Apparently, the two of them were studying; printouts, textbooks and pencils spread out across the floor. They must have been sitting in the middle of the mess because there were two bare spots in the white sea of paper.

The bare-chested Uchiha looked down at the pink-haired girl who was scolding his brother. "Good evening, Sakura."

She turned around, opened her mouth and stopped. She blinked. Then she flushed bright enough to rival her hair.

Internally, Itachi preened.

When Sasuke had asked her to help him study for the biology test that night, Sakura had agreed readily enough. She had managed to get out of the house early enough that she was skipping through the doors of the Uchiha residence a few minutes before dinner.

This time it had been a very quiet dinner. With just the parents, Sasuke and her, it had been hard to imagine the chaos that she had experienced the last time she had eaten here. She had been able to talk a few moments with Sasuke, but for the most part, Mikoto-san had monopolized the dinner table conversation. Most of which had concentrated on pulling personal information out of Sakura.

It had been enjoyable, though Sakura had the gut feeling that the matron had an ulterior motive behind all the questioning. When she had asked Sasuke, he had shrugged and waved it off, saying that maybe it was because his mother missed having female company in a house of males.

She didn't think that was it—but the topic slid off the radar once the textbooks came out.

Hours had gone by, broken only by the occasional knock on the door when Mikoto-san would stop by and ask if they wanted any refreshments. Sasuke had asked for water, while Sakura had hesitantly asked for a ride home. Both requests were granted, much to Sakura's relief. It was getting pretty late.

When there was a knock on the door again, Sakura had assumed that it was Sasuke's mother again, proposing that Sakura go home before it got too unreasonable. When Sasuke opened the door and answered with such an abrupt tone, Sakura's etiquette lessons kicked in. One did not address their mother that way!

It was a shock then when, in the middle of her impromptu lecture to her friend, a male voice greeted her. When she turned around to see who it was, the shock helped itself to the eye-candy and a great deal of blushing.

Uchiha Itachi stood leaning in the hallway, in nothing but a pair of loose cotton pants.

Sakura's brain took out a checklist. Bare chest: must have toned muscles. Check. Double check: he had a delicious set of abs, and pecs, and shoulders… The checklist became littered with check marks.

Did he look better with his hair down? Check. Yes. Could you see the muscles of his legs through the thin slacks? Check. Yes. Does he wear his pants low? Check. Yes. Does he have a sexy smile? Yes. That last one wasn't on the list, the brain frowned. Sakura passed judgement; it was going on the list now.

 _Did he just say something_? She shook her head and looked at Sasuke. Why was he looking at her weird? "What?"

Her ex-love-not-ever-boyfriend frowned. "You should go sit down."

"Yeah. Sure." Sakura sat back down in the midst of the homework.

Sasuke turned back to his brother and lifted his chin. "What do you—" He sighed. "Did you need something, brother?"

Itachi smirked. "I was going to take a bath. Just checking if you needed the facilities."

Sasuke shook his head, but Sakura shot to her feet. "I need it!" she said in a rush. She paused and then slapped her forehead. She didn't even dare look at either man. "I mean, I would like to use the bathroom for a moment."

Itachi was gracious enough to step aside when she bolted out the bedroom door.

A few minutes later, Sakura was still staring at her reflection in the bathroom. She just couldn't believe herself. All that time, she had sat on the floor while the brother had been talking, her eyes—traitors that they were—kept traveling towards Itachi's… HIPS.

Sakura wailed softly and pressed her forehead to the cool porcelain of the sink. She should be honest to herself, right? His hips, while nearly bare, were not what she had been gawking at.  _Alright, Haruno. Say it_. She was looking at his  _crotch_.

She felt her cheeks flame up and without looking at the mirror she turned on the cold tap. Stupid fair complexion!

A familiar knock sounded on the door.  _Seriously, this evening has been nothing but knocks on doors_! Sakura thought randomly.

"Sakura-san?" Oh no… It was Itachi. "Are you alright in there? It's been ten minutes."

She squeaked.

On the other side of the door, Itachi nearly burst into laughter. Did that sound really just come from her? He allowed a chuckle and then lifted a hand to rap on the door again.

Before his knuckles touched wood, the door flew open and a pink-haired, pink-cheeked girl flew all of four feet from the inside of the bathroom, straight into his chest. "Oof!"

Sakura squeaked  _again_.

Her hands. Where were her hands? Above the waist. Okay, thank kami. Then, what were they doing?

Sakura opened her eyes, and discovered herself nose to perfect pectoral. And she recognized those muscles. Her dainty hands were pressed, quite comfortably, on those abs that she had been admiring earlier. Her cheeks felt like they were going to combust. She had run full tilt into the older boy, thus was pressed full frontal, knee to collarbone, body to body, with Itachi—

Why wasn't she moving?!

"What the hell?" Oh no…  _That_  was  _Sasuke-kun_.

This time Sakura didn't squeak. She didn't blush. She didn't stammer. Mind you, she didn't bother with eye-contact, but she communicated quite thoroughly how she felt.

Haruno Sakura  _wailed_ as she ran back to Sasuke's room, leaving behind two brothers standing in the hall: one confused and deeply disturbed, the other rather amused.

 

xXx


	4. Place Your Bets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did Kakuzu just make twenty-five for handing the phone over to Deidara?"

"Oi, anyone gotta quarter?" Deidara asked, scowling into his wallet before checking his pockets again. "I wanna get a soda from the machine, but I'm short," he added.

Kakuzu sniffed. "Don't look at me," he grumbled.

Hidan leered and rummaged in his pocket, withdrawing a quarter and flicking it at the blond. "Here; you owe me."

"Yeah, yeah," Deidara muttered, waving a hand.

"Hey—Isn't that the quarter you owe me?" Kisame asked from where he sat with Itachi. The two of them were playing poker and so far Itachi was winning. Though not by as much as he'd like.

"Fuck you." Hidan growled. "You stole my wallet. Then you spent the money in the wallet. Then you had the balls to put an IOU note into my wallet. You. Owe. Me."

Blue Boy leaned back in his chair to look at Hidan. "There was only ten dollars in there!"

"Doesn't change a damn thing." The junkyard guard paused. "In fact. Pay up. Now."

"No," Kisame said, and smirked.

"Honestly, you two are ridiculous," Kakuzu said, though if he were in the same position as Hidan, he'd be saying the same thing... or rather, he'd be taking it out of Kisame's hide.

Deidara rolled his eyes and left the office to go to the soda machine out behind the small building, while Kisame sneered. "Shuddup," he said, though his good mood was hardly dampened.

Hidan was glowering at Kisame. "You better fucking pay me back, you blue-skinned freak! Or I'll kick your ass and then sell off your fucking organs."

"Ha!" The teen slapped down his cards face up and Itachi blinked. Kisame held out a hand of wriggling fingers and his friend reluctantly handed over a few dollars. He turned back to the argument. "If you could kick my ass, and if you knew how to properly harvest organs, you'd need them for yourself!"

He counted the bills in his hands, conscious of Kakuzu's lingering stare. "Anyway. Here's your ten." Kisame tossed the folded bills at Hidan. One by one. Each aiming at a different location by the boy's chair.

"You're a fucking dick!" Hidan snarled, but lunged for the money.

Deidara walked back in and snagged a dollar bill. "Ooh, lookie—"

And Kakuzu snatched it away, smacking Deidara upside the head in the process. "That's a waste, and I'll gut you for it if you try it again," he said firmly, and handed the bill to his best friend.

"Dick," was Hidan's thanks.

"Cunt," Kakuzu retorted simply.

Deidara rolled his eyes and sat back in his spot next to the poker game. "Hey, who won that round?" he asked seeing the cards had been shuffled again.

Itachi stared at him, picked up the cards, cut the deck again and dealt the hands. "Are you in?"

Raising both hands, the blond backed down. "No, thanks. You saw what happened when I ask for money."

Kakuzu sniffed. Hidan smirked. "Bitch." Kisame wasn't sure who had said it that time.

There was a lull for a while as they played another round of cards, and Hidan stuffed his money in his wallet. Kakuzu eyed the Poker game with rapt interest, until Kisame started edging away from him as if worried he might try to steal their money (he wouldn't; that wouldn't be proper monetary management). Deidara bickered a little with the others...

And then Hidan's cellphone went off. Without missing a beat, Kakuzu snagged it from the desk and flipped it open. "Hello?"

There was a pause, and Hidan quirked a brow, mouthing 'who the fuck is it?' Kakuzu ignored him, hummed noncommittally, and shrugged. "Yes. What do I get? Hmph. Fifty. Tch. Fine, twenty-five, nothing less. Deal." He handed the phone to Deidara, who blinked rapidly, then lifted it to his ear.

"Uh... hello?" He grinned. "Well, long time no talk! … one question? Yeah, why are you calling me on Hidan's phone? … WHAT!?"

Hidan scowled. "Who the  _fuck_  is calling my fucking phone?" he demanded.

The blond snickered. "It's Sasori."

Kisame looked at Itachi. "Did Kakuzu just make twenty-five for handing the phone over to Deidara?"

His poker partner silently shrugged. Possibly. Sounded like it. Plausible? Not really. Ask him, not me. Idiot.

"Oi, Kakuzu..."

"It'll cost you," Kakuzu said without turning.

"What?!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Shhh!" Deidara glared at the Blue Boy. "I'm on the phone, un! Shut up, Kisame!"

"Stupid, money-brained, rebar-up-the-ass, friggin—Gah!"

Deidara smirked, and nodded to whatever Sasori was saying. "Uh huh. Oooh, yeah, it'll be a bang!" he said excitedly.

Deidara only used that expression when explosives were involved. What  _could_  he be talking about? Hidan couldn't figure it out.

"Yeah, yeah, I can ask 'em, un." The blond snickered. "Oh, right now? I guess..." He lowered the phone, placing his hand over the receiver. "Hey, the Akatsuki guys are having a party, and Sasori heard that I'm into fireworks, so he called to ask for me to help out... He also said that you guys are all invited, plus dates."

Kakuzu sniffed; he'd already known.

"A party?" Hidan asked, eyes narrowed. "Why the fuck are they inviting us?"

Deidara shrugged, then put the phone to his ear as it buzzed slightly. "Oh... yeah. Kay. I'll let them decide, and bring anyone who wants to. Talk to you later, un." He hung up the phone and passed it back to Hidan, who stuffed it in his pocket. "It's Friday night, for anyone that wants to go."

Itachi drummed his fingers on the table.

Kisame caught his eye and lifted his brow. "Anyone know how good their parties are?"

"Who cares, un!" Deidara scuttled over to his backpack. "I'm going to be doing art! Of course it'll be good!"

Itachi looked at Kisame and shrugged. "Nothing else to do that night."

Kisame snickered, "Hidan may not want to attend on account of..." he trailed off as Hidan stood up from his chair. "Yo?"

"Your fucking shriveled nuts, Blue Boy."

"Ah. I guess we're going then."

Deidara cheered and then started in about fireworks, while Hidan scowled and Kakuzu smiled smugly. Kisame was smirking and egging on the albino, while Itachi just thought... who to bring? He smiled.

xXx

The next afternoon after school, Itachi snagged the phone from the hallway and slipped into his room, closing the door. Sasuke wasn't home yet, probably still trying to get away from Naruto. He grinned. Kisame and Itachi had run into the group of younger kids at the entrance of the school as they were leaving.

Kisame had immediately slung an arm around Shikamaru's shoulders and started chattering away non-stop about picking up girls. It had been amusing to say the least. The victim's face had turned a bright red as the younger boy tried to convince Blue Boy that he had no idea what he was talking about. And no, he wasn't interested in picking up boys either.

That last comment had gotten an incredulous look from Kisame, who then started snickering. Much to Shikamaru's dismay, the teen simply continued on talking. In a loud and enthusiastic voice. One that managed to snag everyone's attention. Only, there were three people who were not paying attention.

Itachi had managed to snag Sakura a little ways away from the group and had begun his own campaign. He asked her how Sasuke was doing in his school work.

Sakura had given him a wide-eyed stare at first and then asked him why wouldn't he ask Sasuke, and why the sudden interest?

The older Uchiha had grinned. "One, Sasuke would never answer me honestly."

At this, Sakura opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

"He wouldn't admit to me if he was having any troubles. Thus why I am asking you. You are his classmate. You help with his assignments." Sakura blushed at the reminder of her earlier embarrassment. Itachi went on. "And second, you are the one who wants me to get along with him more. Which entails, me being interested in his life."

The pink-haired girl jerked. "You mean, all these rants I've heard from Sasuke-kun about you being more of an annoyance, is you being nicer?" She looked stunned. "Because of me?"

He chuckled and noticed that Naruto off to the side was glaring. Perfect. "You had a fresh view on our situation. I decided to take the advice. And I have been giving him compliments." He smirked. More of an annoyance indeed. Ah, his brother was amusing."How he chooses to take them is not within my control."

Something seemed to click in Sakura's mind. "You know it's confusing him!"

"Yes."

She frowned. "So you're doing it just for entertainment? It's just play?"

Itachi tilted his head for a moment. No, no it wasn't. He answered truthfully, "For entertainment yes, but that doesn't mean I will compliment him for nothing. What I do say to him, be it a praise or otherwise, I will not lie."

He watched as Sakura took in what he had said. A smile blossomed and she stepped forward.  _What is she_ —Itachi almost stepped back as the small girl wrapped her arms around his waist.

All chatter around them died.

Sakura mumbled something into his shirt and he looked down. "Sakura-san?"

"... thank you."

"You're welcome." Itachi looked up straight into the purpling face of Naruto. And smirked. "You may want to let go though. I think your friends want to talk to you."

Sakura stiffened and abruptly let go, but didn't move away. She kept her face averted to the side, but he could still see the bright flush of her cheeks. "Oh God... " She glanced to the side at Sasuke. "But, you wanted to talk about Sasuke-kun?"

Itachi shook his head and placing his hands on her shoulders, he turned her around towards her friends. He stooped to speak into her ear. "I'll call you later."

"O-okay," the girl whispered.

The older boy gave her a little push and watched her stumble towards her friends. He straightened and caught the eye of Kisame. "We're leaving."

Kisame grinned and patted Shikamaru on the back. "Think about what I said, man."

The two of them walked off the school grounds with Kisame laughing. They could clearly hear Naruto loudly question Sakura.

"What was that about?!"

Flipping the home phone up in the air, Itachi grinned. The chances were good that Sasuke would have been the rant victim of Naruto after that display. Which meant, he had perhaps an hour until his tired and confused brother made it home.

He caught the phone one-handed without looking and rifled through some papers in his nightstand. Sakura had given his mother her house number when Okaa-san had driven her home a few nights ago. He grinned. Okaa-san had returned that night and had simply, without a word, placed the paper into his hand.

Finding the same slip of paper, Itachi lay back on his bed and dialed the number.

The phone connected and began to ring.

"Hello?" An older female voice answered the phone. Itachi's eyebrow went up. Her mother then.

"Good afternoon. Is Sakura-san home?"

There was a pause, then the woman continued. "May I ask who this is?"

He smiled. Ah, gatekeepers. "Hnn, this is Sasuke's older brother, Itachi."

"Oh! I—"

The phone was suddenly muffled, and a couple voices mumbled for a minute. Then: "Itachi-san?" Sakura was back on the phone.

He laughed. "Are you ashamed of me, Sakura-san?"

"Wha-what? Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Sakura asked, sounding surprised. "Why on Earth would you have that impression, Itachi-san?"

"Your mother and I were just introducing ourselves to each other," he said smiling.

"Oh..." She fell silent for a moment. "No, I just..." She stopped, then started again, as if embarrassed. "Um... so you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Hnn." He glanced at the clock. "Sasuke has never brought you over before to my knowledge, nor my mother's. And, the visit was for the sake of school as opposed to—" Itachi paused. "—otherwise. Is he having troubles at school, enough that he needs help?"

"Um, no, not that I know of... He started taking on some extracurricular stuff recently," she explained. "I think he figured out that two heads are better than one; we usually finish quicker than if we were alone, and he had a lot on his plate before he took up the extra cred stuff. I don't mind helping, though. It's fun to study together."

"Ah. So, no troubles. Good." His brotherly obligations were neatly fulfilled then. Itachi moved on with his own agenda. "Would it be too troublesome for me to borrow you from my brother for an evening then?"

Silence. Then, "Uh... Um... b-borrow? A-as in... like go somewhere? Together? As in... Oh... Like... like a..." She stopped, and seemed to be unable to continue, so Itachi smoothly helped her out.

"There's a party this Friday night. I know it's short notice, but I would be honored if you would come with me."

"A... party?" she said, and then coughed. "I... I don't know, Itachi-san... I really... I don't know..."

Itachi glared at the ceiling, then shrugged. "Is it my company that you object to?"

"Oh! No, no, that's not it. You  _seem_  like a very, er, nice person, really," she quickly reassured him. "It's just... I don't know you."

Chuckling, Itachi took it in stride. "And what you do know of me is from my delightful little brother. I understand. Would you like to know me personally?"

"Uh... What do you mean?" Sakura asked, caution creeping into her tone. She'd gone down a 'know me personally' road before... and she didn't want to again. But maybe Itachi meant something different; she hoped so. She could only give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I mean, I am interested in you, Sakura-san," Itachi paused to let that set in. The girl was silent on the other side and he went on. "I would like to know you. Nothing more for now. If you'd prefer, I could take you out for coffee. The party is not important."

There was a brief pause before she made a soft sound—like clearing her throat—and spoke. "Uh, well..." She paused, and sighed. "Coffee, huh?" Another silence, as if she were contemplating the thought. "Well... I mean, how about we... Coffee would be  _nice_ , Itachi-san." She couldn't remember the last time a guy had asked her out for  _coffee_. To just sit and talk and get to know one another...

She smiled. "I would like that, actually. And then, I mean, after... if you're still willing to take me, and I'm still willing to go, maybe a party wouldn't be so bad..." She shook her head. "I just don't know if I want to go to a dumb party. I won't  _know_  anyone, you know?" She realized she was rambling and stopped.

"Excellent." Itachi frowned, thinking of her doubtful tone about coffee. "If you do not like coffee, Sakura-san, I'm sure I can find a place for tea. If that is to your preference. As for the party. If you are willing, we will go. If you do not enjoy your time there at the party, it is a simple matter of leaving."

He turned over onto his stomach and checked the clock again. "True, the party is invite only. However, you would be surprised at who shows up at these events. You may know someone." Itachi rolled his eyes and muttered. "If anything, the entertainment will be good. Deidara has been ranting all day about how perfect his firework show will be."

"Fireworks?" Sakura asked, sounding less hesitant. "Why would Toji-san be doing fireworks?"

"Why—" Itachi blinked.  _She didn't know_? He laughed. "Don't let Deidara hear you ask that. Ever." He grinned, rolling to his back again. "Let's just say that things that go boom and flash pretty colours are his passion. The louder, the brighter, and the bigger, the better for him. And if you're asking why is he doing the fireworks for the party, he was asked by Pein."

"Oh... Then is he good with explosives?" she asked curiously. Her eyes narrowed, and her tone became shrewd. "Say... was it him that blew up the top floor boy's bathroom last year?"

"Yes, he is good." Itachi said, smirking.

Sakura chuckled. "Okay, don't answer, Mr. Mysterious," she said, and shook her head. "Well... I guess that'd be interesting, at least... Sasuke-kun says he's annoying, though." She grinned. "Then again, he says all of your friends are annoying. His own friends too... Hm... I'm seeing a pattern here." She laughed, and grinned. "Sorry, rambling."

"I will not lie, Sakura-san. If you want the answer, you should go to the source. Ask Deidara when, or if, you go to the party. Or any other time." He smiled. "I caution you though, once he starts talking about his 'art' it will be hard to stop him."

Itachi sat up in bed. The front door of the house had slammed. Perhaps Naruto had not ranted for as long as he had expected. "When should I pick you up for coffee then?"

"Oh, well... I'm free uh... tomorrow afternoon? I mean, I'd say today, but you probably don't want to wait until I finish tutoring..." She paused, and sighed. "Aaah, Naruto... Well, my 'student' is here, so I should hurry this up..."

His eyebrows went up. "I can keep myself occupied if need be. Call me when you're finished tutoring and ask me again then." He could hear Sasuke coming up the stairs. Itachi grinned.

"Oh... well... Okay, then, I guess. I'll call you around five, then, is that alright? Sheesh, Naruto, I'm on the phone! Shut up—uhhg. If you don't get your blond butt in that room I'll—Naruto! Uhg, Itachi-san, I'm sorry. I'll call you back when this moron has left, okay?"

"Perfect," Itachi purred into the phone. "And Sakura-san? Thank you."

A pause, then, "For what?" she asked, surprised.

"For agreeing to the coffee date." he said. "For agreeing to know me, despite all that you know of me from Sasuke." He smiled and walked over to his closed bedroom door, where his little brother had stopped to listen. "For giving me a chance to know you." He swore he could hear Sasuke's teeth grinding from the other side.

"O-oh, well, you're welcome—NARUTO!"

A male voice then spoke on the other end. "She's busy, good-bye."

_Click_.

Itachi grinned. "Good-bye." He lowered the phone and opened the door. "Hello Sasuke." He greeted the boy. "Excuse me." He stepped past his speechless brother and returned the phone to its cradle in the hall, then went on to the kitchen. A snack would be nice about now. It was too early for a victory feast.

"Oi!" Sasuke said after a minute, following his brother to the kitchen. "Was that Sakura?"

Putting the cereal box down on the counter, Itachi turned. "Yes."

The younger boy crossed his arms and frowned at his brother suspiciously. "And you're going on a date." It wasn't really a question.

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

Sasuke frowned more. "What are you doing? It doesn't make sense. Is this part of your vendetta against Naruto for that Miz Uchiha thing? 'Cause if it is, and you're sitting here planning on crushing us all, I will  _not_  let it happen," he said firmly, defensively. He  _really_  hoped Itachi hadn't been being nice to him just to turn around and crush him... that would... well... He would be pissed.

The other eyebrow went up to join the first. "I am getting to know Sakura-san because I want to and because she allows it. The 'vendetta' is a separate matter." Itachi leaned back against the counter. "And it is a private matter between me and Naruto." He tilted his head and snorted. "Even if the prankster had assistants."

Sasuke scowled. "Fine," he relented after a minute. Itachi hadn't ever lied before, but he'd certainly with-held details. The younger just hoped this wasn't one of those times. "I have homework," he added, and turned away.

"Hnn." Itachi smirked. Amusing indeed. He faced the counter and lifted a bowl from stack in the cabinet.

He would have to call Kisame and cancel their poker game tonight. Shaking out the cereal into the bowl, Itachi snorted to himself. Perhaps it would was a good thing to jilt his poker partner for the night. Lately, the taller teen had been winning their games...

He narrowed his eyes. Kisame's winning streak began shortly after Kazuku had suggested playing for money.

On the way back into his room, Itachi noticed the hall phone was missing.

xXx


	5. Scant Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A Camaro. A silver Camaro. A gorgeous silver Camaro. Get it?"

"OKAY," Naruto said loudly once the phone was on speaker. "Spill, Sakura-chan! What's going on? Why were you talking to tall, dark and stalkerish? Huhh? Huh?!"

Sakura smacked him upside the head while Sasuke groaned in exasperation on the other end of the line. "Naruto!" she screeched. "Don't make me beat you!"

" _Oi, would both of you knock it off? There's nobody watching; you don't have to put on a show_ ," Sasuke said, feigning a yawn immediately afterward.

Sakura turned bright red. "Saassukkkee-kuuun," she growled slowly.

" _Yeah, yeah. So what was that call about anyway?_ " Sasuke asked, grateful that he wasn't in the room with her. She'd be beating on him if he had been.

"What did you hear?" Sakura hedged.

Naruto straightened up, sticking out his chest in an approximation of Sakura's chest size. "'I'll call you at five'," he said in a high falsetto. "'Oh, sorry Itachi~ I'll call you when Naruto's gone!'" he mimicked.

Sakura decked him. "Naruto!"

Sasuke wasted a minute snickering behind his hand, then added, " _'Puuurrrfeeect._ _Thank you,_ _Sakura, for agreeing to let me get to know you, despite what Sasuke's told you,_ " in a scary-similar voice to Itachi's slightly smoother, deeper tones. And he broke into louder snickers.

Sakura was red.

" _Hey hold on._ " There had been a knock on the door. He was sure of it. " _I think that's Itachi at the door. I'll be right back_." Sasuke placed a hand over the phone and walked to the door.

On the other side both Naruto and Sakura winced at the loud shuffling noises that emitted from the speaker.

" _Yeah—Oh! Kaasan!_ "

Neither kid at the Haruno's house noticed a slick click amongst all the shuffling noises.

" _No, we won't be long... Okay... Thank you."_  Sasuke's voice came filtering through. After a moment he uncovered the phone. " _Mom was wondering if she could have the phone soon_ ," he explained.

"Oh," Naruto said, having been about to ask. Then he looked at Sakura. "So? We told you what we heard—FROM BOTH ENDS—"

" _Naruto, don't shout._ "

"—so spill already, Sakura-chan?" Naruto looked a little hurt. "I thought... well, I didn't know you were into the psychotic, potential mass murderous types."

Sakura sniffed. "Alright you idiots. He wanted to know if Sasuke-kun was having troubles in school. I've never been to Sasuke's house before. So he wanted to know why Sasuke-kun needed the extra help."

" _Bull-shit_." Sasuke's tone was flat. Naruto snorted, nodding.

Sakura blinked. "Does he lie?" Her brows came together in a scowl. "Either he does lie and I drop him the next I see his face or he doesn't. In which case I am still going out—"

_Click._

" _Hello? I'm sorry to interrupt. Sasuke-kun, are you going to be long?"_  A mature female voice came on the line.

" _Kaasan? No, it's okay. Ten minutes?"_  Sasuke smiled. His mother was great, but sometimes she took the oddest route to ask him things.

" _Only ten?"_  His mother's tone took on a teasing edge.

" _Maybe twenty.._." he admitted.

Her delighted laugh rang through the lines. " _Just let me know when you're done sweetie."_

" _Yes, Kaasan."_

" _Sorry everyone."_

"It's okay, Mikoto-san," Sakura said with a smile.

Naruto blinked at her, then shook his head. "Yeah, it's cool, Missus U."

This time it was Sakura blinking.

There was a soft click as Mikoto's phone went dead.

" _Can we get this over with in ten minutes?"_  Sasuke sounded guilty.

Sakura snorted. "I asked you a question. You have to answer first. Does he lie?"

Sasuke coughed. " _... well, he never_ _has_ _..._ " he admitted slowly. " _I just... well..._ "

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Then Sasuke-kun, you're being a paranoid ass."

" _Hey_ —"

"Hey Sakura-chan..." Naruto tilted his head to the side, pouting. "Does this mean you're not gonna hang with us anymore?"

"What?!" She gave him an exasperated look. "No! You idiot. Why would I do that? Just 'cause I choose to go on  _one_ date,  _maybe_  two, with a guy, doesn't mean—"

" _Two_?"

" _Maybe_  two," Sakura ground out. "Doesn't mean that I will stop being with my two best friends. So, stop being such babies about this!" Her gaze softened as she watched Naruto deflate.

"Nothing is going to change," she insisted, putting her arms around Naruto in a fierce hug. "Don't worry." She let go and then slugged the blond in the arm. He yelped. "And stop giving me the eviscerated puppy look!"

He rubbed his arm. "What are you talking about?" he grumbled. "Man... Now I'm gonna have a bruise, and everyone'll think I was fighting again!"

"I didn't hit you that hard, baby," Sakura scoffed.

" _You hit harder than you think, Sakura_ ," Sasuke inserted. " _It hurts_."

"You two are wimps." She sighed. "Geez... So is your freaking curiosity satisfied already? I  _still_  need to freaking tutor you, Naruto."

"You're getting freaky again."

_Whack!_

" _... Naruto? … Naruto...?_ "

"... oops."

" _... what'd you do..._ "

Naruto, laid out on the floor, stirred after a moment, and whined. "Sakura-chan... so abusive..."

Sakura turned red. "You BIG FAKER!"

Naruto yelped and dove over the couch, barely avoiding her hit. Sasuke sighed. " _OI. Chill out, Sakura._ "

She scowled at the couch and then the phone before sighing. "Sasuke-kun, Itachi-san doesn't lie." Sakura waited for the begrudging confirmation before continuing. "I asked him why he wanted to know me. He said he was interested. In me. What does that mean? Like in a romantic sense or just a weird curiosity?"

He hesitated, then admitted, " _I don't know. No one knows. Him and Kaasan are always too hard to read, and then Tosan is too easy to read, and I'm not good at reading people anyway._ " He hesitated again. " _But I've never seen his eyes so... glittery. Not where a girl was concerned._ "

Naruto scowled. "I still think he's bad news..."

Her whack up the back of Naruto's head may have been a smidge harder than she had meant it to be.

Sakura snorted. "People say you're bad news," she told him. "So, if he hasn't gone all  _glittery_ eyed about a girl before, when has he?"

"Glittery," she muttered to Naruto, rolling her eyes. He snickered.

" _Well, he got all glittery-eyed about Shiori_ ," Sasuke said, a smirk in his voice.

"I thought you said he hadn't—" Naruto said, only to be cut off.

" _His_ _car_ _, dumbass_."

"... he  _named_  a  _car_?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke was practically giggling. " _Yeah. He did._ "

Naruto turned to the girl by his side. "You really want to get involved with a guy who—Sakura-chan?"

Sakura was lying out on the floor, grinning at the ceiling. "You have no idea what kind of car this is, do you?"

The blond shrugged. Sasuke groaned.

"It's a Camaro, Naruto." Sakura sighed. "And it's  _gorgeous_!"

Sasuke huffed. " _Nutcase_."

Naruto goggled at his female friend. "You look like someone just gave you a million bucks! So what if his stupid car's a Camura—"

"Ca-ma-ro," Sakura said, drawing the word out as if he were an idiot. "A Camaro. A  _silver_  Camaro. A  _gorgeous_ _silver_ _Camaro_. Get it?"

Wide-eyed, the blond shrugged. "It's just a car..."

"Uhg, you're a moron."

" _You're both morons,"_  Sasuke muttered.  _"I'm hanging up now. See you tomorrow. Naruto make sure to bring your half of the project."_

"Yeah, okay," the blond muttered, still looking perplexed. "See ya." And the last thing Sasuke heard was him saying, "What's so great about a Camurna?"

Sakura clicked the speaker button. "Camaro. Do I  _need_  to beat it into you? C'mon, we have to study."

xXx

Itachi chuckled and hit the mute button again. "Well, what do you think, Okaa-san?" he asked the other eavesdropper.

"Oooh, Itachi- _kun_ , how'd you know?" his mother teased, and giggled.

He smirked. "No dial tone and Otou-san wouldn't bother."

"Aah, true enough. You're so observant! I'm proud of you." She snickered again, then proclaimed, "Shiori-san has an admirer, I see. No wonder you're so interested."

"Hnn." Itachi groaned. "So interested, my eyes glitter." He burst out laughing. "I must have dropped Sasuke on his head at some point."

Mikoto giggled. "Itachi-san! Be nice, hm? He's your innocent little brother, and he reads too much."

He shook his head. "Or not enough of the right books. So—your thoughts?"

"On what, Itachi-san? Really, you must practice being more specific," she said, feigning innocence.

Her son snorted. "Sakura-san."

"Oooh. Yes, her," she said, tone sing-song. "I think that if she doesn't want to date you, you won't be able to do anything about it." Her words—and tone—were teasing, and she had obviously noticed his particular brand of charisma.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "You do approve of her though," he persisted. Her earlier actions with Sakura's phone number were telling, but he wanted it to be clear where she stood.

"Well of course; she won't take your bullshit," she replied cheerfully. "A girl like that is hard to find."

Itachi coughed. "You do realize that once she really gets to know you, she won't take your bullshit either," he reminded her.

"Well, I wouldn't approve of her if I could push her around, dear," she chastised. "No, you don't need to worry about me. … your father, though..." And she trailed off meaningfully.

"Hnn." Itachi leaned back against the wall. He heard a knock on his mother's side and she turned to speak to his brother. He grinned. Little brother had forgotten to tell her that the phone was free.  _So sorry. Oh—you're on the phone already. Again, so sorry. Bye_.

When his Okaa-san brought the phone back up to her ear, Itachi chuckled. "Are you sure I didn't drop him?"

"No, he just takes after your father," she said, and sighed as if this was a bad thing. "Mm... What was I saying?"

"Father actually." He smiled. "Though I'm unsure whether you were warning me of father's opinion on Sakura or her reaction  _to_  his opinions."

She chuckled. "Well... I don't know much about her reactions, though given those to her dear friend Naruto-kun, whom she  _cares for_... Heh... someone she  _doesn't_  care for is likely to get a worse reaction. And as for your father's opinion... He may not like her. I don't know if he does; he never tells anyone anything, but... well, just you let me handle him, though."

Itachi grinned. "Have I told you today how much I love you, Okaa-san?" He turned and looked at the clock. He was doing that a lot this afternoon wasn't he? "Thank you. By the way, is there anything you need from the store? I just need to busy myself for an hour or so."

She was smirking; it was so obvious. "Tea? Hm... and maybe some flour; I want to make bread. Just get the money from the big cookie jar on top of the fridge, please. Oh, and get your father some Pocky; he's almost out."

"Pocky addict." Itachi snorted. "Alright, I'll be back soon." He moved off the bed.

"Good! Have fun." And she hung up.

xXx

Sakura nervously picked at the hem of her shirt as she sat in The Tea Shop (which sold both Tea and Coffee, among other things), which was a popular hangout for teens. Though, it  _did_  afford its customers some privacy if they picked the top floor, which was mostly adults instead of the rowdy teens downstairs. She had just got there and picked a seat, hoping Itachi thought to check this floor, and was waiting for him.

It had scarcely been two minutes, but it felt closer to two hours. When would he come? Would something come up? That would be  _just_  her luck—

"Ma'am?"

Sakura jumped, and looked up at the waitress with wide eyes. "Eh?" she said, unintentionally mimicking her blond friend.

The woman smiled. "Can I get you anything? Or are you waiting...?"

"I'm waiting," Sakura said. "Um... if you see a dark-haired guy down stairs looking around—" But it wasn't necessary, as a voice spoke up right behind her.

"Will I do?" Itachi teased, slipping into the seat across from her.

Sakura blinked a few times, then grinned in embarrassment. "Oh, hi," she said sheepishly.

"Should I come back, give you two a few minutes to see what you want?" the woman asked, smiling pleasantly.

Itachi looked at Sakura. "Just a few moments. Thank you," he said to the waitress.

"Okay, then," the woman agreed and wandered off.

Sakura smiled and shifted slightly. She cleared her throat, looking down at her lap, though a slight smile remained on her lips. She fumbled with her shirt's hem again. "So... uh..." Laughing at herself, she looked up at him and was somehow unsurprised that his eyes had remained fixed on her face. "Naruto thinks you're up to something," she admitted. "And Sasuke agrees, though he says you're not a liar."

He smirked. "I am always up to something. This, however, has nothing to do with either of them." Reaching for the menus, he gave one to Sakura, allowing her a moment to think before speaking again. "I am curious. Sasuke says I'm not a liar, but what does he say about me?" Itachi's grin widened. "It seems the only times I can get an honest opinion from him is to listen at his door when he has friends over. Even then, he's careful."

"He thinks you're a manipulative jackass," she replied bluntly. Then she smiled. "But then again, he's biased," she joked, and flipped open her menu. It was short, as there weren't many snacks sold, and it was mostly drinks. But she wasn't here for dinner; just coffee.

Itachi put his menu down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "He is very blunt, isn't he?" He was still smiling. "How does he describe Okaa-san?"

"Oh, he loves her, and the guys are  _always_  going on about her cooking." She grinned. "Though, I admit, there's a reason for it," she said, briefly remembering the first night she'd joined them for dinner.

"Hnn." Itachi laced his finger over his menu, then he blinked. "My apologies, I am distracting you. Please, choose your drink and then we can continue." He placed his menu back into the holder and leaned back in the chair.

She blinked. "Oh, yeah." She glanced back down at the menu, then replaced it and opened her mouth.

And, like magic, the waitress appeared again. "You guys ready to order?" she asked cheerfully, reaching up a hand to adjust one of  _four_  blond ponytails.

Sakura blinked. "Oh, yeah." Broken record, much? She smiled. "A mocha latte, with chocolate shavings and whipped cream."

The girl nodded and looked pointedly at Itachi. "You?"

"Large Americano. Black." This time, Itachi took the time to actually look at the waitress. "Are you related to Gaara?"

She blinked, then grinned more brightly, and less politely. "Oooh! You know my baby bro? That's pretty awesome!"

Sakura quirked a brow at Itachi. "Who's Gaara?"

The blond cast a glance at Sakura, and shrugged. "A loony little redhead with no eyebrows."

"No eyebrows?" Sakura's eyes were wide.

"Well, it looks it anyway. Actually, they're just really light, and unless you're  _really_  close, he looks like he shaves 'em off." She snickered.

Sakura looked at Itachi, both eyebrows raised this time.

"He seems to have inherited only his eyebrows from his parents," Itachi said blandly referring to the blonde's ponytails. Sakura's expression remained and he relented, answering the silent question. "Her brother frequents the same pet shop that Kisame works. Apparently, Naruto did them both a service by finding white sand."

"White sand?" she echoed, brow furrowed. Then it cleared. "Oh.  _That_." She rolled her eyes.

The blonde—Temari, by her name-tag—smiled in amusement. "Alright, I'll go get you guys your drinks; it was nice meeting you!"

"Uh, you too," Sakura said, and shrugged as the blonde left. "Okay then. That was... interesting."

"Hnn." Itachi smiled. "You may be seeing more of her in the future." He gestured after their departing waitress. "Gaara was asking where Kisame found the sand, which leads back to Naruto." When blue boy had brought up Gaara's interest over a poker game, Kazuku had shown interest. The concept of selling sand was apparently an appealing one.

He shook his head. "That is beside the point though," he said and leaned forward again. "Why didn't you let me pick you up from home? You wouldn't have had to wait for me alone."

Sakura quirked a brow at him, and shrugged. "Is that  _really_  totally important?" she asked in return. "I mean, really? You guys keep asking me these questions like my trust of you is in jeopardy. It's really annoying; can't a girl do anything without someone questioning her?" She stopped, and sighed. "No, sorry, that was rude."

He let his own eyebrows rise. "I asked because I was under the impression that perhaps you just hung around me for the car," he teased. "You coming here alone completely disproved that theory."

The pink-haired girl sat back in her chair and offered him an apologetic half-smile. She lifted a hand, idly tugging at a jaw-length lock of hair. "I didn't mean to snap at you; I guess I'm just a  _little_  fed up with everyone around me getting  _so_  interested in  _meddling_  in who I do or don't date! Did you know they did a  _conference call_  to bitch at me earlier for agreeing to come here?"

Itachi smiled. "A conference call? Really, Sasuke." He shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Oooh, the car," she gasped, smacking her forehead with the palm of her hand. "I coulda rode in it; dammit, Saku, what were you thinking?" She shook her head, and laughed sheepishly. "And I'm totally not going out with you for your car; it didn't even cross my mind."

Itachi gave her a flat look. "It should have," he said in a slightly injured tone.

She suddenly leaned forward, so fast that anyone else would have jumped, and smacked the palm of her hand on the table. She was smiling slightly, but it was akin to the smiles Kisame would give to people he was very displeased with. "I'm not that shallow," she said lightly. "And even if your car is amazing—" read; orgasmically epic "—I will not, ever, use you for your car. And, Itachi-kun, I expect the same thing from you, not that you've given me reason to think you would. Deal?"

He flashed a grin as fierce as hers. "Deal." He tilted his head for a moment and quirked a brow. "Can I still use car rides as bribes?" He held up his hands in placation. "Not in a way to govern where you go or how. Only because I would like to spend those extra minutes traveling with someone who understands the vehicle and thoroughly appreciates it."

She narrowed her eyes, going serious. "No." Then, she cracked a grin and sat up. "Only kidding. As if I could resist."

It was that moment that the waitress—what's-her-name-Temari—reappeared. She had amazing timing. Or maybe she was like creepy stalkerish. Either way, the girl was spot on. She set their drinks before them, quirked a brow at the atmosphere, and left again.

"Good. So I have learned something of you," Itachi said with satisfaction. "What would you like to know about me?"

She contemplated that a beat. "Hm... Oh! Music. What do you listen to?" she asked, sitting back in her chair again.

"Hnn." He sipped his coffee. "For the most part rock, a good selection of metal..." Tilting his head, Itachi let his eyes follow the waves of her hair. "Kazuku works as a bouncer at the Red Room. So I tend to frequent that club. That may explain my musical tastes, or be the result of them," he mused.

"Red Room?" she asked, blinking, before remembering the crowd he frequented. "Ooh. So they play rock and all there, then," she surmised, and nodded. "Naruto used to joke about starting a band when we were younger; I think he may have mentioned the Red Room around that time... Is it really old? The club, I mean."

Itachi shrugged and held out a hand palm down, tilting it side to side. "The actual establishment has been around for fifteen years, though now they rent out nights to different organizers. Sometimes it's rock, sometimes death metal, other times 80's. It varies." He put down the hand. "What about yourself? What do you listen to?"

She smiled. "Ohh, I really like classical," she admitted. " _Especially_  string music. And maybe a little metal on the side," she added sheepishly. "I like the Gazette too... hm, would they classify as rock or heavier?"

He grinned. "Classical, metal and a fusion of rock and metal?" His smile warmed. "Fantastic." The older boy held out his cup. "Now I know what to play while in the car with you. Cheers."

Sakura laughed and lifted her latte. "Cheers, then. You totally passed that test, by the way," she added, and smirked at the brief flash of semi-surprise that quickly vanished again.

"Really?" He put down his cup and steepled his fingers over the mug. "And the purpose for the testing is...?"

"I've found that if I can't stand the music a guy listens to, I generally can't stand him," she admitted, smiling slightly. "It's this weird thing about personalities and silence..." She waved her hand. "I had to beat rock into Sasuke." Her grin was sharp and amused.

Itachi winced. Oh, he remembered the earlier years. "It was you then," he said. "I owe you my thanks for sparing me another few years of Sasuke's obsession with American hip hop."

Her exaggerated shudder was answer enough. "I was like head over heels for your brother... 'til I heard that crap. Well, that and a few other things. When all was said and done, we were friends, and Naruto and I locked him in the closet with some rock band playing until he swore up and down he loved it."

Itachi smirked, and took a long drag from his cooling coffee. "What's your favourite place to go in this city? When you want solitude," he waved a hand at the coffee shop where he could still hear the clamour from the main floor, "and possible peace."

She threw her hands up and waved them around exaggeratedly. "I hardly get any!" she replied, then smirked. "But there's a manga shop down the road from Naruto's place that I like; he'd never check it 'cause it wouldn't make sense for me to be there." She chuckled.

Both eyebrows went up. "We would need to finish our drinks before entering a manga shop," he replied. The last time he had bought manga was over winter break, and he was behind on a few of his favourites. "My own quiet spot is actually out-of-town and should probably be another night's venture."

She smiled slightly. "We don't gotta leave, you know," she teased. "I was just saying. It's a nice place; and you asked."

"Hnn." Itachi glanced into his cup. Ugh. Cold. "Regardless, it appears my drink has died and gone cold. How is or was yours?"

"It's cold, but I don't mind cold coffee," she replied, and jumped slightly. She shifted to the side, pulling a cell from her back pocket, and glanced at the screen. "Uhg, hide me. Please," she said, looking up at him.

He blinked. Then he took off his black and red trench coat and held it out to her. Seeing her uncomprehending stare, he shrugged. "I can pay and then we can leave. Or you can hide in the girl's washroom." Itachi jerked a thumb over his shoulder to the small corridor behind him.

"How about I go hide in your  _car_  while you pay?" she suggested, and grinned in a way that said she much preferred this option. "Ino'll notice; and she's apparently friends with that blonde chick."

Chuckling, Itachi shook his head. "I may trust you, Sakura-san, but there is no way I am giving you the keys to Shiori." He put down a few dollar bills and pointed to a side door. "Staff exit. I know the shopkeeper. Let's go."

She pouted, but a quirky voice from downstairs, coming  _up_  the stairs, quickly decided for her. "OhgodsI'mgonnamurderher," she breathed in a rush, jerked her purse over her shoulder, snagged her jacket and bolted. "Here, have fun," she added over her shoulder. "I'll wait by the car."

As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Yamanaka Ino stepped through the door of the upstairs room, glancing around. She pouted, then spied Itachi. "Ooh, Itachi-sempai!" she said, perking considerably. "I  _knew_  it! Where's Sakura?"

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some may notice that Mikoto calls her son 'Itachi-san'. We have her do this on purpose as a verbal sign of respect, love, and support. We realize that it's not commonly done, but we like our quirks, and this happens to be one of them.
> 
> Cheers!


	6. Welcome to the Fold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t. Touch. The papers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is underage drinking in this fic. I'm not going to suggest all the teenagers go out and get a bottle (I hardly drink at all myself) but for the sake of atmosphere, it's in there.

When he finally stepped out of the cafe and away from Yamanaka, Itachi’s eyes immediately went for Shiori. Thankfully, the car was where he expected, as was the girl who’d left him for dead. Seeing Sakura leaning against the driver’s door and peering in at the dash, Itachi smiled and quietly stalked up behind her.

As he stood there, watching her admire his car, he admired her. She had foregone the use of her jacket, which was neatly folded on the hood and so he had an almost unobstructed view of her figure. Not bad at all, Itachi smirked. “I question my decision to know you, Sakura-san,” he drawled, “if it entails running into more blondes like Ino.”

She spun around, fingers automatically curling into a fist as if she was about to hit him. Then she dropped her arm and relaxed. “What the hell are you, a ninja? Don’t scare me like that!” she scolded.

“And you are obviously a civilian brawler,” Itachi returned. “And a cruel one.” He took out his keys and grinned. “Are you still so sure that Naruto will not be visiting this manga shop of yours?”

“Yes,” she agreed, brow furrowing. “How’d you know? About the fighting thing.”

“Your tells. Your body moved into position automatically: low center of balance, bent knees, and the tension that keeps the arms up, but the shoulders loose.” He unlocked the car and popped the locks. “However, I am unfamiliar with the form. Care to inform me while I drive?”

She smiled, and nodded. “Sure,” she said before circling the car and climbing in. Once she was buckled, she said, “I’m not sure about the type… It’s my, er, sensei’s family thing. My friend Lee taught me.”

“Hnn.” He turned the key and the engine purred to life. “Family taught fighting styles are always superior to the institutionalized diluted version they teach in the public dojos. I, myself, was taught by my father and mother.” He pulled up to the entrance of the parking lot. “Which way to the shop?”

“Left. You know martial arts?” she asked.

Itachi raised an eyebrow but didn’t look at her as he made the turn into traffic. “I would have thought it obvious. Sasuke is also instructed.”

She fell silent a beat. “No… I’m not very good at seeing it… and well… Sasuke never said as much,” she admitted, brow drawing down in thought. “I’m still learning, to be honest.”

He shook his head. “I did not mean to say that my experience would be obvious. Only that I assumed Sasuke had told you of his training.” Chuckling, Itachi half-turned to look at her. “I would be ashamed of my skill if I broadcasted my tells to the world. Fighters are taught to avoid tells that would be used to predict their imminent movements, but I was trained to avoid betraying my skills completely.”

“Oh, yeah?” she asked, and smirked. “So you _are_  a ninja.”

Itachi smirked. “I didn’t deny it.” He nodded at the road. “Navigator, keep on task.”

“Another left two lights down,” she said, with barely a glance, and then pouted out the window. “You have music, yeah? I hope so.”

He shifted gears and used the same hand to gesture at the glove box. “The CDs are in there. Help yourself.”

She flicked through the selection, lips pursed, and gasped. “Dear gods, you are the most interesting guy I’ve ever met,” she said, carefully retrieving an Emilie Autumn CD from the holder and slipping it into the player.

The first few notes thrummed through the car and he smiled.  _Ah, this one_. “Would you mind if I queue a song?” he murmured.

She waved dismissively. “Go ahead. It’s  _your_  car,” she pointed out, looking amused.

“I have been reminded twice tonight that you have a tendency to lash out when it comes to disappointment,” Itachi remarked as he reached over and tapped to buttons on the player. “And I am driving.”

Sakura blinked. “Disappointment? Really?” She thought back over the evening. Well, there was the whole shallow thing, but that was more irritation. Though it could be misconstrued, she supposed. And then with Ino… Oh. “Haha… Uh, sorry,” she said sheepishly. “Naruto says I have a bad temper; guess he’s right.”

He let a few measures of music stream by. “Yamanaka,” as if he had read her earlier thoughts, “had wanted me to give you something. Though, had I delivered, she swore you would kill me for it.” He tilted his head towards her. “Any guesses what she was implying? Oh, and am I right in assuming that if you do not give a direction, I follow the road?”

She didn’t seem to hear the end bit, her face darkening considerably. “That nosy, meddling little—” Then she caught herself and abruptly calmed. She sighed. “Um? Oh. Yeah, that’s right,” she said, reaching up to rub her nose. “ _Why_  are so many people intent on getting into my private life?” she grumbled rhetorically, more to herself than him.

The other teenager laughed. “I can’t claim immunity,” he admitted. “Dare I ask what she was proposing?” The song reached its end and he reached out, tapping the two buttons again.

She blinked, then turned a very interesting shade of red. “Knowing Ino… it probably had something to do with touchy-feely stuff,” she replied vaguely.

Itachi choked and snickered. “Forward isn’t she?” Remembering her body language, he shook his head. It was actually a measure of faithfulness to her friend that Yamanaka hadn’t  _verbally_ propositioned him.

The pink-haired girl groaned. “You have  _no idea_ ,” she replied vehemently. “Her favorite game in Junior High was ‘Kiss or Tell’.”

What had his favourite game been? Itachi silently mused. Unconsciously, he began to hum and mouth the lyrics of the song. “What was yours?” he asked, distracted. He was still sorting through memories.

“Eh, anything to deal with cards, and I HATED Kiss or Tell, ‘cause Ino always cheated.” She smiled. “Turn right up here, and it’s the third store on the block,” she added.

One eyebrow went up. Cards? But first… “How does one cheat in that game?”

Dark green eyes slanted toward him. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she replied suggestively.

“With a game where the likely players are most of my friends and their dates, yes I would like to know how to cheat. You’ve seen my friends. Would you like to kiss any of their dates? Or them for that matter?” Itachi muttered.

She actually considered that a moment. “Hm… no, not really,” she admitted. “Jashin’s a potty mouth, Kisame kind of scares me in a ‘what the fuck is he up to’ way, Deidara’s… pretty girly… and well… Kakuzu…” She gave him a Look.

“As for cheating… Once, she spiked our drinks with truth serum. Once, she prodded me with questions she  _knew_  I’d never answer around others… Hm… Oh! She got us drunk another time…” She tapped her chin as he pulled up, parking in front of the manga shop. “I think there was something about blackmail, thankfully not me… Ino’s ruthless. Like a shark smelling blood, she won’t give up until she’s sunk her teeth into whatever it is she’s after.”

Itachi cut the engine and sighed. “All her cheating ways, and it doesn’t help me in the least. Kiss and Tell happens to be Kisame’s favourite game.” He got out of the car and waited until Sakura had also exited, then thumbed the locking mechanism. “Kiss and Tell or Get Molested,” he added, answering her frown.

“Oh gods,” she muttered, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “He seems like the type, too,” she admitted. “Well, enough of that; I think I just saw my favorite person,” she said, eying a book in the window display. “And his name is Alucard.”

Watching the younger girl drift dreamily into the shop, Itachi eyed the book in the window. A very good series. Though, at volume five, events were only just starting to unfold. Her favourite person was another facet of Sakura’s personality, and he had yet to be disappointed by any angle.

Feeling rather satisfied with the world, the teenager followed his date into the store.

xXx

A soft  _crack_  was followed by the sound of something hitting the cement various times—or perhaps rolling is the better word. Three of the boys were crouched, rolling a handful of dice between them, and watching avidly.

The fourth—Deidara—was busy mumbling equations and shuffling through plans for his big show. He ignored the others.

“YES! TWENTY FIVE, BABY! PAY THE FUCK UP!” Hidan yelled victoriously.

Kisame and Kakuzu glowered at him in unison, shutting him up long enough for them to dig out their wallets and count out twenty-five dollars each. “Get run over by a car,” the latter hissed at his best friend.

“Bite me, bitch,” Hidan retorted, making a lewd gesture.

The taller teen grumbled, “Can we play poker now?”

Kakuzu straightened and glared at Kisame.

Shark-boy turned his back to Hidan and mouthed, ‘Quarter split.’

“Yes, poker,” Kakuzu said immediately.

“No fucking way,” Hidan retorted. “You think I’m a dumbass? Kakuzu doesn’t agree to poker unless he’s getting a shit load. I’d rather  _not_  fucking lose my money, thank you.” He then made a show of counting his earnings, leaning back against the front of the convenience store they stood in front of, run by Kakuzu’s uncle.

“Asshole,” Kisame retorted, and Kakuzu was back to scowling.

Hidan flipped him off.

“WHAT?! Oh, I can’t freaking… Fine then, un,” Deidara said, and scowled as he ruffled through his backpack.

Kisame blinked and glanced at him. “What’s your problem?”

“It’s gone, so I’ll have to re-do it, un,” the blond replied, barely realizing he’d answered, or indeed, even heard his friend in the first place.

Or perhaps he hadn’t.

A die went sailing through the air to plunk against Deidara’s ear. “What’s your problem?” Kisame repeated. He was rather proud of that shot.

Deidara straightened and rubbed his ear, looking up at Kisame. Then his eyes slanted beyond him, and with a strangled sound, he darted past, grabbing a piece of paper off the ground. “Yes! Oh, that was close, un!”

“Oh, just going on about his dumbass papers,” Hidan said, losing interest.

Looking around him, Kisame decided, Kiss and Tell would not be a practical game. Not that it ever was–but, the point was to kiss the girls and make the boys uncomfortable. No girls, no fun. He slouched. “Give me the goddamn dice,” he sighed.

“Eh, sure, but I’m bored,” Hidan said, rolling the dice across the sidewalk. He’d slid down the wall to sit there, rather than stand, and had stuffed his money in his pocket. “Where the hell’s Itachi? He was supposed to be here ten fucking minutes ago.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost five; that bitch.”

Kisame picked up the dice, then rolled them in his palm, considering their options. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket, flipped it open and thumbed a number. “We could go eat first. Party food sucks.”

“Hidan’s paying,” Kakuzu inserted snidely, and got the usual finger in response.

“You calling Itachi?” Deidara asked, distractedly. “He isn’t planning on bringing Shiori, is he? Drunks are stupid; they’ll do something to her, un.”

Hidan gave the blond a suspicious look. “… How the fuck do you do that?”

Deidara didn’t answer, scowled, and pulled out a pen to scribble on the paper he was holding. “That’ll be too big…”

A sudden grin lit up Kisame’s face. He hit dial and stood listening to the phone connect. “Yo!” he greeted as soon as his friend picked up.

“ _Kisame_ ,” Itachi replied.

Sharky tossed a die at Hidan’s collar and watched as it neatly tumbled down the back of the victim’s shirt. Crowing in victory, Kisame said into the phone, “Going for pizza; meet you at Dominoes on Katon and Suzuki.”

On the other side, Itachi nodded. “ _I’ve got Sakura. We’ll meet you there_.”

Kisame snickered. Seven words, huh? Seven dice went trickling, one by one, down the back of Hidan’s shirt despite the albino’s attempts at dodging. “See ya!” He hung up. That bitch could really move! It was probably a miracle that Hidan hadn’t tackled him into traffic yet.

… And he spoke too soon. Hidan lunged. “BITCH!!”

Deidara glanced up, then rummaged in his pocket, retrieving a set of keys. “Oi! Hidan!”

Mid-lunge, Hidan stopped and turned, face dark. “What the fuck do you want?”

“Can you drive? I need to finish these, un.”

Hidan brightened. “Fuck yeah!”

xXx

Draining dry the winner’s victory was well worth losing one’s stakes, Kisame mused. Even better, when it was Hidan.

Blue-boy sat back in the booth waiting for the grub to come and watched with a wide smirk. Hidan was griping to anyone who would listen; he wasn’t getting much sympathy though. Even his best friend Kakuzu was unmoved.

Considering that it was Kisame and Kakuzu that had ultimately funded the pizza run, they chose the pizzas. Kakuzu decided the number and sizes of the pizzas, while Kisame chose the toppings. Deidara had made a random comment that seemed to convey choices to him were irrelevant. Hidan hadn’t made any contributions other than to rant at the waitress.

Deidara suddenly looked up as someone approached behind him. He was jumpy like that most of the time, but with how distracted he was, it was only made worse. Sakura and Itachi slid into their seats at the end of a row containing Hidan only, with Kisame across from them in the middle (directly across from Itachi), Deidara on the outside and Kakuzu by the window.

Seated across from the blond, Sakura peered curiously over the table at the random assortment of various kinds of paper spread before him. It wasn’t hard; they took up about half the table. “What are you doing?”

“Art… well, preparing. Gotta be  _perfect_ , un,” he replied. He stopped writing on a pale blue sheet of paper and reached over to grab a lined piece in front of Itachi. After conferring between the two, he set the lined piece on top of a plain white printer sheet (covered in diagrams) and continued writing.

Sakura smiled slightly. “Math whiz, huh?”

“Only when it comes to things that go ‘boom’,” Kisame replied, and grinned. “Which reminds me—Miss Haruno, you haven’t ever caused a car crash, have you?”

Confused, the pink haired girl shook her head. “No… Why?”

Kisame leered at Itachi, then promptly said, “‘Cause baby, you are  _distracting_.”

Sakura gawked at the smirking teen across the table, then burst out laughing. Itachi’s eyebrows had swept upwards as he shook his head, while Hidan began to snicker.

“That was horrible!” the one girl at the table garbled out between gasps. “You’d be more of a distraction if you held that up on a cardboard plaque in the middle of traffic!”

“I try,” he quipped, still grinning. “You don’t mind meat lovers, right? Or plain cheese.”

Shaking her head, she attempted to contain her snickers. “No. That’s fine.” She stopped as a waitress asked for their drinks, then went on after the woman had left. “Anyway…” Her gaze was once again drawn to all the sketches, diagrams, lists and scrawled notes littering the paper. “Toji-kun? A–”

“Deidara,” he interrupted, and gave her a distracted glance. “Or Dei. Not Toji, un. Makes me sound like my Pop.” His hand flickered out to pick up a pile of index cards in front of her, making her jump.

“Oh. Well… alright, I suppose,” she said, brow furrowed. It was a little rude, but it would be more so to go against his wishes on the matter. “What are you doing, though? Specifically.”

“Calculating potency and blast times,” he replied, shuffling through the cards. “And stuff, un. It’s complicated.”

“Oh.” Blinking, she peered down at the top index card and the papers. She started noticing the scribbles depicting lists of materials ranging from chemicals to shells. Her eyes widened. There was a lot. “How to get all of this into the air?” she mused almost to herself.

Deidara blinked and Itachi snapped a sharp glance at the distracted girl. She had almost sounded like Dei in the shallow end of lucidity.

Stretching out a hand, the blond dragged a paper from in front of Kisame to rest under Sakura’s nose. Once she had focused on the new information, the artist went back to restlessly sketching and scrawling notes across a three-sheet spread.

Next to him, Kisame snorted, watching as Deidara went back to work—this time scratching out calculations and scribbling in corrections at a faster rate. Either he was just working faster or he was now more distracted than ever.

Deidara jerked suddenly and glared across the table where Itachi was moving to stack the papers to the side. “What are you doing, un?!”

The other teen leveled a cool look his way. “Dei… We are in a pizza parlour.”

“So?”

“What goes on the table here?”

The blond blinked.

Sakura, however, spoiled the moment by humming and turning a paper around to face Deidara. The same paper he had shown her previously. She tapped a finger on the launcher. “It reminds me of an engine,” she said plainly, arching a pale pink brow. “How old is this model?”

Blinking a few more times, Dei lowered his gaze to the paper. “Er…” He looked back up at her, and slowly grinned for the first time since the day before. “Three days, four hours and ten minutes,” he replied. “I built it this morning and brought it to the party site, un. It probably needs refurbishing eventually…” He tapped something that looked like it was set to just temporarily hold the powder. “But it’ll work for tonight, un.”

“That’s amazing,” Sakura admitted. Then she smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes. “Maybe I could help?”

Hidan and Kisame burst out laughing. “You really… know how ta… pick ‘em,” Kisame wheezed.

Sakura flushed slightly. “What? It’s not  _that_  funny,” she grumbled, and when the two only continued to laugh, she contemplated kicking them under the table.

Thankfully, Kakuzu sniffed and did so (to Hidan) for her. “Knock it off, ass-wipe.”

Kisame continued to snicker and Sakura narrowed her eyes. She crooked a finger at Deidara and as he leaned slightly over his diagrams, she pointed at the blue-skinned boy. “You get me the materials I need, and I’ll make custom pop-rocks that will dye him  _purple_ for a week.”

She had kept her voice down enough that Kisame didn’t hear, but Itachi had overheard and watched as Deidara’s lips split into a grin.

“Deal,” the blond agreed. “I’m almost finished, un,” he added, raising his voice and leaning back. He was speaking to Itachi. “I’ll clean up shortly.”

Suspicion pricked by the whispering, Kisame eyed them both, then shrugged it off. He could take them. “So anyway,” he said as the waitress returned with Itachi and Sakura’s drinks. “I hear tell that  _someone_  has a thing for Camaros…”

Immediately, Sakura beamed. “Oh hell yeah. I’m head over heels for Shiori.”

Hidan snorted and glanced at Itachi. “I still can’t believe you named your fuckin’ car.” He shook his head.

The comment was ignored. Instead Itachi watched, entranced, as Sakura took a breath and the Uchiha heir caught Kisame watching as well. She really didn’t realize what that did for her chest did she?

“Jashin-san, that is a really awesome car,” she said as she turned to glare at him. His eyes dropped. “And–” Stop. _Click_. “Hidan, my face is up here,” she growled.

Wine-colored eyes slowly lifted, as if he had a hard time dragging them away. “You have a fucking nice rack, though.”

Only the fact that Itachi sat between them saved his life. Silence descended, even Deidara was looking up with wide eyes. Kakuzu was smirking. And then…

Sakura smiled. “Why thank you! So glad my anatomy is appreciated.”

Mid-sip, Kisame choked on his Coke. Deidara blinked. Hidan grinned. Itachi sighed.

“About fucking time a woman has the right attitude!” Hidan gloated, lowering his gaze back down her front.

The girl gave him a cool look. Itachi didn’t bother. The black-eyed teen simply reached over, placed a hand on the back of the ogler’s head, and thunked the whole thing against the tabletop. Hard. Predictably, Hidan did not appreciate it.

Snorting once, Kisame lost the battle and grabbed his middle as he cackled, curling up into the booth seat. Deidara grunted in irritation and shifted over on the bench to avoid the bigger teen’s twitching frame. “Watch it, un! The paper almost ripped!” he snarled.

Sakura shook her head. “You should hurry up; you don’t want someone to spill something,” she suggested to the blond, as gently as she could.

He waved a hand. “ _Almost_ ,” he replied and shot one last scowl at Kisame before going back to what he was doing.

Smiling slightly, the pink-haired girl turned her attention to the least talkative member of the group. “Hello. I don’t think we’ve met before. At least, we’ve never talked.”

He quirked a brow and shrugged. “I’ll talk… if you pay me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right. So I’ve heard.”

At that point, Deidara started cleaning up, just as the pizzas were being brought over. Sakura helped him out, handing over the papers, then leaned back slightly as Itachi reached past her to grab two of the plastic dishes.

“Thank you,” he said softly and placed one in front of her.

Hidan reached out to grab a piece of pizza off the tray closest to him, only to nearly get Kakuzu’s fork in his hand. He yelped and jerked back his hand. “Oi! Fucking bastard! What the fuck is your problem.”

“That was my piece; as the biggest I have the choice,” the money monger retorted.

“Psychopath!”

Eying the antics across the table, Sakura prudently waited until the big teen had taken slices from several pizzas. Deidara hadn’t bothered to take a slice yet and he was still doing equations in the corner of one of the many papers. This one was white and nearly crumpled from all the handling.

She glanced at her date… Sakura blinked. Her _date_.

Attention caught, Itachi turned and stared as the pink-haired girl began to giggle hysterically into her plate, both fists firmly pressed against her lips.

“Oh dear gods,” she mumbled, willing herself to stop giggling. She managed to do so when she caught sight of his face, barely. “Sorry,” she mumbled. He tilted his head, and she curiously noted that he’d barely said anything since they’d arrived. But his meaning was clear, so she explained. “A week ago, Itachi-kun, I wouldn’t have looked at you twice.”

His head tilted down in a slight nod, but he flicked his eyes at the other teens who were still absorbed in grabbing slices of various pizzas.

Sakura hiccupped and looking into her lap, took a deep breath to steady herself. So, they wouldn’t be having this conversation here, she thought, smiling. Makes sense. Big bad boy didn’t want the guys knowing he wasn’t her first choice or on her radar at all.

She shrugged, snuck a look at him and froze.

Some kind of body cue must have communicated itself to him, because Itachi’s eyes snapped  _up_  to hers.

“Itachi-san,” Sakura ground out.

His eyebrows rose.  _Damn_. Itachi ruefully let a corner of his mouth quirk up and shrugged one shoulder. Oh, but she was a sight when she was pissed!

They stared each other. Sakura glaring and Itachi passively watching to see what she would do.

For a minute, Sakura did not move. In her head, she was raging about men. And then she was raging about men and boobs. And then she was—Oh, what the hell did it matter? She’d been  _down_  this road already. She sighed and rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, praying for patience, and said decisively, “We’ll talk later, Itachi-san.”

“OW! That fucking hurt!” Hidan yelped suddenly, drawing their attention (and most of the other patrons’). He had a tooth-pick lodged in his hand, and was carefully prying it loose. Despite his words, though, there was a look on his face that almost said that he  _really_ didn’t mind as much. And then, it was gone, and he was bitching again. “Fucking crazy asshole!” he said, and tossed the bloody toothpick at  _Deidara_ , of all people.

“Don’t. Touch. The papers,” the blond retorted, baring his teeth.

“I was just fucking looking! Psycho.”

“Zealot.”

“Looney.”

“Fanatic.”

“Ass.”

“Bite me.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay, okay, quit it,” Kisame said, shoving both boys back into their seats. “We don’t wanna watch; go get a hotel room,” he added with a grin.

Deidara jerked back, face paling and eyes widening. Hidan turned a furious red. Both boys drew in breath. “WHAT?!” they chorused.

“Shut up, both of you, before you get us kicked out,” Kakuzu said, glaring at the two. “If you do, I will make sure you regret it.”

Hidan leered, but Deidara gulped, shook his head and finally put his papers away. Sakura was quirking a brow at him when he glanced over. ‘A toothpick?’ she mouthed. He just shrugged.

“An artist sometimes has to improvise when he does not have his preferred materials,” he said quietly with dignity. “And there are dozens of them,” he added tapping the dispenser in the middle of the table.

Her mouth formed a perfect “O” and she sat back in her seat.

Itachi grunted and nodded to Deidara in respect, then nudged Sakura. “Pizza, Sakura-san.” She blinked at him. “It’s getting cold,” he reminded her.

“Ah, right!” she chirped, jumping forward in her seat and reaching out for the food.

He rolled his eyes and picked a few slices for himself.

They mostly fell silent (though Hidan kept muttering and occasionally licking the blood off his hand) for a while, and Sakura was relaxing again thankfully.

… and then there was another argument. Between Kakuzu and Hidan. About chicken. The rest of them, Sakura included, ignored it this time. Deidara looked distracted throughout the meal. As the argument between his friends changed direction, he jumped, the sound of Tweety Bird singing a song filling the air.

But no, it wasn’t  _exactly_  Tweety Bird, just a very good mock of him. Singing about grenades. Go figure.

Deidara answered his phone. “Moshimoshi. Hai. Mmm… Yeah. Uhhh… fuck.” He looked up at the group, nibbling on his lip. “One sec,” he said, and lowered the phone from his mouth. “Oi, Itachi, what’d you come here in?”

Across the table, Itachi quirked a brow. “Junk car.” The girl next to him pouted and he snorted. The four door sedan had been another junkyard find. Sturdy, but ugly as fuck and clunky, it suited the occasion.

Sakura had nearly walked straight back into her house when she saw him pull up in the dingy thing. He had just smirked and told her that the presentable pick up offer was Wednesday night. Her fault for denying it.

“‘Kay,” the blond said, and went back to his phone conversation. “Yeah. I can, un.” He paused, and glanced at Kisame questioningly. ‘Wanna go early?’ he mouthed. The blue boy shrugged. Sure.

“Alright, I’ll be there in a bit, un. Bye.” He flipped the phone closed and tucked it away. “Alright, Kisame and I are heading there early, un. Pein wants me to set up and then walk him through what I’m gonna do, so that’ll take a while. Don’t kill each other, un.” He got up, grabbed his bag, and waited only long enough for Kisame to scoot out of the booth before turning and walking off.

“Bye,” Kisame said, grinned, and added, “If you miss me, I’m only a call away.”

“Dick,” Hidan called after him.

Sakura turned back from watching the two guys walk out. Itachi had an almost painfully amused look on his face. “What?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he asked a question to the other two teens. “How did you two get here?”

The girl beside him frowned, and then it dawned on her. She looked back at Kakuzu with a bigger appreciation of his mass. If they all had to fit into the car…

Her heart sank. She glanced at Hidan and saw that he had probably reached the same conclusion: Kakuzu would be riding shot-gun.

The big teen answered Itachi while the boy with the bleeding hand wound leered at Sakura.

“It’ll cost you,” Kakuzu responded, and at Itachi’s look, he sneered. “Fine. I will admit that we have no ride to the party, and that’s it.”

“Hnn.” Eying the remaining slices, Itachi did some quick thinking. “Who is paying?”

Hidan opened his mouth. His best friend answered for him, “He is.”

“Fucker.”

Itachi shrugged. “Are we done?”

“Naaw. Shit, I could still eat another pizza,” the boy beside him answered, reaching for another slice.

“Hnn, what you cannot finish, will go into boxes, and they get stacked in your lap.”

“What the fuck?” Hidan pointed at the girl. “Why can’t she carry something?”

“She is.”

Sakura blinked at Itachi. She tapped his shoulder and when he turned from Hidan’s ranting to look at her, she mouthed, “I am?”

He answered her directly, not bother to look back at the albino. “We’re picking up alcohol from the store nearby. You’re making sure the stack in the middle doesn’t fall over.”

She snorted. “You don’t really need me…” Oh… OH. “‘Course, if we hit a speed bump and he gets buried under bottles, someone, somewhere, may cry.”

“Probably Kisame.” Itachi’s eyes  _did_  glitter.

She smiled wryly. “Wouldn’t want that.”

Hidan, realizing  _something_  was up, but not sure what, scowled at them. Then he stuffed half a pizza slice in his face. Kakuzu scoffed, but didn’t object; Hidan was not wasting money, after all.

Twenty five minutes later, they were all piling into the tiny car, Hidan bitching about having to hold the pizzas and Sakura deciding that she could forgive Itachi for staring at her boobs earlier; she really  _didn’t_  want to have to kill Hidan.

They had a lot of booze. At least from the outside it seemed that way. Boxes of brown bottles were stacked in black cardboard in between Hidan and her, nearly blocking the loudmouth from her sight. He was neatly, and literally, trapped between the upholstery of the seat and the boxes of food and drinks around him.

If they craned their necks, they could still see each other and unfortunately, just because he couldn’t comfortably reach her, it didn’t stop his voice.

“Fucking hell, Itachi.” Hidan scowled. “Why can’t this junk go in the fuckin’ trunk?”

“It’s stuck,” Kakuzu said. “We already tried.”

Wondering if that was the truth or not, Sakura decided not to ask. Kakuzu might charge her. “How far away is the party? You said it was at a lake, right, Itachi-kun?”

“Hnn, Kazuku?” Itachi passed the question on.

“Five bucks,” the other teen fired back.

“Two bottles.”

“Forty five minutes, Sakura-san.”

Sakura groaned, ignoring the amused banter between the two front-seat passengers. “Figures,” she grumbled.

xXx


	7. Variations on Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is there a stipulation against murdering him?”

They pulled into a large parking lot—normally used for beach-goers later in the season—and parked beside a big black Dodge truck. There was a railing in front of the vehicles, separating the parking lot from the beach itself, and a familiar figure sat on this.

Akasuna Sasori stood up as they climbed out of the car, and upon seeing their cargo, turned to hail Kisame, Tobi and Zetsu from a fire pit down on the beach. Konan glanced up from trying to start the fire, assessed the situation, and dismissed it. She wasn’t interested enough to watch.

Further away, Deidara and Pein were standing by a picnic table, going over Deidara’s papers. Also standing with them was an unfamiliar brown-haired boy, wearing a hoodie and possibly make-up. Or maybe face paint. Who knew.

Sakura shook her head and decided she’d look again later, then turned and pointedly took a box from Itachi. He gave her a tiny smirk, and let her take it.

With the whole work force—including the boy with the hoodie, as he’d hurried over the moment he realized what was going on—moving their assortment of alcohol and the leftover pizza, they easily finished in five minutes flat.

Itachi walked down to the fire pit and solemnly extracted two bottles of black glass from a red box. The labels flashed bronze in the light and, almost as if summoned, Kazuku materialized by his side. Itachi tilted the two bottles, admiring the smooth liquid barely seen through the smoky glass and calmly handed them over.

Kazuku did not quite snatch them out of his grip, but it was a bare difference. “Pleasure,” the big teen said, and walked away.

Sakura walked up to Itachi as he stooped down to pull another bottle from the box. “Is that the stuff from the back of the store?” she asked, curiosity biting.

He smirked. “Hnn, family brand.” He handed the bottle to her and watched as she peered at the label. “Think of it like Guinness.”

She made a face. “Ugh…” Handing it back quickly, she shuddered. “Like drinking liquid beef.”

He snorted. “Baby.”

“Hey!” She smacked him on the upper arm.

Itachi stilled, then blinked at her. One eyebrow slowly rose.

“I—” Sakura blushed. “Sorry. Bad temper remember?”

Instead of retorting, Itachi slipped the bottle back into the case. Then he turned to face her full on, stepping into her personal space. “I don’t mind the violence, Sakura-san.” Motioning to the teenagers around him, he continued. “You won’t be any more dangerous than the people I already deal with on a regular basis.”

She took a step back, but he followed her. In fact, when she stopped, he didn’t. Itachi crowded her and backed her away from the fire pit until they were no longer in its bright light.

His eyes didn’t glitter, so much as they gleamed, Sakura decided and nervously licked her lips. She watched those eyes narrow and focus on the seam of her mouth.

“You don’t have to hold back on me,” he went on in a low voice. “All you have to realize is that I will retaliate in kind.” Suddenly grinning, he shook a finger in front of her eyes. “No free hits.”

Sakura opened her mouth, then shut it. Then tried to speak again. “What, are you charging currency like a certain someone?” she tried to joke.

Itachi tilted his head and considered it. “There may be a certain amount of build up for an equally large amount of ‘currency’.”

“What does that mean exactly, Itachi-kun?”

His grin widened as his eyes narrowed. She swore his breath evened out and his stance changed, though she couldn’t pinpoint why or how.

“It means, Sakura-san, I will let you abuse me for a certain length of time without retaliation, until I decide to strike back.” He took a smooth step back. She bit back a gasp. Itachi didn’t just step back, he _glided_.

“Oh?” She rather missed his closeness. The way she could feel his breath on her cheeks.

“Hnn.” He quirked a brow. “Are you willing to accept those terms?”

Sakura gave him a measuring glance. “I can hit you… without guilt. You will—what—hit me back?!” That didn’t sound good. She hit  _hard_!

He smiled. “Do you hit in malice?”

“No,” she answered quickly.

“Then neither will I.”

This time it was Sakura to take a step back. “If I am to spend time with you. I will hit you… I have hit you. But that’s what I do.” She tilted her head and frowned at him. “You just want me to not feel guilty about it?”

“Precisely.”

Her hands fisted by her side and tugged her shirt hem. “Can I call a stop to it when I want to?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You may designate a safety word if you’d like.”

Sakura giggled suddenly and shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.” She smiled up at him, in a way relieved and hopeful. She didn’t think he’d be a push over and the idea of him lowering himself to her punching bag was laughable. “Alright. I agree.”

Itachi’s grin turned smug. “You agree that you do not have to hold back against me, and I will be free to return the treatment. In essence, an equal trade?”

She shrugged, ignoring the warning bells in her head. “Sure.”

The teen in front of her slowly eased lower. “Good,” he said, satisfaction warming his tones. “In that case, I should point out something.”

“Oh?”

“Equal exchange does not mean you are the only one to go on offensive, Sakura-chan.” A vibrant tension seeped into his frame. And Sakura’s heart beat kicked up.

“Ita—” She got that far and no further. Itachi-kun tackled her into the sand.

There was a sudden hoot from beyond them, and Sakura turned bright red. Itachi had pinned her to the ground, fingers around her wrists and thighs locked around her hips… when Kisame happened to draw close enough to see.

“Oh, boy! Shoulda brought my camera,” he said, very loudly.

Sakura’s expression darkened. “Is there a stipulation against murdering him?”

Itachi smirked down into her face. “Well… he’s useful…” he said, drawing it out thoughtfully. “But he’s also incredibly dangerous…”

She gave him a bland look.

“Are you guys going to do something, or am I wasting my time?” Sasori asked, wandering over after hearing Kisame’s shouting.

Sakura heaved a sigh. “Can you let me up? Please?”

The boy on top of her merely lifted a brow. “Make me.”

She blinked. Oh. Duh. “Well…” She shrugged, and took a moment to feel how he was holding her. Her brow furrowed. He was straddling too high for her to successfully roll them, and he had her hands. She was essentially trapped. Except…

“I’ve always wanted to try this,” she said, and twisted her wrist sharply, then slid it neatly from his grasp. Then she wrapped her arm around his, focused her weight lower, and _heaved_. He essentially rolled enough for her to stomp one foot down and further roll them to switch up their positions.

A couple others had moved to watch, curious.

Now she was on top of him, and he was moving his free arm. She rolled off, twisted her other wrist out of his grip, and surged to her feet. “Ha! That was so cool,” she said, grinning.

“Sakura-san!”

And the grin dropped.

There was a rush of bodies as a younger boy came bulling into the scene. Sakura opened her mouth to explain, but her breath whooshed out of her lungs as strong arms hauled her several feet away.

“Lee?!” she wheezed out. The tight band around her rib loosened and she was turned to face her friend. She’d have taken his head off right then if not for the priority of getting her breath back. “Wha—”

“Sakura-san! I have come to help! I do not know who brought you here—but a beautiful flower should not be harmed in any way!” The hands on her shoulders vibrated with tension. “I am sorry, Sakura-chan, that I was not here earlier to save you. However! I will punish he who would raise a hand at such a perfect example of femininity in the springtime of her life!”

_Breath not coming fast enough_! Sakura thought brokenly as Lee dropped his hands and spun on his heel to face her ‘attacker’. He called out, “Neji! Stand guard—for I go to defend my … friend!” And then he was off.

“Not—” She desperately pulled in a lung full of air and coughed hard. “Don’t—FUCK—don’t need…” Staggering, she fell against a chest that suddenly appeared in front of her. “Don’t!” She almost sobbed in furious frustration.

A sigh rumbled the chest she pressed against and she raised bleary eyes. “He’s already committed, Sakura-san,” an older, smoother, voice addressed her. “Don’t bother.”

Sakura managed to ease her coughing enough to reply. “That’s what I’m trying to tell him!”

Itachi had assessed the situation with ease, and when Lee  _flickered_  into view before him, he just as quickly ducked and skittered to the side. Lee wasted half a second in surprise, nodded and went after him again.

And dammit, this guy was  _fast_. Maybe even faster than Itachi. And he was very good at hand to hand. Itachi spent the first thirty seconds of the fight blocking, dodging and diverting the younger boy’s attacks.

He had heard Sakura swear, and frowned. His fist parried Lee’s. Lee was her friend—he glided smoothly to the left, ducking underneath the boy’s leg (barely)—and she was distressed. Meaning that she  _probably_  didn’t want them to get hurt. Either of them. He hoped.

Itachi stepped back, avoided Lee’s punch, caught his leg and spun him. The boy landed in the sand, and was half up again when Itachi’s foot snapped out, knocking him back down. He pressed said foot against the green-clad youth’s chest.

“Listen?” he queried.

“You attacked Sakura-san! That is unyouthful,” Lee retorted and knocked Itachi’s foot away. He surged back and up, in the flicker of half a second, and his fist was too close to Itachi’s face.

The Uchiha stepped back, letting the blow pass inches away, and he saw something pass through Lee’s expression, but it was too dark to tell what. This time, when Lee swung his fist again, he caught Itachi on the shoulder. Itachi lashed out in retaliation, the back of his fist hitting Lee  _hard_  on the jaw.

Lee stumbled, face clearly showing surprise, and then… stopped. “You did not fight back until I hit you,” he said, rubbing his jaw.

“Hnn.” Itachi took a step back, wary.

“I will listen.”

“LEE!” Sakura shrieked. Her breath was back. She charged up and grabbed his ear, jerking him around. “Rock Lee, I am going to murder you! How dare you attack my date!?”

Lee heard one thing, and one thing only. “Date?” he squeaked.

“YES! DATE!” she roared back at him, calming an infinitesimal bit when she saw how stunned he was. He stood there wide-eyed and shell-shocked.

Sakura sighed, and glanced over at Itachi who only shrugged. Her show then. She nodded; fine by her. She grabbed Lee’s hand and pulled him over to where Neji stood with Tenten.

Her friend stumbled after her, wondering why his world seemed to be crumbling like sand castles.

“Look,” Sakura said as she shoved Lee between the two other teenagers. Tenten automatically put an arm around Lee’s shoulders, while Neji settled on putting a hand on the nearest one. “I agreed to go on a date with Itachi. So far, it was going well.”

Lee opened his mouth; Sakura glared at him until he relented and shrunk back.

“Yes, he tackled me. Yes, I was surprised. But!” Sakura held up a finger in front of his nose and Lee’s eyes nearly crossed trying to focus on it. “I had agreed to it. And, I used the skills _you_ taught me, Lee. That’s how I won my way free.” Well, essentially she had agreed to it. Her friend’s eyes had stopped looking betrayed though. Now they looked bright and shiny, and proud.

“It was a friendly sparring— er, wrestling match,” she ended lamely.

There was a moment of peace, then Lee was launching himself out of the arms of his friends and onto Sakura. “You won the match! Against that opponent!” he congratulated her. “Using the skills I taught you! Truly you are an example that all—” Sakura slapped a hand over his mouth.

“I swear, Lee,” she jokingly groused. “Turn the volume down for once.”

He made an embarrassed face. Someone cleared their throat, and Pein stepped close enough for them to see. “Glad that was worked out. Any more fights, and I’ll be pissed. Now, we’re here to have a party, right? So let’s have a god-damned party.”

Lee beamed. “Right you are, Akatsuki-san!” he chirped, and gave Sakura the same smile. “Well… I suppose I must leave you to your companions, as I have worked up an appetite! I also wish for you to come to the dojo Sunday, if you can.”

She nodded, relieved. “Absolutely.”  _Good_. He was  _leaving_. She loved him to death—like a friend—but he was  _damn nosy_. Waving, she said, “We’ll talk later.”

“Yes!” he agreed and turned to drag his two companions off toward three tables piled with snack foods and booze.

A hand fell on her shoulder, much as a boulder would fall on a bear. “Well, well. Your life is interesting,” Kisame teased.

She turned and tossed him a look. “Thanks,” she said blandly.

“Not that I’d  _want_  your life; but it is interesting. You should write a book.”

She rolled her eyes. Looking past the blue guy, she spied Itachi by the fire pit, lounging on the sand, open bottle in hand. Speaking of those… Where was Kazuku? Or Hidan?

“Hey, Kisame-kun?”

The older boy nearly choked on his own beer. ‘ _Kun_ ’? “Ye-ah?”

The young girl turned on her heel, surveying the dark beach. “Where’s Hidan?”

“Oh, he’s around somewhere.” He waved a hand vaguely up the beach. “Probably helping Deidara.”

Sakura snorted, remembering Deidara’s possessive and protective behaviour at the table. “Not bloody likely.”

This time Kisame was the one to roll his eyes. “You’re just snarky because you got interrupted.” He pushed her towards the fire. “By all means, continue.”

The pink-haired girl gave him a scowl, but nonetheless headed over to Itachi and plopped down in the sand beside him. “I’m really sorry about Lee,” she said. “I did  _not_  know he was going to be here.”

“Hnn.”

She gave him a narrowed-eyed look. “Are you gonna go all ‘silent ninja guy’ on me now? It’s  _not_  my fault,” she said, annoyed. “I did  _not_  tell him to do that, and if you’re thinking that there’s anything between us, while he is a good guy, and we’ve been friends for a while, that’s  _never gonna happen_ ,” she ranted. “And he won’t get it through his  _thick skull_. He’s just so  _dense_  about it and—”

The sudden hissing sound of a bottle depressurizing cut her off, and she glared as Itachi let the cap tumble off into the sand. He lifted an eyebrow, and looked at the bottle, then back at her. Silently, he extended his arm until the freshly opened bottle hovered below her nose.

“Alcohol is not going to…” The bottle waved under her nose and a tantalizing scent came wafting out of the opening. Sakura took a sniff. Chocolate?! She blinked.

Itachi smirked as he watched cautious fingers slowly wrap around the base of the bottle. He let his fingers unwrap one by one, until Sakura held the bottle steady by herself.

He waited until she carefully took a sip of the homemade brew until speaking. “Stressed much?” he said lightly.

She mocked glared at him, but raised the bottle to her lips once more. She took a pull at the liquid and lowered it to mumble something into the glass.

Itachi grinned wider. “What was that?”

“Good stuff,” she muttered out the side of her mouth.

He gave her a smug look. “Yes, it is,” he replied.

Sakura chuckled. “Oh, jeez. I should just forget about it and have fun,” she decided. “You know…” She stopped, frowned. “Oh, never mind. That’s just dumb.”

“Hnn.” Itachi tilted his head and quirked a brow. “Spill.”

“Um…” She shifted, and shrugged. “Well… Uh…” She stared down at the drink, and coughed lightly. “Well, I just had this thought, is all. About these…  _people_.”

Both his eyebrows were up now. “You’ll have to elaborate on that, Sakura-san.”

She grinned. “Well, I just thought that they all seem pretty nuts. Where does that leave you?”

“Oh, just as nuts probably.” Itachi pulled another bottle from the case and popped the cap. “The question you should be focusing on is this: all these people are nuts, including me. However, you’re the one to agree to date one of them.” He smirked, bringing the bottle to his lips. “Where does that leave you?” he echoed the question back to her and took a sip.

“Oh, I’ve been off my rocker for years,” she replied with a dismissive tone, and took a drink from the bottle in her hand. She lowered it and stared into the fire. “Hm… But… your friends are totally insane. Especially Deidara and Hidan.”

“Perhaps I’m used to them,” Itachi mused. “How are they insane to you? You seemed to be fine with Dei earlier, and Hidan, well…” he trailed off, then shrugged.

“Hidan looked close to an orgasm after being stabbed with a toothpick,” she deadpanned, slanting an amused look his way. “And Deidara was the one that stabbed him. With a toothpick. In the middle of a restaurant.” When he continued to look unworried, she shook her head. “That doesn’t happen often, in normal society.”

Itachi hummed and took another swallow. He held up a finger. “One is a masochist. The other is an artist.” He knocked his bottle into hers, reminding her to appreciate it. “And finally, there is no such thing as normal.”

“You know what I mean,” she retorted, and obediently took a sip. “They’re strange, and Hidan is a pervert—Oh, that reminds me!” She straightened and slid her hand into her back pocket, pulling out a phone. As if on cue, it went off. She ignored the call and turned it off. “Nosy blondes…”

He ignored the phone and focused on her instead. “I know what you mean, but you don’t understand what I am saying.” He rolled onto his side and stretched out along the sand, his lips barely a foot away from her own. “You say they are insane. However, you have chosen to spend your time here. With us. With me. And for the most part, you are matching us, stride for stride.”

The older teen rolled on to his stomach and planted his bottle in the sand by his elbows. “Why define them as insane, when you get along with them so well?” He laced his fingers in front of chin and watched her expressions. “Your normal is the blonde you just ignored.”

She blinked and looked down at the phone in her hand. “Aa…” But he’d inadvertently pointed out something else to her. She bit her lip, and looked up into the fire while putting her phone back. The light flickered in her eyes. “You’re right.” Of course. She looked at him.

Abruptly, she climbed to her feet and turned to face him. She smiled. “Itachi-kun, let me ask you something, if I could?”

Oh, now that was an interesting smile, Itachi thought. From his stomach, he rolled on to his back and half sat up. “Am I going to regret letting you?” he countered.

Her smile deepened, and there was something almost teasing about it. “Maaayybeee,” she said sweetly, drawing the word out. When his eyes narrowed, she tried to contain her glee.

Itachi was abruptly reminded of Okaa-san. Careful of the bottle, he rose to his feet in one long smooth move. “Ask,” he challenged.

“Itaaachhiii… Can you run  _really_  fast?”

And, abruptly, a pail of water was dumped on him from behind. Sakura burst out laughing, and squeaked, “Now run!” She cackled and darted off toward the lake.

His mind went white numb in shock, the only phrase booming through his mind, ‘What the fuck?’ He shivered once and turned around to the mad giggling of Tobi. The lunatic was standing there, unabashedly dangling a tin bucket from one hand, holding his sides.

Slicking his straggling hair back from his eyes, Itachi eyed the quickly distancing white halter-top that Sakura wore.

“You, I’ll deal with later,” Itachi muttered at hooting boy.

Stripping off the sodden jacket, he strode off. This girl wanted to play? He’d play.

Sakura was giggling softly when she glanced behind her. She drew to a stop. It was so damn dark, and that man always wore black… and anyway, he was no longer near the fire. Carefully, eyes narrowed, she backed up, eyes darting around. She glanced above. No moon; it would  _figure_.

Pursing her lips, she took another step back, the soft sloshing of the water in the lake the only close sound. There was music from somewhere, muted conversation, laughter (mostly from Tobi, whom was still giggling by the fire like a loon)… but nothing from her date. Oh dear.

Briefly, she wondered if she’d made him mad. Then she decided she didn’t care. If he got mad over  _water_  (or she hoped it’d been water…) then… well… She shook her head and glanced around again. Nothing.

Then a very faint shift of the sand. She whirled to her right. Nothing. “Itachi-kun?” she said, squinting slightly. Another shift, and she spun around. Again, nothing.

Itachi watched through wet strands of hair as Sakura twisted one way then the other on the beach. As dark as it was, his precautions were probably unnecessary, but every artist had their own style. He eased closer, soft and subtle as the calm waves around him.

As Sakura wandered further along the shore, she nearly came feet away from where he lay submerged. The edges of the lake ended on a rock bed, the soft sand making the stone ledges a hazard. But the girl wouldn’t know that. And Itachi stayed close.

Itachi rolled his eyes at his situation. Sitting in the cool water, watching a young teenage girl wander up and down the beach, scaring herself into seeing things. Drawing this out would be pointless.

_Besides_ , he grinned, _she’s wearing a white top to a beach party_. It was obvious where this was going.

Sakura heaved a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “Itachi-san, I  _know_  you’re not just going to let that go. Where the hell are you?” she demanded.

He barely restrained himself from laughing. _Right under you_.

Reaching up, he slapped a hand around her ankle, tripping her backwards and _away_ from the ledge. She shrieked and went down flailing.

He grunted as a foot connected with the side of his head, but caught it the second time as he rose out of the water. “You wanted to know where I was?” Itachi smirked as he grabbed the other foot going in for his midsection and wrangled her legs into the crook of one arm.

“I’ll let you know where I was,” Itachi ground out.

Firmly turning over the limbs he held, the older teen flipped Sakura over onto her stomach, ignoring her hollers. He pivoted in place and grinned, facing the water again.

“In fact, Sakura-chan. I think you’ll enjoy experiencing it,” Itachi said with finality. And walked, arm full of legs and all, back into the water.

Sakura made one last shriek before she was plunged into the water.

xXx


	8. Kiss or Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So _basically_ … all we gotta do for free live porn is have Itachi fucking strip, yeah?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss or Tell, Kisame style.  
> We had way too much fun with this...

About ten minutes later, they were both seated as close as they could safely be to the fire, a blanket from Deidara’s truck draped over their shoulders. Sakura was nibbling on a donut, trying not to grin, and Itachi was just watching her.

He wasn’t trying to hide it. He’d already pointed out her shirt problem (she’d started yelling at him), and provided the blanket via Deidara.

Now that the anger was mostly gone, she appeared to find it hilarious, much in the same way Kisame, seated across the fire next to Tobi and Sasori, did. He kept snickering. So did Tobi. Sasori looked bored.

Smirking, Itachi leaned into Sakura and stole her new beer bottle. She was definitely worth bringing to the party.

When Itachi and Sakura had hauled their asses out from the water nearest to the fire pit, Itachi was sure that Lee had passed out from blood loss. From the shore, Itachi had taken two steps, seen Lee faint, and turned Sakura around by the shoulders. Sakura’s shirt had clung to the skin and did nothing to conceal. He was sure his grin had near split his face in two.

The girl had tiredly slapped at his hands, asking what his problem was. She only realized what was happening when the smug teen had told her, that no, it wasn’t a problem. And that it was all hers.

Sakura gave him a glare. “Hey,” she protested. “Thief.”

“This is the best party  _ever_ ,” Kisame proclaimed. “In fact… we should get everyone together for a game or two…”

Tobi perked at this. “Yes! And Tobi will get them, since Tobi is a good boy!” He surged to his feet and darted away before anyone could stop him.

Kisame grinned and rubbed his hands together, staring across the fire. Very carefully, he didn’t look  _down_ … when Sakura was glancing his way. “We should play Kiss or Tell,” he announced, just as Pein came over curiously.

“Oh gods,” Sakura groaned. She shot Itachi a Look, one of those ‘ _I didn’t believe you, but now I do_ ’ ones.

Kisame winked at her. Pein quirked a brow. “We’re a little old for that…”

“Afraid someone’ll kiss your girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Chicken.” Kisame leered at Konan, whose eyes narrowed.

“Play,” she growled to Pein.

He blinked, turning to look at her. “What? But—”

“Play.”

“But—”

“ _Play_.”

He stared at her in shock, then sighed. “Oh gods.”

Sakura burst into hysterical giggles. “This is so dumb,” she said, watching as the last few arrived. Tobi, Deidara and Neji. Deidara was being dragged.

Lee, who had overheard, perked. “Yosh! This is surely a trial of YOUTH!” he cried, glancing in Sakura’s direction.

She knew that look.

Pein heaved a sigh. “Fine, fine. It’s not like we have any reason not to, and it’s a lot less dangerous than the show planned for later.” He glanced at Konan. “Mostly.”

As people sat down around her, Sakura saw Tenten’s eyebrows shoot up and her mouth fall open. Neji calmly reached over and lifted it shut for her. Oh right.

“Itachi-kun,” Sakura hissed into his ear. Interestingly, she noticed a slight tremor go through his shoulders when she did that. “I need a better shirt.”

Her date twisted around under the blanket and gave her an arch look. “Hnn,” he replied. She glared back at him.

He shrugged, and moved out from under the blanket. Then he smoothly peeled the black shirt off his chest and down his long arms. Sakura’s jaw dropped.  _Holy mother fregggitpbbbtt~*…_

It took her a moment to acknowledge the shirt that hung before her eyes. Even then, she numbly pushed the obstruction aside to clear her view of pale skin, stretched over lean muscle. Her brain rolled over and took it all in.  _Hey_ , she thought muzzily,  _I’ve missed those pectorals_.

“…”

She blinked. “Huh?”

“Sakura-chan…”

Her eyes glided over the hips lines she had been visually licking, and slid their way up the grooves of the abs, over the adored pecs and bumped up the collarbone to roll up over his chin and into his eyes.

“Itachi?”

He shook his head and dropped down to his haunches in front of her. “Sakura-chan,” he repeated. “You’ve dropped the blanket.”

“Blanket?” she repeated dumbly, blinking at him.

“Can I touch it?” came Tobi’s mesmerized voice.

Touch? Touch what? …wait… Slowly, she looked down at herself. Oh, yeah. “Oh,” she said faintly.

“Sakura-chan,” Itachi said patiently, fighting a smirk. He dangled the shirt in front of her again, catching her attention. “Put this on, would you?”

She nodded like a little girl being instructed what she should do, and took the shirt. Obediently, she slipped it on. Her eyes were glued to his chest again.

“Damn,” came a familiar voice, snapping her out of her trance abruptly.

Her head whipped around, and she realized how  _very_  close Hidan was. Emerald eyes widened, then narrowed. “What.”

Hidan was unconcerned. “Was just enjoying the view… like everyone else. You too, apparently.”

She felt a familiar heat burn her face. “Oh.” Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, don’t look, don’t look, don’t  _look_ … She looked.

The muscles were still there. And gleaming. Fire light did that. They looked so warm. And smooth. It was even better when they moved. How wonderful it was that they moved on their own! It was like watching silk slide over… over… more muscles.

And they felt warm! And they were smooth–and soft and firm at the same time. And when they shifted… Sakura felt a rumble in her throat and blinked her eyes open. Did she just purr? She looked down. Her hands were warm… and–and her fingers had half curled around the smooth contours of Itachi’s pectorals. _Geyaah_!

Abruptly, she leaned down and picked the blanket back up, thrusting it out. Her face felt like a volcano, and she was  _no longer cold, **damnit**_. “Itachi-kun, please wear the blanket,” she said, all in a rushed monotone.

He was smirking, and grabbed her hand slowly, over the blanket. “But you looked like you were having fun,” he commented. “I wouldn’t want to—”

“Blanket. Wear it. Please.” She repeated, not looking at him.

Chuckling, he threw the blanket around his own shoulders and pulled it closed. “Very well.”

“Well, that was fun,” Kisame said instantly. “Game? C’mon, show’s over guys.”

Tobi pouted. “Damn.”

“Good boy, my ass,” Hidan added. Then he smirked. “So  _basically_ … all we gotta do for free live porn is have Itachi fucking strip, yeah?”

Kisame snickered. Tobi brightened. “Itachi-san?”

The Uchiha, cautiously curious, looked at the other male. “Yes, Tobi-san?”

“Take off your pants.”

Sakura gasped. “Oh, hell no!”

Pein decked him. “Stop being a dick.”

Tobi giggled but subsided. Kisame rolled his eyes, saved the incident to his mental file, and moved on. “Who doesn’t know the rules?”

“Rules for what?” asked the hoodie-wearing boy from earlier. Beside him was a familiar blonde that had arrived just ten minutes ago, and was glancing at Itachi with raised brows.

“Kiss or Tell,” Kisame clarified. A few moments of murmurs passed and he clapped his hands. “Great! Who wants to go first?”

About five hands went up. He surveyed the volunteers and snickered.

He pointed at Tobi. “No.” That hand went down, slowly and sadly.

He pointed at Hidan, “Are you an idiot? No.” The albino’s hand lifted into a one-finger salute and then dropped.

He pointed at the guy in the hoodie, “Really? Really?! Put your fucking hand down.” That hand went down with a gust of hearty laughter.

Kisame blinked at the dainty hand raised. He looked at the owner of said hand. She glared at him. “Uh… no,” shark boy said slowly. It almost sounded like a plea. “Maybe later, Konan?”

She scowled, but dropped her hand into her lap.

The last hand raised was—Kisame grinned, relieved. He could keep his skin. For now. “Pein-san! Go ahead!”

Pein nodded and surveyed them all suspiciously before abruptly turning to his girlfriend. They glared at each other for a moment. “Are you  _really_  planning on hitting on her?”

“Yes.”

A beat passed. He sighed. “I feel like a parent.”

“Shut up and kiss me, dick,” she retorted.

“You answered.”

“So? Kiss me, or else.”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled, and obeyed.

Kisame coughed when it started to get a little too steamy (Sakura was really red over there, too…) “Uh… guys? Game?”

Konan shoved her boyfriend away. “Game.”

“Right—Next!” Kisame grinned. Having Itachi drenched had a great effect on Sakura, but maybe they should have drenched Sakura first. Gleefully, he glanced around the circle again. A few new hands went up, but many of the previous ones had returned.

“Fuck, you guys! Give her ten minutes already!” He laughed. The hands from before lowered in a show of mutters. Kisame took in the leftovers.

“Neji-san.” Kisame pointed and smirked.

Neji spun to face Tenten. “You were staring at him.”

“Is  _that_  your question?” she retorted.

“Yes.”

“Uh huh. Doesn’t sound like one.”

His eyes narrowed on her. “You’re not going to answer?”

“Nope,” she replied simply.

Those eyes narrowed further. He sighed, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He wasn’t one to let them watch.

“Oh, that was so lame,” Kisame said, and took note of Sakura’s expression.

She was smiling. It was one of those ‘ _aww, that’s so sweet!_ ’ smiles that girls had.

Neji glared at the blue boy. “I will gladly kiss her again… when you’re far away.”

“At this rate, all the couples will split into separate camps,” Kisame muttered, “one for hedonistic beliefs and the other for the cock-blocked parties that got dumped.”

The latest volunteer sniffed and settled back into the sand.

Kisame stood. “Next!” he barked out.  _Drill sergeant eat your heart out!_ he cackled. Hands went up.

“Huh.” Kisame tilted his head and shrugged. “Tenten.”

She grinned, and shrugged at her boyfriend. “Sorry Neji, but I’m curious!” she said and picked her way around the fire to stand right before Uchiha Itachi. She didn’t notice the pink-haired girl to his left narrow her eyes.

“Itachi-san!” she greeted. She paused, eying him up and down, and thinking. “I heard this rumor…” Her eyes darted to Sakura. “And, obviously, some of it at least is true. The  _rumor_ states that big bad much sought after Uchiha Itachi’s got his eye on a girl… and is playing for keeps. Is this true?”

The male arched a brow and cut his eyes at Sakura as she gave a little squeak. She didn’t do anything else, so he returned his gaze to the questioner. “Hnn, yes.”

She tilted her head, and nodded. “Okay. Thanks for answering.” She smiled, gave him a little wave and walked back over to sit with her boyfriend.

The majority of the rest of the group’s hands went up.

Kisame stood up. “Well. Fuck.” He turned to grin at Sakura. He watched as her face went pale, then red, then pale again. Her eyes just couldn’t get any huger could they? “Screw you guys. I’m asking.”

He took the two steps to reach Sakura and crouched down. She looked up at him with a determined glare, but she didn’t flinch back nor did she hide into Itachi’s side. Kisame softened his grin to a smile.

“Kiss or Tell, chickie. Here’s what I want to know.” He looked her in the eye. “Are you ready to take Uchiha Itachi-san seriously as a boyfriend with intentions?”

Her expression froze. A  _boyfriend_? And her face paled. And oh  _gods_ , that was… way too fast. Could she admit that? Could she tell an entire group of people that,  _no_ , she wasn’t ready? Not for anyone?

She could  _feel_  their gazes on her, but she couldn’t answer this question callously. That wouldn’t be nice, and… Sakura shook her head. “No.” She didn’t look at Itachi. “Really, as much as I enjoy hanging out with him, I’m  _not_  going to rush into anything like that.”  _Again…_

Shark boy smirked and rocked back on his heels. “Thank you for answering, Sakura-san.” He rose up to his full height and nodded to Itachi. His friend rolled his eyes.  _Yeah, I may be an idiot, ‘tachi, but you gotta admit. You wanted to know too_.

Sakura’s answer had not been a surprise. It was the right one though. Kisame hummed as he returned to his seat. “Next!”

He had figured that once the biggest gossip generator had run its course, the numbers would go down. Not so.

“Holy shit. You people are piranhas.” Kisame walked around the circle, knocking hands aside and down.

He sighed and stared up at the stars and allowed fate to dictate. He grabbed a random hand and pulled. “You!” He looked down. “Oh, hey. Yeah okay. Go for it Temari.”

Temari smirked and looked around the circle. She eyed Hidan, then Itachi, and then Sasori. “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe.” Her finger pointed at Hidan.

“Oooh, baby.” She walked over and stood before him, and they were easily the same height. “You’re not gonna answer anything I say, are ya?”

“No shit, Sherlock,” he replied, and grinned.

“Really?” she asked cockily, taking a step forward to bring her mere inches away.

“Really.”

“Good!” She winked and jerked him into a kiss. This was  _not_  the polite waitress from the Tea Shop. And that was  _not_  the sort of kiss polite waitresses indulged in.

Sakura looked like she was going to faint, and Lee was cooing about spring.

After several seconds of tongue twister, Kisame rolled his eyes. He grabbed Itachi’s soggy jacket and flung it at them. “Moving along!”

Temari broke off with a delighted giggle and wriggled her hips. Hidan had slipped his arms around her waist and slid greedy hands down her posterior, firmly bringing her hips snug to his.

“You need to let go,” she reminded him and wriggled again. Hidan groaned and his fingers just gripped harder.

“Don’t wanna… fuck,” he ground out from where he had buried his face in her neck.

She snickered. “Oh, so you don’t want to fuck?” She twisted out of his arms and Hidan staggered a step forward blinking.

“Fu–What? YES!” He gasped out in a rush.

“Too late!” Temari sang out as she skipped across the circle to her seat.

Kisame picked up Uchiha’s sodden jacket from the sand as he walked over to the abandoned Jashin. He draped an arm around Hidan’s shoulders and sighed. “That was sad, man. Anyone ever tell you to watch your mouth?”

“FUCKING HELL!” Hidan burst out. “You!” He shook a fist, and a finger, at the smirking girl.

Sharky firmly steered him towards his seat. “Aw, sit down you idiot.” He slapped the jacket to the albino’s chest. “Cover up man. You’re showing wood.”

“She—then,” Hidan trailed off whimpering. “Motherfucker…”

Shaking his head, Kisame looked over at Temari who was grinning full out. The hoodie guy next to her was clutching his sides and dabbing at his eyes with the edge of the hood.

“Oi, Tem. Knock your brother out before he cracks a rib will ya?”

The girl nodded and slapped the teen upside the head. “Yow!”

“Anyway. Next.”

Kisame watched as the hands sprung up again. Randomly, he spun on his heel and, after a few rotations, he stopped to face Deidara. Who had his hand up. Sharky’s lips quirked. _Well sure_. “Dei. Go!”

The blond grinned and turned to face Sakura, without getting up. “Where’d you learn that stuff you mentioned at the pizza place?”

The pink haired girl blinked a few times. Then she relaxed and smiled, glad it wasn’t _another_  loaded question. “My dad,” she replied. “He runs a repair shop, and we talk about stuff when I visit.”

The blond nodded. “Okay.”

Tall, blue, and unimpressed, snorted. “Dei?”

“What, un?”

“Just to let you know,” Kisame glared at him, “your question sucked.”

“Sit on it and spin, un.”

Laughing, the other teen turned and yelled, “Next!”

 _Hands, hands and more hands_ , Kisame mused. He stood in the circle and slowly looked around.

Hard eyes caught his attention and the big boy stopped to quirk an eyebrow at her. “Sure. Go, Konan.” Kisame retreated to the edge of the circle.

She got to her feet and made her way to stand in front of Sakura. Sakura scowled slightly, mentally chanting,  _Just answer the question_ …

Konan got down on her knees in front of her, and smirked. “Would you fuck him?” She flicked her eyes pointedly at Itachi.

Sakura’s face turned red. Instantly, the word  _cheater_  came to mind. In her head, Ino came into the circle and smacked Konan across the face, declaring her a whore and a rival for the Queen of Cheating. Then again… Sakura blinked. _Would I fuck him_? Her blush faded, then roared back.

Meeting Konan’s eyes, Sakura lifted her chin, despite her heated cheeks. “If he dropped his pants, yes.” Beside her, Itachi snickered softly. Touché.

Konan stared at her for a moment, then grinned. “I’m definitely stealing you away.” That said, she got up and walked calmly back to her seat, where Pein was giving her a Look.

Kisame stood up cackling. Pointing to one side of the ring, he announced, “Sex addicts go to that camp,” he swung his arm to the opposite side, towards the water, “wet socks go to the other.”

Earning glares from at least two boyfriends, the blue teenager shrugged. “Just making things clear is all.”

Sharky dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Checking the time, he called out, “Next!”

“We got time for just a few more, so gotta make this quick,” Kisame added and looked up blinking as Dei shot up in a blur of sand. “Well, okay...” They all watched as he made surprisingly fast time across the dark stretch of the beach.

Kisame shrugged. “Eh. Next person will be…”

“Next person will be Tobi!”

The blue boy rolled his eyes. “Hand up, Tobi. Not shout out, you retard.” Sighing, he shot an apologetic glance at Sakura before nodding. “I know I’m going to regret this, but I shouldn’t play favourites. Go, Tobi.”

Tobi pumped his fist and hurried over to Sakura (who had slowly stood up when Kisame glanced at her). “Tobi is a good boy. Will you let good boy Tobi touch your amazing boobies?”

Her fist landed nicely in the center of his face, sending him stumbling back, tripping over a log encircling the fire, then falling off to the side (thankfully). Sakura sniffed. “Denied.”

Off to the side, the game’s master was rolling on his back roaring with laughter. “I think I’m going to piss myself!” he crowed.

The pink-haired girl gave him a tight grin. “You’re welcome, Kisame-kun.” She sat back down.

It took a few moments, but Tobi got dragged to the side and Kisame stopped wheezing. He staggered into the circle again. “Fuck!” He grinned. “Well, that was fast. Next?”

This time Kisame didn’t bother with theatrics. He pointed. Sasori stood up. Kisame sat down.

The redheaded male eyed the females around them, considered Sakura for a beat, then walked over to Konan. “I find myself curious… If you  _do_  somehow manage to obtain Haruno-san, will you leave Pein?”

Konan tilted her head. “Nah. He’s a good fuck.”

“Aah.” Sasori hummed, and then went back to his seat.

Back at the familiar part of the circle, Kisame fell over with a huff. “Laaaaaaaaame,”’ he groaned. “Next!” he belted out while still on his back.

After a moment, Kisame lifted his head from the sand and blinked. “Sakura?” He had sat right next to her after all.

She tilted her head, waiting.

“With all that you’ve been picked on tonight, Hell yeah. Go for it,” he muttered to her. “Sakura-chan is up!” he yelled.

Sakura grinned. “Thanks, Kisame-kun,” she said, and he waved her off. She took a deep breath and slowly turned on her heel to face her date. “Out of curiosity, and I know I could probably ask you this later, but I figure it’s in the spirit of the game…” She paused for half a breath, and his brows lifted. “What do you think of me? My looks, I mean.”

“Hnn.” Itachi leaned back in his cocoon of itchy wool and looked her up and down. Then he did it again. He lifted a finger and twirled it in a circle.

Boasting bright red cheeks, Sakura did as asked and slowly turned around in a complete circle.

“Hnn.” He beckoned her closer, and the girl dropped to her knees in front of him. A long finger snagged the collar of his black shirt and dragged her up against the wool.

Itachi leaned in and Sakura’s breath stopped. “I think, I’ll cheat,” he whispered. She gasped and tried to pull away, but the black-eyed ninja dropped the blanket, snaked a hand around the back of her neck and brought their mouths together with a mumbled, “HOT.”

His lips were smooth, and his tongue slid across the seam of her mouth as his hands curved around her shoulders. Her eyes fluttered closed, her hands landing on firm shoulders. _Oh, fuuuck_ …

And, as if a sign from the Gods, the first fireworks went off at that exact moment. Sakura didn’t notice. Neither did Itachi. Kisame, however, smirked at the cliché and wondered if Deidara had done that on purpose.

Sakura, without even thinking about it, had somehow ended up in Itachi’s lap. Whether it was because she crawled into it or he dragged her, she didn’t know. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and allowed her lips to part.

A shiver sliced down her spine when his tongue darted into her mouth, caressed her own, and reluctantly pulled out. A few more passes, and then they were parting for breath. She opened her eyes and met his unblinking gaze.

“Woah,” was all she could say. … wait, no. She could also mutter, “Cheater.”

Itachi wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed. Then he smirked, “You gave me a choice between answering an obvious question and kissing you for the first time.”

She shrugged, still feeling a little bowled over. “It didn’t seem like an obvious question to me.”

“Did you think I wasn’t thinking ahead when I dragged—” Itachi closed his eyes sighing, and then suddenly snickered. “Let’s just say that when I saw you running around in that white shirt, I wanted you  _wet_.”

The girl in his arms choked at the double meaning, but he pulled her closer before she could wriggle away. “Oh, I wanted you wet all over,” he admitted.

“So you pulled me into a lake?!” She gave a strangled laugh.

He grinned. “It worked,” he said plainly.

She laughed softly and shook her head. “You are just…” She stopped, searching for a word, then changed her sentence. “You are really unpredictable, you know that?”

Itachi hummed and arched a brow. “I am as predictable as you are,” he retorted.

A rather loud bang went off above their heads and Sakura winced at the noise. “I think Dei wants our attention.”

He hummed in agreement and helped her to her feet, and they turned to watch. After a few minutes, Pein pointed out across the lake. “Watch,” he said, as fountain fireworks half buried in the sand all over the beach abruptly went off. None was near them, thankfully.

They all directed their gazes across the lake, and Sakura squinted. “Is there a building there?”

Pein nodded. “It’s a condemned cottage; rotting and falling apart. Watch,” he commanded again.

The pink haired girl shook her head, gaze flickering over the beautiful fountains as they finally flickered and died. Then her eyes lifted when she heard a crackling. The building on the opposite beach was lit from inside, and then—

With a deafening boom, it exploded in a shower of colorful sparks. Three huge fireworks shot into the sky in tandem. One a dragon, and another a flower, and the third a red cloud, with the kanji for ‘Crimson Moon’ in the center.

Sakura sucked in a breath at the display. It was beautiful. The fireworks, the colors… Deidara had even made blowing up a building fantastic! This was really something…

The warmth at her back curved around her, and Itachi’s lips hovered over her ear. “Told you that the entertainment would be excellent.” He chuckled adding, “and you could have asked him about the boy’s bathroom.”

“I forgot.” She leaned back against him. “I was too busy being picked on by mean teenagers,” she said jokingly. Itachi was ridiculously warm…

“Hnn,” Itachi rumbled. This close to him, Sakura felt the vibrations rise up and felt his exhale on her neck.

He rested his chin on her shoulder and tilted his head against hers. “I did not expect you to be ready for a serious relationship,” he said abruptly.

“Wha—?” She twisted in his arms and stared up at him. “You aren’t mad?”

He shook his head and snorted. “Kisame was being an ass, but he was serious.” He glanced away from her and locked eyes with a grinning blue-skinned teen. “Second date?” Itachi huffed. “Only gold diggers plan to get married so fast. Even then, the planning is well in advance by then.”

Sakura burst out laughing, drawing both their gazes. “That’s…  _so_  funny.” She was slightly hysterical with relief, she knew, but she was  _really_  glad that hadn’t upset him! He was really nice (er, well, he was interesting and wouldn’t lie… outright), so it would have really bummed her out if he had dropped her because of that—though, with her experience, it wouldn’t have surprised her.

A quaking over took Itachi’s body and Sakura looked up sharply.

Itachi was slightly shaking, eyes bright, lips smirking and his breath coming in short gasps. “No,” he choked out. “What was funny was Hidan’s own mouth cock-blocking him!” He gurgled and collapsed onto the sand, finally losing to his laughter.

Sakura made a soft noise of disbelief and stood there, hand on hips, watching her date clutch his sides and wheeze for breath. She was about to reach out to him and help him stand, when, with a wet flap, an abused jacket was dropped on top of its owner. She jerked back and looked up.

Kisame grinned down at them both. He shook his head. “Get a hold of yourself, Uchiha. Before someone figures out that you’re human.”

Sakura snorted. “Too late,” she teased, smiling strangely. Most of the time, this boy  _acted **much**_  older than her, but when he was laughing like this… He actually looked his age. It was incredible.

The prone teen on the sand, dragged the jacket off his face and held it away from his body. He shivered. “Fuck, Kisame. This thing is cold!”

Sakura laughed. He looked so offended and open, and normal… She shrugged to herself. She wasn’t ready for a huge commitment, but she was definitely willing to give a try with Itachi.

Stooping down, she slipped an arm under Itachi’s as on his other side Kisame echoed her movements. With the blue guy helping, bringing the half-naked man to his feet was an easy task.

Taking a moment, Itachi straightened and took in a deep breath of air. Sakura couldn’t help but reach out and softly trail a hand down the front of his chest as he did so. He simply smirked and leaned in for a quick kiss.

Then he rotated his shoulders back and exhaled. Twining an arm around Sakura’s waist, he turned to his blue friend. “Hungry?”

“Famished; let’s ditch the Pyro and the Zombie Brothers and go get some grub!” Kisame suggested.

Sakura cocked her head ever so slightly. “Aww, c’mon. Deidara-kun deserves a freaking medal for that stuff.” She turned pleading eyes on Itachi. “Let’s bring him with, and just ditch the other guys.”

Kisame shrugged. “The Zombie Bros could take the junk car,” he pointed out.

Itachi observed Sakura’s pleading looking for a moment, then took his jacket in both hands and draped it over her head. “Kisame, go get Deidara. I’ll leave the keys with Pein.”

The tall boy chuckled as the girl screeched under the cold wet clinging fabric of the coat. “I’ll be going then, ya?” Sharky laughed and went off shouting for the ‘Pyro Master’.

xXx

A/N: Encountering Konan is akin to waking up in the hospital with only one thought: Did anyone get the plate number of that truck?


	9. Damage Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s a rotten girl-stealing bastard, Sensei!”

“I don’t like it,” Naruto said, glaring at the silver Camaro sitting in the parking lot of the school. Leaning against its hood was Sakura-chan, and leaning against _her_ was Uchiha fucking Itachi. Fag.  
  
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “And you think I do? What’re you gonna do about it? Either one of them can kick your ass up and down the street.”  
  
“Shuddup.” He pouted, and then turned his puppy dog pout on Shikamaru and Ino in hopes of gaining _their_ sympathy.  
  
Shika snorted. Like he was going to step between those two or in front. Since Itachi had started to hang out around Sakura, whenever the two of them were near each other, there seemed to be a zone that developed around them. It was at least ten feet in radius, and it was lethal to the mental health of anyone who so much as nosed about the couple’s plans for the evening. Ino had been the only one to successfully walk into that kill zone and out again. And that was only when Itachi was by himself.  
  
Ino gave Naruto a very sweet smile. “Why don’t you go over there and talk to them? I’m sure they’d _love_ your company.”  
  
The male blond appeared to be thinking about it, but Sasuke elbowed him. “Rock Lee told me, he went up against Itachi in a fight, Naruto. He said, Itachi was as quick as him. Itachi was going _easy_.”  
  
Naruto opened his mouth, was elbowed again, and glowered at his best friend. “Doesn’t matter! I’m sure that if all of us jumped him, Uchiha will go down just as fast as anyone else!” he spouted out, uncaring that the couple had noticed the group. And the irate blond that was gesturing at them.  
  
“Shut UP, DOBE!” Sasuke grabbed the back of Naruto’s head and frog-marched him around the corner and out of sight. “They noticed us, you idiot,” he hissed and watched as blue eyes widened.  
  
“Sakura-chan—” Naruto whimpered.  
  
“Would end you right after Itachi mopped the floor with your face,” the younger Uchiha said firmly, letting go of blond hair.  
  
Naruto’s lip trembled. “But... but _Sasuke_!” he said, thankfully lowering his voice. “You _know_ how I feel about her! It was obvious! And he just—” He closed his mouth, looking down.  
  
Ino peeked around the corner. “Itachi keeps smirking this way,” she commented idly. “Oh, and your shirt’s backwards, Naruto.”  
  
There was a strangled laugh. Shikamaru walked around the corner and slumped against the wall. “What Ino failed to mention,” he laconically added, “is that Itachi is smirking, but Sakura-chan is _glaring_.”  
  
The lanky Nara shivered and looked at Ino. “I don’t know how you can just stand there in plain view.”  
  
“I’m _not_ scared of Forehead girl,” she replied, not bothering to lower her voice (though it wasn’t raised unnecessarily either), “or Uchiha Itachi.” She suddenly smirked. “I _do_ have dirt, though. My good friend Temari went to the same party that they did, you know, Friday?”  
  
Naruto blinked, then widened his eyes. “Eh? Dirt? Did someone fall?”  
  
“Oh, don’t you dare play dumb,” Ino retorted, glowering at him.  
  
The other blond gulped while Sasuke sneered. “I don’t want to know.” But Ino was already talking.  
  
“They were playing Kiss or Tell, a huge group of them. Itachi and Sakura were both asked rather big questions.” The gleeful blonde girl scooted around the corner, giggling. “Looks like Itachi is looking to get serious with a girl and—”  
  
Naruto exploded, “WHAT!!! NOT MY SAKURA-CHAN!”  
  
And before anyone could stop him, the blond had darted out, Sasuke yelping his name in a sudden surge of horror. Someone was about to _die_.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Sakura was complaining about nosy friends to her attentive listener when she heard Naruto’s voice rise, saying something about ‘his Sakura-chan’. She blinked and leaned to the side to peer past Itachi.  
  
And saw Naruto running toward them with Sasuke in hot pursuit.

Itachi, realizing something was happening, turned. His eyes narrowed as he shifted to defend himself. Thankfully, just under ten feet away, his little brother caught up with the enraged blond and promptly tackled him.

Itachi tugged Sakura off to the other side of the car, just in case.  
  
For a few minutes, Naruto and Sasuke wrestled on the ground. Sasuke’s face was surprisingly pale, and Naruto’s was red with fury. The blond almost escaped his assailant, scrambling to his feet, and yelled—“GONNA MURDER YOU!!!”—before Sasuke tripped him again.  
  
Itachi’s eyes were mere slits, but he allowed the two to continue their scuffle—it was rather interesting. The elder Uchiha was able to pinpoint the _exact_ moment Naruto’s rage took control of him. While before, Naruto had been more focused on escaping; now he was lashing out at the dark-haired boy in anger for his interference.  
  
Ino and Shikamaru were both pale and standing off to the side, looking like they _wanted_ to do something, but weren’t sure what. Shikamaru’s gaze darted toward Itachi, then Sakura, then around them and back to the two on the ground.  
  
Itachi could _see_ the wheels turning in the boy’s head. Their gazes caught once more and Nara’s eye twitched. Meanwhile, Naruto had rammed his fist into Sasuke’s face hard enough to free himself...  
  
The lazy boy abruptly wheeled around and left.  
  
Ino didn’t notice. Neither did Sakura, Naruto or Sasuke. Itachi noted his departure, but had other things to concentrate on, such as the set of scraped knuckles heading for his face.   
  
“NARUTO!” Sakura’s fist planted itself into the cheek of the raging boy, knocking Naruto off-balance and leaving Itachi with a smirk and an empty upraised palm.  
  
The blond stumbled back, fury momentarily derailed. He looked up at her, gritted his teeth, and vibrated with the force of his anger. Itachi did a quick sweep of the area. Shikamaru was nowhere in sight, Ino had knelt beside Sasuke...  
  
Sasuke... His nose was broken, and bleeding. Itachi’s eyes flickered from his brother’s face to Naruto, in time to see the boy pull back his fist. “Stay out of this Sakura,” Itachi hissed, and sidestepped. As Naruto’s wrist passed within inches of his cheek, he grabbed, twisted, and pulled.  
  
Naruto was spun around and locked in place with his arm held painfully, tightly, behind his back. The blond made a sound that was eerily like an enraged animal—perhaps a canine of some sort—and ducked further. His free hand scooped up a handful of dirt and rocks and then tossed it back into Itachi’s face.  
  
Itachi, surprised, automatically released his hold and stumbled _away_ from Sakura (and his car). His hands lifted to rub his eyes, trying to clear his vision. That _hurt_!  
  
A fist rammed into his stomach. He knocked it away, struggling to open his eyes.  
  
His ire had been invoked—cheating _bastard_! Then again, a faint hint of admiration shone through as well. Itachi received another punch, grazing his cheek, but he was too good for Naruto to get his face. The faint admiration flashed and died like one of Dei’s flares.  
  
Itachi’s own fist flashed out, caught the blond on the jaw and—  
  
A hand caught his wrist. A cry from his opponent made Itachi realize that someone had intervened. “What is this? Fights like this aren’t allowed on school property, y’know. I’ll have to call your parents.”  
  
Naruto made a sound between a growl and a hiss, while Itachi was trying to bring a face to that voice. The male continued. “Ah, sorry Naruto! Caregivers, then. Uchiha, can you see? Sakura-chan says you got something in your eyes?”  
  
And a face registered: Hatake-sensei.  
  
The older boy cautiously relaxed his eyes and slit one open, only to squeeze it back shut. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “Hatake-san?”

“Yo.”

“If I open my eyes, I risk damaging them,” Itachi gritted out. “Need to wash them out.”  
  
“Okay,” Hatake Kakashi agreed slowly. “We can stop by the bathroom on the way to the office.” He released Itachi’s wrist in favor of gripping his upper arm, and turned his attention to the others. “Alright, Yamanaka, Sakura-chan, Nara... get lost. I’ll swing by to talk to you guys later.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Sakura spoke up, sounding worried. “Itachi-kun, Naruto, are you guys okay?”  
  
A sniffle, and Naruto shot Itachi a glare. “I’m okay, Sakura-chan,” he said. Kaka-sensei had gripped the back of his neck in a way that said he would _personally_ be telling the Ero-nutcase later. And he would make sure Naruto was _right there_ with them.  
  
Itachi’s free arm twitched and his fingers curled into a fist, and he jammed the whole hand into his pants pocket. “Sensei, I need to wash my eyes,” he reminded the teacher. His whole body was tense with the need to get the grit out of his eyes, but rubbing would not help.  
  
“Itachi-kun?” Her voice was so small.  
  
He shook his head. “Later,” Itachi said shortly.  
  
“Okay,” she replied, as Hatake moved both boys along.  
  
True to his word, Kakashi marched them into the closest bathroom and nudged Itachi toward the sink. He seemed to be taking this all rather coolly, without a single outward emotion that didn’t say he was _exhaustingly bored_.  
  
While Itachi leaned over to wash out his eyes, Kakashi watched in well-hidden amusement as Naruto glared daggers at the older boy’s back. He didn’t need to ask; it wasn’t like the rumors weren’t on everyone’s mind and coming out of their mouths these day.  
  
Every time said mouths opened:  
  
 _“Did you hear...”_  
  
 _“And Itachi-kun is...”_  
  
 _“—Can’t believe she—”_  
  
 _“So stupid! What does he...”_  
  
It was everywhere. Nobody seemed too happy with it, aside from Yamanaka. But she got her kicks out of getting into everyone else’s love life.  
  
Kakashi moved his hand from the back of Naruto’s neck to his shoulder, and squeezed. The boy looked up at him. He smiled. Naruto made a face like he’d tasted something bad and averted his gaze.  
  
Itachi had hoped that a few splashes, and a few blinks into handfuls of water would quickly remove the grit, but he hadn’t expected it to sting as much as it did. Blinking hurt. Rotating the eyeballs hurt. The only thing that didn’t, was the tears that constantly flushed the remaining grains of sand out from the sockets. He hissed as he opened his eyes and looked into the mirror.  
  
“Fuck,” he muttered softly as he took in the reflection. Everything was blurry. _Everything_. His heartbeat picked up and he felt light-headed for a moment.   
  
He glanced side to side and noticed in morbid fascination that the blurriness wasn’t even uniform. His right vision was clear at the top and blurred at the bottom, but his left eye was completely useless. Shadows and general shapes and colours could be seen, but... Itachi closed his right eye with a wince and held up a spread fingered hand before the mirror. He could make out his palm, but not the fingers.  
  
He dropped the hand, and closed the last eye. Damnit. It was going to be more disorienting with his eyes open than closed. He may as well be bl—  
  
Itachi snorted. The scratches would heal. Nothing was bleeding. He took a long breath through the nose and hissed it back out through a locked jaw.  
  
Turning, he addressed Hatake-sensei, “I should keep my eyes closed for now, I think. They are scratched.”  
  
Kakashi hummed. “Okay. I’ll lead you by your arm, then.” As if he’d do otherwise. He grasped Itachi’s bicep again and led the boys from the room and down the hall to the office. He smiled at Shizune, sitting behind a desk.  
  
“Hello, Shizune-chan~” he greeted in a sing-song tone. “I have a couple of fighters here to speak with Sarutobi-sama.”  
  
Shizune looked at the two boys and sighed. Really, she was surprised they hadn’t been dragged here sooner, with what she’d heard and knew about both of their personalities. “Uchiha-kun? Are you alright?”  
  
“He got dirt in his eyes,” Kakashi said with a cheerful smile. Naruto cut him a glance, eyes narrowed. Sadist.  
  
“Oh, I see,” Shizune murmured, and got up gracefully. “Please wait here. I’ll see if he is able to take them right now.”  
  
Naruto watched the lady leave, and sighed. Ero-Sennin was gonna _murder_ him!  
  
Uchiha let his ears track the movements of the secretary and noted the shifting sounds of Naruto. Hatake-sensei was humming under his breath, but otherwise stood still.  
  
Taking another breath in, Itachi registered and catalogued the different signals his body was telling him, now that the danger had been flushed from his eyes. Naruto’s blow to the stomach had been a good one, but nothing but a faint bruising would occur. Itachi dismissed the tender feeling there as trivial. Kisame hit harder. The graze to the cheek held a few faint stings from the water earlier, but didn’t even rate as scratches.   
  
By the time he had determined all other offenses insignificant, Shizune had returned.  
  
“He’ll see you both, one at a time. Uchiha-kun? Could you come with me, please?” Her hand touched his gently, fingers cool and soft. She clasped his fingers and pulled gently, directing him carefully.  
  
Itachi followed her obediently and was soon enveloped with the vaguely familiar scent of rain and pine. Somewhere, there was the sound of water flowing softly. A body shifted, and Shizune gently lead him to a chair, waited for him to sit, and then backed away.  
  
The door closed with a quiet _snick_ behind her.

“Uchiha Itachi-kun. I don’t believe I’ve ever had you in here, aside from that incident the first year with Hoshigaki-san. You two are friends now, aren’t you?” Sarutobi-sensei asked. There was a soft clunk. “Cookie?”  
  
The blind boy nodded. “Yes, Kisame and I are close,” he paused. “And, no thank you. Sensei.”  
  
“Suit yourself.” The soft slide of porcelain against smooth wood followed. “I’m glad. It pleases me to know that two enemies can become such close allies. It gives me hope for the future.” There was a shift and a soft creak; Sarutobi was sitting back in his chair.  
  
Itachi snorted. Naruto didn’t even rate as a rival, much less an enemy. Soft dreams, old man. “Hnn.”  
  
Sarutobi chuckled. “That was funny? Aah, you must think I was being sneaky and talking about Naruto-kun. No.” He sighed. “I do wish to know what that was about, however. Care to enlighten me, Itachi-kun?”  
  
He gave a slight shrug. “Uzumaki took exception to the rumors. His friends attempted to dissuade him from confronting me directly. He ignored their advice.” Itachi tilted his head, hearing Naruto’s voice rising in the outer office. “He confronted me.”  
  
“Aah, I see.” Sarutobi hummed thoughtfully, listening to the soft sound of Kakashi scolding Naruto for his racket. “Why did he confront you? Do you know?”  
  
A death wish, Itachi thought darkly. Not only did the boy attack him, but he did so against Sakura’s wishes and, further, after she had shown her displeasure. He wasn’t sure it had been a show of courage and determination, or plain bull-headed idiocy.  
  
He turned his face towards Sarutobi-sama. “I am dating Sakura-san,” he said bluntly.  
  
Sarutobi didn’t bat an eyelash, not that Itachi would have known anyway. “Aah. Yes, I see. Well, that would make him rather irritated, wouldn’t it?” he mused to himself. “Very well. Please step outside and send Naruto-kun in, mm? Do you need assistance?”  
  
He considered taking the steps out on his own, but the sudden image of him randomly feeling for the doorknob was too embarrassing. Itachi sighed and nodded. “I think it would be best if Shizune-san could lead me back out, Sensei.”  
  
There was another shifting, and soft footsteps. A hand, softer than Shizune-san’s, with loose skin and wrinkles, touched his elbow, then gripped. “Come, then. Perhaps you should have someone else drive you home? I’ll be giving your parents a call, of course,” Sarutobi-sama informed him.  
  
The teen nodded absently. His thoughts, however, had already come up with a possible solution and he smirked, amused. Sakura would finally have the keys to Shiori. For today.  
  
With Sensei’s help, Itachi made his way to the door and waited, while Sarutobi opened the door. Shizune was instantly standing in front of him, her faint perfume wafting in the air.   
  
Itachi groaned to himself. An invalid. Passed from caretaker to caretaker. Kisame was going to have a field day with this.  
  
Shizume took his hand again as behind him, the higher authority called Naruto to enter the office. Itachi moved forward as the younger boy moved past.  
  
“Whatever he said,” the boy was saying, “it’s all a lie...”  
  
The door closed.  
  
“Sit, please,” Sarutobi instructed.  
  
“Aww, but Sensei—”  
  
“ _Sit_ , Naruto. That was not a request.” Sarutobi lifted a brow.  
  
Naruto grumbled but knew better than to argue. Once he’d sat, though, he started up again. “He’s a rotten girl-stealing bastard, Sensei!”  
  
“Is he, now,” Sarutobi replied rhetorically.  
  
Naruto didn’t catch on. “Yes! He stole Sakura-chan from me!”  
  
“I see...” Sarutobi sat back in his seat and picked a cookie from the green-porcelain bowl sitting on the large oak desk. He didn’t offer Naruto one of the chocolate covered sweets; the boy was hyper enough without it. “And did Sakura-chan protest?”  
  
The blond mumbled for a moment, then hissed, “No.” He paused, then straightened. “He’s like bewitched her or something! I heard he was a ninja; and they can do those stuff.”  
  
Sarutobi snorted. “Hm. Tell me, Naruto-kun... What was Sakura-chan’s reaction to you attacking her boyfriend?”  
  
Naruto paused, then admitted, “Uh... she hit me?”  
  
“I thought so.” Sarutobi nodded sagely. “And what does that tell you? Aside from that she’s no different in personality than usual.”  
  
Naruto took a few more minutes to answer this. “... She didn’t like me attacking Uchiha?”  
  
“Very good. Which means...?”  
  
“She doesn’t want him hurt?”  
  
“Uh-huh.” Sarutobi gave him a praising smile. “What else?”  
  
The blond was thoughtful for a moment. “She... uh... She likes him?” he ventured, hating to say it.  
  
Sarutobi nodded. “Yeesss. Very good! One more thing?”  
  
Silence. Naruto was now being stubborn.  
  
Sarutobi sighed and tried a different tactic. “If Sakura-chan were... say... attacked on the street—” Naruto sucked in a breath “—what would she do?”  
  
The breath whooshed out, and Naruto’s eyes closed in confusion. He thought it over a minute, before peeking at the principal and asking, “Hit them?”  
  
“Uh huh. She would hit them. And if someone precious to her were being attacked?”  
  
“ _Really_ hit them,” Naruto declared, envisioning Sakura punching someone for coming at him with a knife.  
  
Sarutobi beamed. “And when _you_ attacked _Itachi-kun_... what did she do?”  
  
Naruto paled. “Hit me?” he squeaked. The blond looked _terrible_ : his breath escaped all in a rush, and his eyes watered, his nose wrinkled, and his lip wobbled.  
  
Sarutobi didn’t bat an eyelash. “Which, if we were going by that little attacker scenario, would make you whom?”  
  
The boy’s eyes dropped to the desk, staring unseeing at the seemingly random assortment of papers and files. His shoulders slumped and he muttered something. At Sarutobi’s request to repeat himself— “An old man’s ears aren’t as good as they once were!”—he peeked at the man’s face.  
  
“The attacker.”  
  
“Yes.” Sarutobi sighed. “Meaning, the bad guy. Sakura-chan hit you to defend Itachi-kun, whom she cares for. Don’t you think it’s best to let _her_ decide his worth? Without your interference? It’s only fair, to both of them.”  
  
While Naruto didn’t care about fair to that jackass... Sakura deserved better. So he nodded. “Yeah.”  
  
“Good. Now, I believe you’ve missed your bus home, so maybe Hatake-kun would give you a ride. I can only assume he wishes to inform your guardian personally of what has occurred this afternoon.”  
  
Naruto nodded again. “Yeah,” he repeated and got up. He bowed to Sarutobi. “Thank you, Sensei.”  
  
“Any time, Naruto.”  
  
A firm knock on the door interrupted the peaceful atmosphere of teacher and student. The door swung open to reveal Haruno Sakura holding a bright orange backpack. Behind her stood Yamanaka Ino, a look on her face that said she was trying to appear to be solemn and reluctant... and _completely_ failing at it.  
  
Sakura flicked a glare at Naruto and then respectfully bowed to the man behind the desk. “Sarutobi-sama, I have come to give an accurate—and clear—accounting of the events of this afternoon.” She straightened and stalked in, her blonde friend trailing in after her, a stifled skip to her step. “And if my word is not enough as a witness, I have Ino-chan here too.”  
  
“Sakura-chan,” Naruto stepped forward and the girl swung around to face him, fists clenching.  
  
“Not a word, Naruto!” she hissed. “Itachi is sitting out there blind. _Blind_!” Sakura threw the bag at his chest. “Get out!”  
  
He wilted. “Okay, Sakura-chan,” he said, and slowly walked out, like a puppy with his tail between his legs.  
  
Ino closed the door behind him, and turned to grin at Sarutobi. “Oh man. You must have it _rough_ ,” she said instantly.  
  
Sakura groaned. “ _Ino Piiiggg_...”  
  
“What, Forehead?”  
  
“Ladies,” Sarutobi interrupted. “If you could sit please...”  
  
Sakura blinked and straightened her spine. With a lift of her chin, she strode over to one of the chairs situated in front of the oak desk and sat down.   
  
Sarutobi smiled once Ino had mimicked her friend. “Now, you said you were willing to tell me what specifically transpired, hm? Please start at the beginning, Sakura-chan.”  
  
She frowned and looked down at the desk. “I was coming out of school and ran into Itachi-kun.” Her irritated expression smoothed out and she smiled slightly. “He offered me a ride home...”   
  
Sakura trailed off for a moment, remembering the grin that had graced his lips when he had teased her, saying that Shiori was in the parking lot.  
  
Ino coughed and the pink-haired girl snapped back to attention. “And, of course I said yes. I mean, it’s Shiori—er, I mean, it’s... well, it’s a silver _Camaro_ , Sarutobi-sama.”  
  
Beside her, the blonde rolled her eyes.  
  
“Aah, I see,” he said, hiding his amusement. “That _is_ a big deal. So you were standing around talking about getting a ride? Then what happened? As the fight transpired in the parking lot, I assume you moved to that location at some point?”  
  
The girl nodded. “Yes, Sensei. We walked together to the car, but I had forgotten that I was supposed to meet up with Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun, and the others.” There, she gave the amused blonde an apologetic smile. “Usually, we meet near the parking lot. So, I thought that when they showed up, I could tell them that I would be staying for only a little. Then Itachi-kun would drive me home.”  
  
The man nodded. “But this didn’t happen exactly the way you’d thought.”  
  
Sakura growled. “I was talking with Itachi-kun, when I noticed my friends at the corner of the North building. They didn’t do anything but stand there, talking about us!” This time, the glance she shot Ino was annoyed. “No friendly wave, no smiles, nothing.”  
  
Sarutobi lifted his brows and turned his gaze to Ino. “Ino-chan?” 

“Naruto and Sasuke-kun were complaining about it,” Ino explained. “Me and Shika have last period together, as you probably know. He and I were heading out to the parking lot to meet everyone as usual. Sasuke-kun and Naruto came around the building and arrived at about the same time.  
  
“We basically all saw Forehead,” she gestured to Sakura. “Walking with Itachi-kun at the same time. They are _so_ uber cute, you know! It’s like—”  
  
“Ino-chan, the facts, if you could,” Sarutobi interrupted gently.  
  
She blinked, and then shook her head, unbothered by the chiding. “Oh, right, duh. Anyway, so we just sorta stood there, the guys and I, watching them walk to that _sexy_ Camaro...”—She bit back the urge to make an orgasm comment there—“And then Sasuke-kun was all ‘I should have known’,” she said, deepening her voice to mimic Sasuke.  
  
“And Naruto, looking like he totally wanted to burst a vein, asks what Sasuke-kun should have known. Sasuke-kun tells us that Itachi-kun and Forehead”—another gesture toward the pink-haired teen—“had gone out to a party Friday night. Naruto was all ‘What? Dumb Itachi’ and muttered about how he didn’t like it, and him and Sasuke-kun argued about it for a while... Shika made a comment...  
  
“Naruto, not giving a crap that they could _hear_ us, starts talking about him, Sasuke-kun and probably the rest of us—or maybe Lee-kun, Sasuke-kun mentioned him...”  
  
“Ino-chan,” Sarutobi prodded.  
  
“Oh, right. Well, anyway, he was talking about the group jumping Itachi-kun, since Itachi-kun would beat their as—er, butts in one-on-one. Sasuke-kun _drags_ him off around the corner of the building, and they’re talking, but of course all _I_ could hear was Naruto’s half of the conversation.”  
  
She suddenly stopped, and gave Sakura a nervous look.  
  
Sarutobi quirked a brow at the long-winded blonde, curious. “And then...?”  
  
“Well...” the blonde hedged. “You see, earlier in the day, I got this _huuuggee_ excited text from my fr—passing acquaintance Temari. She was like _totally_ ecstatic, and was telling me about the party, and how it came out during said party that Itachi was _seriously_ pursuing Forehead.” Another gesture. “Well, I was so excited about this that I told the guys the first chance I got—it was totally amazing! And sweet, don’t forget that! And I told them, right after Sasuke-kun had dragged Naruto off and well...”  
  
She cleared her throat. “He uh... Naruto, that is... he didn’t take that so well...” She grimaced and fell silent.  
  
Sarutobi, brows raised, looked at Sakura. “Sakura-chan?” he said, drawing her gaze from Ino, whom she’d been glaring at.  
  
She muttered, “Always so _nosy_ , can’t keep— _argh_!” Sakura turned forward and tried to look calm and collected. Nope. “I guess that’s when Naruto yelled and came charging around the corner,” she said. “Sasuke-kun was running after _him_ , and then Ino and Shika.  
  
“Sasuke-kun took Naruto down before the idiot could get to us”—Sakura winced—“and got a broken nose for his troubles,” she added woefully.

“After that Naruto jumped up and swung at Itachi, but he didn’t connect.” Sakura flicked a lock of pink hair away from her face. “And then I swung at Naruto and _I_ connected.”  
  
“Oh, she totally decked him hard, but Naruto didn’t have a scratch!” Ino inserted, and pouted. “Well, he’s resilient, at least.”  
  
Sarutobi smiled slightly. “I see.... So the two started to fight after Naruto-kun was... ah, punished by Sakura-chan?”  
  
Ino nodded. “Oh, he was like _shell-shocked_. I—Oh, you can go on, Forehead,” she suddenly said, realizing she’d stolen the lime light.  
  
Sakura blinked and peered suspiciously at the blonde by her side. “Well...” she started slowly, looking back to Sarutobi. “Yes. I was trying to get Naruto to stop, but he wouldn’t listen, the idiot. He jumped back at us and Itachi-kun caught him.” She made some vague twisting motions with her hands, but soon gave up, shrugging. “He grabbed Naruto and put him into an arm lock, but then Naruto managed to reach down and that’s when he tossed the dirt into Itachi-kun’s eyes.”  
  
Sarutobi nodded slowly. “I see, and that is why Itachi-kun cannot see.” He considered this for a moment, and then sighed. “I think I know what I need to know. Now, there is something I must discuss with the two of you.”  
  
Ino blinked, her half-baked plans foiled, but this could be more interesting anyway. “What?”  
  
Biting her lip, Sakura nodded. “What do you want to talk about, Sarutobi-sama?” She couldn’t think of anything that would need both their input.  
  
He smiled grimly. “I will of course be speaking with Shikamaru-san and Sasuke-kun later... but since the two of you are here, and witnesses, I have decided to start with you. As you know, the Uchiha family is a very prestigious family, and the family head is _not_ fond of Naruto-kun... There is a chance that, with the extent of the injuries done to Sasuke-kun and Itachi-kun, he may take legal action.”  
  
Ino had paled. “Oooh.”  
  
Sarutobi sighed and nodded. “It seems you’re a quick one, Ino-chan. Uchiha Fugaku-san _may_ call on the both of you as witnesses.”  
  
The other girl slumped in her chair. “But—” she began and then moaned. “Sasuke-kun got hurt fighting with Naruto-kun to keep the baka from getting hurt himself. Then Itachi-kun gets hurt trying to restrain Naruto.” She slapped both hands over her eyes. “Sensei, this is so messed up.”  
  
She sat up suddenly and dropped her hands into her lap. “And it’s because of me!” she wailed softly. She turned tragic eyes to Sarutobi. “Mikoto-san was just starting to like me too,” she added dully.  
  
His eyebrows lifted. “Oooh?” A small smile quirked his mouth, then was tucked away like an unused garment. “You know Mikoto-san, then. Perhaps you could tell her hello for me? It’s been an awful long time.” He lifted his porcelain bowl. “Cookie?”  
  
Ino, wide-eyed, was reeling from the sudden diversion of the topic. Her eyes narrowed and darted between Sarutobi and Sakura. Sakura was gaping at Sarutobi, who was beaming back. Ino remembered his expression when Sakura had mentioned the Uchiha Matriarch.  
  
The sly smile slowly tilted across Ino’s lips. “Mikoto-san, eh? Itachi-kun’s favorite parent, you say, Sarutobi-sensei?”  
  
“Yes, Ino-chan.” His eyes were dancing. This one was very smart. Or perhaps the word was crafty. “Tell her ‘hello’ for me, hm? And perhaps tell her that her sons are modern marvels, while you’re at it. Amazing grades, those two.” 

“Are we done here, Sensei?” Ino asked, but then Sakura regained her voice.  
  
“Mikoto-san”—Sakura spoke softly, slowly—“ _is_ Itachi’s favourite parent. And you’re happy that I know her. And that she likes me. And you want her to remember you.” Her eyes narrowed. “And to know that you think the world of her sons—”   
  
She blinked and her head jerked up. “And that they are _modern_ marvels... You think she will help with Naruto-kun?” Sakura asked in a rush.  
  
“Cookie?” he repeated and winked.  
  
Ino grinned. “I’d _love_ one!” she chirped, taking a cookie. She had to lean forward to do so, and Sarutobi leaned close. She blinked. “Eh?”  
  
“Mikoto-san would do anything to _benefit_ her sons.”  
  
They both straightened, Ino’s eyes wide. “Oh, _wow_ , I didn’t even—” She stopped and looked at Sakura. “Oh, honey...” And she burst out laughing.  
  
The pink-haired girl’s cheeks were blazing pink and she was gaping at Sarutobi. “But, I said I wasn’t ready...” she said dazedly.  
  
“Wasn’t ready for what, Sakura-chan?” he asked gently. Had he made a mistake in his assessment? “For a relationship? Is that it?” She nodded dumbly, and he sighed. “I see. Well, I will not tell you that you have to take my suggestions. But I _will_ urge you to think with both head and heart, not either-or.”  
  
“Aah,” Sakura sighed. Without another word, she reached forth and snagged a cookie. She frowned at it. It had better be one damned fine cookie. All this fuss, all at once, and all so _important_. Was he worth it? Who was “ _he_ ” for that matter? Naruto was important to her, but she had decked him for Itachi’s sake. Itachi was... serious—and she appreciated it! She just wasn’t ready.  
  
The troubled girl shook her head suddenly. She reviewed her last thought. No, she wasn’t ready, but goddamnit she was willing to see if eventually, with Itachi, she might be.   
  
Sakura bit down on the cookie. She might be, yes. But, just—not right now!  
  
“Good cookie?” Sarutobi asked cheerfully. He could read the girl like an open book.

 xXx


	10. Out of Commission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Itachi... niisan... don’t go psychotic on my idiot.”

Meanwhile, as the girls had their suspiciously _quiet_ meeting with the principal...  
  
Sasuke, holding a tissue to his nose, stuck his head into the room. Kakashi-sensei had gone, likely taking Naruto home, and the girls were in the office with the principal. That left only Shizune and Itachi in the outer office.  
  
Carefully, the younger Uchiha tiptoed across the room, and was about two feet from his brother when Itachi spoke.  
  
“He broke your nose.”  
  
“I’ve had worse. Hell, _you’ve_ done worse,” Sasuke replied, quickly giving up on sneaking. He sat next to his brother, one seat between them, and set his shoulder bag down on the floor. “He blinded you.”  
  
“Temporarily,” Itachi said dismissively. And then when he got his sight back, if Naruto ever tried that stunt again...  
  
There was a shuffle at the hall door, then a squeak, and then quite suddenly Sasuke stiffened. He slowly turned his head, and saw two girls duck out of view.  
  
“Shizune-san, is there a _lock_ on that door?”  
  
Shizune snorted. “Nope.”  
  
“Damn.”  
  
“Chairs,” Itachi said blandly. The handle of the hall door was a lever type. If a chair was shoved up beneath the handle, the door could be kept closed.  
  
Shizune gave them both an exasperated look. “Are the big bad Uchiha’s afraid of a few girls?” she asked.  
  
While Itachi declined to answer that, Sasuke cleared his throat. “Shizune-san? You’ve been to the zoo, right?” At her cautious nod, he went on. “Have you ever seen the caretakers feeding... say... a snake?”  
  
“Once,” she admitted, confused. What did this have to do with the girls?  
  
“What did it do?”  
  
She thought back to the occasion, brow wrinkled. The snake in question had been a boa, and had—“Oh.” Pause. “ _Oh_.”  
  
“It’s a similar reaction if you put bleeding Sasuke and blind Itachi out for the ‘few girls’’ viewing pleasure.” He clapped his hands. “Snap. In seconds.” He stopped, continued. “Like a shark and a bleeding victim—”  
  
“I get it, Sasuke-kun,” she said with a grimace.  
  
Itachi reached out and somehow, someway, poked Sasuke-kun in the dead center of the forehead. “The door, Sasuke.”  
  
There were more shuffling noises out in the hallway and instead of squeaks, there were now furious whispers. That seemed to fill the hall.  
  
Sasuke needed no further encouragement, and quickly scurried across the room with his own chair. He blocked the door and pulled the blinds, then sighed in relief. The door rattled.  
  
“Hey, I didn’t know it could lock...” someone said on the other side.  
  
Sasuke paled.  
  
The older teenager sighed as Shizune laughed weakly in disbelief. “We may be in here for a while,” Itachi observed, and settled back into his chair.  
  
Sasuke shook his head and returned to his brother, sitting in the chair right next to him. “... so...” He nodded vaguely and drummed on his knee with the hand not holding the tissue. … He should get a new one. Black eyes focused on a box of them on Shizune’s desk and he snagged one, tossing the other away.  
  
He sat back down. “Uh... It hurt?”  
  
“Hnn.” Hurt was a good word for it. Humiliating would be another. A complete hindrance to all efforts to move from one spot to another, yes. Annoying as fuck, oh definitely.  
  
Itachi shook his head and added. “Both of us, Sasuke. He injured _both_ of us.” How could he have allowed this to happen?  
  
Sasuke nodded. “Yeah. I noticed.” He bit his lip. “But it’ll heal. And it’s not like he— well...” He stopped, then went on. “He’s a pain, and whiney, and my _best friend_.”  
  
“You should pick better friends,” Itachi said flatly. Sure, Kisame had drawn blood before. Hell, they had a good fight on a bimonthly basis that ended with them tenderized and sprained for weeks. However, his best friend didn’t … Okay, maybe Kisame had. Once. A few times. He sighed.  
  
“You too,” Sasuke replied, straight-faced. “Don’t murder him please?”  
  
Itachi snorted, and then remembered a stupid movie he had seen a preview for years ago. “‘You’d be surprised what you can live through’.”  
  
Oh no... “Itachi... niisan... don’t go psychotic on my idiot,” Sasuke said, just shy of pleading.  
  
A stiff backed Itachi turned woodenly in his chair to face his younger brother. Scowling, Itachi slowly slid open his eyelids. “Ask me again when these heal.”  
  
His eyes were red. The whites couldn’t be called whites, the capillaries were irritated or burst in splotches. Thankfully, the pupils and iris were still inky black, though the surfaces was not as smooth as they should have been.  
  
He closed his eyes again and settled into the chair. Damned younger brother and his pleading, and the fact that really, this was all just laughable. And pathetic. And that stunt _stung_!  
  
Sasuke gritted his teeth, forcing himself not to immediately blow his top. He could understand it. Itachi was in pain. So was Sasuke. And—  
  
… well... “Fine, whatever. At least _you_ will have Sakura fussing over you,” he muttered, a little irritably. If he played it right, he could escape _that_... “What with her dumb flowers, and her stupid nurse aunt...” He shuddered. “She gets damn mother-hen like. It’s annoying as all hell.”  
  
Itachi tilted his head and thought about what Sasuke had said. Sakura would be fussing over him. Mother-hen behavior meant she would be spending much of her time around him. He wasn’t sure about the aunt, but he had a vivid image of Sakura walking around in a nurse outfit... He began to smirk.  
  
Fussing over a friend and fussing over a _boyfriend_ , could mean two entirely different things. It was his eyes that were damaged, not the rest of his body. Already he knew that by stripping away his ability to see, he was appreciating all his other senses. The water fight by the beach had been done in almost complete darkness and Sakura’s wet skin had felt like...  
  
Sasuke coughed at the look on his brother’s face, and abruptly slid his chair away. “... I’m not going to ask,” he declared firmly, and jumped when the door to Sarutobi’s office opened.  
  
Ino perked when she saw him. “Sasuke-kun! Oh, geez, he sure as hell did a number on _you_. We should take you home and get you some of Uchiha-dono’s riceballs. They make life seem so much more worth living...”  
  
He choked. ‘ _We’_?  
  
Sakura walked past Ino and stopped in front of the two brothers. “Itachi-kun? It’s time to go.” She placed a hand on his wrist and watched as he rotated his forearm so that his hand clasped hers. She nearly stumbled though when instead of rising from the chair, he pulled her close.  
  
“We?” he asked.  
  
“Oh...” She flushed. “Well... I actually... um...” The look on his face told her that he knew she was preparing to lie. “Can we... go somewhere else to talk about it? Please?”  
  
Sasuke’s eyes had narrowed. What were these two up to?  
  
“Oh c’mon!” Ino wailed before Itachi could answer. “You guys can be all romantic and whatever _later_. I want to escape this place. Immediately. Meaning now.” She nodded her head pointedly toward the door.  
  
Sakura saw that the other two had already moved towards the exit and quickly placed a hand on Itachi’s cheek. “I’ll tell you later. At your house. In private. Okay?” she pleaded.  
  
“Hnn.” He nodded and allowed her to pull him up and away from the chair.  
  
As she led him through the office entrance, he stopped and pulled her against his chest. Leaning down he nuzzled her ear. “You just want the keys to Shiori,” he teased.  
  
The girl in his arms let out a half-hysterical giggle, then impulsively turned and hugged him. “Yes, that’s exactly it!” she murmured into his chest.  
  
“Uhg, you two!” Ino called back, halfway down the hall.  
  
Sasuke made a face. They didn’t clash. Why was he not surprised?  
  
Sakura grinned and pulled away from her... ah, dating guy? She grabbed his hand and tugged him along, careful to keep him walking in the middle of the hallway.

xXx

Not everyone knew that private driveways had no speed limits. However, it seemed to Kisame, whoever owned the scrap yard definitely knew about that little bonus.  
  
The dirt road was wide and flat, with walls of rusty chain-link fence and arcing barbed wire. He slowed down at the entrance of the compound, reached out to the metal post and hit the buzzer. The intercom crackled to life.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Yo! Is the drive clear?” Kisame yelled into the mike.  
  
The speaker spit static for a second and Hidan’s voice cut in and out. “Cra—Fucker.... Yeah.”  
  
That was all the blue boy needed to know. He withdrew his arm back through the window, shifted gears, adjusted his grip on the wheel, and gunned the engine.  
  
He loved testing his truck.  
  
Dust plumed up behind him as the spinning wheels dug for purchase and then the patchwork, thrumming mass of auto-engineering surged forward and thundered down the long curved stretch of bare packed earth.  
  
Deidara—getting a soda from the vending machine outside the office—dove out of the way and screamed about insanity when Kisame rounded the corner. As Kisame parked and shut off the engine, Deidara climbed to his feet and disappeared inside.  
  
Enraged screaming quickly followed.  
  
Deidara, hands wrapped around Hidan’s throat, shook the albino roughly, and that’s what Kisame walked in on. Kakuzu, off to the side, ignored them.  
  
Smirking at Deidara’s hissy fit, Kisame whistled cheerfully, and slumped into an armchair near the window. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back into the worn brown cushion and grinned.  
  
“Aah... I love this place,” his sighed blissfully.  
  
Hidan, bored with Deidara, kicked the blond in the stomach, sending him stumbling back into a folding chair next to the card table. “Aah, fuck off. I just fucking forgot, you idiot.”  
  
“I’m fucking killing you next time, un,” Deidara growled, rubbing his stomach.  
  
Kakuzu glanced up from his book long enough to make sure there was no property damage, then went back to ignoring them... and the fact that Hidan kept sending spit wads his way.  
  
...well, mostly ignored. After about two minutes, Kakuzu put down his book, picked up a plastic binder, and smacked Hidan upside the head. Hard. Hidan fell out of his chair and Kakuzu went back to reading.  
  
Kisame laughed as Hidan surged back to his feet. Deidara looked a little appeased by Kakuzu’s love tap.  
  
“You fucking piece of shit!” Hidan roared, one hand holding his ear. Despite how pissed he _sounded_ , though... he wasn’t even tense. Just standing around like normal.  
  
Nobody was surprised. Deidara picked up a paperclip and flicked it at Hidan, who flipped him off and sat back down. Kakuzu hadn’t reacted at all, and that meant he was in one of his _moods_... which meant Hidan shouldn’t bother him too much.  
  
“Pansy,” Deidara hissed, still slightly pissed about Hidan not warning him about Kisame. Which reminded him... The blond suddenly whirled on Kisame. “And you!” He sounded so much like a girl that Hidan fell out of his chair laughing. “You fucking ass! I coulda got run over, un!”  
  
The teenager who was still boneless in the armchair snorted. “You were standing next to the fucking brick of a can dispenser. I always clear that thing by a good two feet.”  
  
Deidara’s face got red and he opened his mouth, lifting a hand—on the palm, there appeared to be the doodle of a mouth—as if to reach out or something, and then—  
  
Kakuzu threw the folder at him, causing a pained yelp.

“Fucking—! OW, YOU JACKASS!!!” Deidara shrieked.  
  
Hidan flicked the paperclip back at the blond. “Chill the fuck out, or do we need to have Itachi put a leash on you?”  
  
“Speaking of,” Kisame spoke up. “Where is that bastard?” Usually, Itachi had impeccable timing and he appeared shortly after Kisame.  
  
He waited a beat, and then concluded that no one had heard him. Kakuzu had retreated back to his book and Deidara was back to screaming at Hidan.  
  
“Oi! Bitch!” Kisame heaved himself out of the armchair and took the two steps over to Deidara’s back.  
  
The blond whipped around and came nose to chest with blue boy.  
  
The bulky teen didn’t give him a chance to open his mouth. He shoved a hand onto Deidara’s face and pushed until the slighter male backpedaled into the wall, thudding into the thin plaster wall alongside Hidan.  
  
“Holy fuck, man!” Kisame growled. “Where the hell are your freakin’ meds?”  
  
“I fucking ran out!” Deidara retorted, reaching up and grabbing Kisame’s wrist, then tugged down with enough force to remove it. He didn’t try to fight the big teen; blue boy would kick his ass. The blond just bared his teeth, looking pissed off.  
  
“Guess it’s that time of the month,” Hidan quipped.  
  
That didn’t help Deidara’s current temper problem. At all. The blond surged forward at Hidan, only to be suddenly heaved into the air.  
  
Kakuzu had gotten tired of the racket. He walked out of the office and disappeared around a pile of metal scraps.

Hidan stood there, wide-eyed and pale, watching them go. “Oh shit.”  
  
Snorting, Kisame let his arm drop. He levelled a cool gaze on Hidan. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”  
  
Sharky turned around and threw himself back into the chair, then pointed at the albino. “Dei is going to hole himself up in his ‘artist’ cave for a bloody fucking _week,_ ” Kisame smirked and laughed, “and I’m telling Itachi it’s all your fault.”  
  
Hidan sputtered. “Wh-what?! How the hell is it my fucking fault!?” he demanded. “I can’t help it that he’s been all mooney and shit since—” He clapped his hands over his mouth. Oooh, Deidara was going to _kill_ him.  
  
Kisame didn’t move. Then he smiled. Swear to god, he had filed teeth too. “It’s your fault because you kept poking the bitch,” he said smoothly. “I had him pinned to the wall and you had to open your mouth,” he added.  
  
He watched Hidan blink at him. Then as the other man lowered his hands, Kisame continued. “So why is Dei so ‘mooney’?”  
  
Hidan cringed. “That guy is gonna fucking blow me up, Kisame. There’s no coming back from that, you fucking know that. He’ll fucking _blow_ my tattlin’ ass _up_.”

Kisame’s grin inched wider.

Hidan groaned. “Aw, fuck.” He sat down in the wheeled office chair he used, and scowled at Kisame. “Okay, you know how Dei and I’ve lived like a fucking block apart since like...” He paused, thinking back. “Like, fucking middle school or some shit, right?”  
  
The smirking ass nodded and settled further back into the armchair. “Yeah, sure. So?”

“Well, that fucking bitchy-ass blond was kicking cans down the goddamn street at three in the fucking morning last night. So, I went out, beat on his ass, and then told him to get his ass home. And he fucking _pouted_ at me.” He sneered. “Pansy ass.  
  
“And then he _confided_ in me, and I wanted to fucking throw up! Supposedly, that ass is going through fucking withdrawal. ‘ _It was gorgeous, un. So beautiful, un. You know the last time I blew up a building was, un?_ ’” He made a show of gagging.  
  
Kisame blinked. His eyebrows rose and he brought a hand up to cover his eyes. “ _Wow_ ,” was all he said before he began to snicker. He had rolled out of the chair, laughing all the way to the floor and was nearly crying by the time the snitch reacted.  
  
Hidan grinned. “It’s fucking pathetic. I thought he was gonna start spouting shit about Pinky, but _no_ , it’s a fucking building!” He cackled.  
  
Oh god, his ribs hurt. Sharky gasped for air and flopped onto his back, still hooting and holding his sides. “Aw, fuck man, that’s hilarious,” he agreed between wheezing breaths. “But I’m still telling Itachi.”  
  
Hidan picked up the discarded folder and heaved it at the guy. It bounced off Kisame’s chest harmlessly, and he scoffed. “Where the fuck _is_ Itachi?” he demanded, glancing out the half-open door.  
  
Chest heaving, Kisame didn’t bother lifting his head. “How the fuck should I know?” he asked the over-head light. “He should have been here already.”  
  
“Go find ‘im, then, fucktard,” Hidan retorted. “He’s _your_ best goddamn friend.”  
  
“But I’m comfortable!” he protested from the bare poured-concrete floor. “And I just got here.”  
  
“You want me to send fucking Kakuzu?” Hidan said pointedly, and Deidara—in the state he was in—was obviously not an option.  
  
Kisame lifted his head, eyes bright and grin wide. “I’d like to see how much you would have to pay the fucker to even consider it!”  
  
“I have my ways,” Hidan said, trying (and failing) to make it sound mysterious. “Anyway, just fucking find out where the hell that bitch is. It’ll calm the fuck down around here, and fucking Kakuzu’s gonna fucking kill someone.” This was punctuated by a scream from Deidara, and Hidan lifted a brow. “See, asshole?”  
  
The prone male snorted. “Sure Kakuzu is scary now, but what if I go out, find Itachi, and walk in on him fucking Pinky?” He thudded his head back down and gestured to the ceiling. “I’ll be dead. Itachi will be pissed. Sakura will be pissed. And you will be all alone to deal with these two bastards.”  
  
Kisame lifted his head again to smirk at Hidan. “With that in mind, I’m happy to leave Dei to Kakuzu.”  
  
Another scream immediately followed this remark.  
  
Hidan actually paused a beat to consider this. “... fucking text him, then,” he concluded. “Or don’t you know how to do that shit anymore?”  
  
Kisame lugged the binder at Hidan’s head.  
  
Hidan, not bothering to dodge, toppled backward out of the chair, taking the chair with him. The sound of his skull cracking on the ground followed. “Fuck.”  
  
Sighing, Sharky let his own head thud down onto the concrete. He dug into one pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Texting took half a minute: ‘ _whr_ _fuck r u_.’  
  
He shuffled around on the floor, pivoting on his tail bone, until his legs reached the chair Hidan’s legs were draped over. He kicked it.  
  
“You want me to text for a medic as well, you retard?” he asked the sprawled albino.  
  
“Fuck you,” Hidan replied, as if commenting on the weather. “I’ll go after work; I ain’t got fucking medical leave, asshole.”  
  
Kisame shrugged. Then his phone buzzed, glancing at the screen he blinked. That... was fast. Usually, Itachi ignored his phone until he was done doing whatever. Even when he wasn’t doing anything, he’d leave it for at least a few minutes. Kisame had _seen_ him do that.  
  
 _‘I’m busy at home with Sakura-chan. Sorry, I couldn’t make it out tonight! Tell the others? Thanx!’_  
  
What the fuck? Kisame almost laughed. Itachi had had his phone stolen by a girl!  
  
“That Itachi? Where the fuck is he?” Hidan demanded from his spot on the floor. Out in the junkyard proper, Deidara had fallen silent.  
  
Ah hell with it. Fuck his ribs and strained lungs. Blue boy started to snicker again. “Fucktard,” he wheezed, “got his fucking phone lifted!”  
  
Hidan scrambled to a sitting position, mouth open, and closed his mouth again as he swayed. “Shit... Ow...” He made a sound that was half whimper, half moan and clutched his head. “... who the fuck?” he managed through the sensations.  
  
“Dunno,” Kisame replied cheerfully. He looked at Hidan from the floor. He had curled up on his side and was carefully regulating his breathing. Shit—who knew laughter could hurt so much? “Whoever it is, she knows about Sakura, cuz she’s mentioned. Maybe that blonde chick.”  
  
“What blonde... ooohh, gods...” Hidan whimpered, unable to finish his sentence.  
  
Kakuzu chose that moment to walk through the door, sans Deidara. He quirked a brow at the two on the floor, and scowled at Hidan. “What have you done to yourself this time?”  
  
Hidan moaned in reply.  
  
Kisame pulled in a small breath and, grunting, levered himself into a sitting position. The rush of blood made him close his eyes and sway. “Oh, vertigo sucks balls.”  
  
He put out a hand and leaned forward, unconsciously mimicking Hidan’s slouch. Complete with head holding.  
  
Kakuzu sneered. “You two are morons. Do I need to call an ambulance?”  
  
“Fuck... no,” Hidan whimpered. “M’good. Gods... fuuuuuccckk.”  
  
As the last sounded closer to an aroused moan, Kakuzu sat down and debated getting a bottle of water from the vending machine. He looked at Kisame. “Do you know where Itachi is?”  
  
“I’m not his fuckin’ day planner,” Kisame muttered to his own crotch. He hadn’t bothered to look up. “Think he got his phone lifted.”  
  
Kakuzu perked at this and curiously stole Hidan’s phone from the desk (he had a free minutes plan). “Hmmm...” He sent a text and got a reply near immediately. He smirked. “Interesting.”  
  
His simple ‘ _Itachi?_ ’ had been replied to with: ‘ _I told Kisame to tell you guys I’m *busy*. With Sakura-chan. So *buzz off now_ *.’  
  
That was when Hidan passed out.  
  
Kisame saw the albino hit the floor from the corner of his eye. “Oops,” he said and snickered. “Oooooo,” he groaned.

xXx


	11. Kisame Reports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _What the hell? … Maybe Hidan and Deidara should be put on meds._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... Yes, it's been more than a year. Get prepared for an onslaught of updates, because I owe this crowd so friggin much.  
> Seriously - I'm so sorry for the lag!

The next day, Itachi was sprawled on the living room couch, listening to music, when Kisame was lead into the room by Mikoto. Sakura was due in any minute.

"What's wrong with you, anyway?" the Kisame asked, dropping a manila folder onto the wooden coffee table with a thud. He watched Itachi turn his head eyes closed.

Mikoto hovered longer than usual before going to get tea. Briefly, she recalled the glass-topped coffee table they'd once had in the living room. She also recalled the reason it was moved to the attic, less the glass. Sometimes, it sucked to have so much testosterone around the house...

"Yo?" Sharky leaned over and waved a hand at Itachi. "Hey fucker—" Itachi moved before Kisame blinked, but Blue Boy already knew what was coming.

The Uchiha's hand ghosted up Kisame's arm and then grabbed his  _ear_ , tweaking it painfully (anything much worse would be disrespectful to his mother). "Language," the Uchiha snarled, mood darker than usual.

"Nnnnngggh." Kisame half bent in the direction of Itachi's wrist. "I know! I know," he protested. "Let go."

Itachi released him and sat up. "Is that my homework?" he asked, gesturing vaguely toward the coffee table.

Rubbing his abused ear, Kisame slumped onto the couch next to his friend. "Yeah. There's a major Calculus project due in a week. How can Calculus have a project?" He paused to rest his strained lungs before continuing. "I mean, you just f—" the big guy cringed when Itachi's hand twitched. "Er, you just write down the numbers and calculate and stuff."

He leaned back into the cushions of the couch and rubbed a hand just under his sternum. "The rest is just the usual: stupid assignment packages." He closed his eyes.  _Ah, fuck. May as well get the news over with_.

"Um, Hidan's in for a concussion. Dei is... in for... uh, falling off a building."

xXx

Silence. Then Itachi frowned ever so slightly. "Falling off a building. Deidara is not the masochist, Kisame," he pointed out. He didn't fail to notice the minute he was out of commission, two of his friends were hospitalized.

"Hidan's fault," Kisame said quickly from his position further back on the couch. "All Hidan's fault." He chanced a chuckle, but cut off with a low moan.

"You're injured, Kisame. You didn't mention that." There was a warning in Itachi's tone, but he was somewhat mollified by amusement. Likely, the only person that got out of this—whatever 'this' was—uninjured would be Kakuzu.

The other boy snorted, then turned into the arm of the couch and  _whined_. He mumbled something into the pillows.

Itachi's eyelid quirked, the only sign of his surprise. "Kisame... what  _happened_?" he asked, brow wrinkling. Did someone go off in a rage and beat on everyone? Did Itachi have to take action? … What had Hidan  _done_?

Slowly, Kisame rolled around on the couch and sat up. "You don't want to know. Just—Hidan's an idiot, Deidara is a pussy, and Kakuzu is just touchy," he listed off. "And not in a good way," he muttered. Fuck, his diaphragm ached from even that little bit of talking. "We'll be fine," he wheezed, and flopped back on to the couch again.

Itachi sighed. Really?  _Really_? Not two, but  _three_  of his friends were injured, and he'd missed  _one_  afternoon. What the hell? … Maybe Hidan and Deidara should be put on meds.

"Very well," he muttered with another sigh. He frowned. How was he going to do his homework? Perhaps when Sakura got here, he'd try opening his eyes a little. They felt a little better this afternoon...

"Tea!" Mikoto chirped, returning to the room with a clinking tray.

"Thanks, Mikoto-san." Kisame levered himself into an upright sitting position, clutching his ribs, his breath hissed short controlled gusts.

As the two teenagers sat sipping tea, Kisame carefully exhaled and turned to his friend. He knew Itachi was worried, but it was really their own idiocy that had fucked themselves so badly.

"I'll tell you what happened tomorrow. I swear. Just not now." Kisame winced. "Definitely not now," he muttered. "The whole thing is so hilariously messed up; I'll laugh if I tell you," Kisame gulped down another hot mouthful of tea, "and right now, that's a  _really_ bad idea for me."

"Hnn." Itachi sat back and sighed. He was doing that a lot, actually. He should probably stop... "I need to do my homework," he mumbled, more to himself than his companion. He considered getting it done before Sakura arrived... though, she  _had_  expressed her desire to help.

His pride was telling him, he did not need her help. His head was telling his pride, it was being asinine and he should accept her help. Decisions, decisions...

While Itachi was thinking, Kisame managed to convince himself that maybe it was worth the risk to look at Itachi straight on.

Ever since Itachi had tweaked his ear, Kisame had been envisioning that very same disproving face looming over the rest of the group. Especially, after the black-eyed teen found out how Kisame got 'injured'. The idea of Itachi darting from guy to guy, tweaking ears to discipline the 'rowdy boys' had Kisame's whole body quivering with the need to laugh. At minimum, a chuckle.

 _Oooh, not going to happen_. He needed a distraction.

He looked at Itachi and opened his mouth to ask about the cell phone.

Itachi was scowling with his eyes were closed (he wasn't sure if Itachi had opened them at all the entire time Kisame had been here) and the teen looked like he wanted to kill something.

Or was faced with a room full of incompetents, who all deserved ear tweaking.

Kisame squeaked.

Itachi stiffened, his mouth falling open. He turned his head toward his friend, and slowly lifted an eyelid. "... Did you just squeak?"

Sharky had his eyes clamped shut, his lips pressed together, and he was literally trembling in his struggle for control. Itachi's incredulous tone snapped Kisame's eyes open enough to see his best friend gaping at him.

A snerk twisted his lungs, and Kisame gave up the fight.

He lost it. Gasping and groaning, and strangely enough a queer high-pitched hooting, Kisame clutched his sides and rolled into the arm of the couch, trying not to care that he hurt so much.

Fuck... What would Itachi look like when he found out what had happened yesterday? Probably beat them all bloody blue with a cricket bat. But would he be wearing that same disbelieving face? Kisame figured it may just be worth it the pain to get hospitalized now through his own stupid laughter than to get the beating Itachi would be dealing out later.

"Stop. Laughing," Itachi growled, tone deadly.

"It looks painful," Mikoto added from behind them.

Itachi did not jump. But he almost did. He'd forgotten his mother was there. "Kisame..."

The doorbell rang.

Kisame made a huge effort to stop laughing. Itachi was pissed. "Ohh," he groaned and sat up. He looked at his friend and plaintively asked, "Did you really need to sit there with your mouth open?" He slumped against the arm of the couch and closed his eyes. "I could be  _not_ hurting, if you just had not dropped your freakin' jaw."

Itachi twitched, vaguely hearing the sound of his mother answering the door. "Hnn," was the only reply he gave.

Footsteps approached, and Sakura stepped into the room. She smiled. "Oh, Kisame-kun. Hi!" She waved, slowly making her way around the couch to sit in the armchair to Itachi's immediate right.

Kisame felt Itachi's weight shift and he opened his eyes to see Sakura give Itachi a worried look. He waved at her and tried to smirk, but it probably came out more of a grimace. She shot him a look that turned worried as well.

"Hi Sakura-chan," Kisame said lowly. Then he blinked. Oh yeah. He turned to Itachi, "Hey, did your cell phone get lifted?"

The black-haired teen tilted his head and turned to face his best friend. "No," he replied.

Sharky frowned and sat up. "But, I texted you last night. I got a real girly message back..." He peered at his friend. Itachi really  _wasn't_ opening his eyes. "You sure you got it with you?"

"He has his phone," Sakura said, quirking a brow. "Why wouldn't he? Hell, why would he let someone steal it?" She snorted. She didn't mention that Ino had jacked the thing last night, and that Sakura had been doing the replies whenever Ino didn't have it.

Itachi almost turned his head to face Sakura, but realized that if the conversation continued, he would look like an idiot turning his head back and forth. He grunted and relaxed back into the couch. Issue solved.

 _What the fuck?_  Kisame looked from his friend to Pinky and frowned. "No offense, Sakura-chan, but I wasn't asking you." He turned back to Itachi. "I sent a text asking where you were last night..."

He fumbled at a pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "I got a text back like I said..." He thumbed a few buttons and pulled up the message. Then he held it out to Itachi. "Here—it came from your phone and it definitely wasn't you."

The teenager in the middle stiffened. Then he sighed. If Kisame was right, then he needed to know that his phone was gone. He hadn't touched the thing since coming back from after school. It should still be in his jacket.

He reached out and Kisame helpfully placed the phone right into his hand. Itachi smirked. If only life were so easy. In a manner much like Kisame, Itachi took a careful breath, and slowly opened his right eye.

Sakura was wearing that polite smile when he glanced in her direction. Meaning A) she was guilty, or B) she was pissed. Or maybe C) all of the above. "I was helping out. Uh... and Hidan may have gotten a text from Ino. I'm not sure if I was able to cancel it in time." Her smile turned sheepish.

Itachi and Kisame both lifted a single eyebrow. Sakura found it rather unsettling the two men had the exact same reaction.

The single black eye turned to the phone in his hands and quickly scanned the information that was on the screen. He had to grit his teeth and hold the phone close, but it was possible.

Kisame blinked. Itachi was looking at his phone with one eye closed. And the guy was squinting. "Yo, what's up with your eyes? That one looks really messed up."

Sakura twitched.  _Be cool, Sakura. You are in the Uchiha house, and you should be polite, if only so you can keep yourself on Mikoto-san's good side_ , Inner Sakura said slowly.  _But_ , she continued after a beat,  _when you and Kisame have time away from the house, KICK HIS ASS!_

The pink haired girl made a face; she definitely needed medication for this. Hell, she needed her head checked for all of this! If she hadn't gone and gotten interested in sexy Itachi, none of this would have happened.

And then, on the tail end of that thought;  _but Sasuke is so much happier these days, and Itachi-kun is a_ _great_ _guy, and while Naruto's an ass, he is starting to cope_. He'd even apologized to her in front of the whole cafeteria earlier! (Granted, he was skipping class to do so, but still, it was the thought that counted.)

Still slouched into the cushions, Itachi turned to face Kisame and handed back the phone. Opening the one eye hadn't grated as much as he had expected and it felt nice to have  _some_  vision. He slowly opened the left eye and waited for Blue Boy's reaction.

The breath whooshed out of bruised lungs and Kisame stilled. Fuck, so this was why the bastard was keeping his eyes closed. The blue teen leaned a little closer, taking in the burst capillaries and scratched corneas.

He whistled low. "I heard Naruto got in a hit, but I was thinking he managed to kick you in the fucking shin."

Itachi twitched and growled, "Language, Kisame."

"Aa—sorry." Kisame went back to peering at his friend's eyes as they stared back at him. "How bad?"

The other boy shrugged. "Scratches, three-quarters of my vision. Temporary." Itachi closed his eyes; they were beginning to sting.

Kisame flopped into the couch next to him. "Daaaamn," he drawled. "That's shitty luck."

Itachi sat up and snapped open his eyes. He could barely make out the general shape of his friend, but it was enough. He whapped his best friend upside the back of the head. "Language," he hissed.

"Ow..."

Sakura's brows drew up, but she didn't comment. "We should start our homework..." she suggested carefully. "Will you be joining us, Kisame-kun?" She smiled sweetly at him.

Kisame ruefully rubbed the spot Itachi had nailed. He was getting way too many places that needed rubbing. "Sure," Sharky said, shrugging. "The more the merrier." He cringed.  _I think Itachi rattled something loose in there. 'More the merrier'_?

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are probably mistakes in there, but, in the interests of just getting this story going, I'm just going to ignore those for now.


	12. Ring that Doom Bell one more time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Say... I heard from a girl that you're rather large... care to pose?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter... it cracks me up. Warning: SO MUCH to laugh at!

Shizune sighed and set down the last of the paperwork, then smiled at the boy and his adoptive father sitting across from her. "All done!" she said cheerfully. "Welcome back, Hozuki-kun!"

The white-haired boy shrugged, and smirked. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

His adoptive father gave him an amused look, and then smiled at Shizune. "You're Tsunade-chan's friend, aren't you? Does she still live in town?"

Shizune nodded carefully. "Yes, Orochimaru-kun, she does." Her gaze turned to the teenager. "You'll be starting classes tomorrow morning. I hope you'll enjoy being back."

"Oh, it's already real nice, Shizune-san!" he replied cheerfully. "I can't wait to see all of my old friends again."

"I'm sure that'll be great!" she said. "Oh, you should see Sakura. I'm sure she hasn't seen you in a while, Hozuki-kun. She would probably love hearing from you."

The boy smirked. "Heh! I bet! And please, Shizune-san, it's just Suigetsu, huh? That'd make me more comfortable."

"Of course. Did you need anything else?"

Orochimaru stood, and Suigetsu did the same. "No, Shizune-chan. Do tell Tsunade-chan I'm in town, mm? It'll be lovely to hear from her."

She smiled and watched the two walk out. Tsunade was going to be pissed.

xXx

Art class was always interesting. Near the back of the room, Sasori, Deidara and Sumi Sai were arguing over forms of art. The project of the day was surrealism, and Deidara had promptly sketched out an explosion.

Sasori was arguing that an explosion, being an actual physical occurrence, was  _not_  surreal.  _He_  had drawn a puppet. Deidara was arguing that  _that_  wasn't surreal either, and no, it did not matter  _what_  the puppet was doing (climbing upside down stairs), it was still a damn puppet.

The only reason the argument hadn't gotten worse was because Deidara was bandaged up in various places and didn't want to get even  _more_  injured.

Sai, of course, was the only one that had actually done the project without any oddities. He'd drawn a creature—perhaps a shark—transforming into fellow student Hoshigaki Kisame. … Okay, maybe 'without any oddities' was the wrong term...

Luckily, Kisame did not have art class.

After three solid minutes of arguing, Deidara screamed that Sasori was an idiot and then started drawing on his paper again. Sasori made a face, decided arguing with the lunatic was a waste of his time, and turned to put the finishing touches on his paper.

Sai smirked and added a bulge to his shark-Kisame's pants.

xXx

Meanwhile, Calculus was just as entertaining; Kakuzu—no longer in a bad mood—had complained twice about his lab partner—Tobi—before stuffing the boy in the trashcan.

He had then turned in his paper—it would go on to get a 100 percent grade—and walked himself to the principal's office.

Tobi was later escorted to the nurse's office.

xXx

Second period Calculus was par for the course—Itachi's homework was turned in, and Kisame failed spectacularly at trying to skip class. He was brought to the principal's office and quirked a brow at Kakuzu. "What're you doing here?"

"Ten bucks."

"Oh forget it," the shark boy retorted, and sat down. Kakuzu was shortly called in.

xXx

In Geometry at that moment, Sakura was putting every scrap of patience she had to the test in a group with Naruto, Aburame Shino, and Inuzuka Kiba. The only things that kept her from losing her temper were the facts that she was in school, and that Shino was  _really_  trying to help out.

"No, you retard!" she hissed at Kiba. "Squares don't have circumferences, got it?!"

Kiba paled and wondered why Sakura-chan was so much more violent than normal. It must be her new posse. "Yeah..." he mumbled.

"Eh, Sakura-chan, I don't get this," Naruto said two minutes later.

Sakura's head hit the desk, and Shino calmly stated, "She just explained it." Sakura held up two fingers, and he translated. "Twice."

xXx

In Japanese at that moment, Taka Karin was talking Sasuke's ear off. "...so I told her we shouldn't have to, but she  _never_  listens to what I say..."

Sasuke was trying desperately to ignore her, but with only the teacher and Shikamaru for distraction (the latter of which was sleeping on his desk), it was turning out to be a failed effort. And then she said something that caught his attention.

"...and oh! Did you know that Suigetsu's returned? I couldn't believe it! It..."

Sasuke was rapidly paling. Only three people knew about the connection between Sakura and Suigetsu, and he was the third.

xXx

Third period was interesting. Ino and Choji got into a sing-off in Choir, which was scary. No one knew what to think of Choji singing like that.

Well, the sing-off turned into a duet and the teacher gushed over them both, saying they should be the main singers for the Fall show.

xXx

Third period English wasn't boring either. Hyuuga Hinata finally got the courage to say more than five words to Naruto.

"Hello, Naruto-kun. I hope you have-"

Naruto turned to look at her with a bright smile. Hinata fainted. But, the rumor would be that she'd broken her record; she'd said six whole words!

xXx

Sasuke, in third period Calculus, was nearly asleep in his seat. Well, until Hatake-sensei whacked him upside the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"Sasuke-kun, please go up to the board and solve the problem," Kakashi said cheerfully, tucking the newspaper into his back pocket.

Sasuke shook his head to clear it, and got to his feet. Once he stood before the whiteboard, he peered closely at the problem. X to the third power minus one, over parenthesis X minus one to the second power.

After a beat, he picked up a dry erase marker and scrawled down his answer. Parenthesis X minus one, parenthesis X to the second power plus X plus one over parenthesis X minus one parenthesis X minus one.

Kakashi gave him a blank look, then smiled. "Very good! Now sit down and pay attention."

Sasuke smirked and sat down. That was the nice thing about math; you didn't generally  _need_  to pay attention.

xXx

Hidan, fourth period, sat in the nurse's office, peering at Tobi. He knew Kakuzu's work when he saw it, and wondered what the other male had done to piss the sadist off.

Then he hissed in pain as the nurse pulled the last staple out of his hand. "Honestly, how do these things happen to you?" the woman muttered irritably.

Hidan looked at the bad-tempered blonde. "Eh. It was an accident?"

"Idiot." She would have hit him upside the head, but she'd been informed of his concussion. Honestly, she didn't even know why he was here. Or Toji. Luckily, Uchiha had been smart enough to stay home. His friends didn't appear to share his brain capacity...

Hidan opened his mouth, but thankfully (for his health), Tobi fell off his bed and distracted them at that moment.

He would live to see another day.

xXx

For fourth period, Sasuke had Chemistry, and in his class was Karin (again), as well as his old friend Suigetsu. He hadn't talked to the boy since Sakura and him broke up and Hozuki moved away.

Now the guy was just being annoying.

"...been  _so_  long since I've seen those knockers, Karin. You know, they've gotten bigger," Suigetsu was saying to the bespectacled redhead.

She twitched and scowled at him. "Do you have  _no_  survival instinct, Suigetsu?" she demanded irately.

Suigetsu made a face. "You still have a horrible personality, though."

Rolling his eyes, the black-eyed boy leaned back and threw an eraser at white hair.

"Hey! What was that for?"

Sasuke looked into guileless violet eyes and snorted. "Shut up." He turned back to his books.

Suigetsu glowered at Sasuke and flipped him off behind his back, only to have Karin, who'd seen it, smack him hard enough to send him toppling out of his chair.

"Hozuki, Taka, what  _are_  you two doing?" Kurenai-sensei demanded from the front, where she was grading papers (while  _they_  were supposed to be  _doing_ a paper).

Both looked up at her with wide eyes. "Nothing!" they chorused sheepishly.

Suigetsu climbed back into his chair, scowling at Karin, as Kurenai-sensei sighed and went back to work. "Oi, watch the abuse, wouldja?"

From the far side of the table, the younger Uchiha brother snapped the lead on his mechanical pencil—for the fourth time. Grinding his teeth, he clicked out more lead and tried again to focus on the paper in front of him.

"I'll show you abuse, you belligerent little pain in the—"

" _Taka_ ," Kurenai-sensei snapped, as Karin's voice had been slowly raising as she spoke. "Cool it, or go out in the hall!"

Karin grit her teeth and looked pointedly down at her paper. A brief moment of silence followed, then, "Hey, y'know, last night, I found this really soft—"

 _Whack_! Somehow, Karin managed to be innocently looking down at her paper when Kurenai-sensei looked up at the soft sound. Suigetsu was holding his head on one side, around the area of his ear, and Karin was scribbling down on her paper furiously. Kurenai-sensei, without any proof, went back to grading.

Sasukes brow twitched and his lips thinned, but he kept his eyes down on his own paper as he stubbornly wrote out the answers. Oh crap... that answer didn't make sense. He traced up the equation and found the missed step.

The pale boy sighed. He'd have to erase half of the steps. He reached for his eraser and placed his hand on empty counter. Where... Oh. Sasuke closed his eyes and called himself three types of stupid: Naruto, Lee, and Suigetsu. Fuck, he had thrown his eraser at the latter.

Karin suddenly glanced at him and saw him glaring at the counter like it had offended him. "Sasuke-kun?" she whispered. "You okay?"

A long string of offensive language came muttering out of the usually calm boy's mouth. Sasuke lifted his head, continuing his irritated litany, and aimed a furious glare at the boy on the far end.

After a few more seconds of wide ranging and improbable suggestions of sexual nature, Sasuke broke off and muttered out, "Suigetsu, I need my eraser back."

Suigetsu smirked and waved the little white rubber square. "What, this?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, that." Sasuke's gaze turned flat.

Suigetsu eyed the eraser thoughtfully. "I thought you didn't want it, since you threw it at me and all..." he mused, almost as if just to himself.

Karin was twitching between the boys.

Uchiha calmly let one eyebrow rise. "Karin."

Suigetsu only had time to squeak before she abruptly smacked him, snagged the eraser, and held it out to Sasuke like gold for a king. She smiled sweetly. "Here you go, Sasuke-kun."

Gifting her with a slight smirk, the smug boy took the eraser back. "Thank you, Karin," he said softly. "Now think up something good." He then began to eradicate part of his problem, using the eraser.

Karin blinked at him, then noticed Kurenai-sensei was frowning straight at them.

"Crap," she squeaked, watching the teacher narrow her eyes and start to get up.

"Taka," Kurenai-sensei said as she approached. "Hozuki? Care to explain?"

Suigetsu opened his mouth, but Karin was immediately sinking into her role. "Oh, Kurenai-sensei! I'm so sorry. I may have overreacted..." she mumbled, looking down in shame, but then she looked back up again, gaze pleading. Though not ridiculously so.

"You see," she said, and paused to bite her lip. Her gaze slid accusingly toward Suigetsu. "The boys didn't bring erasers, so I was sharing mine, and Suigetsu was using it... But then Sasuke-kun asked to use it and I was like 'sure' and turned to  _Suigetsu_... But he was being mean and wouldn't let me have it!"

Kurenai-sensei's brows arched and she turned to look at Suigetsu. "Hozuki-kun?"

"Arck..." was all he managed, as Karin was leaning her weight on his toes behind the table.

Kurenai-sensei looked at Karin, who was frowning at Suigetsu, and then Sasuke. "Uchiha?"

Sasuke slowly lifted his head and gave the teacher a steady gaze. "He is being a nuisance," he stated, and dropped his attention back to the problem he had just about finished with.

Kurenai-sensei frowned even more. That didn't actually tell her anything, really... She sighed, and as Suigetsu was declining comment in favor of looking guilty (though it could have been pain, she mused), she decided she still hadn't much proof and turned away. "Leave her eraser alone," she tossed over her shoulder.

Karin let up on Suigetsu's foot and he whimpered. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Problem solved, Sasuke thought smirking down at the paper. Now if he could just finish this equation...

"Karin, you're a bitch," Suigetsu hissed, holding his foot.

Karin growled, opening her mouth to yell at him... and spotted Kurenai-sensei peering at her through her lashes. Karin growled again and subsided, leaving Suigetsu looking shocked. He prodded Karin in the side, brushing her breast, and she reacted like an erupting volcano.

"SUIGETSU, YOU JERK!" she screeched, grabbing her text and bringing it down on his head.

Behind her, the lead on Sasuke's pencil broke again.

The boy stared at the equation on the paper. Then slowly put his pencil down. He stood up, pushing the stool back with a dull scrape. He looked the red-eyed Kurenai in the eye and clenched his jaw.

Sasuke stiffly gathered his papers, books, pencil case (and eraser), and moved himself to the empty spot next to Sai.

Kurenai stomped over to Karin and Suigetsu, then dragged them both from the room. Silence descended, and peace. Beside him, Sai glanced over, notably toward the Uchiha's crotch.

"Say... I heard from a girl that you're rather large... care to pose?" the boy asked, empty smile in place.

The newly self-relocated student swung a flat stare at his new table mate. Then he looked at the door Kurenai had walked out of. "Will you shut up for the rest of the class?"

Sai perked, not having expected even close to a positive answer. "Yes, yes I will," he said, and eagerly dug a sketchpad from his bag.

Sasuke sighed and stood up again. He turned to face the back wall, quietly unzipped and reached in through the opening. "The things I have to do to get a decent education," he muttered before 'posing'.

Sai peered over his shoulder (the other side of the room, a fangirl happened to glance over and fainted). "Hmmm..." There was a few seconds that passed filled only with the sounds of Sai sketching. Then he tapped Sasuke on the shoulder. "Done. Naruto's bigger," he mused.

Carefully tucking himself back in, the model smirked. "Not when I'm hard, he isn't," he replied smoothly. "You should take up sports."

Sai leered as Sasuke sat back down. "I'm big... on football," he said, pausing just long enough to be suggestive. He eyed Sasuke a beat, then smirked. "If you want, I could totally help you with your erectile dysfunction problem." He wiggled his brows.

Sasuke sighed and thudded his forehead down on the table. "One, fans do not get into the showers. Two, you are the wrong sex to even suggest that. Three, you said you would shut up."

"Didn't say 'when'," Sai replied, but subsided. He was sketching some more. … It appeared to be some evolved form of his Kisame shark.

xXx

The current of student bodies pushed Sakura down the hall and she simply followed the students in front of her through the halls. Beside her, Tenten was chatting excitedly about some talent show coming up, while behind her a male voice belonging to a rather tall guy was complaining about the prices at the cafeteria.

The two girls were trotting down the West Left Wing staircase when a hand belonging to the other side of traffic reached out and hauled her bodily out of the flow.

"Hey!" Sakura gritted her teeth and took the abuse and the complaints that erupted as she was pulled through the moving students and shoved into the corner of the staircase landing.

Wincing at the glare she was levelling on him, Sasuke let go of her wrist. "Suigetsu's back," he said, in placation.

She blinked. "I know," she replied, then frowned. "Karin and Ino have been gossiping all day." She sighed and shifted her shoulder sack to the opposite shoulder. Really, she couldn't stay irritated with Sasuke, since he'd only wanted to make sure she knew. Make sure she would be alright... "I'll be fine, Sasuke-kun. Don't worry," she assured him, and smiled.

"He may talk, you know," Sasuke warned. Suigetsu wasn't exactly one to keep his conquests to himself. Frankly, the Uchiha was amazed that it wasn't already out.

Sakura bit her lip at that, but she knew he was right. "I know," she repeated, pinching the bridge of her nose. Would Itachi-san get upset? Probably not. But still... he might have mixed feelings... and then Naruto... "Make sure that if Naruto finds out, he doesn't go looking for another fight, okay?"

Her friend snorted and, as Tenten pushed her way over to them, he said, "As if I can stop him. He probably already knows. He went after Itachi because the bastard was interested in you. Suigetsu—" he cut himself off, eying the other students.

Sakura sent a glare toward a lingering freshman, satisfied when the gawker hurried on. "Yeah, I know." She seemed to be saying that a lot. She smiled at Sasuke. "Well, if he starts talking about it, tell him to come talk to  _me_  first, hm?"

Sasuke flashed her a fierce grin. "Definitely." He shrugged his bag up higher on his shoulder, nodded to the brunette, and then stepped back into the rush of students.

Sakura waved as he left, then smiled at Tenten. "C'mon. Sensei'll be annoyed if we're late," she said cheerfully.

Falling into step beside her pink-haired friend, Tenten leaned in and half-whispered, "So who is Suigetsu? I've been hearing rumours all morning!"

xXx

What is this stuff? Shika forced a plastic fork into the congealing mass of pasta. The lady at the hot food counter had called it linguine and left it at that.

He lifted the tangled, clumpy knot of... green... and peered at it. Pasta was supposed to be pale beige, maybe yellow or white... not pale brownish  _green_. The sauce was normal, a regular white alfredo powder mix, but it didn't mask the fact that the entire thing looked like something a cat had puked up.

"Ugh."

Ino had brought a bento and was sitting there eating it, a period late, while Choji was munching away on a bag of chips to her left. She glanced across the quad and perked, watching Sasuke approach with a tray in his hand. "Hi Sasuke-kun!" she chirped cheerfully, getting a noncommittal grunt in reply.

"Anyone want my 'linguine'?" he asked, the quotation audible.

Even Choji shook his head and Ino snickered. "Why do you guys even bother?" she asked, motioning toward the trays in front of them, then her obento. "It's probably better to bring your own..."

Sasuke scowled and sat down next to Shikamaru who was still morbidly studying his lunch. "Sometimes they have decent food," the Uchiha said grudgingly.

Shaking his head, the Nara boy frowned down at his lunch. "You'd think we'd have figured the system was flawed when the hot food counter has solid metal instead of the clear glass other schools have." He sighed. "Troublesome."

Ino snickered. "Use your brain, Shikamaru," she replied, and took a bite of her rice.

"Home-cooked food is better anyway," Choji said with conviction, pulling another chip from his store-bought bag.

The irony was not lost on the blonde, who nearly choked as she fought to swallow and giggle at the same time.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Shika had coaxed a single strand of pasta on to a fork and grimaced. It was a sad looking noodle, over cooked and bloated, it was covered in gunky sauce that was more of a cottage cheese texture (when was powder mix supposed to be  _chunky?_ ) than anything else.

Eh... odd things sometimes tasted okay, Shika reasoned. He slurped up the pasta. The others at the table had stopped talking and were staring at him expectantly. He obligingly chewed.

"It's... okay. I guess," Shika announced. Then blinked. He looked at the pasta in his plate again. Paled, and said in a faint voice, "Or maybe not. No, don't eat it."

He stood quickly and walked over to the garbage can and dumped the whole plate in.

As he was turned to walk back, Kisame came staggering out of the same bushes he was in the last time they were in the quad.

Red faced and holding his sides, the blue teenager wrapped an arm around the disgruntled Shikamaru's shoulders. "I love you, man," he gasped, tears coming out of the corners of his eyes. "But damn... that was disgusting."

The younger boy paled even further and muttered, "You don't know the half of it."

At which point, Hidan could be heard cackling in the bushes. "Tentacles! Oh my fucking god, Kisame! You're messed up!"

Ino blinked. "Eh? What about tentacles?" she asked, confused.

Seeing the pasta in a whole new light, Sasuke slowly pushed it away with one finger. "I'm... not hungry," he decided, making a face.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Oh, honestly," she grumbled. "What are you guys doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be in gym? Gai-sensei'll come looking for you again, you know."

Hidan had crept up behind her and now covered her mouth. "Not a  _fucking_  word, blondie," he said, grinning.

She turned red, out of a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

"Ehh..." Choji ate another chip, and refrained from further comment.

Sasuke wasn't paying attention. He stood up and looked around the quad. "Hey, where's Naruto?"

Shikamaru frowned and looked at the normally calm Uchiha. "He knows we were meeting here today." He shrugged. "Maybe he saw the food and went to beg lunch from Iruka-sensei."

"Actually," Ino said slowly. "I saw him heading toward East Wing earlier, on my way here. He's got first period Chemistry there, so I figured he left something behind and would catch up..." She pouted. "Obviously not."

Hidan popped his neck and leaned back, yawning. "Doesn't that Suigetsu fucktard have Chemistry this period? Or was that last...?"

Ino turned toward him, shaking her head. "Nope. He had it last period with Sasuke-kun. Karin told me."

"Eh, what the fuck ever," the zealot grumbled.

Scowling and muttering to himself about pointless promises, Sasuke left the plate of questionable edibles and started to jog in the direction of the East Wing.

"Sasuke-kun?" Ino called after him.

The departing boy didn't look back and sprinted through the entrance, dodging students as he went.

Blinking, Shika struggled out from under Kisame's arm. "I wonder what's with him?"

Beside him, Sharky shrugged. Hidan over by Ino opened his mouth. And there was a shout from a second story window over-looking the quad.

"Hoshigaki! Jashin!"

Both teenagers bolted the same way Sasuke had gone.

Ibiki came charging through twenty seconds later.

"Ibiki-sensei?" Ino gasped as he came to a halt before them.

"Where'd they go?" the counselor asked, scowling and looking around.

Ino opened her mouth to talk, but Shikamaru was about five steps ahead. "Ibiki-sensei," he said, catching the man's attention. "They ran off toward the cafeteria." He pointed in the opposite direction that the others had gone.

The counselor nodded to him and took off for the cafeteria, and Choji continued munching his chips. "You think you'll get in trouble?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "No. Those two are well-practiced in avoiding Ibiki-sensei. It's legendary."

Shika plopped down in his seat and sighed. "It doesn't matter. Ibiki-sensei cannot make my life any harder than Kisame in Biology class."

"You share a class with that psycho?" The blonde made a face.

"I didn't know either until Sakura got noticed by Itachi," he groused, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Then Hoshigaki showed up at class and made Kiba sit with Sasori." Shika shoved his face into his crossed arms. "It was awful."

Choji frowned. "Is 'e mean to you?" he asked around a mouthful of food.

Ino grimaced. "Don't talk with your mouth full!" she admonished.

The other boy groaned. "No, he's friendly." Shika mumbled into his arms. "So friendly that he talks non stop all period long: girls, sex, body parts, dating, hotels, porn..." He trailed off.

Ino looked at him in horror, while Choji just shrugged. "Least you don't have Japanese History with Sasuke and Naruto." He paused to chew and swallow. "I think Naruto is the only person capable of getting Sasuke to yell."

Snorting, Shikamaru looked up and grinned at Choji. "Probably because Sasuke wants to let off steam. Karin sits next to him in second period and he can't yell at her."

"And fourth," Ino inserted, grinning. "He  _really_  has it rough."

"We have choir with her," Choji mumbled. "So I don't blame him." He shuddered.

"Oooh, Ino-chan~" a familiar voice chirped.

They all looked up to see Sai wandering over, a big, fake grin on his face. "Guess what I drew?"

Lowering his head back into his arms, Shikamaru just barely saw Ino cautiously look at Sai's sketchbook. His eyes were already closing as the blonde's mouth gaped open. Whatever was in that book, he didn't want to know.

"Sai!" yelped the blonde. "Did you peek at him in the showers during PE?!" she demanded, her face showing horror, though her cheeks were flushed. She stole another glance at the sketchbook.

Sai leered. "How'd you know it was his?"

Her mouth snapped shut, and her face got even redder. Choji, curious, paused in his eating. "What is it?"

Sai held out the sketch book. Choji blinked a few times. "Eh... issat... what I think it is...?"

Sai winked and held a finger up to his lips, smirking. "If you mean a di—"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Ino yelled, covering his mouth. "Not a word, you peeking pervert!"

Sai leaned back, and he was just tall enough that with the motion, she couldn't reach his mouth anymore. "What, you mean di—"

"No!" she screeched, taking a half step forward and leaning over to cover his mouth.

This, of course, made it so that she was leaning  _against_  him, and his grin proved that this had been the point. "Not. A. Word," she growled.

The pale boy stood very still and, under her pressed fingers, moved his lips. "Mi mmo mff mooo mmmaay mi mifff mm mm mimem mi momerrr."

She glared suspiciously at him. "Don't you dare say it, perv, or I'll sic Sakura on you." He merely blinked at her, so she slowly lifted her hand, about an inch, and let it hover. "Now what was that?"

He licked his lips for a moment and pursed them a few times, then cleared his throat. "I said, 'I won't if you stay like this for a little bit longer'."

Silence, then, "'Like this'?" She blinked, then abruptly realized that she was pressed against him, face inches away. Her cheeks flushed and she hesitated.… Well, what was a word? And she jerked back, slapping him hard on the cheek. "PERVERT!"

Shikamaru looked up to watch Sai smile, rub his cheek and say, "Thank you." Then the artist took a seat on the cement next to Shika and started sketching.

Against his better judgement, the pony-tailed boy leaned over to look at the concentric circles Sai was drawing. "Are those topographic lines?" Both boys had taken geography earlier that year.

The lines were thicker around the outer edges of the large circle, then were spaced out further and then grew thicker at a point close to the middle.

Without pausing, Sai shook his head. "This is more of a pressure map."

Still fuming, Ino perked. "A treasure map?"

"No, it's a pressure map," Sai corrected her.

"Well, what the heck is a 'pressure map'?" she demanded, propping her hands on her hips to scowl at him.

Sai turned towards her and flipped the paper to show her the two circles. "A pressure map is to show how much pressure has been applied over a surface area. Each ring signifies a different degree of force that has been applied."

The boy took his pencil and pointed to the tighter lines. "See here at the outer edges of your boobs? There they did not really press into me that much, but then over a surface of less than an inch, they pressed very firmly."

Ino's eye twitched. She drew in a breath, her hands shaking as she slowly lifted them, but he barely noticed and continued lecturing. Choji scooted back so his chips wouldn't get ruined, and Shikamaru paled.

His pencil tapped the smaller cluster of rings near the center. "You must not be wearing a bra today, Ino-san," he told her calmly. "Even with your boobs flat against me with all that pressure, your nipples were still noticeably—"

Ino made a sound, like that of an enraged animal, and lunged for his throat. Choji yelped and rolled away, Shikamaru mimicked him. And Sai plucked her right out of the air, one handed, and deposited her where he'd just been sitting.

"Was it something I said?" he asked, blinking.

Ino, momentarily surprised at how easily he'd dealt with her, growled. "I'm going to  _neuter_  you," she snarled, and dove at him from her half-seated position.

He backed up a few steps, barely avoiding her fingers, with wide eyes. "Ino-san, you shouldn't be so violent! You might injure yourself and damage the mercha—"

She growled again, scrambling to her feet and running after him. Sai kept backing up away from her, occasionally doing this little spin to get back towards his bag. "Ino-san, this is most unbeco—"

Her fingers snagged the collar of his shirt. "Oh shit," he said, right before she dragged him to the ground and buried her foot in his crotch. He grunted, but appeared unfazed.

Choji, watching the display like a spectator sport, leaned over and said to Shikamaru, "I heard that after Sakura-chan got him there last year, he wears a cup."

Snorting, Shikamaru looked at Sai with narrowed eyes. "He's not stupid. I think, he just has different priorities than us."

"Maybe he just likes to share and expects others to share as well?" Choji offered.

Shika shrugged. "Who knows?"

Sai rolled out from under Ino's assault, jumped to his feet and caught her around the waist. Then he slung her over his shoulder and wandered idly over to the others, apparently oblivious to the hands pounding his back and the enraged shrieks.

"I have a wild one," he quipped, smiling. "Maybe I should convince her to pose for me? She's very hot."

"No  _way_  am I posing for you, you freak!" she shrieked. "Put me down!"

"As you wish," he said, and dropped her onto the pile of their bags.

She let out an outraged shriek, but thankfully—for Sai—murder was prevented by the ringing of the bell. "Whoops," Sai said. "Time for PE... with  _Sasuke-kun_." He waved, beamed and ran away before she could get up.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke's posing: yes, we went there. We changed the actual phrasing for the sake of the rating; the unedited version is on my blog. A difference of maybe five words. No big deal.


	13. One Bored Shark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're going to make perverted references no matter what I say, aren't you."

"Okay, gentlemen, and lady," Shiranui-sensei nodded to a ridiculously tiny girl in the back of the room, "We are on week two, day  _three_  of our project month." He waved a hand around the large, 20' by 40' room, particularly towards the various projects carefully stowed near the back half. "That  _means_... stop listening to me and get to work." He grinned and waved them off, amidst a chorus of chuckles.

Deidara was giggling excitedly. Aside from Art—and perhaps even that—this was his favorite class. "Oooh, yeah! C'mon, let's get the stuff."

Sasori huffed, already heading toward the other half of the room. "Shut up," he replied, and knelt beside the bottom framework of their trebuchet. "Kisame?"

Kneeling by the other side of the metal monster, Sharky was frowning down at the joint he was holding on to. "Hey..." He tapped the side of one of the brackets. "This one's welded solid."

Hearing Kisame's words, Sasori blinked at him. "They are supposed to be welded. How else would it hold together?"

Blue boy gave him a look. "We haven't gotten all the pieces put together yet. If we made a mistake in the measurements, we need to be able to pull it apart to adjust."

Banging a knuckle against the joint, Kisame continued. "If it's welded, "adjusting" would be a pain in the ass."

"Pick up the thing and move, Shark boy," Sasori snorted. "I double checked everything already and Shiranui-sensei cleared it. We only welded that one joint."

"Huh," Kisame grunted and lifted. As they were moving it across the floor, he asked, "When did you do this?"

Smirking, Sasori shifted his shoulders in a careful shrug. "That time Gai and Ibiki caught your ass skipping."

"Oi, hurry up, un!" Deidara said from the work bench, scowling at them. He had looped his hair up a second time so it wouldn't get caught while they were working, and the effect made him even girlier than normal.

Sasori shook his head as they reached the bench and carefully set the frame down on the floor.

Deidara was scanning the blueprints, frowning. "Man... Itachi made changes again," he complained. He didn't bother pointing out that they were  _accurate_ changes, as that would be obvious. "Now I have to go back over the material..."

"Stop whining," Sasori retorted, straightening and going to stand by him. "What changes did he make?"

Deidara pouted, letting them see the papers. "Well, _a_ change. He adjusted the length of the rope for the sling, un. That's all I can see at the moment, but I'll have to go over them again to be sure."

Kisame leaned over the drawings and scanned over the careful numbers that were neatly noted by clear lines. He scanned the ones for the base, then checked the other papers. "The picky bastard didn't change any of the measurements on the parts already built, so that's a relief," he muttered.

"How are you sure?" the red head asked, curious. He tilted his head and tapped one of the notations. "Sure, you two work well together, but even you didn't know he had made changes."

Lips spreading in a smirk, blue boy tapped another of the numbers. "See that underline?" He waited until Sasori peered at the number and nodded. "I underline all the measurements when we work with them. If Itachi makes a change, he erases the entire measurement and doesn't underline his new ones."

Deidara scanned what they'd already built, very carefully, then nodded. "Yeah, he's right," he said, sounding relieved. "I swear I'm gonna kick that bastard if he screws  _anything_ up, un!"

Sasori snorted. "And he'll kick you back," he replied. "C'mon, let's start..."

xXx

 _Not again_ , Shikamaru groaned as Kisame gleefully beat Kiba to the stool next to the already miserable boy. The race to the table nearly ended with the bigger teen toppling the stool sideways into Shikamaru.

"Dammit Shark!" Kiba snarled. "You can't keep doing this!"

The offender smirked, "Down Dog, I can sit wherever I want to." He waved at the class of meandering students. "We're not having a group project today. Screw off."

Shikamaru watched with sad eyes as his usual lab partner stalked away. Kisame turned with a grin and Shika promptly covered his ears and buried his face in his backpack, which was still sitting on the table.

Kisame cooed and hopped his stool closer. "Awww, does Shika-chan not feel so good after slurping down an entire knobbly green length of cum covered tenta—"

At that moment the door near them swung open and the gentle, smiling, Iruka-sensei walked into the classroom.

"-tively speaking, Nara-san, I don't think that it would be a good idea to take a nap right now," Sharky ended smoothly.

"Shikamaru-kun," Iruka said, frowning slightly at the lazy boy.

Shikamaru cringed, lifted his head and let it drop back down onto his backpack. "Sorry, sensei," he mumbled.

"Stop wasting time," Sasori hissed from one seat back and to their left, as Iruka headed towards the front. "I  _will_ gut you if you do."

Shikamaru flinched and scowled at the grinning Kisame. "Could you please leave the... porn to a minimum today?" the boy pleaded. "Or at least don't talk about lunch?"

"Well, you ate the lunch," the smirking teenager replied. "So, you're the expert on it."

"Ugh, how troublesome."

The table and the height of the stool didn't make resting one's chin on a hand very easy, but somehow Kisame managed it. This actually put the two boys at eye level.

"Well," he said magnanimously. "In gratitude of your sacrifice to provide me with some fuck-" he cut his eye to the front where Iruka-sensei was oblivious "-ing awesome laughs, I will relent. So what do you want to talk about?"

Blinking at the wide grin from his table mate, Shika bit back his first words which were, ' _You're letting me choose?!'_

Kisame watched the smart kid think his options through and snickered. Damn, this kid was so easy compared to 'tachi! Look at the little cogs go!

"Homework?" Shikamaru proposed slowly.

"Lame," he replied.

The other kid frowned and clamped his lips again. Kisame shut his own mouth and tried not to laugh.

Shikamaru looked away from Kisame, sitting back and letting his hands fall into his lap. Safe topic, safe topic, safe topic-

Ah! "Chess?"

Flat-line. "Dead boring." Brow creasing, Kisame gave the other boy a pained look and lowered his voice. "Fuck man, you have got to be more than school and old people's games."

"They're strategy games," Shikamaru said, pouting.  _"I bet if Itachi wanted to talk about them, you'd jump at it."_ Of course, he did not say this out loud. No, what he said was, "Uh... Food?"

Sharky shook his head and smirked. "Those strategy games can't be helping you much if you can't even avoid  _me_." Then his grin got wider. "Now food, what kind gets you interested?"

"Dango?" Shikamaru ventured, wisely ignoring the slight on his inability to play ninja.

Brows lifting, Kisame gave him a pat on the back. "Sticky, tan balls on a stick, huh?" he asked amused. "You  _are_ a closet pervert."

Shikamaru also wisely refrained from pointing out that those  _sticky, tan balls on a stick_ happened to be Uchiha Itachi's favorite treat (or so said Ino). Instead, he took a breath for patience and sighed. "You're going to make perverted references no matter what I say, aren't you."

It wasn't a question.

Kisame shrugged. "Actually, that was Itachi's reply to when I said dangos. I've played this game before." He pointed to the teacher turning around. "Pay attention now!"

Shikamaru groaned. Gods give him patience. Either that, or kill him right now. … however, when the gods did not strike him down where he sat, he scowled.

"Shikamaru-kun!" Iruka said, exasperated. "Are you hearing a word I say?"

Shikamaru panicked. "Uh... yes?"

"Oh, really? And what did I  _just_ say?"

Shikamaru's eyes darted to the board. … frogs? Really? Kisame would be making tadpole jokes next. The Nara boy just  _knew_ it. "Uh... the life cycle and stuff?"

Iruka narrowed his eyes, then huffed and turned back around, satisfied.

Shikamaru decided he was a  _very_ lucky guy. And then Kisame opened his mouth again.

"Guess talking porn every class has paid off," Kisame mused, keeping his eyes on the teacher. He poked his unwilling partner in the ribs. "Right, next topic."

Shikamaru heaved a sigh. Right, maybe if he gave the guy something he  _wanted_ to talk about... "Wrestling."

Silver eyes slid his way and one dark eyebrow crept up. "Really? What about it?" The bigger teen gave the kid a once over physical and figured the boy came up short. Then again, sometimes there were surprises.

Shikamaru shrugged. "There's a team of female wrestlers over on the outskirts of town... They basically strip down to their underwear and try to get each other covered in mud." Last he checked, anyway.

Kisame sighed. He couldn't blame Nara. He was in an odd fucking mood. With Itachi out of the picture for a week, things were so... unbalanced. He felt like he was walking off kilter without his friend there.

He shook his head and looked Shikamaru in the eye. "Are you really interested in homework?" he deadpanned, going back to the initial topic.

"Nope," Shikamaru replied honestly, and cut Kisame a glower. "But I  _am_ interested in Chess."

Snickering, the other boy pointed to Iruka who was scribbling something on the board. "Copy."

The other boy scowled, but scrambled to write down what the teacher was putting down. With his luck, if he didn't copy it down, Iruka would do a paper check.

The giant next to him was writing as well, but after a moment Kisame's voice came slipping out the side of his mouth. "Fucking chess. What is it with you smart fucks and chess?"

Smart? Well, maybe. "I just like it," he replied. "It isn't boring. This crap," he gestured toward the board, "Is so easy that I just wanna fall asleep instead. I'd probably get more out of that," Shikamaru grumbled. "Troublesome."

"Really?" Kisame looked at him for a moment and grinned. "Itachi beats me in three moves on a regular basis," he admitted. "You teach me, I get you out of here."

 _Of course he does_ , Shikamaru thought. Freaking Uchihas. "How does getting me out of here today equate to making you a successful chess player?" Shikamaru asked boredly, trying to listen to the teacher. He blinked slowly when he realized that he could both talk and remember what the man was saying. … why hadn't he figured that out years ago?

Snorting, the blue teen replied, "Two things. One, I'm not looking to beat Uchiha, just last more than five turns. Two, you teach me today, and every day until Itachi gets back, and we only talk about chess." Kisame turned and offered a hand. "Only chess until Itachi gets back."

Inside, Kisame was throttling himself. Boredom and an unbalanced school life apparently drove him to do strange things. Learn chess for a week? Holy fuck, Hidan was going to kill himself laughing.

Shikamaru blinked. "We'll... what, skip class all week and I'll teach you how to play chess - for longer than five turns - in that time?" Simple. He frowned. "And you... hm..." He fell silent and idly scribbled down something the teacher had written on the bored. He barely even glanced at it, mostly focused on this interesting little deal. "In less than three days, I really can't teach you much... but I should be able to teach you enough to get you past five moves."

Kisame turned his offered hand over and pointed the fingers to the ceiling. "Three days?" He closed the fist. "Today, tomorrow, Friday, Saturday," Shika's eyes narrowed, "Sunday." The bigger teen held up all five digits. "Fucker says he's coming back on Monday."

Monday? Hm... "Less than five days, then," Shikamaru allowed, calculating. Would he be able to keep this from everyone? Fat chance. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Fine. Deal."

"Good, look sick." Kisame jumped to his feet with a clatter of a stool. "Iruka-sensei!"

The young teacher at the front snapped eyes on them and watched as Shikamaru stared back with wide eyes. The boy's face was paling by the second.

Though, that may have been because of the lethal looks Sasori was aiming at the back of his head. The redhead was sitting just close enough to have heard every single word of their whispered conversation. And he'd likely done that on purpose.

"Yes, Kisame-kun?" The confused Iruka asked.

Kisame nearly cringed at the "kun" but kept on going. "Nara-san isn't feeling very well." The big teen stepped in close to the other boy and "helped" him off the stool. "You see, he tried some of today's linguine."

Iruka paled himself and observed Shikamaru's twitching facial muscles and fumbling limbs. "Could you help him to the bathroom? Or maybe the nurse's office?" Naruto had mentioned the green pasta.

Shikamaru felt his knees grow weak when he heard a hiss behind him. "... think 'm gonna hurl," he mumbled, playing it up only a little bit. Good gods, Akasuna was gonna  _murder_  him. He was going to die a horrible, painful death, and oh gods, was that a betrayed look Kiba was giving him? _Nooooo... No, Kiba, wasn't my idea! I'm going to die..._

"Hurry," he whimpered.

"Go, go, please. He looks  _awful_ ," Iruka said worriedly. "Keep an eye on him. You're both excused."

Way too perfect... Shikamaru was glad he wasn't Naruto; Iruka  _never_ believed a word the blond said.

"Of course, Iruka-sensei," Kisame assured him. He quickly packed everything into his duffel bag and swung the weight to his shoulder. "Shika-kun, lean on me if you need to." He actually offered an arm... He was also very nearly dying of laughter. Oh, Sasori would get him for this in Metal Working tomorrow for sure.

"I... think I can manage," Shikamaru mumble and started walking with a robotic-like gait toward the door. And then he was out it, Kisame right behind. Gods, he hadn't felt like this since he'd made the mistake of skipping gym  _once_ last semester...

"Don't stop here you moron..." Kisame muttered under his breath, and pushed the smaller male down the hall with a hand in the middle of the teen's back. "Go, go, go, go..."

They rounded the corner, tripped down several flights of stairs and they did end up stumbling into the bathroom for the want of somewhere to laugh. Or at least Kisame did.

Shikamaru closed the bathroom door and leaned against it, still a little pale. "Akasuna is going to  _murder_  me," he said, wide-eyed. "It was like he was staring daggers into my back...  _gods_ , that guy is ice," he complained. " _So_ troublesome."

 _This wall is comfy_ , Kisame thought weakly. His vision had nearly blacked out from the running and the laughing  _and_ the effort it had taken to keep a straight face in class.

"Sasori," he paused to take in another breath, "is, what the fuck is the word, ah, a scary mother fucker."

Then he snickered. The fucker had been furious. Kisame had no doubt that the red head had heard every single word of their deal. He was rather proud of their exit.

"I didn't notice," Shikamaru replied sarcastically. His heart was slowly starting to calm. "... will he actually gut me?" he asked, looking faint.

Kisame grinned from the corner he had collapsed into and staggered to his feet. "He'll gut me. You though? Naah."

"Good," Shikamaru said, relieved. "I'll make sure you have porn at your funeral."

"Make it the mud wrestling chicks and I'll go happily." The blue boy smirked.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and waved him off, straightening from the door. "Whatever... geez, you're a bad influence." Forget Akasuna, if Ino and Sakura ever found out he'd skipped class... he shuddered. Best not to think of such things. "So this chess thing...? Where do you wanna go?" He paused, then added, "I have a collapsible board and pieces in my locker."

"Let's get to the locker first then," Kisame decided, pushing himself to his feet. Shouldering the bag, he turned and looked expectantly at Shikamaru.

"Okay," Shikamaru agreed, and peeked out the door. "It's near the cafeteria... Should be deserted this period, so come on. If anyone asks, I asked to get something from my locker."

Kisame pushed the kid out the door. "Awww, you mean I gotta say the truth?"

"If you tell only lies, it's easy to figure out," Shikamaru retorted, and walked casually away, toward the cafeteria. "Naruto skips sometimes; I know where he hides from Ibiki. We can go there."

Strolling with Nara meant that Kisame had to shorten his strides. It felt like they were crawling down the hallway.

"Hey, I was telling the truth," Sharky protested. "You did eat that stuff." He snorted, grinning. "Oh wow, Iruka's face."

Shikamaru cringed. "How'd he- oh, that's right. Naruto. C-Lunch," he said, answering his own question. He sighed. " _Troublesome_." He shook his head and rounded the corner to the hall outside the cafeteria, where his locker was. A spin of the combination lock - done too quickly for Kisame to see, even if he'd been looking - a click of the latch and he pulled the door open.

He jumped back. " _Na-ru-to_ ," he growled angrily. There was a plastic container of the day's lunch sitting in the locker. How had that idiot figured out his key?

Peering over the top edge of the locker, Kisame eyed the leftovers. He snorted, "Who needs enemies, huh?" He tapped the kid on the head. "Stop fixating on it and move your ass."

Shikamaru huffed and made a mental note to stuff it in Naruto's bag later. He shook his head and reached into the locker, pulling out a plastic case from the back, roughly the size of one of his texts books. He closed the locker gently, clicked the lock closed, spun the dial and turned away. "C'mon, this way," he said, heading out of the building, in the vague direction of East Wing.

Kisame chuckled and hung an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders. He said grandly, "This is the start of—"

"Shut up." Shikamaru tossed the other boy a frown, then glanced over his shoulder as they crossed the quad. No one, but... "This way," he added, turning an abrupt left and slipping around the West Wing building. He lead Kisame around the building and back toward East Wing, through the doors and up to the third floor. Then he started counting doors and opened a janitors closet.

Kisame was not impressed. "This is way too—"

"Shut. Up." Shikamaru motioned the boy inside the room and closed the door, then clicked on the small overhead light. He grabbed a stool and stood just to the left of the light, then pushed up on the plaster square.

He shoved it to the side, revealing a trap door above that. There apparently was an attic above. He turned his head. "Kisame, I forgot. Over there, under the rusty metal pail, is a small key, hand it to me?"

"Colour me impressed," Kisame muttered as he dropped the duffel bag softly to the floor and tilted up the pail. He stooped down to scrape the key off the floor and then stretched to pass it to the kid up the ladder.

"Who came up with this?" He wanted to know.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Two years back, Naruto was hanging around with Neji and Tenten during school, and Ibiki caught him. He chased him into the building and Naruto hid in this closet. Ibiki was opening doors, so he panicked and started trying to climb  _into_ the ceiling- don't ask me why, maybe he thought the plaster would hold him."

Shikamaru ran long fingers slowly over the door, then fit the key into a tiny, barely visible lock and turned it. There was a soft, rusty click. "He found the trap door, and the key was already in the lock, so he hid inside." He pushed on the door and it swung up and open on surprisingly silent hinges.

"For a while, he carried the key with him, but when we started school here last year, he decided to share." He shrugged and climbed up through the hole, then leaned back. "Hand me the stuff," he ordered.

"Huh," Kisame uttered softly. Then dragged the bag over and looped the handles into Nara's waiting hands. "Interesting."

Shikamaru pulled the bag through and scooted away from the door, then got comfortable on one of the many beanbags they'd placed there over time. "He's resourceful, I guess," he allowed as Kisame climbed up. "And lucky. No one else would have found it, I guarantee it. Not unless they were looking for it."

The large teenager leaned back down to replace the plaster tile and close the trap door. Then he made himself comfortable on a blue bean bag. "Huh," he said again, surveying the hidey hole. "Why here?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "He put noodles in my locker," he replied, "And figured out my key to do it." He sighed and dragged the plastic container to him, then unfolded it to reveal a wooden board folded in half with black and tan colored squares on it.

He lay the board out flat on the floor between them and pulled out two tiny baggies of pieces, tossing the unpainted wooden ones to Kisame, while he kept the black-painted ones to himself. "You know how to set the pieces, right?"

The pieces came tumbling out as Kisame upended the small bag. "Yeah, yeah," he snorted as he placed the pawns on the board.

Shikamaru set his own pieces, and then a thought occurred to him. "Hey, you went with Sasuke earlier, to find Naruto, right? What happened with that?"

Kisame quirked an eyebrow at him and placed the rooks. "The deal was to talk about chess only wasnt it?"

Shikamaru yawned. "Well, whatever, it's probably troublesome anyway." He paused, then pointed out, "Though I did just answer  _your_ questions didn't I?"

Queen, king, bishops... Kisame set down the knights and smirked. "True." He sat back in the bean bag, chess army assembled, and traced the rafters with his eyes. "Hmm, Sasuke took the nearest set up stairs and bloody sprinted up them." He shook his head and grinned.

"The only reason why Hidan and I followed the twerp was cuz Ibiki was on our tail. Easiest course is to follow." He shrugged. "No decisions necessary."

He leaned down and picked up a pawn. "He went up three flights of stairs before coming down this hallway. He probably wanted to check here," Kisame mused. He set the pawn down in a different spot and quirked a brow at Nara.

Shikamaru leaned forward and boredly moved his Knight out. "Really? Hm... Well, I suppose you didn't see him leave then?" Sasuke wouldn't have, if he'd known they were following.

Idly, Kisame picked up another pawn and moved it two squares forward. "Nah, we kept moving." Kisame blinked and thought the events over. Ibiki hadn't been hot on their tails as he usually was. "Maybe, the old man gave up the chase early, but he didn't come hounding us after... at all actually." Kisame ended frowning.

Shikamaru moved his Knight again. "Ah... Yeah. He went... the other way," he said vaguely, and shrugged.

"Ibiki lost a trail?" the other teenager said incredulously. "Ours? We didn't even bother to threaten anyone to not talk. We just ran like bitches." He nudged a bishop out between other pieces and on to the playing field.

Shikamaru moved his Knight once more and sat back. "Check mate." He paused. "And yeah, he... er, lost your trail."

Kisame grunted and looked at the board. "Fuck and damn." He glared at the carved wood pieces. "This is why I play poker."

Shikamaru gave him a shrug. "Sorry," he said, distractedly. "Reset your pieces."

The armies were resurrected and Kisame moved another pawn. "Anything else, non chess you want to say?" he invited cheerfully.

"No, but you should watch which pawn you move." Three turns later, and Shikamaru had won again.

xXx

 _This is insane. Fucking insane._  Kisame wandered through the hallways, rubbing the back of his head. _I've just signed myself up for five days of absolute torture._

His new chess instructor had packed up the game pieces and run off to Geometry, leaving the shark with nothing to do but hold his head and wonder if he had been the one to eat something weird. Not that there was any chance in hell he'd be eating any of the cafeteria's food. Not after that mystery dish.  _Ugh_.

With nothing else to do but wait for the others to finish class, Kisame meandered down random stairs, up stretches of silent halls, and around the quad.

 _Shit, this is pointless._  He pivoted on his heel and headed off towards his locker. At least there he would find a few magazines and a deck of cards.  _Though playing Solitaire is pretty fucking lame._

When Kisame rounded the corner for the hall containing his group of lockers, he nearly ran into a familiar boy with a fake smile. Sai managed to stumbled backwards before they had collided, though. His smile grew.

"Oh! Kisame-san! You know, I had no way to give it to you otherwise, so I just stuck it on the locker." He patted the male's shoulder. "Hope you like it! I was told you would either really like it or try to kill me. Well, that was Ino-san's opinion, though..." He grinned, and it still managed to seem fake.

Kisame blinked. "Give me what?" He looked towards his locker and saw that a crisp white sheet of paper had been taped to his locker door. "Shit, what did you put on there?"

"Go see," Sai said, smile turning gleeful. "I would like to know what you think," he urged.

"No kidding," Sharky murmured, amazed the kid was still standing within arm's length. He shrugged and walked towards his present.

Sai trailed along behind him, grinning still. He'd skipped Drama for this shit. Naruto would get mad at him for leaving the blond to the literal wolves (for a play), but it would be worth it. Would Hoshigaki get mad? Laugh? Stare at him like he was a psycho (Ino did that...)? Oooh, the mystery was killing him.

Peering at the paper as he got closer, Kisame still couldn't figure out what it was until he came within five feet of it. He blinked. A shark? And was that... him? With swords? He cracked a grin and started to cackle. Well, one sword of scales and the other of flesh; both of them huge.

Turning bright eyes towards the beaming kid behind him, Kisame clapped him on the back. "Fuck man. You're a better artist than Naruto."

The blue teenager slung an arm across Sai's shoulders and together they looked at the artwork taped to Kisame's locker.

"I think you just made my day," Hoshigaki announced.

"Well, then I am glad my artwork is appreciated," the tall boy said. And despite his height, he was completely dwarfed by the other boy. "Ino-san complained about my research." Pause. Smirk. "She did not like my deductions on her lack of breast support."

Kisame snorted. "They never seem to appreciate us appreciating them, do they?"  _Konan for example_. Then he blinked. "Ino is the blonde girl right? She's not wearing a bra today?"

"Nope." Sai grinned. "She tried to beat me up when I told her I knew. Thankfully, the bell rang. She is slightly scary."  _Though_ , he mused,  _not as scary as Ugly._

"Hmm." Kisame carefully peeled the paper off the metal and held it in his free hand. "You ever do water colours?"

"Yes," Sai responded, perking. Would Kisame commission him? He could use a few bucks for medical supplies. And Art supplies. Both of which were important to a man like him.

The other boy hummed again, then opened his locker and pulled out a few magazines and a binder. He slipped Sai's present into the latter.

"You got a portfolio?" Kisame asked bemusedly.

Sai nodded, swinging his bag off his shoulder. "Yes," he repeated, setting the backpack on the floor and opening it. He rummaged for a minute before pulling out a sketch book and a manilla folder. He held it out, musing how the pressure map was the first page of the manilla folder. "Here."

Kisame chuckled, reaching out a hand for the folder and closing his locker with the other. "This should be interesting," he said as he sat down to lean up against the lockers. "You wanna walk me through this or do I just browse?"

Sai seated himself beside the blue boy and motioned toward the folder. "We'll start with that," he instructed, and Kisame opened it. The first page was the pressure map, and Sai smirked. "Ever heard of a pressure map, Hoshigaki-san?"

Tracing the lines with a finger, Kisame frowned. He looked down at the notations for the date and the subject matter. Ino? Today? His eyebrows went up and he looked at the picture with renewed interest.

"Can this be translated into a water sculpting program?" Sharky asked, ideas popping into his head.

Sai considered the map for a moment, tilting his head. "We could try," he admitted. "I do not know if it'll work though." His brow knitted into the first frown he'd had in a while (he tried ever so hard to smile all the time). "Hm... I'll have to see, and I'll let you know, but I will warn you that if Ino-san ever finds out, she will tell Ugly, and they will kill you."

He tilted his head at the pale boy. "Ugly?"

Sai nodded, humming thoughtfully, then smiled at Kisame. "You know her as the woman of brute strength and no control over her own arms; Sakura-san."

"Oh, she's got control," the other said, thinking of Tobi's trip across the beach logs.

Tucking both hands behind his head, Kisame grinned down at the little artist. "And, I think I can deal with that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... If there are _italics_ that have blended two words together (as protrayed) please let me know. I don't think I got them all.


	14. Rumours Abound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know what he's been saying, Naruto," she sniped. "What are you _doing_?"

Hidan stretched out in his chair, grinning. "Oh, so you'll never fucking guess what I heard," he said.

Deidara, carefully going over the blue prints from Advance Metal class, glanced up. "Eh? What, un?"

Kakuzu ignored them, busy doing his Calculus homework.

"I heard that fucking Pinky isn't an innocent little virgin." Hidan grinned, and Kakuzu looked up curiously.

Deidara gaped. "She acts like one, un! The way she was blushing at the party and all..."

Hidan shrugged. "I dunno, but that new kid, what's his damn name, Sui-somethin'... he's slept with her. Was spouting off at the fucking mouth all through lunch; Uzumaki got pissed the fuck off."

Deidara shook his head and looked back down at the blueprints. He hesitated, then put them away. "So... What happened, un?"

"Well, that Lee guy—the one that was at that fucking party—and some kid named Inuzuka managed to keep Naruto from shredding Sui to motherfucking pieces. Barely." Hidan smirked. "I've  _never_  seen that motherfucker so  _pissed_!" He cackled gleefully.

Kakuzu snorted. "So what? He's spreading lies."

Hidan drew up importantly, grinning like the cat that caught the canary. "I asked Uchiha," he said, grinning. They knew he was talking about Sasuke; he didn't call Itachi by his last name. Generally, it was Itachi or bastard. "After school, he told me it wasn't my fucking business what Pinky did, and to keep my nose out of her fucking shit.  _That_ was a pissy bastard. Heh."

Deidara shook his head. "Wow, rumors huh? That'll be annoying, un." And he dug in his bag for his French homework. Man, it sucked not having Itachi around to help him with this dumb shit... "Oi, Kakuzu, you took French last semester, right?"

Kakuzu shot him a glare. "Why?"

"I'll pay you twenty bucks to help me with my homework," the blond replied, pulling out a twenty and waving it around.

Kakuzu got up, put his Calculus homework away, and dragged his seat over to Deidara at the card table. "Fine. What are you working on?"

xXx

Naruto was fidgeting  _again_. Itachi's eye twitched and he restrained himself from throwing the binder at the kid.

Twenty minutes ago, Sasuke and Naruto had walked in through the front door and had immediately sat down around the coffee table. Sakura's Japanese class had let out early and she already had her homework spread out over half the table.

The older Uchiha brother sighed and peered down at the papers in his hand. It was no use. With the two boys here, his focus was continuously distracted by the blond's constant shuffling and Sasuke's reprimanding hisses.

Leaning back on the couch, Itachi let his eyes close and rubbed a hand over his brow. Then he snorted. Sakura had brought back an interesting story.

Apparently, one of her little friends, one that Kisame had dubbed Dog, had seen his best friend haul Shikamaru out of class. Something about cafeteria food?

Itachi smiled, wondering what Kisame was up to, then bit back a snarl when Naruto tore yet another sheet of paper.

"Na-ru-to," Sakura growled, right on cue. " _What_ is your problem?!"

The blond immediately turned to look at her, then down at the table. "Hey, Sakura-chan... Well... I heard... at lunch... something about Sui-"

The moment he mentioned hearing something, Sakura panicked, and she covered his mouth. "Naruto! Not a word!"

He dragged her hand from his face. "But Sakura-chan! Don't tell me it's  _true_!" he said, looking heart-broken.

Sakura snarled and climbed to her feet, grabbing him by the ear before hauling him out of the room. She pushed him along and into the kitchen. Mikoto looked up, and Sakura smiled sheepishly. "Oh, we'll just go outside then," the pink haired girl said.

"I was going to go do the laundry actually," Mikoto replied with a beam. "Don't mind me." She stood, waved and left.

Sakura rounded on her blond friend as soon as the Uchiha Matriarch was out of earshot. "Naruto, what is wrong with you?!"

"Suigetsu said that he'd—"

"I  _know_  what he's been saying, Naruto," she sniped. "What are you  _doing_?"

He paled, staring at her in shock. "I... I know you guys dated but... but you..."

Sakura sighed, leaning back against the wall. "Yes, Naruto. It was a long time ago, okay? Don't let him upset you with his dumb rumors."

"You have to tell Sasuke," he said firmly, looking angry. Silence, and Sakura didn't meet his gaze. His face drained of color again. "... you already did? When?"

"Right after we broke up," Sakura admitted. "I was upset, and Sasuke came over, and I cried a lot... I just ended up telling him everything..." She bit her lip. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Naruto... I just... I was so damn  _pissed_ and..." She tipped her head back, thumping it lightly against the wall, and stared up at the ceiling. "It hurt... I didn't want to think about it anymore."

"Does Itachi know?"

The angry demand brought her head snapping right back down, surprise on her face. "What? No! I didn't tell anyone but Sasuke. Uh... and Ino. But she dragged it out of me, and I made her promise not to tell  _anyone_."

Naruto stared down at his feet. "You should tell him. Since you're dating him, and it should come from  _you,_ Sakura-chan, not the rumors."

The pink-haired girl stared at him, and then slumped. "Yeah. You're right."

She bit her lip, then took a deep breath. "Would you mind dragging Sasuke-kun up to his room and finishing your homework there? So me and Itachi can talk alone?"

The blond hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, but later, you gotta tell me everything, okay? I'm your best friend."

She snorted, but shook her head. "Okay, I promise."

Out in the living room, Itachi was again squinting down at the papers. With Naruto gone, he had read half the page in a matter of seconds. He would have had the entire thing memorized had it not been for the furious whispering that was coming from the kitchen.

He breathed out a quiet sigh. His vision was coming back slowly, but it still frustrated him, the lack of details. The inflictions in the voice, and the shifts in the body language were able to convey much of what was going around him, but being partially blind was still a handicap.

Tossing the papers back onto the coffee table, the teenager reached out a hand towards his tea.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said as they came back into the room. "Let's go do the homework upstairs. These guys are being boring."

Sasuke gave Naruto a look, clearly not believing his lame excuse, but shrugged. "Sure," he said, grabbing their work while Naruto grabbed their bags. The two disappeared down the hall.

Sakura sat back down, trying not to look at Itachi, but she was shaking a little. She didn't touch her work, and she wanted to just tell him, but it wouldn't come out.

Would he care? Sakura had to wonder that. Would Itachi even give a damn?

Now Sakura was fidgeting. Itachi sighed audibly. It had to be something in the school's water. Taking another sip of lukewarm tea, Itachi reached out and pulled Sakura over the arm of the couch and into his lap. He didn't spill a single drop.

Sakura squeaked in surprise, landing in his lap and flailing to keep herself from losing her balance. Her hands landed on his shoulders. She took a beat to steady herself and stared up into his eyes in surprise. "I... uh..." Her gaze slid to his tea.

… lucky.

Without a pause, Itachi took another sip, before leaning over the girl to place the cup back onto the table, and settled back into the cushions with Sakura nestled under his chin.

Aah... peace. He buried his face in her warm hair and hummed. "Hush."

She turned red, but obeyed, allowing her body to relax. She sighed, closing her eyes. Oh, Itachi... What would she do without him sitting here, calming her down?  _Probably turn into a fidgety mess_ , she mused sardonically.

After a few minutes had passed, she opened her eyes and murmured, "Itachi-kun?"

He hummed and placed a hand over her mouth.

The boys would be down soon enough, and the fidgeting would begin anew. Itachi was determined to prolong the quiet as long as he could.

She blinked, then twitched and grabbed his hand, pulling it away. "Itachi-kun," she deadpanned. "This is important. To me. Naruto and Sasuke will stay away for a while, I promise." Even she could see how annoyed he'd been while they were down here. "So please let me talk."

Itachi grunted and lifted his nose from her neck. Silence, apparently, could not be prolonged any further. He lifted both hands to the girl's cheeks and traced her brows with the tips of his fingers. "Talk then," he murmured, slitting open his eyes to search out her green ones.

She swallowed. "We have a new guy in school... well, he's not really  _new_ , he just moved away for a while and then came back." She wanted to pull away, look down... anything to escape. "Um... We dated... a long time ago... I had gotten over Sasuke, and then this guy asked me out. Had been, and I finally said yes."

She closed her eyes, the pain renewed with the memories. "It was good, for a while. He was sweet." She laughed, remembering the good times. "He bought me this ferret once, and he would totally spoil the thing whenever he came over..."

"Hnn, and what was the ferret's name?" Itachi slid his hands down her cheeks and curved, kneading, into her tense shoulders. Break up stories, he mused, were almost all the same. They were fun, they were confusing, then it was either sad or angry. He wondered which route Sakura's story would follow.

"Momo," she said, and laughed. She looked down at her lap. "I was falling in love with the guy, and everything was happening so fast and... He said... that we should 'confirm our love'." She bit her lip, swallowed, and took in a shaking breath. "So we did. Everything was fine for a while, and we'd... y'know, sometimes.

"Then he met some girl at a cafe and started spending less and less time with me." She closed her eyes. Swallow. Breath. "But he'd always show up if I told him I wanted to have sex. I was so desperate for his eyes to stay on me that I just did it whenever he wanted, where-ever he wanted.

"And then... He decided he didn't like me hanging out with Naruto and Sasuke-kun anymore. Especially Sasuke-kun. Told me that unless I wanted to break up, I should stop talking to other boys."

She gritted her teeth. "I did."

Itachi frowned slightly, rubbing warm hands up and down Sakura's back. The line about "confirming love" was an old one and it usually lead to Sakura's case. Either the young idiots were so besotted with each other that they didn't realize sex and love were separate or one of them wasn't even trying for love.

Her phrasing either meant she had dumped the boy or she had stopped talking to Sasuke for a time. Neither scenario were relevant at this point. However...

"And now he is back," Itachi lifted both hands from her back and folded them placidly between their two bodies. He canted his head and eased his frown. "Are you still in love with him?"

She snorted. "No. When I stopped catering to his whims and started talking to Sasuke-kun again, he dropped me like yesterday's news. Sasuke made things difficult for him for a while, and then his father had to move because of work or something. I guess they just came back."

She sighed. "He's been talking though, now that he's back. Telling everyone how he slept with me. I guess Naruto heard about it at lunch and got pissed."

"Hnn, was he your first boyfriend?" He shifted further down on to the couch, and held out his arms in open invitation for her to cuddle.

She gladly accepted, relieved that he wasn't upset with her. "No, I dated once before him. But that had been when I was twelve, and he wasn't as interested in  _sex_ as he was in being an idiot." She let her head rest on his collar bone, smiling slightly. "I wanted to tell you before you heard all of this from the rumor mill. Though it'll probably be a lot worse-sounding by the time you get back."

Itachi rubbed his knuckles down her spine, weaving back and forth between the vertebrae. He smirked, "Hnn, let's see. The pink-haired girl, named after tree blossoms, was actually a sexual deviant. One who was willing to participate in any number of sexual play in any number of places, public or private." His eyebrow arched up and he wrapped his arms around her back to keep her from jumping up.

"I think I'm rather lucky," he said as one of his hands slid up to the nape of her neck and rubbed.

Embarrassed, she buried her face in his chest. "If you say so," she mumbled. There was a beat of silence, then, "You're not upset? Really?"

"Would you be upset to know that I'm not a virgin either?" Itachi asked her simply.

She laughed. "No. I'd be surprised if you were," she admitted.

He nudged the crown of her head with his chin, and when she looked up, he softly pressed his lips against hers. "Then there is no problem," he stated quietly as he withdrew. "Though, I do urge you to keep this from my father. He is... rather traditional."

She smiled a little. "I know. Sasuke-kun used to complain about it a lot." She grinned, then leaned up for another kiss.

Indulging in another sweet moment, Itachi hummed and lifted away. "Hnn, we know," he smirked as Sakura frowned. In the same level voice, Itachi turned half blind eyes to the kitchen and smirked. "I believe Okaasan wants to sit with us."

"Oooh, you caught me!" Mikoto said, peeking around the corner. "My clever little boy."

Sakura blinked, then turned an embarrassed red. "M-Mikoto-san!" she gasped, moving to get up.

However, Mikoto waved a hand at her, even as Itachi's grip tightened, and she was incapable of moving. "Oh, don't sacrifice your comfort on  _my_ account, dear," she said, walking over and sitting down in the chair Sakura had recently vacated.

The half prone teenager gestured to his tea. "Could I have my tea please? I seem to be rather pleasantly trapped."

Mikoto gave him an amused look, but reached out and picked it up. "It's cold," she pointed out cheerfully.

Sakura stared at the woman, slowly connecting the dots. "Oh... You uh... you knew? About us? And you were... listening?" Briefly, she thought back over all of the things Mikoto could have eavesdropped on, and paled.

Smirking, Itachi wriggled his fingers at his mother. "I still want that tea Okaasan," he replied teasingly and smiled even wider as his mother began to smirk herself.

"Oh, do you?" she asked slyly. "But surely if it were  _that_ important, you'd have gotten it yourself?"

Oh gods, that smile reminded Sakura eerily of Ino. She looked back and forth between the two smirking Uchihas. Oh gods.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "As I am currently pinned, I needed your help obviously." He reached down and tickled Sakura's sides lightly and chuckled at the resulting squeak. "You were the one to tell Sakura to stay where she was after all."

"Ooh, I was, wasn't I?" Mikoto mused, and sniffed at the tea. "Still... why would you want cold tea?"

Mikoto was teasing her son. Mikoto was  _teasing_  Uchiha Itachi. And Uchiha Itachi was  _teasing_  back. And tickling her. And  _teasing_. Sakura's mind may have just melted.

Buried in couch cushions and pleasantly warm under the wonderful curves of Sakura, Itachi smiled. "If I really wanted hot tea, Okaasan, I would have to either leave the two of you alone or send one of you away for tea."

He adopted a tragic expression. "You can understand if I do not want to leave the company of two of the most important, the most beautiful and  _kind_ , women in my life."

"Aww, flattery gets you everywhere," the woman replied, and held out the tea for him to take with a wink toward Sakura.

The pink-haired girl groaned. "You two..."

Mikoto's brows quirked at exactly the same time as Itachi's. "Yes?"

"You scare me, I think," Sakura ventured, dropping her head to rest on Itachi's shoulder.

Mikoto grinned.

Itachi snickered and finished off his well-won cold tea. He frowned at the cup. "And now I need someone to help put it back on the coffee table..." he said grinning.

"Do you now?" Mikoto asked, not moving a muscle. "Aww, poor, put-upon Itachi-chan."

Pouting, Itachi nudged Sakura. "She's so mean!" he said with a trace of a whimper.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "Oh gods."

Mikoto burst into laughter. "Careful, you might shock your girlfriend," she teased her son.

He shrugged. "She already knows that I can laugh," Itachi nuzzled Sakura's neck and turned his blurry sight towards his mother, "so she may as well learn the rest."

The memory prompted Sakura to smile. Mikoto knew that smile, for she often wore it when she knew her boys were happy. She smiled back, matching Sakura's grin. "Yes, I suppose so," Mikoto said and held out a hand for the cup.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter named as a nod to a Bleach fic by kaotic312 (Rumors Abound) (Retsu x Kenny).


	15. Gender Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One name: Yuki Haku
> 
> Also: Tobi in a trash can.

Sasuke yawned, dropping his shoulder bag onto the floor and plopping ungracefully into his seat. Why did school start so early? He was still tired. And 'kaasan had looked  _way_  too cheerful, even for a morning person.

Grumbling, he undid the clasp on his cuff bracelet and dropped it into his half-open bag. Above him, the bell rang, and the door clicked closed. A glance revealed Momochi-sensei walking toward his desk.

"Morning," he greeted gruffly, looking a little tired himself. "So, we're going to spend today going over yesterday's cake. Everyone, please get your cakes; they're in the refrigerators as always." He paused to stifle a yawn, and Sasuke smirked.

"Hey," Sasuke hissed to a fangirl not far from him. He pretended to be busy trying to find something from his bag while the girl just about fainted. "Would you mind getting my cake for me?"

The girl rushed to do his bidding, and Sasuke didn't have to get up.  _I win_ , he thought smugly, and yawned again.

Then the door opened, just as the tardy bell rang, and Shizune-san ushered a girl into the room with a bright smile. "Sorry we're late," the woman chirped.

 _Uhg. Another morning person_ , thought Sasuke with a grimace.

His fangirl sat his cake on the desk before him and he gave her a smirk as reward.

"It's fine," Momochi-sensei was saying. "Glad you're here. Class!" He turned to glare at them as they hurried to their seats. "Pay attention to the lady."

Shizune-san gave them a cheerful wave and nudged the girl with her forward. "Okay, guys, this is your new classmate, Yuki Haku. He'll be joining you guys from now on, so be kind!"

Sasuke, mid-yawn, paused.  _He?_  That was a  _guy_? … and his family name was  _Yuki_? Well... it matched his girly looks, that was for sure. Sasuke smirked, leaning back in his seat to stifle yet  _another_  yawn. Geez.

"Uchiha! You'll share your cake with Haku-san for today," Momochi-sensei said, not trusting a single one of the girls in the class. They may have poisoned theirs to get Sasuke.

Sasuke sat up, eyes wide. "But—"

"But nothing. Share it," the man ordered, frowning at him.

Sasuke scowled. "Tch. Whatever," he replied, and looked away. Well today officially sucked.

xXx

Second period passed, and Haku wandered the school bored. He'd looked up all of his classes in the first twenty minutes, and then had the last twenty five to do whatever. He tried to stick near his next class, which was easy.

He only passed a couple other students. One had been a tall guy with green hair, being followed by a black-haired, red-eyed boy that had far too much energy for this early in the morning. Another had been a shy girl who was staring at the door for what, by the sounds, had been some sort of math class. There had been yelling coming from that room.

Now Haku was meandering around the hall nearest his next class, glancing at the few posters set up around on the walls. One said 'smoking is bad!' and listed a long litany of facts about what would happen to you for smoking.

Finally, the bell rang and Haku made his way across the hall. The door slammed open and he was almost bowled over by a large, blue, shark-like guy. "Woah!" the guy scrambled to keep from running into him. "Watch it, girlie!"

Haku twitched, watching the boy run off. Half a beat later, an enraged female ran out of the class and after him, screaming about a weasel. The rest of the students just trickled out.

Haku waited for a break in the stream before stepping inside and walking up to the desk. Sitting there was a silver-haired teacher, reading a book that looked like it had a fake bookcover on it. Haku decided not to ask.

"Sensei?"

Mismatched eyes looked up, and the man blinked at him. "Aaah, Yuki-kun?"

Haku nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

The teacher closed his book and sat it down, then gave him a polite bow from where he was seated. "It's nice to meet you, Yuki-kun. I'm Hatake Kakashi, your Calculus instructor."

Haku bowed back, even as someone walked through the door, saying, "...the fuck should I care? It's just a dumb—oh, hi, Hatake-sensei."

Hatake scowled. "Jashin, watch your mouth, please."

The albino boy standing there smiled sheepishly. "Yes, Sensei," he said, sweating a little. He quickly went to his desk, his green-eyed friend departing from the doorway.

Haku blinked at the grumbling Jashin, then looked at the teacher. Hatake beamed. "Just find a seat, please. The only one with an assigned seat here is Jashin."

There was a burst of grumbling from the farthest front corner of the rows of desks. Haku bowed again and chose the third seat back on the other side of the room from the foul-mouthed albino. People were slowly meandering through the door, and Haku was only slightly surprised when a familiar boy walked in.

Uchiha Sasuke was no longer yawning, at least, but he looked annoyed. "Dumb Karin," he was muttering as he walked right passed Haku, then stopped and turned. "Oh! Yuki-san."

Haku smiled slightly. They had gotten along okay in first period. "Care to keep me company, Uchiha-kun?"

Sasuke shrugged and sat down in the seat in front of Haku, dropped his bag, then turned to smirk at him. "How was your second period?"

Haku shrugged. "I had a free period, so it was a little boring." He paused, then admitted, "Though I was able to look up all of my classes, so that is something, at least."

"True." Uchiha leaned over and dug through his bag, then pulled out a sheet of lined paper with several problems written on it. At Haku's curious look, he tapped the sheet. "Last night's homework."

"Ah."

"Okay," Kakashi said, as soon as the tardy bell had rung. "Homework out."

xXx

Geography, fourth period, pretty much ended when the energetic boy Haku had passed earlier—Tobi something or other—was stuffed into the trashcan by Jashin's green-eyed friend.

Haku gathered from the various whispers that this was not the first time, and probably would not be the last.

Kakuzu was assigned extra homework and sent to the office by their irate teacher, Mitarashi-sensei. He did not appeared too bothered by this.

xXx

With lunch came a sense of relief. A headache was starting to pound against his skull, so Haku got lunch and wandered out onto the quad.

Near one of the East Walls, he saw Sasuke sitting on the concrete apparently eating lunch with several friends. The black haired boy was talking to a friend who had his hair tied up in a high ponytail and as they were talking, Sasuke would occasionally throw a pebble into the bushes near a garbage can. The stones rattled through the branches, most clunking to a stop. Some of the time though, they seemed to fall silently.

"—doesn't matter to me what Sai says," Sasuke was saying. "I don't believe Kisame took it that well." There went another stone. *plink*

The other boy shook his head. "Sai isn't hurt though," he pointed out. "Sakura and Ino may be able to pack a punch, but Kisame would end him." Sasuke shrugged and chucked another pebble. *fuff*

One of the other boys shifted around and popped open a bag of chips. "Why are you even talking about it? Ask him."

Sasuke snorted. "That's what I'm doing." *plink*

The boy with the chips frowned at him. "Why isn't he coming out?"

"Probably because every time he does, Ibiki shows up," Ponytail replied. Sasuke let another one fly. *plonk*

Haku tilted his head. He'd been standing there watching for several minutes, but no one had noticed yet. Hm... how unobservant...

Then a hand landed on his shoulder and he turned his head, blinking up into black eyes. "Hm?"

The taller boy grinned. "Hello! How are you?"

Haku's brow furrowed as the others looked up. "I am fine, thank you," he replied. "And you?"

"I'm very well. What's your name?" Pause. "Oh, I'm Sai."

Sai. The boy they'd been talking about? He definitely was not hurt, though Haku had no idea why he would get hurt in the first place. "I am Yuki Haku. It is a pleasure."

Sai grabbed his hand and shook it. "Are you a girl or a boy?" he asked merrily.

Haku's brow twitched. "A boy."

Behind him, someone choked on their food. Haku blinked, and just barely saw the yellow and orange streak before it reached them. He backed away quickly, just in time for Sai to be tackled from behind.

"You actually did it?!" the blond boy yelped, having landed on Sai's back. "Holy crap! And he didn't kill you?"

"Do I look like a zombie, Naruto?" Sai asked, pushing himself up with enough force to send the blond rolling.

"Dammit, he didn't kill you?" another voice, this one feminine, asked from behind Haku.

He spun around, blinking and a little overwhelmed. Were all of Sasuke-kun's friends this loud?

The female ignored Haku in favor of walking up to Sai and grabbing his ear, then looking him over. "I'll be damned."

"You shouldn't use such language, Ino-san," Sai said. "No one will want to kiss that mouth."

"Oh, YOU!" She smacked him hard.

Haku's eyes were getting wider as the moments passed.

Sasuke chose to walk up to him at that moment and snickered at his expression. He waved a hand in front of Haku's face and grinned as the boy's gaze focused on him. "Hi Yuki-san."

Ponytail and Chips also walked up behind Sasuke, though only Ponytail actually offered a greeting. "Yuki-san? Hi, I'm Shikamaru," he pointed at Chips, "And that's Choji."

Smirking slightly, Sasuke pointed at the bush, "And, Kisame and Hidan are probably in there." He stooped down to pick up another pebble and tossed it. *fumf*

"'Probably'?" Haku asked, but then one of the stones came back, thunking Sasuke in the shoulder with unerring accuracy. *paff* "Ah, there does appear to be someone there... but why is he hiding in the bushes?"

The blond with the orange jacket and blue jeans wandered over, smirking. "Eh? Who's in the bushes? Is it those guys again?"

There was a slight rustle and a low voice murmured something.

Sasuke's eyebrow went up as well as a corner of Shikamaru's lips. Sasuke called out, "Hey Naruto, why don't you get them out here?"

"Ehhh..." Naruto peered at the bushes, eyes closing as he contemplated. "I guess." He shrugged and walked over to the bushes, then leaned over it. "Hey, guys..." Pause. "Oi! Don't ignore me! Why, you..." He backed up a few steps, then ran and cleared the bushes.

Haku's jaw dropped open as two pairs of arms whipped out of bushes and grabbed the blond kid mid jump.

"Hey!" the kid yelped and then he was dragged down out of sight.

Beside him, Shikamaru began to laugh and Sasuke was beaming like he had been told summer vacation was early.

Shika rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Oh, he's going to whine later," but he didn't look regretful at all. He looked at Sasuke and both of them grinned.

"They won't do anything weird, will they?" Haku asked worriedly. Behind him, Ino-san and Sai were apparently sparring. Or rather, he was dodging a lot while she tried to catch him. Everyone had already tuned out the screams.

Sasuke smirked and Shikamaru shook his head. The latter answered, "Only if he struggles too much. Ductape doesn't really hurt you. Speaking of which," The teen raised his voice, "he doesn't have to be so loud!"

There was a jerk and a yell was muffled. Quiet descended.

The only sound in the quad were Choji's chips and Ino's shrieks from behind them.

"I see," murmured Haku, and then he looked down at his tray. It had gotten cold. He sighed, but decided it was just as well; he'd lost his appetite. "Who is that in the bushes?" he asked, turning to look at the others.

"Okay, okay!" Sai was saying from behind them. "I apologize! Please stop trying to kill me, Ino-san, it's embarrassing."

The girl growled, decked him and stomped back over to her  _friends_. Sai followed, staring at her butt thoughtfully. "Sorry. I think I have to train him."

"I will have no problem with that," Sai said, beaming. "If I can have a hug."

"No chance," the girl snapped and sent him a glower.

"Kisame and Hidan," Sasuke repeated. "Kisame is a big blue guy, looks like a shark. Hidan... oh, he's the albino from Calculus."

Shikmaru looked over at Choji and asked, "Uh, Choji? Can I have a bag of chips please?"

The bigger boy gave his friend a confused look, "Yeah, sure." He handed over a bag.

"Thanks." Shikamaru took the bag and wandered over to the bush. "Oi," he called.

There was a rustle and Naruto rolled out from under the bushes. The kid was wrapped, head to toe, in dull silver tape. Oddly one foot was bare.

Shikamaru chuckled and tossed the bag of chips into the leaves, then stooped down to roll the blond towards the group. As Naruto's face turned into view, it was clear one of his socks had been pulled off and stuffed into his mouth.

Haku blinked, recalling the albino Shikamaru had mentioned. Hm... And a blue boy? Haku only remembered one, and that boy had assumed he was female. Though, admittedly, so did most everyone else, provided they were not told as much.

"It's not very kind to do that to him," Haku said softly, eying the trussed up blond.

Ino snorted. "He pranks them back. He'll come up with something." Then she beamed and held out a hand. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, and you don't have to use my last name. Just Ino."

Haku carefully shook her hand, then bowed. "I'm Yuki Haku, it's a pleasure."

Sasuke smirked and watched as Shikamaru calmly crouched down next to the bound kid. "Okay," Shika was saying, "I'm going to take out the sock..." He pulled the sock away from Naruto's mouth.

It took a moment for Naruto to work the cotton feeling out of his mouth, but when he did, he wasn't any happier.

"Shikamaru, what the hell?!" he shouted. "How'd you even arrange this! And  _why_!" Pause. "Wait, this is about the tentacles?!"

Haku blinked. "Tentacles?" he asked, stunned.

The sock went back in. ""Tentatively speaking", yes," Shikamaru deadpanned. He turned to Sasuke with a raised eyebrow. "We could just leave him here. Kisame has a lunch after us," he offered.

Naruto's eyes widened and he shook his head. Haku frowned. "What's this about tentacles?" He paused, then shook his head. "No, on second thought, I don't want to know."

"I don't get it either," Ino said with a sigh. "Weirdos."

Haku eyed her, brows raised. He  _got_  it. He just didn't want to know the ecchi details.

Sasuke actually appeared to be considering Shikamaru's suggestion. "We leave him for the shark," he mused smirking. "It's Naruto's lunch block too."

The other boy smiled, "He won't be missing any classes."

"Spending quality time with older boys is an excellent tactic for learning social skill sets from -" Sasuke choked "- good role models."

Shikamaru was nodding. "Definitely. He needs to learn how to behave around others... He nearly killed another student yesterday." He shook his head. "Very sad."

Haku sighed. "Zabuza-san assured me that this was a good school with a grand program for education."

Ino blinked and looked at him. "Huh? Zabuza? Oh, you mean Momochi-sensei, the cooking teacher?"

The pretty boy nodded. "Yes. He is my adoptive parent."

Sai patted Haku on the back and beamed. "This is an excellent school, Yuki-san! It teaches you about real world things. Cooking... sex... art... survival of the fittest..."

Both Shikamaru and Sasuke were looking at Sai with identical degrees of consideration.

"Maybe we can get...?" Sasuke began.

Shikamaru shook his head, "No, somehow he survived their last run in. Kisame must like him."

The other boy frowned. "He likes people?"

Shrugging, the ponytailed boy pointed at Naruto. "He didn't end up like that."

"True," Sasuke allowed.

Choji stood behind the both of them, listening in and nodding. They just wouldn't be able to convince the big blue guy. Who knew why.

Sai grinned, seeming to know what the other two were thinking. "So anyway... what's this I hear about tentatively speaking? Is that even a word? And how is connected to tentacles?" Pause. "And is there any way I can make a tentacle picture out of it?"

In the bushes, there was the sound of thumping and smothered laughter.

Haku's face felt hot. He'd  _draw_  something like that?

Ino made a face. "Why would you wanna draw tenta-" And she came to a full stop. Her face drained of color, and then it all came back. "Oh gods. Ohhh... oh gods.  _Ew_! You  _sick perverts_! Auhgg..." She shuddered.

Sai smirked at her. "I think you'd look nice in tentacles, though."

Groaning, Shikamaru dropped his face into his hands. "So troublesome." He glared at the snickering bushes and muttered accusingly, "Your fault."

"Holy fucking hell, Kisame! You're not the only twisted sick fuck here!" mumbled the bush amidst heavily muffled laughter. "Blondie even thinks that way eventually!"

"Hey, watch who you're calling names, potty mouth!" Ino retorted, scowling.

Haku sighed again. Maybe he could make an escape...? No, probably not...

"Kids!" a voice called, and they all turned to see Ibiki-sensei approaching. He glanced around and frowned. "Have either of you seen Jashin and Hoshigaki?"

Ino opened her mouth, smirking slyly, but Sai took the opportunity to grab her butt. She shrieked. "SAAAIIII!"

"Whoops?" Sai beamed.

Haku coughed. "I believe I saw Jashin in the West quarter, right before lunch. Does that help any, sensei?"

Ibiki nodded and took off in that direction.

Hidan stuck his head out of the bushes, giving Haku a once over. "What the hell?"

Haku smiled. "I'll make sure you pay me back later."

"Fuck." And he disappeared again, muttering, "Goddamn Kakuzus, every fucking where. Fucking hell. And girly ones too. Fuck."

Kisame's head made an appearance as well. He grinned at Sai. "Research?"

"Research!" Sai replied cheerily, and grabbed Ino's other butt cheek. She screamed and tried to stab him in the eye with a pencil.

He ducked under the assault, disarmed her and threw her over his shoulder. He patted her butt thoughtfully. "No underwear, either, it seems!"

"Why you..."

Haku was frowning disapprovingly at the display, but as it had nothing to do with him, he could hardly say anything. He felt distinctly less sorry, however, when Ino stabbed Sai in the back with a hair clip.

Sai yelped and dropped her on her ass, reaching behind him to try to get out the clip. Ino was glaring at them, but wisely remained seated. Haku set down his tray and walked over to Sai, slowly turning him around. "Let me see."

Sai was grimacing. "Okay... Ow, ow, ow..."

Kisame shook his head. Downed by a hair clip. Sad. He turned back and sat down. "Hey, Hidan? What do you know about those water pressure machines?"

Hidan blinked, glowering into the chip bag. He'd eaten about half of them. "Eh? Why the fuck would I know- oh, those." He leered. "Why?"

Shrugging, Kisame casually pulled out a photocopy of Sai's pressure map. "I wanted to know if it can carve these." He held the drawing up before the albino's eyes. He smirked. "Sai does good research."

Hidan took the paper, eying it. "Heyy, it just damn well might," he said, grinning. He glanced at the bottom of the page curiously. "Eh... Blondie?" He blinked. "Is this...?"

Stretched out and yawning, Kisame shrugged. "According to Sai, yeah." He turned his head to look out from the base of the bushes. The new girl was prodding the young artist's back. It looked like the clip had gone in deep.

Hidan hummed thoughtfully. "Daaammmn. I can fucking check, if you want. Old man Tazuna, the guy who runs that damn junk yard, has one. He uses it for his junk heap 'art' shit."

Maybe he should introduce Sai to Tazuna then... With those two talking shop, Kisame was sure something would be sorted out. He nodded. "Good. If this works out, I may just beat Kakuzu in getting my own business off the ground first."

Hidan snorted. "I fucking doubt it. That motherfucker'll kill you first. In your fucking sleep."

"There," Haku said, catching their attention. He pulled the hairclip out abruptly, making Sai yelp. "Does anyone have a bandage? Or an unused tissue and some tape?"

"I have medical supplies in my bag," Sai said.

"Oh, well that will work," Haku murmured. "Stay still, please." The newcomer walked over to Sai's bag and rummaged in it, then pulled out a small medkit. "Ah, this'll do nicely," Haku said upon peering inside. He walked back over to Sai with an ace bandage and medical tape, then patched the artist up. "All done!"

Sai spun around and grinned. "If I was gay, I'd kiss you," he said with a grin.

"Then I am most pleased that you are not gay," Haku returned with a smile.

"Ouch," Hidan said, grinning.

Snickering, Kisame agreed, "Definitely not gay, and that's a fucking blessing."

xXx

Japanese class, sixth period, passed with relatively no incident, as Haku did not have any lunatics in his class this period. The only familiar face was Choji, who remained mostly quiet through class.

Then came seventh period Mandarin Chinese...

"Wo ai ni," Sai was saying to a girl, even as he eyed her boobs rather eagerly.

To the boy's left sat an orange-haired boy, Akatsuki Nagato, though everyone called him Pein for some reason. "Sumi-san, would you  _please_  not irritate the female populace in my presence?"

Sai sat back in his seat as the girl stormed away. "Peeeiinn-kuun~ I've been meaning to ask... Can I draw you?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No."

It continued for most of the period in this manner, though eventually it switched to Mandarin so Haku no longer understood it quite as well. Despite their arguing, the teacher did not stop them, though occasionally, he'd wander over and correct their usage, or offer up new ways to say what they were saying.

When the bell rang, Haku was only too happy to escape the idiocy.

xXx

Last period Biology was not  _any_ better. Especially since he had Hidan again, and Hidan persisted in pestering a blue-haired girl—Konan, if Hidan's half-whispers were anything to go by—until she beat him half to death.

Luckily, she chose to do so  _quietly_ , while the teacher had his back turned. When Iruka-sensei turned around, he was shocked to find Jashin sprawled on the floor with a broken nose, bloody lip and his arm sticking in the wrong direction.

Haku made a mental note to  _not_  piss this particular girl off. Especially when she noticed him staring and glared.

He quickly turned around in his seat as Tsunade-san, the school nurse, came in to cart Jashin away.

She did not look surprised.

xXx

Haku sighed in relief as he trudged down the hall toward Zabuza's classroom. Today had been really weird, and while no one had done anything directly  _to_  him, it was enough that they'd disrupted his time for study.

He decided that his 'boring' second period free time was more 'peaceful' than 'boring'. Shaking his head, he stepped into the classroom to find that everyone had fled the moment the bell rung, their various stages of treats taken care of five minutes before.

Good.

Silently, Haku closed and locked the door, peering around in search of his 'father'. There were sounds from the second room of the two-room class area, where the stoves and refrigerators were. Smiling slightly, Haku set his bag down and snuck across the room.

His gaze darted toward the sinks in the back of the room. Zabuza was  _washing dishes_. Haku would  _never_  get used to that.

Smiling even more, he closed this door and shut off the light.

A plate dropped. "Huh?" The water was shut off as Haku quietly made his way across the room. "Who's there? Haku?"

Haku smiled. "Caught me," he said from right beside the older male.

Zabuza stiffened when the teen leaned against him, then relaxed marginally, though he was still pretty tense. "Haku? What are-"

Haku covered the man's mouth with a finger, both to shut him up and to find out where exactly his mouth was. Then he moved his finger and kissed the older man gently on the mouth. He didn't over-do it, as that would only make Zabuza jumpy, like last time.

When he pulled away, he commanded, "Hold me? It's been a stressful day."

Zabuza hesitantly held him as he'd asked. He sighed, knowing it was pointless to tell Haku how  _wrong_  this was. The boy was determined. "Did something happen?"

"These students are unnecessarily violent," Haku muttered, leaning into Zabuza's chest.

Zabuza blinked and thought that over. Well... Uchiha's bunch was. And so was... er, Uchiha's bunch. And Akatsuki's... Huh. He hadn't realized until now just how many violent students they had. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think about the students when I asked you to transfer," he admitted, giving Haku a tiny squeeze.

"What happened?"

Haku sighed. "Well... Let's see... everything wasn't  _too_ out of the ordinary until about lunch..."

xXx


	16. The Death of Enthusiasm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will be talking to you guys about STDs."

The gym was a loud, chaotic, chattering, scraping, bumbling, disgusting, shifting sea of students. Kisame had a bet going with Hidan to see who would snap first, Kakuzu or Konan. It had only been five minutes of the stupid assembly and already Konan had threatened a ninth-grader with a plastic fork. Things were looking up.

Eventually, everyone was seated. Those who had escaped had been dragged back by either Gai or Ibiki. Kisame had been half-way to that new hideout of Naruto's, Hidan on his heels, when Gai had tackled them at the top of the stairs. The fucker had actually tackled them and then yelped when the three of them crashed down the stairs. Hidan had kept up a pretty steady list of 'fuck's and their variations ever since. The freak of a teacher had fucking  _hugged_  them!

Kisame yawned loudly and was elbowed in the ribs.  _Ow! God fucking damnit_! He twisted around and glared.

A mirror image of Gai, only younger, turned slightly. "Oh! I apologize, Hoshigaki-san!" Lee cried. "I did not mean to hit you!"

"Lee, watch what you're doing!" Tenten hissed from beside him. "C'mon, hurry up and get to the next seat!"

They were being filed down the rows of hard metal chairs by class. Iruka's first period Biology class sat directly behind Kisame's first period English class. Somehow, Neji was with them—he had free for the first period of school—and was glowering at Kisame.

He still remembered that cock-blocked comment from the party. Oops.

"Oh, right you are, Tenten!" Lee gasped and quickly shuffled along.

Three seats to Kisame's right, Shikamaru yawned. The World History class shared this row, since it was significantly smaller in size than the English class. And then, ahead of them in the next row down, Deidara was bitching to Sasori.

"... coulda been doing something  _fun_ , but noooo, we've got a stupid assembly, un!" He sat down directly in front of Kisame and tossed a glance back at him.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Shut up, idiot," he replied, sitting down next to the blond.

Kisame smirked and flicked a finger at the blond's head. Hearing the resulting yelp, he sat back and waited for the show.

Which was not to happen, because further to his right there was a scream of outrage and a series of crashes then the students in a certain section were standing and trying to back away. Some of them were tripping over chairs while others fell into the laps of the oblivious neighbours.

Oh, there goes Ibiki, Kisame noted amused. And Tsunade. Anko... He grinned wide as all three teachers converged on the raging girl that was stabbing a student. At least he was assuming it was Konan. Kakuzu was somewhere to his left.

When the teachers finally surfaced, marching a stiff-backed, blue-haired girl from the throng of jittering students, Kisame stood up. "Hidan! Forty bucks cock-sucker! You owe me!"

"SUCK MY COCK!" Hidan yelled back... from the other end of the row. He flipped Kisame off, annoyed, and then stood and rapped Shikamaru on the shoulder. The lazy boy just about jumped out of his seat, somehow dozing despite the ruckus, and looked at the albino. Hidan grabbed his hand, put some bills in it and motioned toward Kisame while muttering something.

Shikamaru blinked and then stretched out without bothering to get up.

Deidara snatched the money before Kisame could, standing and backing out of reach. "Whoo! Lookie what I got, Sai!" he crowed to the boy sitting on Sasori's other side.

Kisame smiled at Dei. "I told Kakuzu that half of that is his cut." He tilted his head back to indicate the other teenager a few rows and classes away. "How much do you wanna bet he just heard you steal his share?"

Deidara yelped and glanced over, spying the bad-tempered money monger getting up. Hurriedly, the blond handed the money over, cringing away as Kakuzu approached. Kakuzu glared at him but stopped at the end of the row and held out his hand.

"Money. Now."

"Oi! That's fucking cheating!" Hidan protested, looking pissed. "You fucking cheating ass motherfucking—"

Thankfully, Pein, sitting right behind him, grabbed the albino and forced him back into his seat, glaring. He looked annoyed about the situation in general. "You were betting about my girlfriend?" he growled in the masochist's ear.

"Yeah? What the fuck about it?" Hidan retorted.

Pein growled, but as he was being eyed by Gai at that exact moment, withdrew. "I will be speaking with you later." His gaze turned on Kisame. "Both of you."

Deidara whistled. "Who'll win that one, un?"

Kisame slapped a twenty into Kakuzu's hand and both boys turned back to their seats, the blue boy shrugged at Dei as he sat down. "When it comes to money? Probably Kakuzu."

The blond gave him a skeptical look before sitting back down, just as the lights dimmed (but noticeably did not go out). Sarutobi-sensei stood on the stage, beaming at the crowd.

"Thank you all for attending!" he said into the mike, and politely ignored the grumbling that followed. "Now I know you are all eager to get back to class—"

"Damn straight!" Deidara hissed petulantly.

"—but this is an important assembly, as I am informed, to keeping today's youth  _safe_."

As he rambled on, Deidara turned around in his seat to scowl at Kisame. "No flicking my head, either, un!" he added, as if he'd just remembered. "Or I'll switch seats with Sai and see how  _he_  likes it!"

"Ooh, let's do that!" Sai said, grinning. "I have business with Hoshigaki-san anyway."

Deidara rolled his eyes but shrugged and got up. Sasori hissed angrily, only to get Deidara's middle finger in reply. The redhead looked like he was about to break said finger, but luckily (for Deidara) the boy had sat back down already, and Sai was sitting in Deidara's old seat with a grin.

"Idiots," Sasori muttered. "Shut up and pay attention. This is already enough of a waste of my time; I don't want you morons making it worse."

Leaning forward, Kisame rested an arm on the back of Sai's new chair and grinned at Sasori. "I don't think we can make this worse, Sasori. Do you even know what this," Sharky waved his free hand around, "is for?"

Blue boy leaned closer, daring the red-heads ire, "We've seen this already, dickhead. Last year. This exact month."

On stage, Tsunade moved to the front.

Kisame hissed, "Think man!"

Sasori glowered at him, then glanced at the front. The line up... was... familiar. "This is  _such_  a humiliating waste of time," the redhead growled, and thunked his head on the back of the chair in front of him.

The boy sitting there turned around, mouth open to protest the interruption, but then just as quickly pretended it hadn't happened. Akasuna Sasori was sitting behind him! Holy shit, he was gonna die.

Deidara snickered at his fellow artist's reaction. "Beep... beep... DING!" he said, mimicking a microwave. "He got it, un!"

"Shut up," Sasori snarled, voice deepening with his irritation to the point that it sounded completely unlike him.

Onstage, Tsunade stepped up to the mike and Sarutobi left the stage. She smiled at the students, obviously trying to keep from killing someone. "Alright, as I am the leading expert on medicine in the school, I will be talking to you guys about STDs," she said.

" _Boo_!" someone who sounded suspiciously like Hatake-sensei cried.

Tsunade glowered around, in search of the culprit, but no one seemed to stick out. "... alright..."

Sai turned around in his seat. "Hoshigaki-san, you have a minute?"

Snorting, the silver-eyed teenager gave the boy a flat stare. "Kid, I've got  _hours_."

Onstage, Tsunade had gone on. "... is the most frequent way to contract the most common STD, known as—"

"Don't kill their youth!" the voice from earlier said. Gai perked at the mention of youth, and there was a brief clamour from where Lee, Neji and Tenten sat.

Tsunade twitched.

Sai beamed at the answer, ignoring the stage. "I was researching those water-pressure jets you asked about," he explained, "and I came across something similar, but which is designed with sculpting in mind."

"Oh ho?" The larger boy perked up and grinned. "Fucking about time. Hidan never did get back to me about his boss' machine. So? Fill up the hours, buddy, because we have a few."

And as Sai started to outline the basic functions of the machine, its capability, its price, what would be needed for it to work, etc., Tsunade was still talking.

"... AIDS, which stands for acquired immune deficiency syndrome, is a disease of the human immune system caused by the human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV..."

"Sex is great! You shouldn't be so negative about it!"

Tsunade scowled and stopped mid-sentence. "Alright, where are you, you little..." Whatever she'd been saying had degenerated into mumbles as she stalked to the front of the stage and searched for the culprit.

Nothing, and she looked pissed about it.

And over between Kakuzu and Tobi... Kakashi glanced up at the two. "She still looking?" he hissed. "Ten bucks."

"No," Kakuzu replied. The only reasons he hadn't ratted the man out was because A) Tsunade had nothing he was interested in, and B) Kakashi had offered him fifty bucks to keep his mouth shut.

Tsunade had finally given up and gone back to her speech.

Humming, Kisame ran through a few calculations, but each time he did, the numbers ran short. He scowled, this new machine was going to be a bitch of an investment. "Any ideas if there's a fucking shop that already owns one?" Kisame growled, disappointed. "Even if I did work up enough to buy one and its fuel, I won't have the cash to buy materials."

Sai pouted slightly, ignoring the occasional irritated look from Sasori, and tilted his head. "Well... No. I could help, though. I mean, I have a part-time job after school, and I sell art on the side as well. I could take care of the materials and you could take care of the machine and fuel. Sound fair?"

"... next is Hepatitis," Tsunade was saying.

Sakura leaned over to frown at her best friend, eying her aunt. "You know, she looks stressed."

Ino snorted. "Whoever it is yelling like that is probably the reason!"

The pink-haired girl nodded thoughtfully. "It... sorta sounds like Kakashi-sensei," she said slowly.

As if on cue... "...chronic hepatitis often leads to—"

"You're killing their  _desire_!" the same voice interrupted once again.

Not even forty minutes into the lecture and she wanted to kill someone. And that someone read dirty books, written by another someone she frequently wanted to murder. "If you don't  _shut up_ , I'll show them a  _real_  reason not to have sex!"

Deidara squeaked. "What?" he yelped, at the same time as Kakashi.

Kisame all but fell out of his chair. "Oh HOLY fuck," he swore as he massaged his jaw where he had banged it on Sai's chair. "I do  _not_  want to see what the over-sized broad has in her pocket for scaring the balls off a man."

Ugh, this was going to bruise. Just from ducking out of sight of Tsunade. Or rather, so he couldn't see her. He liked sex. Sex was great. Wear a damn condom, check the girl out first, no problems. Simple.

Still hunched over and staring at his shoes, he nudged Sai. "She's not actually showing anything, is she?" If the fucking nut up front was going to post up a goddamn poster, he would stay on the floor facing the wrong way. And watch all the other kids shrivel and die.

Kinda like watching the reactions of the poor fuckers tricked into watching the 'two girls and one cup' video on Youtube, he thought grimly.

Sai shook his head, but Kakashi was talking. "You can't do that!"

"The hell I can't, you little—"

And she was dragged off stage by Gai and Ibiki, to go relax somewhere where she wouldn't be endangering the mental health of the students.

Sarutobi cleared his throat and stepped up to the mike. "Please, those of you young gentlemen that are cringing on the floor, Tsunade-san has agreed to leave to collect her temper, so you may return to your seats."

Several men, including Shikamaru, Kakashi, Naruto, Neji, Kisame and Sasuke, climbed slowly back up into their seats. Sarutobi sighed once everyone was settled again. "Our next speaker is Shiranui Genma, who has agreed to speak with you about the usage of condoms."

The Metal Class teacher stepped up and gave an awkward wave. "Yo."

There was a mumbled reply.

Genma cleared his throat and said, quite simply, "Boys and girls, and Kakashi, should there be any interruptions, Kakashi, I will write the interrupters up, or in Kakashi's case, kick his ass. Good, Kakashi?"

Silence.

"Good! Now, condoms..."

Shikamaru shook his head. "Troublesome."

"Useful." A few heads swiveled to jeer at Kisame, but he shrugged. They were. Babies were a fucking nuisance. Sai was looking at him for a completely different reason though. Oh right.

"Uh, yeah. If you get the materials, that's a fucking load off my mind," blue boy said to the pale one. "You sure though?"

Sai nodded. "Actually, I'm more interested in getting to a point where I can use it again, with permission, than with what it'll take. The future benefits far outweigh the cost." He smiled.

"He's gonna kill me," Kakashi was whimpering over in his seat. "Not to mention Tsunade. Ohh, and when she finds out about  _him_..."

"Him?" Tobi asked curiously.

But Kakashi only nodded miserably. "Yeah..."

Kisame snickered. "All I need to know is that I can use it eventually and for a good long while. No point buying the fucking bitch if you can't ride it a few times before it runs into the ground."

A few glares swung his way. He shrugged at them. "I'm talking about a fucking machine here. Piss off."

Sai was nodding. "True. Hm..." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "We'll have to get one with a warranty, then."

"What are you guys talking about?" a voice demanded from behind Kisame. It was Suigetsu, looking an odd combination between curious and annoyed.

"Who said it's any of your damn business, un?" Deidara retorted, glowering at the white-haired boy.

Arching a brow, Kisame swung around and regarded the skinny-assed kid behind him. "Tch, you can piss off too." He turned back to Sai, "We gotta find out if the extended warranty is sold only when I buy the thing, or if I can buy it later separate," he grumbled. "If I can get it later I will. Power tools usually have a year-long warranty like anything else."

Sai hummed thoughtfully. "We'll see what we can do..."

"Oi, that's no way to treat a friendly guy just wanting to conversate," Suigetsu persisted.

Sasori growled softly, but no one seemed to hear it.

Kisame rolled his eyes, and without looking, pointed a one finger salute at the ass. He was still going through numbers, including Sai now, and the equation nearly matched what was possible. However, if that kid disrupted his line of numbers again, he was going to put a chair through his torso. Feet first. Then possibly put the student who had sat in that chair through the fucker as well just to make a point.

Grinning widely now, Kisame tweaked the numbers again, adding in a few debts that he could call in... Almost...

Sai blinked. "What is 'conversate'?" he asked, curious.

"You know," Suigetsu said, motioning vaguely. "Like have a conversation. With a couple more guys."

Sai grinned. "Oh! I see!"

Sasori drew a breath in through his nose and gritted his teeth. Deidara glanced at him and shifted away.

"Shit!" Kisame yelped grinning widely. He just needed Itachi! A few poker games, and the numbers would match up! "Sai! I think we're in business!"

Sai beamed brightly. "With what?" Suigetsu persisted nosily.

Sasori ground his teeth together, and Deidara looked about ready to spring away.

Sai lifted a brow. "It is—"

Kisame's eyes snapped over to Dei's motion, then finally noticed Sasori's jaw. "Oh Fuck," he muttered. "Sai, move!"

Sai blinked, but was already scooting off of his chair. And then Suigetsu opened his mouth again. "What the hell is—"

"SHUT UP!" Sasori screamed and lunged over the chairs at the boy.

Deidara had barely avoided getting smacked, and Sai was a few shades paler than normal. Sasori was banging Suigetsu's head against the floor when Ibiki, Gai, Genma and Tsunade arrived, hauling the redhead off the younger boy.

Sasori thrashed, eyes such a dark red that they almost seemed demonic. "You pathetic waste of-" Gai covered his mouth, and cringed when Sasori bit him.

And then the redhead was hauled away.

There was a cough. "Ah, please correct the seating and sit down again, ladies and gentlemen," Sarutobi said calmly, as if a raging redhead had not just nearly killed another student. "Who was the one attacked?"

Suigetsu vaguely raised his hand, though as he was on the floor, only those hovering could see. Calmly, and without comment, Aburame Shino leaned over and propped the boy up, then carted him away in search of Tsunade.

"Ah, glad that's taken care of. Seats please," Sarutobi-sensei repeated.

From down on the floor, Kisame rolled his eyes and growled, "Next time, I'm teaching Sasori to end his kills in the first five seconds. Goddamn twerp can't finish anything."

He rolled to his feet and yanked his chair up. "Fuck! The ass got out!" he groaned and slumped back into his chair. "Not fair."

He looked up as the next teacher stepped up to the mike.

Or rather, instead of a teacher... Sarutobi-sensei stood beside a little-known man in a pair of slacks, a white shirt and an out-of-place red haori. He had long white hair that was tied up in a braid, the bangs left to hang around his face messily.

"ERO-SENNIN?!" came a surprised shout from closer to the front. Uzumaki Naruto had stood from his seat and was now pointing accusingly at the stranger. "WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU HERE!"

Sarutobi sighed and let the man with him take the mic, rather than try to out-shout either of them. "Heeey, Naruto! I'm a guest speaker!" he said enthusiastically. "And let me tell you, I'm kinda thankful to that redheaded guy, for distracting Tsunade... ooh, she's gonna kill me later..."

Naruto looked like he was going to say more, but Sakura bashed him on the head, forcing him back into his seat. "Pay attention, idiot!" she was berating the blond.

The man on the stage gave Sakura a wary look, then grinned at the kids as a whole. "I'm here to tell you about the  _perks_  of sex... er..." He glanced back at Sarutobi. "'Should-you-decide-not-to-heed-the-warnings," he added, in a rehearsed rush.

Kisame grunted, and decided that the rest of the assembly would be best dealt with asleep. Flipping Sasori's chair around, he propped up his feet, leaned back and closed his eyes. Fuck the speaker, he'd already read all the books.

"Lesse... how should I do this," the speaker was saying.

"Introduce yourself!" someone - Kakashi - shouted eagerly. He sounded like a love-sick fan.

"OH! That's right. Not all of your are perverts." The speaker grinned. "Right. Well, I am a very well-known ero-romantic writer and manga artist, Sennin Jiraiya. Some of you may have heard of me, but don't say so; your parents will likely be contacted."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I can't believe this. Who invited this guy?"

Naruto cringed away from her accusing glare. "It wasn't me!" he protested, loudly, just as Jiraiya was asking for a volunteer.

"Well, who better! C'mon up here, Naruto!"

Naruto paled and spun around to stare at his adoptive father. "What are you crazy?! I'm into girls!"

"THAT'S NOT IT, YOU IDIOT!" Jiraiya yelled, abandoning the mic to glower at his son. "GET UP HERE, OR I'LL MAKE YOU RUN LAPS!"

"Yessir!" Naruto said, looking horrified.

Kisame groaned. Nap was not working. He cracked an eyelid open. "Hey Sai. Can you do dictations?" He tapped fingers to his head. "If this shit continues any further, I'm going to forget my numbers. Write it out for me?"

Sai leaned down by his ever-present bag and pulled out some paper and a pen. "Sure, name the figures."

Naruto stood on the stage while several students snickered. His father patted his shoulder. "You see, this guy's a chip off the old block, I like to say..."

"Yeah, the only sane chip in the block," Naruto retorted, just loud enough that the mic caught it and amplified it.

Without missing a beat, Jiraiya's fist landed on top of Naruto's head. The boy stumbled and almost fell, though Jiraiya managed to keep him from tumbling off the stage. "Anyway... As I was saying. There's a lotta stuff I'm supposed to be telling you about pleasure sensors in the brain-"

"Read from your latest book!" Kakashi again.

Jiraiya perked at the idea. "Hey, there's a fun way to teach!" he said, reaching for his book.

Behind him, Sarutobi cleared his throat, and Jiraiya backtracked. "Uh... actually, not allowed to do that, but I'll be signing autographs later..."

Sai was actually writing for a few words before he realised Kisame wasn't saying numbers anymore, he was swearing. "—ass-wipe, cocksucker, mother fucker, fucking sunovabitch... aaarggh."

Kisame gritted his teeth. Somewhere, he had messed up. Sharky slapped a hand over his eyes and groaned. The numbers Sai was diligently writing down would not match up to his final number.

"Damn." He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. "Sorry man. Messed it up."

Sai tilted his head and shrugged. "Recalculate then. Simple," he said, looking unbothered.

Jiraiya was talking about the brain or something, but he kept trailing off about different sex positions, when the doors banged open. Jiraiya stopped mid word. "Ce- oh shit."

He dropped the mic and ran for the side doors, Tsunade tearing after him. Kakashi had ducked as soon as he realized what was happening, so she missed him, barely.

No one bothered following them to see what had happened. Sarutobi returned to the front of the stage and picked up the mic.

"Go sit down, please, Naruto." He ushered the shocked boy offstage and then cleared his throat. "Despite the numerous interruptions, we're still on schedule. Thank you to Shizune-kun for calculating." The woman off to the side bowed. "We have one more speaker and then you are all free to go about your day."

"'Bout damn time," growled Deidara, scowling. "I'm getting hungry, un. Almost time for lunch..."

Kisame mumbled distractedly, but was concentrating more on the numbers that Sai had written. "Fucker. There!" he pointed at a number. "I don't know why I spouted out twenty, that should be eighty. Okay, from there..." He muttered more numbers with Sai nodding as he wrote them down.

Most of the students, twenty minutes later, had already dozed off by the time all was said and done.

xXx


	17. Touch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who cares? Look at those abs!_ Inner Sakura inserted, drooling all over the metaphorical floor.

As Sakura walked up the drive to the Uchiha house, she was debating on inviting her… date… guy, whatever… Itachi. She was thinking about inviting Itachi to dinner. Were they dating? Yes. Were they boyfriend and girlfriend? Eh. She wouldn't go that far. But her mother would probably adore him, and Sakura had already long since met Mikoto-san.

It was a fair trade-off, she told herself. Yes, that was it. So how would she bring it up without sounding weird? Maybe it was best just to go casual. Yeahhh…

Shaking her head, Sakura stepped up to the door and lifted her hand to ring the bell, only for the door to swing open. Her eyelid twitched, but Mikoto-san only beamed.

"Welcome, Sakura-chan!" she chirped before ushering the rosette girl inside. "Itachi-san's up in his room. I'll call him down."

Sakura nodded as she toed off her shoes and slid on a pair of slippers. "Okay, I'll just head to the living room," she said.

As always, the house was spotless, though there was a pile of paperwork on the coffee table. Sakura lifted a brow at this, but realized that Kisame must have already been and gone. Supposedly he had work today, but his last period was a free period, so it made sense.

She sat in Itachi's usual spot and leaned over the papers, brows inching higher. Itachi had already finished! He apparently didn't need her help anymore, which was good. She couldn't help a little twinge at the thought, though. She didn't need to be coming over here every day anymore…

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't hear her own personal ninja sneak into the room, and nearly jumped out of her skin when he reached over the back of the couch and started rubbing her shoulders. Then she melted. "Oh, wow," she muttered, casting a glance over her shoulder and meeting his dark eyes. "Where'd you learn this?"

The man behind her smirked and bent down to nuzzle the sensitive skin behind her ear. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you," his rich voice husked in her ear. Chuckling softly, he lifted his face away to rest his chin on top of her head and continued to knead the tight muscles in her shoulders.

Feeling Sakura's head drop forward, Itachi brought his knuckles to bear on the small muscles in the base of her neck and the girl moaned appreciatively.

He hummed, letting his eyes slip close and concentrating on the smooth warm flesh under his hands.

"So, did you enjoy the mandatory assembly today?" Itachi asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Sakura groaned. And not because of that heavenly massage. "Oh geeze. The only reason I didn't lose my mind was because Akasuna-kun nearly killed Suigetsu, and that made my day," she informed him bluntly. She let her head drop forward. "That, and Tsunade nearly castrated Kaka-sensei. Oh!"

She pulled away and turned around, meeting his eyes. "And Naruto got the daddy treatment! He was  _so_  embarrassed!" She grinned. "His dad showed up to guest speak." And here she paused, frowning for a beat. "Actually, I think Kaka-sensei might have snuck him in. Baasan wouldn't have let him in if she'd known…"

"His dad?" Itachi blinked. When Hatake-sensei had separated his fight with Naruto, the teacher had mentioned that Naruto had a guardian. Not a father. "Kisame mentioned a guest speaker, but that was an author of a porn series."

Reaching out, Itachi pulled Sakura back against the couch cushions and resumed kneading the upper half of her neck.  _He_ hadn't finished yet.

She snickered. "Yeah. Sennin Jiraiya, author of the Icha Icha series, is Naruto's Godfather—Ohhh, daammnn, Itachi-kun," she moaned.

Fingers knuckle deep in soft pink hair, Itachi smiled. The girl was far too stressed. Leaning forward, he nosed into the crown of her head and pulled in a deep breath. Mmm, she must have washed her hair this morning, he could smell the sweet perfume of the shampoo.

His fingers drifted from her scalp down along the lines of her jaw. Those long digits supported her head as his thumbs pressed tight little circles behind Sakura's ears.

She opened her mouth to say something, but almost immediately forgot what she was going to say. When had she gotten so tense? Had she been studying too much? Or maybe she'd just been so worried about that fight that she'd accumulated the—oohhh…

"Are you trying to put me to sleep, Itachi-kun?" she mumbled.

Huffing a soft laugh, Itachi moved down to kiss the warm edge of her ear. "Don't fall asleep," he warned her. "Who knows where you might wake up."

He let his hands trail down her throat to rest just under her collarbone, fingertips ghosting back and forth over her soft skin.

"I wonder if I should take that as a threat or a promise," she replied distractedly. In her pocket, her phone buzzed, but she knew it was just the alarm telling her about her weekly tutoring session with Naruto–which she'd postponed for this week. However, it did remind her of something.

"Hey, Itachi-kun?"

"Hnn?" Itachi moved his lips in small nibbling kisses down from her ear to smooth column of her throat, he could feel Sakura's pulse. Wickedly curious, he reached out with his tongue to taste her skin.  _Wonder if she can keep talking if I keep…_

Crossing his arms across her chest, he pulled her further into the pillows of the couch as he leaned over and sank blunt teeth into her shoulder.

Sakura's eyes flew wide open in surprise. "Itachi—!" She groaned, forgetting what she'd been about to say. Briefly, panic surged. She shoved that to the back of her mind, gave it a firm mental kick and told it that it had better have a damn good reason for coming out again.

At the same time, one hand had reached up over her shoulder automatically. Her fingers threaded through his hair and her head tilted away, giving him access. "Itachi-kun," she mumbled, "what are you  _doing_?"

Leave it to Itachi to instinctively find her most sensitive spot.

Releasing the sweet warm flesh of her shoulder, Itachi hummed and licked his teeth imprints with the flat of his tongue. "Discovering." He nibbled closer to her neck. "Learning." Itachi's hot breath swept over the back of her neck. "Testing." The tip of his tongue left a long shivering line from spine to shoulder. "Appreciating." His teeth closed firmly over the waiting muscles.

She shivered, a hot spike of torment racing down her spine. "Right," was her only outward reply. Inwardly, she did a little dance and commented about how  _good_  this felt. She shook her head distractedly; he was driving her to insanity. "Well… I suppose I get that…"

Her eyes slid shut when he nipped closer to her neck. Oh ye  _gods_ … This man was going to eat her for dinner.

… dinner. Oh yeah. "Itachi-kun, I umm…" Another shiver raced down her spine when he fastened his lips to the dip between her neck and her collarbone. His tongue flicked out, rasping softly against it. "Had a question," she said after a full minute of silence.

 _I'm sure you did Sakura-chan,_  Itachi smiled against her skin,  _but I'm wondering…_  His hand gently nudged her chin up further and he trailed his tongue straight up from the cleft in her collarbone up to her dainty chin.

The black-eyed teen smiled down at the flushed face of the girl beneath him. "Join you on the sofa?" He quirked a brow as Sakura blinked up at him. "I'd be delighted to." Then the smug boy slid over the back of the couch, capturing her pink lips and tumbled in a swift controlled roll onto the cushions.  _Thank you mother, for vetoing father's wish for hard narrow seats._

 _That_ _ **so**_ _wasn't what I was going to ask him_ , a part of her brain quipped calmly. The rest of her brain was… kind of preoccupied. She sighed into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. That rather opinionated part of her brain decided to add another comment.  _So I take it you're not gonna ask?_

Sakura ignored it, deciding she was  _busy_  and she could ask  _later_.

Itachi paused, smirking, lips and nose again pressed against the sensitive skin behind her ear. The girl lay atop him: pliant, warm and gasping. She also hadn't gotten around to asking her question, nor was she making any attempt to.  _Hnn_. He wondered if debates could also be avoided this way. How far could this distraction go? When would her will resurface?

Lifting his hands from around her waist, Itachi moved his hands down between the crush of their bodies, undoing the buttons of his shirt, pulling the fabric away.

Nibbling around the bend of her jaw, he nudged his nose against hers. He waited until her hazy green gaze met his own considering one. When they did, he breathed, "Touch me." And Itachi pulled her hands from around his shoulders to rest upon the bare skin of his chest.

 _Getting frisky, isn't he?_  commented Sakura's conscience, tone cool and composed. No reply came, and Inner Sakura sighed, knowing she'd lost the girl.

Sakura's  _eyes_  were focused on Itachi's chest. Once again, she found herself in a state of _daaaaaammmmnnnn_. Vaguely, she'd registered his command, and the annoyance of that unaffected part of her mind. She shoved her hesitation aside and splayed the fingers of her right hand over his abs.

How could a guy be  _this_  sexy? she wondered as the fingers of her other hand pressed against his pecs and then dragged downward. She grinned when her fingers ghosted over his nipples and the shudder he barely managed to suppress.

Mmmm… Itachi clamped his fingers down around the cushions beneath him and told himself to stay down. This was the first time she was touching him without his interference and he wanted to see what she would do. What was she comfortable with and what did she favor? Where would her hands gravitate to naturally?

She had already noted his reaction to her fingers on his nipples, but would she find the other spots? Would she look for them?

Itachi muffled a groan as her touch ghosted over his skin.  _Well, there's another spot found_. He pulled in a deep breath and tried to keep his gaze trained on Sakura's face, fighting to keep from shutting his eyes and purring like a cat. Oh, he hadn't been petted properly for so looonnngg.

Sakura slid her hands down until they hit the hem of his pants, then up his sides, along his pecs and over his shoulders, transfixed. She hesitated for a beat before leaning down and licking a line down his rib-cage, then nipping the edge of the dip where his belly button was. She heard a stifled gasp, and inwardly cheered.

 _We're still in the living room,_  Inner Sakura tried again, and went on ignored.

Meanwhile, there wasn't much going on in Itachi's mind in terms of cognitive thought. He had already given up the fight to keep his eyes open. All his concentration had instead inverted to holding himself back from flipping them both and discarding every item of cloth between them.

Watching her face as she explored his ribs and stomach had been an exercise in will to stay immobile, but then her exploring had gone even further down. He had twisted his face into the cushions and gritted his teeth as her fingers trailed slow lines across twitching muscles. Itachi appreciated attention to his hips, but  _fuck_ it had been hard not to grab her right then.

When Sakura's soft touches returned up to his chest, Itachi let out a shuddering sigh. His muscles relaxed, his mind began to process again and his eyes opened once more.  _Shit, this girl was–_

Then Sakura's tongue touched skin, and Itachi went rigid. Everywhere.

 _Oh look,_  commented Inner Sakura, finally showing some interest.  _That_ _ **definitely**_ _did something, huh?_

Sakura, annoyed, told herself to shut up. She moved her tongue around the curved edge of Itachi's belly button, then dipped it inside and grinned when he was unable to stifle  _this_ groan.

 _Ha! Noise!_  Inner Sakura cheered victoriously, apparently forgetting her earlier opposition.

Sakura grinned and lifted her gaze to meet Itachi's. She froze, stunned at the heat in his eyes. Had she maybe gone a little  _too_  far? What if someone walked  _in_  on them?

 _Who cares? Look at those_ _ **abs**_ _!_  Inner Sakura inserted, drooling all over the metaphorical floor.

 _Fuck, woman!_  Itachi's throat worked, but he had enough mind left to keep his mouth clamped shut. Growling in frustration, he wrenched his hands from their choke hold on the couch and thrust demanding fingers into pink hair.

Half rising from the cushions, he pulled Sakura's lips down to his and they met halfway with a crash of lips, teeth and tongues. Fuck resistance. Itachi groaned into her hot little mouth.  _Oh, fuck me._

One of his arms snaked down her back to grip her around the waist and he flipped them both. With another rough movement, Itachi pulled his arm out from under her and he stripped off his shirt in short economic movements above her, all without leaving her lips.

Her heart seemed to have sped up to ninety miles a minute in the span of a breath, and she almost pushed him away. However, Inner Sakura would hear nothing of it.  _Oh no you don't, you idiot. You need to get_ _ **laid**_ _, damn you, and it sure as hell better be_ _ **this guy**_ _that does it!_

Sakura, after an argument like that, could not say no. So, she brushed her fingers down his waist and slid them inside the hem of his pants. Then she was unfastening the button of his jeans and sliding the zipper down. She had to admit, she  _definitely_  wanted those pants  _out of her way_.

Her fingers at his belt line triggered a few urgent signals: triumph, sex, and their location. Itachi groaned into Sakura's neck and mouthed hungry biting kisses down to the neckline of her shirt. He licked along the edge of the fabric, then continued to trail firm bites over the covered part of her breast, heading down and to the side, avoiding her nipple.

He growled low in his throat when he couldn't reach further, and sat up, dragging her upright in his lap. Itachi ignored her own frustrated growl as her fingers left his zipper half down and heaved the girl up to her knees, straddling him.

One arm wrapped itself around the backs of her thighs, pressing her hips into his chest, and he glanced up to see her smouldering eyes glaring down at him. He smirked, _Interrupted you, have I?_

Itachi kept their eyes locked as he nuzzled the underside of her left breast.  _Oh, fuck she is hot_. He opened his mouth and bit down carefully on her ribs, just under the swell.

She groaned softly. "Fuck," she muttered under her breath, head falling forward slightly. She threaded her fingers through his hair and slid them out, taking his usual hair-tie with them. His hair fell around his shoulders and she grinned. " _Much_  better," she said smugly.

Itachi mumbled, "Much," into the fabric of her shirt. Then his free hand came up, pushing the hem of her shirt up and out of his way, while the arm supporting her legs pivoted up to pinch her bra clasp open. Fingers catching the fabric, thumb snagging the wire of her bra, Itachi lifted the obstacles from her flesh away. The arm at Sakura's back dragged down her back, latching onto the waistline of her pants and pulling her down flush with Itachi's front. He closed his eyes.

"Much better," he echoed Sakura. Both arms wrapped around her thin frame, hugging her tight.

For a panting moment, Itachi relished in the feeling of her skin against his own: the heat radiating from her stomach and the cooler press of her breasts. Groaning, Itachi opened his eyes.

Sakura squirmed, feeling hot all over. "I-ta-chiii," she whined, tugging a lock of his hair pointedly. "Don't stop."

Ye gods, she wanted to just shove him over and molest him, but the way he was holding her, it'd be next to impossible to accomplish. A thought occurred to her, and she added, "We're still in the living room," though it was said vaguely, as if this were only a  _minor_ concern (it was).

A smirk and a soft chuckle. Itachi nodded and nosed down into her cleavage. "I can change that." He turned his face, and licked a hot path up the inner side of her breast.

Arranging his arms around her hips, Itachi took a moment to adjust her weight against him, and rose up from the couch in a smooth motion of muscle and balance. Once standing, he smirked against her chest, feeling her give a strangled gasp as her legs wound about his waist and her arms clutched around his shoulders.

"Don't move too much," he advised her and bit down into the soft heat next to her left nipple.

"Oh ye gods," she moaned, trying to stay as still as possible while he moved toward the stairs. Inner Sakura was having  _way_  too much fun with this.

_Ooh, c'mon, you tease! The_ _**nipple** _ _!_

Oh shut  _up_ , Sakura thought, just as Itachi started up the stairs.

Itachi grunted and stopped abruptly. Then he began to snicker. Nibbling and sucking on the same patch of flesh on her breast, he hummed cheerfully.

"Sakura," he murmured at the hickey developing under his lips, "could you tighten your legs?"

Chuckling, Itachi carefully shook his head at the hilarity of the situation.  _I've got stairs in front, a girl wrapped around me, and because of her my pants are falling down._

She smirked and obliged, managing to pin the hem of his pants to his waist. "Does that work?" she asked breathily.

"Perfectly," Itachi complimented her. "Don't ease up."

Itachi hitched Sakura up higher, bringing up his pants. As she gasped and giggled above him, he gave in to temptation and closed his lips around the tight pink nipple and sucked, curling his tongue around the hard bud.

Making a sound that was half gasp, half groan, Sakura clung to Itachi's shoulders like her life depended on it. His touch sent a burning jolt straight down to her groin, making her squirm in an effort to get closer to the source of that  _wonderful_  feeling.

Letting go with a soft hum, Itachi readjusted his grip on the wriggling girl. He nipped the underside of her breast in retaliation. "Didn't I tell you not to move?"

He tilted his head and lifted a brow at her flushed expression, then he smirked. "Hang on."

Gripping her hips with his right arm, Itachi reached out with the left to find the wall. Nose still nudging soft pale skin, he steadily made his way up the stairs. Though Sakura emitted a startled squeak when they reached the landing and she knocked her head on the hanging light.

Grinning, Itachi kissed her sternum. He turned towards his room, fumbled the door open and sighed as they finally cleared the threshold. "Finally," he muttered as the door thunked closed.

xXx


	18. Falling Castles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We can still visit. It's just a little further to travel, right?"

Later, maybe an hour, the two lay satiated and warm on his bed. Sakura was content for silence, but Itachi had other ideas.

"You had a question?"

The pink-haired girl blinked a few times, trying to remember. Inner Sakura sighed.  _Duh, dinner?_

Oh right. "Actually, yeah." She gave a small embarrassed laugh. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to come over for dinner… I've met your mom and all, but you haven't met mine, so it seems a little lopsided." She paused. "She's a total stickler for neatness, by the way, not that I figure you'll have much of an issue about that…"

 _Sakura sweety, you're rambling_ , Inner Sakura said calmly.

Oops.

Amused, Itachi pulled her closer and nuzzled her throat. "No issue." He lifted his face from her hair. "Tonight?"

Itachi would need to tell Okaasan that she wouldn't need to include them for the evening meal, but that was a minor matter. No doubt, once she knew the reason, Okaasan would be pushing them out the door in minutes.

She grinned up at him brightly. "Yep! Mom says she's making tempura tonight… which is weird, 'cause she only does that when it's my birthday, but hey, not gonna complain here," she rambled.

 _What is_ _up_ _with you? Don't you dare turn into a rambling mess after having awesome sex with the sexiest guy in creation,_  Inner Sakura threatened.  _If you do, I will tell Naruto_ _all_ _about it._

Sakura barely managed to keep from yelping and instead buried her face in Itachi's chest.  _Crap. Now I'm receiving threats from myself. I_ _swear_ _this guy is bad for my mental health._

Inner Sakura snorted.  _Pssht. You love it._

 _Oh shut up_. She lifted her head again. "Do you like tempura? If not, I could phone ahead and tell kaasan—"

"Sakura," Itachi interrupted, "tempura is fine." He kissed her firmly then drew away after a few cozy moments.

He sighed and sat up, looking at the clothing scattered across the floor. "When is she expecting us?"

Sakura choked on a breath. "Well… she sorta… isn't," she admitted sheepishly. "I told her I  _might_  have a surprise for her tonight, but it wasn't anything definite."

Twisting back around, Itachi leaned down over the girl, caging her in with his arms. He gave her an arch look. "Have you been keeping me a secret?"

He was amused by the idea and watching his lover squirm made him smile.

"Not really," she hedged. "She… well, it hasn't actually come up, you see. Though she probably suspects…" She coughed sheepishly and met his gaze. "I just haven't had a… anyone special in a while, so I didn't think about it, really."

An eyebrow went up as did a corner of his mouth. "Am I your dirty little secret, Sakura?"

She smacked his bare shoulder, face bright red, and fought a smile. "Oh, go ahead and make fun of me," she retorted.

Smirking, Itachi eased closer and rested his chin between her breasts. "What other things are you not telling your mother?" Which instead of continuing the levity, promptly killed it. "How much of us will stay a secret?" he asked, waving a hand at their nude bodies and scattered clothing.

Her eyes widened. "Well, I'm not exactly gonna go and tell my  _mother_  that I had sex with you, if that's what you mean," she replied. "She'd go ballistic."

 _Unlike my own mother_ , Itachi thought. Okaasan had left him a note that morning, saying that he had the house until nine. If Sakura's mother was that sheltered…

"Did she know about Suigetsu?"

"No," she replied immediately. "I know she knew that something happened—she's not dumb," she added, more to herself than her lover. "She never mentioned it, though. Maybe I'll tell her one day, just… not now." She sighed.

Both his eyebrows winged up. "What am I to be then, Sakura?" He lifted his chin from her warmth and looked down into her eyes. "A friend? A boyfriend?"

She bit her lip and was silent a while, before taking a deep breath and looking him in the eye. "Well… a boyfriend? If you want…"

A slow grin spread across his face, and Itachi lunged forward to capture her lips for a long sweet moment. When he let go again to let them breathe, his hands were cupping the back of her head and his body had slid around to fit against hers.

He nuzzled her neck, a long sigh of contentment gusting over her collarbone.

 _Well,_ _someone_ _'s happy_ , Inner Sakura observed.

Sakura smiled a little at the thought, running her fingers idly through his hair.  _Yeah_. "I'll take that as a positive response," she murmured, a warm feeling in her chest.

 _But then_ —Inner Sakura started, but Sakura was having none of it.

_If you go bipolar on my ass—again—then I_ _swear_ _we'll be seeing a shrink first thing Monday morning!_

Inner Sakura just smirked and fell silent.

Itachi hummed in response, and nipped at her neck. "I'm honoured to be your boyfriend, as long as you are my girlfriend in return," he said, pressing a warm kiss to her cheek.

She shrugged. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think it would be a mutual thing," she pointed out.

"Fair enough." He nodded and stroked a thumb along her jawbone. "So, what  _are_ we telling her?"

"Well, mmm…" She pursed her lips. "Ah, 'Mom, this is my boyfriend, Itachi.' And from there, basically the truth, if you ignore Suigetsu and uh…" She made a vague gesture. "This."

Itachi tilted his head at her. "Where does she assume you go? When you are here at my house almost daily?"

"I tutor a lot," Sakura replied offhandedly, "so she stopped asking a while ago. Now she just gives me a curfew and says to make sure my chores are done before bed. I usually call if I'm not going to be home for dinner."

"Hnn." Itachi brushed her hair back with a few fingers. "And that night at the beach, she thought you were tutoring?"

"No, I told her I was going on a date… which was true," she replied, smiling slightly. "I usually tell her the truth… mostly. I just omit some things," she admitted sheepishly.

Itachi hummed knowingly. "Telling the truth, but not the whole of it." He paused. "And if she asks if I have touched you?" His body moved against hers in a very significant, very specific way. "What then?"

"She won't," Sakura replied. "She never has, and she's too shy to ask such a thing without me bringing it up."

"Hear no evil, speak no evil," Itachi replied, "but she still has her eyes."

He rolled over and pulled black hair away from his face. "Perhaps I should have left sex for another day." Itachi smirked over his shoulder at Sakura. "We're going to be eating home-made tempura while still basking in the after-glow."

She rolled her eyes, her face turning red again. "Yeah, yeah. Oh well, let her wonder," she replied, waving a hand as she sat up. She cast her gaze around, brow furrowing. "Where'd my bra go?"

Itachi smirked again and pointed up.

The bra was hanging by the strap... at the very top of one of the bed posts.

She groaned, exasperated, and smacked him on the shoulder again.

xXx

The door clicked shut behind her and Sakura smiled, smelling the scent of cookies. Her mother had made  _cookies_  for dessert! "I can't believe this," she said with a tiny grin toward her boyfriend.

"Sakura? You're home?" a soft voice called from another room, and a woman stepped into the hall. Her hair was straight like Sakura's, and a pale almost faded sort of pink, though it went past her shoulders—where Sakura's stopped—and fell down her back. Her eyes were expressive yet soft, and a warm brown; Sakura got her eyes from her father.

"Hello Mom," Sakura replied, setting her shoes in the rack and straightening.

Her mother was eying Itachi curiously. "I'm glad you're home," the older woman said and smiled at Itachi. "And with your guest. Hello, I'm Naiyuri Shizuru," she greeted, and bowed politely.

The black-haired teen soberly bowed in return. "It is an honour to meet you, Naiyuri-san," he replied gravely. "Thank you for having me."

"You're very welcome," she replied with a bright smile to combat Sakura's bright smiles.

"This is my boyfriend, Itachi," Sakura said, smiling back.

Shizuru's brows lifted in surprise before she gave Itachi an even bigger smile than before. "Oh, it's nice to finally meet you!" she said, making Sakura choke.

"You knew!?" the pink-haired girl gasped.

"Oh heavens, yes, Sakura-chan," Shizuru chided. "Naruto can't keep secrets, remember?"

Sakura groaned. "Just great."

Chuckling, Itachi turned and presented Shizuru with a rather large tin-foil covered platter. "Okaasan insisted," he replied to the curious expression on the mother's face.

"Are those what I think they are?" Sakura asked, eying the slightly rounded shapes beneath the foil.

Itachi smirked and noted the muffled laughter from Shizuru as he held the platter high above Sakura's reach. "Perhaps," he grinned at the girl, "but they are for your mother."

She gave him an evil look. "Hmph. I don't care! I'm on a diet anyway," she said, sticking her nose in the air.

The smiling teenager extended the goodie plate to the older woman saying, "We are not allowed to ask for any part of the gift," he slanted a look at Sakura, "since we have had these before."

Shizuru chuckled and accepted it. "Thank you, Itachi-kun. Do you mind if I call you that? Or would you prefer Uchiha-kun?" She turned and led them down the short hall, into the dining room that was set for three people.

Both of Itachi's eyebrows went up as he shared a look with Sakura. Her mother was certainly accepting him easily enough. As a first boyfriend meeting a mother, the encounter was going incredibly well.

"Itachi-kun is just fine, Naiyuri-san," he replied smoothly.

"Good!" She motioned toward the table. "Take a seat; I'll be right back." And she took off for the kitchen.

Once she was out of sight, Sakura sat down, frowning slightly.

Itachi sat across from the perplexed girl and tilted his head after the mother. "She is taking this well." An eyebrow arched up. "Too well?"

Sakura swallowed. "Better than I'd thought," she admitted. "She flipped out when I started tutoring Naruto, thought we were going out and gave him the 'talk'." She shook her head and eyed the table. "I wonder what's up…"

"Perhaps because of Naruto, she has had time to adjust?" Itachi offered. He shrugged. "You have spent time with both him and my brother to no harm. It's possible she is now comfortable with the idea." Sakura didn't look convinced.

"You don't know my mother," she said dryly. "Somehow, I get the idea that if they were in high school, your mom would be head cheerleader and mine would be the bitchy band geek."

She shook her head and eyed the room around them. Things were missing… Frowning, she got up and walked over to the top ledge of a fireplace, where there'd been an entire line of pictures and knickknacks the day before. Now, it was only dust, and the spaces where items had once sat.

She ran her finger along the shelf, not noticing when her boyfriend ninja'd his way up behind her. "Why?" she mumbled to herself, staring dumbly at the dust on her finger. She dropped her hand and turned around, nearly smacking her nose into his chest. "Oi!" she yelped. "Watch it."

She pouted up into his expressionless—yet somehow smug—face, wiping the dust off her finger onto her jeans.

"For a fighter, you certainly aren't observant," Itachi quipped, dropping a quick kiss on her nose. Noticing the dust free spots on the mantle, he frowned himself. "Is something wrong?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I'll ask her later, if she doesn't tell me at some point tonight," she said uneasily. She purposely let the comment on her abilities to observe slide, as it wasn't really important.

"Hnn." Itachi rubbed warm hands up and down her upper arms, then pulled her toward the table.

As they sat down again, he took the time to look at Sakura's home. Without a male influence, the colours drifted towards the warmer tones. Multiple pillows, all the hues of the rainbow, were tucked into every available corner. And the blushing pink curtains fluttered in the breeze. It  _felt_ feminine.

"Your home is colourful," Itachi said blandly.

"You mean girly?" she interpreted with a grin. "Sasuke-kun had that exact look on his face when he first saw it." She snickered.

The lone male shrugged. "There isn't a reason for your home to be anything else; however," Itachi eyed the plates, "buttercups?" His tone was somewhere between pained and incredulous.

She burst into laughter. "Would you prefer the roses?" she asked, eyes dancing.

"Yes," he replied, straight-faced.

Sakura giggled again and got up, grabbing his plate, spoon and cup and disappeared into the kitchen. A moment later, she returned with replacements, in rose pattern instead of buttercups. "Here, Picky," she said, setting them down in front of him.

An eyebrow shot up and Itachi inspected the china in front of him. Soft rose petals in red and pink hues tastefully decorated the rim, while a trio of fully opened blooms dominated the middle of the plate.

He looked up at Sakura's grinning face. "Does this come in black and red?"

"Nope," she said, trying and failing to smother her giggles. "You'll have to deal with the pink. You know, real men wear pink…" She grinned.

Itachi blinked slowly. "Hnn." A pained look crossed his face. "I've been around Kisame too long," he muttered.

She snickered. "Oh?"

"Far too long," Itachi repeated. He picked up a spoon that had a pink rose on the handle and sighed.

"Oh cheer up, it's not going to maim you," she pointed out as her mother walked into the room with a pot. "Oh, Kaasan!"

Naiyuri smiled and waved her off when Sakura started to stand. She carefully set the pot down on top of a potholder sitting in the center of the table. She offered Itachi a smile as she started to dish the food out. "So Sakura-chan told me you're a senior?"

"That is correct," the teen replied, as he brought the other two bowls next to the pot. "Thank you," he added as Sakura's mother handed him a full bowl.

"You're quite welcome, Itachi-kun," she replied, finishing and then sitting down. "So what do you plan to do once you graduate?"

Humming, Itachi sat back from his bowl. He tapped the spoon against the rim thoughtfully before replying. "There is a position open for me within my family's company once I graduate; however, I have plans for university." The boy shrugged. "I cannot rely on family ties forever. Self-reliance is crucial."

Naiyuri smiled. "What do you plan on studying?"

Tipping the spoon back and forth, Itachi frowned slightly. "I'm caught between robotics and biology," he admitted. "I may take courses in both, even if it will take me longer to graduate. Regardless of what I prefer, I will need to take a minor in politics."

Itachi sat forward and took a sip of the soup. "This is good," he said softly.

Naiyuri beamed. "Thank you!" She fell silent, and for a little while, none of them said a word.

Until Sakura noticed something. "Okaasan!" she gasped, staring at the walls. "Where are the pictures?"

Naiyuri sighed, setting down her chopsticks. "Hm… well, maybe it's good that your boyfriend is here, so he can hear the news first hand…"

Head tilted to the side, Itachi carefully put down his chopsticks and glanced at the younger Haruno, but Sakura only looked alarmed.

"Naiyuri-san?" Itachi prompted.

Naiyuri gave him an apologetic smile, then looked at Sakura. "Honey…" She attempted a smile. "We're moving."

"WHAT!" Sakura shoved her chair back and jumped to her feet, eyes wide and fists clenched. "TO WHERE?!"

"Sit down, and stop acting like Tsunade-chan already," Naiyuri ordered patiently. "Honestly, you spend way too much time with that woman."

Sakura flushed, thoroughly scolded, and sat down. "Sorry," she mumbled, taking a deep breath. "Where?"

"Suna," Naiyuri replied simply, and waited out the next explosion with the patience of someone with much practice. When Sakura sat back down again, she continued. "My job was… Well, I'm no longer able to work there anymore," her eyes darted toward Itachi, as if curious about his reaction to the news. His face was expressionless, so she looked at Sakura and continued. "Thankfully, an old friend of mine told me that there's a similar position in Suna, with enough pay to support us."

Puzzled at Naiyuri-san's glance, Itachi frowned. "And you have the position?"

She nodded. "Yes. My friend also helped me with that. Everything is all settled, except for an apartment." She looked at Sakura. "I'll be going on to Suna to find one. I've packed a lot, but I'm counting on you to pack the rest while I find a place to stay. You can continue to go to school here until then."

Sakura slumped, trying not to pout. "We really have to?" she asked.

Naiyuri gave her daughter a regretful smile. "Yes. I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. You'll have enough time to say good-bye to your friends, and arrange the rest of your unenrollment. Sunagakure Highschool has been notified that you will start school next week there, and I talked to Sarutobi-san about you staying in his school till then."

Sakura sighed and sat back, running a hand through her hair. "Yeah…"

Itachi reached over the table and wrapped a hand around Sakura's. They sat in silence.

Suddenly she stood, her hair falling to shield her face. "I'll be right back…" She squeezed his hand gently and walked down the hall.

Naiyuri sighed.

Standing from the table, the boy looked over at the mother. "Excuse me." He left the table to trail after Sakura.

The bathroom door was shut and locked, the light on and the water running. There was the soft sound of steady thumping, slow and almost gentle. She didn't hear his knock, or she ignored it.

In truth, she was staring into the mirror, fighting frustrated tears. She had to move, and she'd  _just_  gotten a boyfriend! And to  _Suna_ , of all places! Granted, Suna wasn't  _that_  far away, but it was in a freaking  _desert_!

 _Tap tap_.

Sakura lowered her face to splash water over it, an attempt to keep herself from crying. It was a damn stupid reason for her to cry.

_Knock knock._

Sakura growled, the water running down her face, and jerked open the door. Her mind was in a different time and place, one where her mother told her they were moving away from her father.

" _What_." She looked up and into her boyfriend's eyes, then abruptly deflated. "Oh. Itachi-kun. I said I'd be right back, didn't I?" Hadn't she?

With a solemn look, Itachi opened his arms. "Hug?" he offered with a small smile. His tone was a distressing mix of offer and plea. Sakura wasn't the only one who was fighting back a sick feeling in the stomach.

She obligingly wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. "We can still visit," she said after a moment, voice muffled by his chest. "It's just a little further to travel, right?"

Lowering his face to her hair, Itachi breathed deeply, taking in the floral shampoo and the underlying scent that was Sakura. His arms tightened and his lips curved into a smirk.

He hummed and murmured, "You're going to kick my ass to the curb if I show up in the Junk car aren't you?"

"Maybe. I may miss you too much," she said, also smiling. "Mom's going to be worried…" She sighed, but made no move to back up.

"You know," Itachi said quietly, "with the awkward distance between us, perhaps sleepovers can be arranged…"

She nodded. "We'll see," she agreed with a smile, looking up at him.

Her boyfriend nodded and turned her around by the shoulders. "Go see your mother," he suggested as he gave her a gentle push, then a sharp slap on the ass. When Sakura turned back to face him, Itachi grinned. "She's worried."

She looked toward the ceiling as if asking the Gods for patience, then turned back and walked down the hall. Naiyuri wasn't at the table, so she walked to the kitchen. She stood at the sink, doing dishes. "Kaasan?"

Naiyuri looked up and gave her a smile. "I'm sorry, Sakura…"

"I know, kaasan. It's okay."

The woman sighed. "Things will work out," she promised. "Everything gets better."

Sakura nodded. "I know, kaasan. I'm going to go out with Itachi the rest of the night, I think… unless you need me here?"

But Naiyuri shook her head. "Go, enjoy yourself."

"Hai." The pink-haired girl walked out of the kitchen to find her boyfriend in the living room. "Let's go out and do something," she said.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE don't kill me (or Lost). This had to happen. This was written so long ago.


	19. It's Official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visiting was maybe seeing her once a week. Maybe twice. VISITING was not seeing Saukra in the morning of every day.

Clouds were good and fine. But rain was troublesome. Grumbling under his breath, Shikamaru slumped against the wall nearest the window and watched the water trail silver tracks down the glass. At this point though, he thought, getting soaked was nearly preferable to listening to Ino work herself into a righteous rage.

Fifth period had started with a screeching blonde girl hauling him and the others down the hall and into the cafeteria. The few students sitting at this corner table had run from her glare and Ino had been ranting for nearly a quarter of an hour.

Sasuke finally got fed up with it. "INO," he said, voice much louder than any of them were used to from the normally quiet-voiced Uchiha. "We get it. It's all horrible for you and every single one of my brother's fangirls in the school. Now chill out, okay?"

Sai nudged the blonde beside him, smiling widely. "I could distract you," he offered, hand reaching for paper.

The resulting yelp and the sound of paper being crinkled and tossed away had Shika rolling his eyes. In doing so, he caught sight of Sasuke's expression. A little pale, maybe even green. Shika snorted. Well, who would want to hear about their brother's sexual activity?

"Well, I'm getting food," he announced standing up from the bench. Beside him Choji looked up hopefully. The laconic kid smirked. "You coming, Choji?"

The two of them left the table as Sai picked up the paper ball. Shika glanced down and saw sketches of—he shut his eyes.  _Not looking. Not looking._

Sasuke sighed, letting his head thunk softly against the table. "I think my crazy brother's stolen one of my best friends," he muttered, more to himself than any of them.

Ino snorted. "Right, 'stolen'. Seems to  _me_ like she held up a red flag crying her location to him and just waiting for him to sneak off with her."

Shikamaru's feet seemed to speed up on their own. As he left the table behind, Shika heard Choji chortling as he half ran for the hot-food stand.

Tunnel vision had never been one of his faults, but the arm shooting out from under the table as he was passing, Shika really should have seen coming. With a yelp that took most of his air, the poor kid was dragged down between the seated students who were uneasily pretending to be oblivious.

Looking into the beady eyes of Kisame, Shikamaru could understand why.

"What do you want?" he gasped as Choji hurried over.

The blue teenager ignored the pineapple head for a moment and waved the Akimichi over. "Stay down!" he hissed. Over his shoulder, Hidan grinned at the two boys.

"Hey, what happened?!" Choji cried, leaning down with only some difficulty to peer under the table.

Hidan bared his teeth in a smile that spoke of a cat scenting a weakened elk. "Hiya! We were wondering if we could get any damn service around here..." His eyes flashed gleefully.

Spluttering only made the damn loon grin wider. Shikamaru immediately decided not to do that again. Ever. He looked over to Kisame and saw the exact same expression.  _Fuck_.

"Troublesome," he muttered. "We're not your waiters."  _Well that sounded confident_. Shika mentally kicked himself.

Shark-boy grinned wider. "But you're here! And oh so helpful." he nodded mockingly. "I want the roast chicken."

Shoulders rounding, Shika glanced over to Choji who shrugged. "We could just get it. They've gotta pay for it, though," he said, meeting Hidan's eyes. Very few people could scare Choji, and even then, he was the type of person that was calm enough not to show it (unless you call him fat).

"Thatta boy!" Hidan crowed. "Good  _fucking_ answer." He looked pleased though, and started pawing through his pockets. He scowled. "Oi! You filched my fucking wallet again, didn't you, bastard?" he demanded of Kisame, scowling more at the Sharky's innocent expression (which could be akin to a shark trying to smile brightly, only to bare its teeth in a scary display of doom).

Shika snorted and looked around in disgust. "You're going to eat down here?" He hadn't noticed before, but they had to hunch down uncomfortably to avoid both the gum under the table and the muck on the floor. Mud got everywhere.

Pulling forward a dark denim wallet, Kisame pulled out a twenty and handed it to Choji. "Course not," he retorted. "We'll be in that hidey-hole."

He elbowed Hidan. "Order up. We gotta go."

Choji blinked. "Hidey hole?" He looked confused for a moment before realizing. "Oh! Right. We can bring it there," he said nodding. "We'll meet you up there."

"Great!" Hidan said, snatching his wallet from Kisame as the other moved to put it back in his pocket. He grinned and flapped a hand at them dismissively. "We'll be up in the damn hideout place or whatever the fuck you wanna call it."

Rolling his eyes, Shika sighed. "You want chicken too?"

"Eh? Oh, yeah, sure," Hidan said, already distracted with making sure the coast was clear.

Muttering under his breath, Shika left Choji out from under the table. Unexpectedly, Kisame's blue hand reached out and tapped him on the ankle. Leaning back down, Shika met silver eyes. "What?"

"Keep the tip," Sharky flashed him a grin and then turned to haul a protesting Hidan out from the other side of the table. The two teens sprinted out of the cafeteria and out the doors.

Ten minutes later, the two climbed through the trap door into the small cranny where they'd set up the bean bags and pillows. Naruto was grinning and eagerly explaining something to Kisame in a corner, and the occasional half-giggle, half-cackle filtered through their invisible bubble. Hidan, slouched on a blue beanbag, just looked annoyed.

"Oi! Food, dammit," Hidan yelled at Kisame.

Kisame's head popped up and he grinned. "Fantastic. Leave it over there." And then he was lost again in whatever happy ridiculous world Naruto's pranks were creating.

Shambling over to the central area, Shika and Choji let down the various paper bags and slumped into bean bags themselves.

Hidan snatched up one of the lunches and wolfed half of it down in the two minutes it took for Kisame to finally drag himself over. Naruto grabbed the only orange beanbag in the room and sprawled out over it on his stomach as the other boy got his own lunch. "So, you guys skipping again?" the blond asked cheerfully.

It was woefully apparent that he hadn't heard the latest rumor, and Choji was loath to let him in on it.

Lounging half on a black bean bag, Kisame let out a short bark of a laugh. "Would you stand around watching Gai and Lee go at it in a wrestling match? For half an hour?" He grimaced and put his roast chicken sandwich down for a moment. "In those bright green spandex?"

Naruto's nose wrinkled. "Unfortunately, I have PE before you. Fortunately, I'm good enough that Gai-sensei didn't know I was even in his class until the second six weeks of the first semester." The blond's smile was cocky.

"Bitch," Hidan retorted, a sulky tone to his voice.

"Cunt." Kisame's tone was markedly less sulky and more admiration. He picked up the sandwich again. "So you've been working on that for the whole day then?" A blue hand gestured to the pile of loose leaf papers.

Naruto nodded. "Gotta get the bastard. He's new around town, and it's only courteous for me to give him some of my undivided attention." He grinned, teeth almost sharp.

Choji found it amazing how many of his regular acquaintances had animal-like countenances.

"New guy?" Shikamaru slitted open an eye. "Who's left?"

There were several new students in the past two weeks and Naruto had been giving out 'presents' like a delighted demented Santa Claus.

"Suigetsu," Naruto said, preening. "He's going to have a really  _good_ gift in his locker this afternoon."

"Like tentacles?" Hidan asked with an innocent grin in Shikamaru's direction.

A dark eyebrow twitched, but the boy didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he continued to laze away eyes closed, head tilted back. A lone hand, accompanied with a lone finger did salute Hidan though.

Kisame snickered.

Hidan grinned. "I'm not into fucking guys, either, so tough luck." He paused a beat to let it sink in, then added thoughtfully, "Man, you just really can't get  _any_ of your freaky fucking fetishes these days, can you, Nara?"

Naruto tried not to laugh, and largely failed.

The boy in question groaned and pulled a pillow over his face. A muffled 'shut up' came through the stuffing. Choji reached over and patted Shika's shoulder.

Across the room, Kisame and Naruto both hooted with laughter.

"I hear we're having calamari next week," Hidan continued, on a roll. "Maybe you can fuck that."

Naruto looked red, as he'd been holding his breath to try to calm down. Choji just shook his head.

Sighing, Shika lowered the pillow and looked at Hidan. "I wouldn't be able to fit through that, but maybe you could."

Naruto hooted, and laughed. "Oooh, that's harsh!"

Hidan just grinned, eyes alight with sadistic glee. "You got  _no_ fucking idea how big my dick is," he said, leering. "I certainly trump a tiny guy like you."

Shika snorted. "Then Sai would love to talk to you. I'll let him know there's a prize specimen in our school."

Hidan leered. "I'll kick that guy's ass.  _He's_ a fucking freak."

"Literally," Naruto said, and grinned at the raised brows.

At that, Shika stood up. "Leaving," he said decisively and all but tumbled out the trap door. Gossip-mongers. If it wasn't Ino, it was Naruto. With Choji following, he left for the next class.

Naruto snickered. "I should get going, though. I'll see you guys later," he said snatching up his old beat up backpack and slinging it over one shoulder.

Hidan grunted. "Whatever," he said.

Naruto ducked out of the trap door, closed it and hid it, then left for the cafeteria to catch the last ten minutes of lunch, and a few stolen moments with his best friend and co. When he got there, to his surprise, Ino and Sasuke were arguing.

Off to the side, Sai was sketching out the scene. On closer inspection, both models were in their underwear. Catching Naruto's eye, Sai grinned and casually shaded in Sasuke's groin.

Naruto shook his head, glad he wasn't the subject of small dick jokes again, and plopped down beside his best friend. "So what's up?"

Sasuke turned his head away from the female and sighed at Naruto. "Nothing," he lied.

Unfortunately, Sai was not of the same mind. "Itachi and Sakura are—" Ino's hand shot out and clamped over his mouth.

"What about them?" Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, you know, the usual!" she said, voice too high to be taken seriously.

Sasuke scowled and debated stabbing Sai with a plastic spork, but refrained. That was something his brother would do, not him. "They're officially dating," he said indifferently. There was no point hiding it now, as Naruto would only pester them until they spilled the beans.

The blond kid snorted. "Big whoop." A shriek yanked Naruto's attention across the table, while Sasuke just sighed and closed his eyes.

Sai turned to face the boys as Ino let go of his face to scrabble at his wrists. Which were half way up her shirt.

Quite placidly, the pale kid said, "Oh it is a big whoop! I imagine that Sakura is probably rather loud."

"SAI!" Ino screamed, struggling to move his arms. However, as he had proven on more than one occasion, he was a lot stronger than he looked, and trying to budge him was like leaning against a brick wall to topple it over. His fingers remained where they were, and his arms didn't move an inch. She looked about ready to murder him.

"Idiot," Sasuke growled.

"Loud?" Naruto asked blankly, then went pale. "What the FUCK do you mean by LOUD?!"

Ino was momentarily distracted from Sai's attempts at groping by the other blond's shouting. "Aahh... Naruto, calm down, huh?" she suggested tentatively, then yelped when Sai ruthlessly took the advantage her distraction had given him.

Sasuke glowered at his red-faced best friend. "It's just what you think, dobe."

Blood rushed up into Naruto's face and turned it dark cherry red—but then also drained back out just as fast. "Fuck." He dropped his face into his crossed arms and yelled into the table. "FUCK!"

Sai beamed at him over forgotten food. "That's it exactly, Dickless!"

Ino harshly elbowed him in the side and then winced. The guy was built like a rock! Sometimes she hated boys.

Sasuke sighed, shifting uncomfortably. "It... well..." And he trailed off awkwardly, not knowing what to say in this situation. 'I'm sorry' would sound too rehearsed or over used, 'it'll be okay' would be too harsh, and 'I'm here for you' wasn't something Sasuke said to anyone (even if he would be there for them, like with Naruto).

Growling, Naruto shoved himself straight and stepped away from the table. "Getting food," he said shortly and marched away.

"He took that rather well," Sai said mildly. Turning to Ino, he frowned at her. "What did you do? Your breasts have shrunk!" The last was said in faint horror.

Her fist met the underside of his jaw, knocking him clean out of his seat and onto the floor. "I'LL SHOW YOU SHRINKAGE!" she yelled, lifting a foot.

"Ino-chan, noooooo!" a girly voice cried in horror off to the side (it may have been Tobi).

Ino stomped down, only to be met with the resistance of Sai's leg. Cup-wearer he might be, but he wasn't one to tempt fate. She stomped again and her leg was caught, and she screamed when he jerked her down on top of him.

Sai grabbed one wrist, trapped the other arm between his shoulder and his jaw, tangling their legs together at the same time. The one free hand he used to palm her breast in a series of quick precise presses.

The confused expression cleared, and Sai grinned. "It's a different bra!" he said delighted. "Unpadded," he added approvingly.

Her face was turning an alarming shade of red, and Sasuke wondered—as the school bell rang, declaring the end of B lunch and fifth period—if she was about to blow up. "SSAAAIIIIII!" she yelled, and head butted him in a way that was vaguely reminiscent of Naruto.

"Ouch" was all Sai said as he let go of the furious girl. When Ino rose from the mud of the cafeteria floor (of which she was curiously clean) and kicked at him, the prone boy blocked her heels almost absently. "That hurt." He rubbed the red spot forming on his forehead.

"Good!" she said angrily, and spun away to stomp off.

Sasuke sighed and held his hand out to the artist. "You know, she's going to kill you one of these days," he commented.

Undaunted and grinning, the pale boy grasped the proffered hand. "Oh, she'll try," he agreed amicably, "and each time she does, I have another chance to cup those wonderful jugs of hers."

Sasuke smiled slightly, pulling Sai to his feet with ease. "I look forward to your funeral," he said, musing on how fond Sai seemed to be of  _Ino's_  breasts. He wouldn't touch Sakura's (then again, the one and only time he tried, she broke his arm), or Hinata (Naruto broke his arm), or Konan (Konan broke his  _leg_ ), or anyone else. Just Ino.

xXx

Sasuke and Naruto were surprised to find Sakura waiting in the once-usual spot after school. She turned when Hinata beside her waved and started to walk away. "Naruto, Sasuke-kun," she said, smiling slightly. "Hi."

"Why are you here?" Sasuke asked curiously. "Weren't you and niisan going to study tonight?"

She nodded. "We are. But I have something to tell you two. It's sort of important, and couldn't wait, so I'll be joining him later."

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto said softly, holding a hand out to her. Her eyes were a shade too bright, skin pale, and her lips were a thin tense line.

She smiled.

Sasuke frowned. "Sakura. Tell us?"

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip and she took Naruto's offered hand, letting him tug her into a three-person hug. "We're moving," she mumbled against the blond's chest.

Time seemed to stand still for Naruto. Hell, the sunlight seemed to freeze. After-school noises and the birds seems to fade into a dull roar that flooded up from his chest and thundered into his ears. Sakura was MOVING?!

It took a moment to realize that he was shaking. Another, to realize that there was a pale hand clamped securely over his mouth. Was that muffled yelling coming from him?

MOVING?!

Sakura wasn't stupid. She knew the two were having a (mostly) silent war over the blond's immediate, over the top reaction. She chose to ignore it and keep her head tucked against Naruto's chest. It was amazing, that she'd ever forgotten how easy it was for someone to let their guard down around this boy. Even her. She just had to close her eyes and ignore everything to pretend all was right.

And it  _felt_ like it.

"Where are you moving to?" Sasuke asked quietly after a moment. "We'll come visit."

She nodded and finally stepped back. Or tried to. Naruto's arm around her waist didn't budge, so she didn't get more than half an inch before she could go no further. She sighed. "Suna," she admitted.

"Mmmm-MMmmmfffffhhhh?" Naruto half yelled into Sasuke's palm. Forget the dull roar—it was thundering now. HIS Sakura was moving to SUNA? FUCK THAT! "Mfmff, mh mo mm o mmm mfff!"

She was leaving them! Visit? What was Sasuke thinking?! Visit? Visiting was maybe seeing her once a week. Maybe twice. VISITING was not seeing Saukra in the morning of every day. Not seeing her in the hallways every day. Not seeing her after school. Not seeing her... NO!

The damn bastard was still not moving his hand. Well, that was easily fixed. Naruto opened his mouth and prepared to give the asshole a chomping of a lifetime.

Sasuke moved his hand in a quick move and pulled down on Naruto's earlobe, then got him in the stomach and covered his mouth again. The blond was forced to let go of Sakura, who quickly took several steps back. "Sorry, Sakura, ignore this," Sasuke grunted, struggling with Naruto in one of their frequent wrestling matches.

She sighed. "Would you guys stop? Naruto, I know you're pissed, so am I, and so is—Well, there's nothing we can do about it."

Held down in a half-kneeling position, Naruto tilted his face up to look at his Sakura-chan. His vision blurred from whatever it was in his eyes (probably from the dust while wrestling), his jaw was trembling (He was angry! ANGRY!), and the thundering had died into a cold, hard, unfeeling silence.

"S-sakura-chan?" Damnit his voice was NOT wobbly! Sasuke had a knee in his chest that's why it was hard to breathe. Even if the bastard was on his back and not his front and the world was not going grey around the edges and what happened to the sunlight? "WHY?"

It was almost audible the way the frozen sunlight seemed to shatter and fall at the sound of Naruto's plea.

Her breath caught at the heartbroken look on his face, and the tears about to fall from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Naruto," she mumbled, looking away before she herself started to cry. She was  _not_  going to cry about  _this_. It was just a... a... a little... she was just...  _moving_. That was it. It wasn't something to cry over, and the boys would still visit, and Itachi would still visit and he'd even promised to bring Dei and the others over occasionally (he'd outright refused the 'once a week' thing she'd tried to bargain, saying that he didn't want to make Naiyuri uncomfortable). Hell, she could even come for a visit to  _Konoha_.

"There's nothing I can do," she added after a long silence.

Sasuke slowly got off the blond, judging that now he'd calmed down from the immediate rage, he wouldn't be a danger to anyone (or school property). Not that he'd ever hurt Sakura, but there were a few people eavesdropping not so subtly (Sakura didn't seem to notice and he wasn't about to tell her).

Sniffling loudly, Naruto struggled to his feet. Gah! Stupid dust. He scrubbed his sleeves over wet eyes and shook his head. A deep breath in. Think. THINK! There had to be a way to fix this. There had to be right?

"Not," Ack, gunk in throat. Naruto coughed and tried again. "Not asking you what you can do, Sakura-chan." The blond took another deep breath and lifted his head. "Asking, why move?"

If he knew why. If there was a reason for it (and there had to be a reason!). Between him and bastard, there had to be something they could think of to stop the move! Unless... Naruto shook his head. Idiot! Sakura-chan was still his friend. He couldn't doubt that.

She swallowed. "Kaasan... she lost her job, and a friend helped her get a new job, but it's in Suna. It pays a little more, and it's a good job, in an okay environment... And tosan doesn't want to take me, so I have to move with her..." She shook her head, swallowing again. "Even if tosan took me, I'd still move to Kirigakure..."

Sasuke sighed. "It's okay, Sakura. Don't worry about it. Do what you feel you need to do; we'll still be here, and we're only a phone call away." He scowled at Naruto warningly.

Naruto, however, seemed to have had an epiphany. "You can stay in my house!" Sakura-chan EVERY DAY! It would be perfect! Except... "Or maybe bastard's. Cuz. Jiraya... No wait. Itachi. Aaauuggh! AAAAAHH! No, no. My house. Definitely my house. But... Pervert." His face scrunched and his hand came up to scrub through his hair. "Neh, Bastard? What is worse? Pervert or Itachi?"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, already seeing the coming storm. He didn't even get a word in before Sakura decked Naruto so hard his feet flipped over his head before he landed on his stomach with a whoosh of lost breath. "WHO'S THE PERVERT, YOU PERVERT!?" Sakura screamed, stomping toward the blond. "AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY BOYFRIEND!"

Sasuke stepped out of her way, deciding it was wise just to let her go to town on the idiot.

"Aaauuuggghhh," Naruto wheezed. Sakura-chan had a good right-hook. Slowly rolling over, he looked up into furious green eyes. "Pervert? My dad?" Naruto offered weakly. Seeing no change in Sakura's expression, the prone boy shrugged and looked over to Sasuke. "So... Sakura-chan can stay at your house!"

Her foot landed in the middle of his back hard enough that his spine popped (not broke). "NO! I'm  _moving_ , you... idiot. Just accept it," she said, voice cracking.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he stepped over to her. "Sakura?" He held out an arm. "Let's go somewhere private?"

She looked up and sniffed, seeing quite a few people around them, eavesdropping. She nodded. "Sure."

Oh pain. Sharp, sparking pain. It hurt to think. Needless to say, it hurt a lot when Naruto's brain jumped up and yelled, ' _I'm not gonna get left!_ ' Naruto groaned, "Can someone help me up?"

Sasuke sighed and helped the blond stand, annoyed. "Let's get to the roof," he said.

Sakura nodded and looked around. The only face she even vaguely knew was Haku, but he seemed to be waiting for someone and was out of earshot. The rest of the people were finally dispersing, so she felt that it was safe enough. She hugged Naruto. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Eh," Naruto squeezed her tightly. "What are friends for?" This was Sakura-chan. She was one of his precious people and had never given him a reason to doubt her. Not even now. No distance, no time, no  _boyfriend_ , could ever lessen her in his eyes. And definitely no measly move! Even if it was to another city. For who knows how long. To a school that he and bastard weren't in. Where they couldn't protect her.

Oh damnit. That dust was back again.

She sniffled. "Thanks, Naruto," she mumbled as they walked through the doors and headed for the stairs. "I dunno... what I'd have ever done without you..."

Sasuke grimaced, hoping they didn't expect him to cry next. He was upset about this, sure, but he wasn't going to show such a weak emotion. He was stronger.

"Oy, bastard," Naruto was peering over Sakura's pink hair. "That dust got to you too, huh?"

"Shut up," Sasuke growled, and pinched him.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes folks, it's official; she's moving.


	20. These Final Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Remember those brownies?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah - I should mention that there are OCs in this fic.

A shirt fell out of the gym locker and the boy beneath grunted in annoyance. Kisame shrugged. "Oops."

The shorter brunet just grumbled and held out the shirt as he locked his own locker.

Taking back the run-away clothing, Sharky grinned at the boy's back as he disappeared into the crowd. "Not my fault, I swear!" Wasn't his fault that it sucked having a bottom locker. It just happened. To other people.

Turning back to shove the shirt back in, Kisame blinked as he felt a tap on his arm. He looked down to see a pale grinning face.

"Sai?"

"Hello Hoshigaki!" Paper rustled as the smaller boy pulled out the ever-present portfolio. "I am selling—"

From across the locker rooms: "SAI!" The screeching blonde terror had apparently followed him in.

"Ino." Sai looked a little surprised.

Blinking, Kisame started to grin. "Let me see," he urged as she got through the first room.

A little pre-occupied, Sai dipped a hand into his folder and pulled out a sheet.

 _Huh_ , Kisame looked at it. Another pair of breasts. The sketch was good. The subject matter, however, was surprisingly smaller than usual. "Not Yamanaka's?" he asked.

The artist shook his head, replying. "Sakura's. She's moving, so I'm thinking of selling post cards to commemorate her departure."

Sharky hissed. "Fuck man." He hurriedly passed the paper back. "Sorry, can't help. Itachi would kill me."

"You were my last hope," Sai said deflating. "No one else—"

"Damn straight, no one else! You're a jerk, and if Sakura doesn't murder you, I sure as hell will!" Ino shrieked, practically vibrating with fury as she skidded to a halt behind the artist.

Chuckling, blue boy tapped the locker beside him. With a growl Yamanaka swung her gaze to him and he smirked. "Locker room, sweetie." Aqua eyes blinked at him. "The  _men's_ locker room," Kisame said pointedly.

Ino turned red. "Wha—I—ugh! I'll get you later!" she yelled at Sai before escaping.

Shrugging, the tall blue teen looked over at Sai and nearly laughed. The artist had a look that was between disappointment and confusion. "What's wrong with you?" Kisame asked.

"Why aren't people interested?" Sai murmured. "Is the art style wrong for the audience?" the boy muttered to himself.

"Uh... Sai, I don't think that's the problem." Kisame reached out and patted the other boy on the head. "Just don't bother, okay?"

Silently, the pale teen nodded and slid the paper back into the satchel.

"Coincidentally, who else have you approached?" If the boy had kept to a select few, he may just survive Itachi.

"Oh, I've had flyers up on the bulletin boards all morning." Sai shrugged. "Maybe an hour or two?"

Nope. Dead meat walking.

xXx

Aaah, Art class. One morning, it could be a quiet affair, with the soft sound of breathing and pencil over parchment, and the next, there were various artists at each other's throats. Complete with screaming, arguing and name-calling, not to mention the pulling of long blond hair.

"DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS IDIOCY!" Sasori was yelling this morning. This would normally be a shock, but he had a habit of getting loud and violent in periods one and six. Also known as his shared classes with Deidara.

Deidara, currently having his hair jerked back hard enough that his neck was straining, flailed. "IT'S NOT IDIOCY!" he yelled back. "Daaaannnaaa!"

Of course, it didn't help that the class was larger than usual, as both their class and the first period Culinary Arts class were sharing this room. Apparently, the CA classroom had flooded.

And Yuki Haku looked very pale as he watched the violent two...

Off at another table Sasuke was getting a headache. Frowning down at the model of a volcano, the raven-haired heart-throb of Konoha High was trying to explain to Sai why his brother was to be avoided.

"Sai, you're proposing to hand out art of Sakura's bre—chest." Sasuke winced. "Of course Itachi is pissed."

"Not for free, I'm charging." Sai didn't bother to look at the art project and was devoting all his attention to the younger Uchiha. "I thought he would like having people remember Sakura fondly."

The Uchiha cringed at the word 'fondly.' "Look," he growled. "Didn't you even think that Sakura would be offended? She broke your arm the last time you groped her."

"That was when we first met," the artist waved off the supposed insult. "Now she is familiar with me and knows that I am only being appreciative." The boy looked thoughtful for a moment. "I admit, it would have been lucrative business. At five dollars each, I'm sure people would have bought them."

Scowling, Sasuke shook his head. "Only if you didn't tell anyone who they belonged to, which would have defeated your purpose. And what were you going to do with the money anyway?"

Sai smiled. "A project between me and Hoshigaki. We are trying to raise funds to make replica models of Ino's jugs."

xXx

Sakura was just getting out of Lunch when she realized it. She'd left her notebook in her Engineering A class. Cursing herself, she told Tenten she'd be right back and to please make excuses for her if she was late for their shared English class, then dashed toward the Arts building across the quad.

In the doors and down the hall, and just as she reached the proper section of hall, she stumbled, accidentally going too far... not that she knew it. And so, she stepped into the wrong classroom without glancing at the number and came up short at the scene inside.

This was actually the Culinary Arts classroom, and on one of the tables sat the teacher... and then straddling his lap and leaning forward to kiss him was Yuki Haku, whom she'd only met a couple of times.

He must have seen movement out of the corner of his eye, because he jerked back and turned to see her there, eyes going wide with horror.

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Sakura feeling more and more awkward as the silence went on. Then she blinked and shook her head.

"Lock the door next time, neh?" The pink-haired girl turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

A moment later, she stuck her head back through the door, carefully looking at the floor and not at the scrambling couple. "You two are cute together!" she called, then, blushing, she ran off for the correct classroom.

Haku blushed brightly and then looked at Zabuza with a knowing smile. "I told you so," he said, and got up to lock the door.

xXx

Someone had been messing with his calculations. There was new numbers written on the blueprints and none of them were in his handwriting.

Most of the old numbers were still there, some crossed out while others were underlined. Itachi gritted his teeth and drummed his fingers on the table. It wouldn't have been so bad if the new numbers hadn't been in ink. Red bold ink.

And it wasn't just numbers. There were new lines in traditional pencil and careless smudges showed that his impeccable diagrams had been partially if not wholly erased. Three weeks of work. None of it was usable because he couldn't trust any of the lines there on the plans.

Sure he remembered what the diagrams were of and for, but this was metal working; angles, measurements, and order of soldering, all had to be precise, double checked, and above all,  _correct._

Sasori had taken a look at the paper, hissed, and stomped off to find the teacher. Kisame had taken a look at Itachi's face and had immediately brought out a new sheet and started redrawing the lines.

Spreading a hand across his brow, Itachi shut his eyes and sighed. Perhaps it was a good thing that Dei had gone home sick earlier. The blond would have cried at the delay this would cause. They were working on his launcher after all.

Cried or promptly blown up the machine shop anyway.

"Itachi." Sasori was back. The group leader opened his eyes. Behind the redhead was a frowning Genma.

"Man," Genma sighed, looking at the mess. The paper hadn't been that way yesterday, which meant it had to have happened sometime today. He couldn't tell who had done it, though. He had Engineering classes all morning and then ADV Metal in the afternoons, so he couldn't pay attention to everything all at once. Irritably, he rubbed his jaw. "I'll find out who did this... Is there any chance  _any_  of you would have made copies of this for any reason?" he asked.

Sasori shook his head. "No."

"Dei may have roughs and possibly some blowups of the more complicated parts," Itachi said slowly, thinking.

Behind him, Kisame stood up and walked over. "It's his baby. Of course he'll have material. Though," blue boy looked down at the paper spread out before them, "he won't have the complete design."

"You've restarted?" Itachi looked back at the table. Kisame had a few lines drawn from memory and in the corner was a rough overall sketch.

Kisame shook his head. "I don't remember the specifics. Basics, yes. But..." he trailed off and shrugged. As casual as he looked, the Uchiha noticed that his hands were curled into tight fists.

"Well," Genma sighed. "You should see if you can't get a hold of Deidara and get whatever he has. It's better than nothing," he pointed out. He glanced up toward the corner of the room, where a security camera rested. "I'll work towards finding out who did this and having them speak with the principal. Please don't do anything on your own." He gave them all a stern look, then waved his aid over.

The male, tall, redheaded and red-eyed, was working towards becoming a teacher and may even become one in the next few years. He bowed to Genma and quirked a brow at the mess on the table. "Mm, a prank?"

Genma nodded. "Yes, Yoko-san. Do you think you can keep an eye on the class while I go speak with security?"

Yoko Kyuubi nodded. "Of course. Just leave it to me."

"Alright. I've given them permission to try to get a hold of their other partner, who may have pieces of the sketches. Leave them to it, please," Genma instructed.

Yoko bowed. "Hai."

Off to the side Itachi and Kisame stood looking at each other. Sasori had growled out that he was taking a walk and had disappeared into the hall. Judging from the sudden silence, the rest of the students were keeping out of his way.

"I'll tell him," Kisame offered, but Itachi shook his head.

"Group leader, remember?" the black-haired teen said tiredly. Walking to the outer door, Itachi pulled out his cell phone. He opened the door and stepped outside on the second ring. When a muffled murmur answered the phone, Itachi shut the door behind him and looked up at the sky. "Dei, it's Itachi."

" _Itachi?_ " Deidara mumbled, and there was a moment in which Itachi could hear the crackle of noise over the phone as Deidara rolled over onto his back. " _What is it? Aren't you..._ " A pause. " _In metal right now?_ "

Itachi got straight to the point. "Someone got to our blueprints." He thunked the back of his head against the door behind him and consciously unclenched his jaw. "Do you have copies?"

There was a beat of silence and then a pained groan. When Deidara spoke, his voice sounded watery. " _Are you_ _ **serious**_ _? No, I don't have copies. Not of all of it. I mean, some, most, but not all. And none of it has any of the most recent adjustments!_ " He paused and groaned again, and there was the sound of a loud crash before the phone was muffled. " _NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Get out of my room!_ "

Itachi waited until the phone was quiet again before speaking. "Either Kisame or I will come over and see what we can use." He shook his head. "No, both of us will come over. I'll tell you more then."

Deidara sighed. " _Fine, fine. I'll see you after school. If you come sooner, I'll blow you both up_ ," Deidara threatened half-heartedly. " _I feel like shit right now and kaasan won't quit bugging me._ "

The other teen snorted. "She feeding you all that health crap?"

" _Yeah. Bring me something spicy would ya? I don't even care what, but if I have to eat one more cardboard-tasting thing, I'll kill her._ "

Turning back to the door, Itachi said. "Yeah, sure. Are you up for a full meal or just something small?" Walking back into the classroom, he caught Kisame's eye and nodded.

" _Small_ ," Deidara said. " _Anyway, I'm tired, so I'll talk to you guys later_." And without waiting for Itachi's reply, he hung up.

Slipping his phone back into his pants pocket, the group leader made his way back to the table as Sasori walked in through the door. "Dei has parts. It's old though." He sat down and glared at the blueprint.

"We're not going now?" Kisame's eyebrows were up.

Itachi snorted. "I like my eyebrows."

xXx

Blue eyes were trained on the television screen, muscles tensed and the tip of a pink tongue poking out of the blond's mouth. Beside him, looking equally tense, was Sasuke, and behind them sat Sakura. She had agreed to come over to Naruto's house for video games today, especially since Itachi and Kisame had a class-related dealing with Deidara after school.

So far, in their involved game of Tekken 3, Sasuke was—as usual—kicking Naruto's ass. And when the television flashed 'KO'd!' about Naruto's skimpy-clothed girl, the blond jumped to his feet angrily. "OI! CHEATER!" he yelled at Sasuke.

A pillow sailed in a graceful arc, landing with a solid thump on the side of Naruto's head. "He is not cheating," Sakura said frowning. "You say that every time!"

"Whaaaat!? But Sakura-chan!" wailed the blond.

There was the soft thudding then of someone coming up the stairs from the basement. The door opened and Jiraiya stuck his head into the room, scowling. "Can you keep it down, Naruto?" he demanded irritably. "I can't focus on this while you're—OH! Sakura-chan! I didn't know you were visiting us!" he said, perking up and stepping into the room. "Naruto, old pal..." He grabbed Naruto around the head and gave him a noogie. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"'Cause I knew you'd be all perverted and gross," Naruto retorted.

Behind them, Sakura and Sasuke shared a look, and Sakura moved up to sit next to her black-haired friend. With Jiraya, it was just safer to have another set of hands to fend him off. Preferably male.

"Well then!" Jiraiya pinched Naruto's ear and pulled it, making the blond wince. "I should get you guys some snacks!" He grinned and left for the kitchen.

Naruto rubbed his ear and sat down on Sakura's other side, scowling. "Ero Sennin," he grumbled.

"At least he doesn't drug the food," Sakura said. Thinking of how Tsunade once slipped something into Jiraya's drink to 'calm' him down. The old man had passed out in one of those horribly uncomfortable chairs. That was at some PA function or something similar.

Naruto snorted. "One of these days, he probably will," he groused.

"Remember those brownies?" Sasuke asked from his slump against the couch cushions.

Sakura blinked. "And the funny iced tea."

Naruto paused, recalling both incidents. "Ooh, you're right. Also, there was that spaghetti that looked like he'd put powdered sugar in it."

There was a beat of silence. And all three said as one, "The ice cream."

All three of them glanced toward the kitchen and then shared a look. And then, very quietly, they snuck out of the house.

xXx

Early next morning, before the halls were a loud crazy flow of students, Konoha High was actually almost Zen like.

Whistling softly, Genma made his way towards his office. Nodding a few times to the various staff he came across, even poking his head around a corner and winking at a pretty lady teacher, the teacher strolled down the hallways.

When Genma came up to his study, he noticed the light was already on and the door was open. Curious and a little alarmed, Genma knocked on his own door frame before walking in.

The figure in front of a small TV, looked up and he blinked. "Yoko-san?"

Kyuubi sighed, the sound relieved. "I thought you might be the student coming back," he drawled. "I've made it to the beginning of third period, on the tapes," he said, motioning toward the paused video.

Genma blinked. "When did you get here?" He glanced at the clock and the tape. "You didn't have to do this." Granted, he was supposed to be a shining example of responsibility to the younger aid, but that didn't mean saddling the kid with several hours of black and white table top staring.

Kyuubi shrugged. "I wanted to. It bothered me," he said boredly. "Besides, it hasn't been that long, really."

"Alright," Genma sat at his computer and flicked on the monitor. Looking over his shoulder, he asked, "No luck yet?"

Kyuubi shook his head. "No, like I said, I'm only on period three." He pressed play and went back to it. Period three was actually Genma's break period. There Genma went out the door to get his early lunch... there was about ten minutes of silence, and the door opened again. Kyuubi glanced at the time listed, then up at the picture, expecting to see Genma returning. He stiffened. "Shiranui-sensei, you should take a look at this," he said.

The other teacher turned in his chair so fast, he nearly tipped over. Genma watched over Yoko-san's shoulder as on the screen a slight figure made its way across the classroom. "That's not one of mine," Genma said confidently. "I'd recognize that walk."

Kyuubi shook his head. "I don't know him either, but I think I remember him getting beat up at that assembly a while back..." he said thoughtfully. "By Sasori, actually. Which might explain why he did this." Even as they watched, the kid was rifling through the student possessions and pulled out the blueprints in question. He grinned and pulled a red pen out of his pocket. Kyuubi sighed and paused it.

Shaking his head, Genma sat back down. "I'm tempted to take a screenshot and just give the picture to Itachi." He sighed. "Thank you, Yoko-san. This was a lot of help."

Kyuubi nodded. "Any time, sensei," he replied calmly.

xXx

The beginning of first period Biology was a bit... louder than most classes (except, of course, first period Chemistry, where Naruto usually attended). This was because of one Rock Lee. He swooped into the classroom every morning with an exuberant yell and grabbed his best female friend in a hug, twirling her around.

"Good morning, Tenten-chan!" he cried eagerly. "Oh how lovely it is to see your face so early in the day!" This was, word for word, his greeting every morning.

To which Tenten would laugh, pat him on the head and tell him, "Put me down, Lee."

Once he did so, the class would begin. The teachers learned early on that to begin lessons before Lee showed up, would result in a rather loud interruption as the bowl-cut boy would invariably announce his arrival. Thankfully, the boy was unfailingly on time.

Not to mention, he never seemed to take a day off due to sickness. The teachers were also forced to make allowances for the times that, during specific classes, when there was assigned groups, Lee would inevitably get into some sort of 'Youthful disagreement' with his sometimes friend sometimes rival Zetsu. The two never seemed to agree on anything but disagreeing, and being on time.

Ten minutes into first period, this happened. Loudly.

"What! No! That is unyouthful! Why would you want to do such a thing to him!" cried Lee, overhearing Zetsu and Pein discussing 'punishment' for some transgression done to their mutual friend Sasori.

Both the other teens swung their gazes towards Lee. "Him?" Zetsu asked as Pein just raised his eyebrows. They didn't know if their target was a boy or a girl.

Lee's mouth clamped shut and he managed a blush. He may or may not have over heard the teachers talking in the lounge that morning after his pre-school spar with Gai-sensei.

Zetsu stood up and raised his hand. "Sensei! Washroom."

When the teacher looked up, Zetsu had already walked out with Pein... and Lee sandwiched between them.

They reached the washroom with the struggling Lee (well, he wasn't struggling too much, as he saw them as his friends and didn't want to hurt them). Finally inside, once he was released, he stumbled away and spun to face them. "Um? Huh?"

"You said 'him,' " Pein stated as Zetsu turned to lock the door. "What do you know?"

"N-not much! I didn't... well... I was sparring with Gai-sensei before school..." Lee coughed. "And we went to the lounge to get sodas from the teacher's lounge. Usually, it isn't a problem 'cause there's no one in there. But I had to wait outside 'cause of some teacher's meeting. And they were discussing someone who had vandalized someone else's stuff..." He shifted under their combined gazes. "But I never heard a name, just 'him' and stuff."

Zetsu snorted. "That's it?" When Lee nodded, he flipped the lock and scowled. "Go back to class."

Lee offered them a smile and dashed off quickly, his speed belaying his size.

The tall teen turned around to see Pein frowning at him.

"You don't think he's lying?"

Rolling his eyes, Zetsu shook his head. "It would be unyouthful."

xXx

Across the empty parking lot Kankuro could see four pigtails bouncing. Actually to be more precise, the body they were attached to was bouncing. Up and down. And he was getting more nervous the closer they came.

Temari had many moods, most girls did, but when she did happy, chipper,  _bouncy_ , it was usually a good idea to run for the dunes.

But she had the keys. Goddammit.

Groaning, he scruffed a hand through coarse brown hair and glared at his sister as she bounded up to him, all smiles and happy humming.

"What's up with you?" And the way she grinned made him wish he had kept his big fat mouth shut.

"Transfer student!" she squealed. "To be precise, Haruno Sakura. You know, Itachi's girlfriend? Ooohh, god, this is sooo awesome!" She actually giggled eagerly.

Kankuro frowned. "Pinky? With the perky nips from the beach?" He moved around to the driver's side. "Give me the keys. No way you're driving like that."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, Pinky. Don't let Itachi hear you call her that, though. I hear he tends to be kind of protective. I don't know how he'd react to something like that, but he's a hot-blooded male, so err on the side of caution." She fished the keys out of her purse and unlocked the passenger's side door, then tossed them over the car to him. "We should hurry. It's looking like a sandstorm."

"Maybe the teachers shouldn't keep students so late if the weatherman's been screaming about gusts all afternoon," Kank groused as he slid into the car. He plugged in the keys and hit the fans, rolling down the windows at the same time. "Fuuck, we need a new car or at least a new grill. This one is about dead."

"It needs a cleaning," she replied, shrugging. "Maybe Gaara'll do it? By the way, where is he? I haven't seen him since yesterday."

He barked out a laugh. "Gaara? Clean a car? If it doesn't have anything to do with his precious fish tank, good luck!" Kankuro guided the car out of the lot and gunned it for the highway. "Eh, he's probably off somewhere. You know he wants a snake now right?"

She gave him an irritable look. "Are you serious? God, him and his animals. Doesn't he already have a tarantula, too?"

"At least he let go of the raccoon. Even though it was a cute scrapper." Kankuro tilted his head. "Actually, I think the raccoon went after the spider, that's why he tossed it out."

She snorted. "Gods, just get me home before I want to go string him up by his big toes."

Grinning, Kankuro rolled up the windows as the wind kicked up. "If he still has both of them. The chameleon might have them now."

Temari actually laughed out loud at that. "Oh, he'd be pissed! It's so funny when he's pissed. Those tantrums of his... Ahahaha! But I can see why the other kids at the school are so afraid of him." But Gaara would never hurt her or Kankuro, so she wasn't worried about that.

Humming, Kankuro agreed, "Yeah, our lil bro might be hanging out with the paws and claws too much. He actually growls when he fights." He also grew his nails long and wore a dog collar, and it didn't help that Kankuro himself had taught Gaara how to use those nails in a fight. But, fair fights didn't happen in their area and his little redhead bro was a prime target because of his small size.

She sighed. "He needs to chill out, though. And stop wearing the collar. He's not a dog." She pouted.

"Nah, I think he looks great with that thing!" That thing had inch-long sharp spikes, which when taken off and wound around the knuckles had proven to scare off some big bullies. Considering where Gaara was at that time, Kankuro was just glad that his brother had come home that night.

Temari gave her brother a disapproving look, but sighed. "Oh whatever."

Triumphant, he flashed a grin at her. "So! Any idea why Pinky is moving so very very far away from her beau? Into this lovely paradise?" He turned off the air intake as the storm rolled in.

xXx

Three hours after school was out, Suigetsu slunk out of the principal's office. Damn stupid security camera. He thought the black dome was just a front. But no, they had called him in, sat him down in a chair, showed him the goddamn tape and then watched  _him_  squirm.

He should have turned off the lights when he had gone into that room. But he wasn't familiar with the layout and the papers would have been hard to see. Shit, he should have just torched the whole lot.

The growling boy stalked through the outer doors and glared at the concrete. He should have worn a hoodie or a mask. Something. Even though the feed was grainy and black and white, it had been obvious it had been him. Fuck... and he should have...

Footsteps on either side of him made his head snap up. Suigetsu had time enough to squeak as a gag was shoved into his mouth and a black bag came down on his head.

He should have looked where he was going.

A furious voice hissed into his ear. "Now that the teachers are done with you," a large hand came down to grip him around the base of the neck, "you get to play with  _us_."

xXx

It was her last day in Konoha, a Saturday, and she had been told to meet Itachi and the others at Deidara's place. Something about hanging out somewhere that they wouldn't be killed for making too much noise in. It made sense, since Deidara's parents owned an acre of land and their own house.

So Sakura arrived via taxi at the tall, white-painted, two-story house at around five in the evening and sighed as she looked up at the place. Wow. This was nice. Shaking her head, she went up to the front door and knocked.

The broad white door swung open and she was greeted by a grinning blue shark face. "Sakura-san! Glad you could make it!"

"Kisame-kun," she said a little overwhelmed by the enthusiastic greeting. She paused and giggled as Kisame was shoved aside by a rather pleased looking Deidara.

"Go downstairs! They need help with—" the blond cut his eyes at Sakura "—the extra preparations."

With an evil cackle, Kisame waved and disappeared into the house. Deidara finally turned to Sakura.

Sakura's brows lifted, but she smiled at the blond. "What are you guys  _up_  to?" she asked in mock suspicion, stepping inside when he moved out-of-the-way.

"Huh! We're putting together the perfect party for you! That's what we're doing." Deidara nodded firmly. "With fireworks of course."

He led her though the house and to a plain door, which he opened for her. When she looked down, she found Itachi looking up at her from halfway up the stairs.

Sakura smiled at her boyfriend and stepped back as he finished the trip up. "Hey, Itachi," she said. "A surprise party, huh? That's sweet of you guys."

The black-eyed teen stilled, and then turned his head, giving the blond a flat stare. The artist grinned and stage whispered, "Oops!" before whisking down the stairs.

Sighing, Itachi shook his head. "It  _was_  going to be a surprise."

She grinned at him and gave him a peck on the lips. "You honestly expected him to be able to keep it to himself?" she asked. "With  _fireworks_  involved?"

The teen reached behind him and closed the basement door, then pulled a laughing pink-haired girl against his chest and kissed her thoroughly.

When they finally broke for air, Itachi was leaning up against the door smirking. "Fireworks aren't the only entertainment tonight. We figured you needed some stress relief." His eyes took on a wicked gleam. "Physical stress relief."

She tilted her head, brows lifting. "Really now. And what does  _that_  mean?" she asked, mock stern.

"Mmmm, something like this," Itachi murmured, claiming her mouth and completely messing up her hair.

Banging on the door behind them made Sakura laugh. He pulled away to bang at the door in retaliation.

"Hey!" Kisame yelled from the other side. "Some of us actually want to talk to her too!"

Sakura laughed a little more at that. "Oh, let them come up," she chided her boyfriend, satisfied when he reluctantly complied. When the door swung open, she smiled at the three faces grinning at her.

"Kakuzu's still downstairs, but we probably couldn't pry him up with a hundred-dollar bill, un," Deidara claimed, smirking.

Blue boy took a step up, catching Itachi's eye and quirking an eyebrow at Sakura. Strangely enough, Itachi grinned.

The other boy laughed and bowed before Sakura. "Since Kakuzu won't come up," he lifted his head, smirking at Sakura. "We have no choice."

Sakura blinked at him.

He swooped forward out of his bow, caught her around the waist, and hoisted her up onto his shoulder.

"We'll have to take you downstairs!"

She made a sound that was half yelp half laugh and latched onto his shoulder. "Aach! Careful!" she said, but was grinning.

Deidara cackled along with Hidan, who added, "Don't bash her damn head in, dick, or Itachi might bite you!" He grinned and dashed down the stairs before Itachi could hurt  _him_.

The whole group of them tromped down, Itachi keeping an eye on Sakura's head as they passed under beams.

When Sharky made it to the bottom, he rapped on the door to the right, which swung open to reveal a surprisingly mellow Kakuzu. "Aah," was all he said and held the door open for them, then let it swing shut on Deidara's face.

"OI!" the blond shouted, opening it again and stomping in to scowl at Kakuzu. "Jackass!"

Hidan cackled and kicked half-heartedly at his best friend. "Yeah, he's right, you are a jackass."

Sakura grinned at the semi-familiar interaction before noticing a very  _big_  piñata. "What is  _that_?"

Kakuzu sat down on a couch next to the colourful floufy thing and patted it. "A piñata, Sakura."

Itachi chuckled, drawing her attention. "Stress relief."

Kisame burst out laughing. "Karma," he stated, smirking as he put the girl down on her feet and being very careful where he put his hands.

" _Karma_?" she asked doubtfully, frowning at them. "I don't think I want to know."

Hidan snickered and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Then we won't… fucking… tell you." He grinned evilly.

There was a loud smack as Kisame whacked the albino up the back of the head. "Shut up and play."

Turning her head, Sakura watched as Hidan yelled and followed Kisame over to a— _Whoa_. Whipping her head back around, she raised both eyebrows at Deidara. "Is that yours?" She pointed at the pool table.

Across the room, Kakuzu blinked and looked interested.

Deidara nodded. "Yep. I got it... uh... a few years ago, actually. Sasori and I actually hung out quite a bit back when I was like twelve. He came over a lot, so we played pool, un," he explained, beaming.

"Oi! Stop fucking gossiping and get your asses over here already!" Hidan complained. "I want to kick your asses, since I totally fucking  _rule_  at this game!" He scowled at Kisame when the shark-boy snorted.

Itachi strode over to the table and claimed a cue. "Two teams, then?" He flickered a gaze back to Sakura then to Kakuzu. "Are you two playing?"

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, sure!" she said. "But I've not played in a while, so don't be surprised if I suck."

Hidan smirked. "Everyone sucks compared to me," he boasted. "Sucks  _dick_."

Deidara scowled at him, but then smirked when Kakuzu almost gently smacked Hidan with his own cue. "Ass."

"Cunt," Kakuzu retorted. "I'm playing."

Smirking across the table at the albino, Itachi raised an eyebrow. "So, if everyone sucks, does that mean you're on a team of your own Hidan?" His grin widened. "You're not making allies."

"Shut the fuck up," Hidan retorted. "Kakuzu's on my team, dick. I don't need anyone else."

Kakuzu snorted, but shrugged. "Whatever."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Wow, Hidan. Your mouth just makes me want to eat soap."

Hidan flipped her off, but smirked. "I hear Dei's parents buy the scented shit. I wonder if they're fucking flavored too?"

"Herbal," Dei corrected as he picked up a cue to hand over to Sakura.

Picking up a chalk cube, Kisame snickered. "Don't you remember biting one on a dare?"

Itachi chuckled as he arranged the balls in the triangle. "Kakuzu actually laughed that time."

Hidan scowled at them. "Fuck you all and go to hell." He cupped his privates through his pants. "Suck it."

"Ew, pass," Sakura said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Kisame threw the chalk at him. "Play already."

An hour later, Kisame groaned and Itachi rubbed his eyes.

Sakura looked at Dei and muttered, "Sorry."

Dei waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, un." He made a face. "Hidan is actually good."

Kisame let out a low growl and threw himself into the couch. "Damn!"

Hidan grinned pompously. "Ohhh, fuck yeah. I fucking rock at this shit! Kakuzu never fucking plays me for money."

Kakuzu snorted. "I'm not an idiot," he replied.

Deidara shook his head. "Man, I'm hungry!" he said, and grabbed a bag of popcorn (prepackaged shit) from the snack table. "Hey, Itachi, you brought those CDs right?"

"Green bag, under the coffee table," Itachi replied, snaking an arm around Sakura's waist.

"I'm taking a piss." Kisame lurched up from his seat and ambled out of the room.

The girl in his arms giggled softly and turned to look up at him. She smiled. "I'm going to miss this," she admitted.

Itachi swallowed and tightened his arms. "Shh."

"Hey!" Kisame's voice boomed through the basement. "Dei! Get your explosives off the fuckin' toilet!"

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're saying goodbye, but only until we meet again.


	21. Enter Sandman!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Gaara, this is Sakura. Be nice to her. Cuz she's going to be nice to you. Nice, you hear me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The move to Suna has been done. Welcome to the Suna arc!

The weather was hot, sweltering, in the desert town of Suna, and this was no exception at the Sunagakure high school. Thankfully, the school was air-conditioned as a rule, so once Sakura stepped inside, she didn't feel like she was going to die of a heat-stroke. She went to the office and then sat around for nearly half an hour before the principal arrived at the school, and then waited another fifteen minutes before she was allowed inside  _his_  office.

The principal was about her mom's age, mid-forties at most, and his hair was a dark, almost dried-blood red. His eyes weren't very expressive, but were hard. He wasn't the kind sort like Sarutobi-sensei had been. He was a stern-looking man, and probably had his share of rough-handling of the students.

When she walked into the room, he didn't offer her a seat. "Haruno Sakura-san?" he asked gruffly, frowning at her like he expected her to be another trouble-maker.

Refusing to hesitate, Sakura quickly bowed respectfully. "Yes."

He eyed her and scooted his rolling chair back to pull a drawer of his desk open. He rifled through the folders before pulling one out, going through it and then pulling a packet out. He set that on the desk, went back to the folder and pulled out a sheet. After he'd put the folder away, he picked up both and held them out. "New student guide and your schedule. I will have one of the students show you around today. Tomorrow, you're on your own, so pay attention. I do not tolerate tardiness in my school, or skipping. There is to be no drug usage, violence or profanity, am I understood?" he asked, ignoring a knock on the door.

"Yes sir," she replied, taking the papers from him and holding them tight by her side. Drugs? He had to tell new students not to use drugs? In high school?

He frowned at her for a beat before looking at the door. "Enter."

A familiar blonde stepped inside, offering him a bright smile. "Hi dad!"

"Sabaku-sensei," he corrected, scowling. When she merely continued to beam at him, he scoffed. "Haruno Sakura-san, this is Sabaku Temari. She is to be your student guide for the day. She will not be assisting you tomorrow," he said, repeating it like he expected the pink-haired girl to have forgotten it. He scowled at them for a beat. "Dismissed."

Temari dragged Sakura from the room, shutting the door behind her. "He's grumpy that he lost poker to Kankuro last night," she confided with a grin.

"No loitering in the hallways!" Came a gruff shout from other side of the door. "I can still see you through the window!"

Temari scoffed. "Ten minutes till  _class_ , daddy!" she retorted, but locked arms with Sakura and started off anyway.

The younger girl turned wide eyes to the blonde. "He's your dad?" Her eyes travelled up Temari's arm to the fishnet shirt and the loose tanktop. "How do you survive?!"

Temari snorted. "Two words, well, three if you count the 'and'. Gaara and Kankuro." She grinned. "Besides, dad's a total softy, even if he won't admit it. Something about an image." She waved a dismissive hand, smirking. "Anyway, we don't have a study period in this school like Konoha does." She snatched Sakura's schedule, then verbally paused. "Oh, do you remember me? We met in the cafe I work in?"

Sakura snorted. "And you're the one that made Hidan look like a fish out of water. Of course I remember you!"

"Oh, yeah, that..." Temari murmured, trailing off. "I forgot about that." She grinned and eyed the schedule. "Oooh, tough luck, sugar. I had hoped you wouldn't have  _any_  classes with those two trouble makers..."

"Are they worse than Sasori and Hidan?" Sakura winced. Sasori she may be able to deal with, Hidan, however, blood would fly.

"Well, I don't really know Sasori all that well," Temari admitted. "But they're about as perverted as Hidan. They like flipping up girls' skirts, so I suggest you never wear one unless you have shorts on underneath." She wrinkled her nose. "Also, don't be surprised if they feel you up. Butt and boobs. Sakon's a boob guy, Ukon fancies the rear end." She rolled her eyes. "Kankuro likes using them as target practice."

Sakura paled for a moment, then sighed. "Sakon and Ukon. Alright - what periods and what classes?" She squared her shoulders. "May as well know when to bring out my punching gloves."

"Chemistry, English and lunch," Temari listed off. "You just have Sakon in Chemistry, but you've got both in the others." She eyed the schedule, and pouted. "We haven't any classes together, though! Man, that sucks!" She sighed, and then grinned. "How _ever_... you've got lunch, Geometry and gym with my cute baby bro!" she gushed. "Aww. Beware, though. If you want to make  _any_  friends outside of us siblings, you'll steer clear of him."

At first Sakura blinked, then she laughed. "That sounds like a challenge," she giggled. Poking Temari in the shoulder, she grinned up at the taller girl. "If I like him, I'll hang out with him. I don't care if other so-called friends judge me by that. I mean, Temari, I'm dating  _Uchiha Itachi_."

Temari laughed. "Oh, I know, sweety. I'm just saying that most of the school is afraid of him, is all. He goes all spastic when he gets pissed, and he's been known to hurt people." She shrugged. "Usually he's got this dead fish-" she giggled at her inside joke, "-look on his face, though. If you _want_  to be friends with him, I encourage it. He's my baby bro after all."

"Oi! Temari!" a voice shouted from down the hall. When they looked up, they spotted Kankuro approaching as the halls started to get louder with the fill of students. He waved and stopped before them, grinning at Sakura. "Hey, Pinky. Long time no see!"

Beside her, Temari rolled her eyes and smacked him in the arm. Sakura just laughed. "Hello?"

"I was at the beach party," he said, smirking. He turned around as if to say something to someone, then turned back scowling. "Goddammit, he vanished! I was gonna introduce you to Gaara, but he did the ninja thing and slinked off. Probably went to some dark, dank corner to play with his..." He paused suggestively. "... spider."

Temari choked, trying not to laugh too hard. "Oh, he's going to stab you!" she laughed, smacking him again.

"Ha! He can try," he retorted, but grinned. "You escorting this lovely lady today?"

Temari nodded. "Yup! And on  _that_  note, I must show her to the Chemistry room now, so ta-ta." She waved him off and dragged Sakura with her.

Kankuro offered a wolf whistle in parting before going his own way, and she rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him. He's harmless. Mostly."

"He brings a spider to school?" At her guide's blank look, Sakura rephrased. "Gaara has a spider?"

"Oh!" Temari said, and smiled. "Yeah. He has one, but I don't think he brings it to school. Kankuro was just trying to spook you. He's a jerk like that." They turned down the maths and sciences hall.

"What does Gaara look like?" Sakura looked at the classes as they walked. "like you, Kankuro or your dad?"

"Yeah, a little bit like dad and Kank. His hair's lighter than dad's, but it's red, and he's got a tattoo on his forehead." She tapped the spot on her own. "'Ai', it says. Kanji. He's really little, actually. Much smaller than Dad and Kankuro. Um... and his eyes are really light green, like Mom's were."

The smaller girl with green eyes blinked. "How did he get a tattoo?"

Temari snorted. "He ran away when he was little, and came back with it. We don't know where he got it, and he won't tell us." She shrugged and stopped before a classroom with the label 'Chemistry, Baki Tsunato'. "Here we are! I have to get to my next class, but I'll be back here when you get out of Chemistry. Baki seems pretty scary, but if you do your work and don't act up, he's nice." She smiled. "Any questions about the school before I go?"

"Where's the nearest washroom?"

xXx

Halfway through class, Sakura was suddenly very happy she had turned her phone silent. Even so, the buzzing in her bag was rather obvious.

"Sorry!" she whispered, and reached for the phone. By the time she reached it, it had of course stopped vibrating. A text then.

Sakura waited a few minutes for the rest of the class, and the teacher, to look elsewhere before slipping out the phone. Thumbing a button a text from Sasuke popped up.

_Itachi is being a fucking BITCH. You haven't even been gone 12 hours!_

Hm, someone was grumpy. Sakura tried to keep the grin off her face and put away the phone. She would deal with ruffled feathers later.

xXx

Before she knew it, half the school day had passed Sakura by, lunch had gone and she found herself parting ways with Temari at her Geometry class. She stepped inside, the last person to do so, just as the bell rang, and smiled sheepishly at the glances from almost the whole class.

The teacher smiled at her and promptly had her stand at the front and introduce herself, give her age, grade and one fact about herself. So, she waved at the class. "Hi... I'm Haruno Sakura, I'm sixteen and in tenth grade... Uh... and a fact...?" She glanced around the classroom and was  _almost_ surprised to find a bored green-eyed gaze on her. She smiled back at the tattoo'd boy. "A fact... Well, I'm... Oh! I live with just my mother," she said, and mentally patted herself on the back. She bowed. "Please treat me well!"

The teacher beamed and ushered her off to an empty seat, had someone fetch her a spare book, and started the day's lesson.

xXx

When the bell rang for the end of class, Sakura looked around for the reclusive redhead. He may have been fast, but she had been dating Itachi for months. Sakura stuck her tongue out at the back of his head as he slipped out the rear door.

When she turned back to her bag, Temari was just coming in through the front door with a wry look on her face.

As the blonde made her way over to her, Sakura packed her bag and stood up. "Your brother is very fast," Sakura remarked.

"Tch, yeah, that's Gaara. I saw him making a beeline down the hall as I got here." Temari shook her head. "But, we'll have another chance in gym to get you two introduced if we move fast enough!"

Shaking her head, Sakura grinned. "Let's go then."

The two girls laughed and pushed their way through the throngs of the hallways to the gym.

Temari peered in as Sakura got changed and spotted the little brother in the far corner. She tapped a finger by her eye and pointed at him.

He turned his head and pretended not to notice.

"Gaara..." she growled in frustration. For some reason he looked over and a corner of his mouth kicked up. Then he went back to studying the other wall. Temari nearly threw something at him. He wasn't the only violent one in this family!

"Temari?"

"Yeep!" She turned and glared at Sakura. "Don't do that!"

The pink-haired girl was obviously trying not to laugh. "I'm sorry! But you're standing in the middle of the doorway."

Temari huffed. "Well, we're not going to get introduction done in front of the girls changeroom, so..." She grasped hold of Sakura's hand and dragged her out towards Gaara.

Gaara must have noticed them approaching because, even though he didn't turn his head to look at them, he was scowling when they finally stopped beside him. He sighed and turned his head, not dropping the scowl. "What."

"Er, hi," Sakura smiled.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Gaara, this is Sakura. Be  **nice** to her. Cuz she's going to be nice to you. Nice, you hear me?"

"Temari!" Sakura laughed. "He doesn't have to be nice!"

His sister ha ha'd right along with Sakura, but when she left, she turned at the door and levelled her best foreboding glare on him.  _NICE_ , it seemed to demand.

Gaara sneered back at her, watched her stick out her tongue and then leave. He then proceeded to  _completely_  ignore Sakura. At that moment, a whistle shrilled, demanding the attention of the twenty or so students settling around the room.

"Welcome to class, students!" the teacher said calmly. "As you all know, today is the day we do our survival test." He glared at a couple of students that groaned. "But first of all, I believe we have a new student? Haruno, where are you?" he asked, gaze roving the room.

Standing up, Sakura called out, "Here!" and sighed as a full classroom of students  _again_ swung their eyes to her. She was getting a little tired of it.

The man nodded. "I am Yamato-taicho, it's a pleasure to meet you, Haruno Sakura-san. Guys, treat her well, not like you'd treat a goat at the petting zoo." There was a scattering of snickers. Yamato glowered at the culprits creepily. They subsided. "Alright, Kimimaro, would you mind explaining things to Miss Haruno while I assign groups?" he asked a white-haired boy standing not far away from Sakura.

"Sure Yamato-taicho," the boy replied softly and walked towards Sakura. He gave Gaara a quick glance that went largely ignored. "Hello Haruno-san, my name is Kaguya Kimimaro. Please call me Kimimaro."

"Call me Sakura, Kimimaro," she replied smiling. Her eyes drifted to the various students that were grumbling. "Survival test?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes," the platinum blonde boy gestured to the window. "We'll be going outside in groups of three. Not for long and not very far for obvious reasons. We will be given a list of objectives, and when the test is over, we will tell Yamato-taicho what we did to achieve those objectives, if we did achieve them."

"Participation is  _mandatory_ ," Gaara said softly, scowling. He was obviously not very pleased with this. "It's a fifth of your grade."

Sakura bit her lip. "Will it be hard? I mean, I just got here and I wouldn't know what to do..."

Kimimaro shook his head. "You will most likely be partnered with me. As long as you follow instructions, you'll be fine."

"Isn't there going to be a third person?"

And as if on cue... "Gaara, Kimimaro, Haruno-san," the coach said as he passed by them. "You three are a group." And he went on.

Gaara sneered at his back, looking irritated. But he could have done worse. At least Kimimaro tried not to piss him off. And the girl... well, he'd see. "Don't get in my way," he said to Sakura, scowling at her.

"Don't go off on your own," Kimimaro's voice cooly rebuked him.

Sakura looked between the two of them helplessly. Oh dear.

"I know the rules," Gaara muttered, his voice as soft and deep as before. He didn't seem to have a higher volume, actually.

Kimimaro nodded, satisfied. "Then we will pass with no problem." He took out a paper and unfolded it, showing it to the other two in the group. "These are our objectives."

"Water, shade, food?" Sakura read off the list. She looked out the window. "We aren't taking water with us?" It was still scorching out there!

"Of course we are taking water," the blond said. "He wants us to  _find_  water."

Gaara smirked at her. "Too hard for you?" he asked tauntingly. "I'm sure if you asked, he might let you stay here." But he doubted it.

But the girl shook her head. "I wouldn't learn anything then. Besides, I have you two to teach me what to look for right?"  _Not lead me, not give me,_ _ **teach**_ _me._  Sakura smiled at him.

Beside them, Kimimaro lifted a brow and watched Gaara's expressions shift.

His expression went from hostile to thoughtful, then he huffed. "Whatever."

Sakura kept her smile and felt it turn just a tad more truthful. Honestly, Gaara's reactions to her were better than how Sasuke had treated her the first time they had spoken. Or rather, she had talked to Sasuke. Sakura inwardly winced. Gushed at, would be the more accurate term.

Kimimaro wasn't anything like Naruto, but he was supportive. And apparently wasn't going to treat Gaara like a live grenade. Definitely good points.

The taller teen in question blinked as the new girl's smile turned up a few watts. That was interesting. Usually students wilted around Gaara. An eyebrow raised and he looked at the redhead.

Gaara was back to scowling at her, also having noticed this. "Can we get this over with?" he growled, even as the teacher walked toward the front of the room.

"I suppose you guys are anxious to get going and get finished, so I won't hold you back any longer," Yamato announced. "You have your objectives, you know how to navigate, you know how to walk on the sand. Kimimaro, please help Haruno-san with those." He nodded toward the boy, then walked to the doors that opened up on the surrounding desert. "Go."

Kimimaro turned to Sakura and motioned to the stand of water bottles by the entrance. "If you would, Sakura, pick up six bottles. Meet us at the door."

She nodded silently, already a little intimidated by the heat that rolled in. As she left, he turned to Gaara.

"I believe that we should head east towards the caves. What do you think we should do?" He had heard that Gaara could and had left the school complex in the middle of the day before. Of all of them, he probably knew where to find everything on the list. Possibly within ten minutes of each other.

Gaara shrugged. "We could skip the caves. There's a miniature oasis to the west, with a ground cave beneath it." He gestured in the opposite direction from which everyone else would be heading. "Besides, the caves will be crowded and useless as shelter. They aren't very big or deep, and will be full with the other students. No one knows about the oasis or the ground cave beneath it, besides my brother and I. It'll be isolated and  _quiet_." Unless Pinky decided to make a lot of noise.

As if reading his mind, Kimimaro smiled slightly. He murmured, "Quiet would be nice."

The two boys were sharing a look as Sakura walked up, lugging a set of water bottles. She blinked.  _I think they are having a moment._  She barely stopped herself from grinning.  _We'll be just fine_ , she thought. And that moment, dropped a water bottle on her foot.

"Ouch!"

Gaara scowled at her and picked it up, snatching another from her. "Clumsy," he accused disdainfully and stalked toward the entrance. It was clear he was expecting them to follow when he stopped by the door and glowered back at them. Most of the other students had already cleared out.

Ducking her head, Sakura threw an apologetic look at Kimimaro. "Oops?"

He only smiled softly and shook his head. "Let's go." As they hurried over to Gaara, Kimimaro leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Don't drop the water bottles out there, please."

She turned to glower at him, but found him grinning at her. Sakura couldn't help but laugh. "Meanie," she said warmly and used her bottle to threaten him.

Gaara scoffed at the sight. "Can we go already? I want to  _get_  there and then relax the rest of the period," he snapped.

"Yes, yes," Kimimaro soothed. "Let's go."

Sakura only smiled and held out a third water bottle to Gaara. "You're the one with darker hair." she said teasingly.

He sneered. "Kimimaro carries his own bottles," he snapped, not getting what she was talking about. He turned on his heel and walked out across the sand, steps feather-light and perfectly balanced upon it's shifting surface.

The white-haired teen sighed as Sakura shrugged good naturally. She tucked the bottle in with her other two into her backpack. Kimimaro looked at her in confusion when she muttered, "At least he talks to me."

"Here," the boy caught her attention, "you want to step like this, see my heel? And the way that my toes land. You need to set your weight here and roll this way." He pointed down to his foot as he stepped onto the sand.

Sakura frowned and tried to mimic him. It took some practice, but she did get the hang of it. And she didn't drop any bottles. Hers or the spare meant for Gaara..

About ten minutes later (longer than it usually took Gaara because they were babysitting a clumsy outsider), they reached the oasis he'd mentioned and fulfilled their objectives for water, shelter, and food. There were a few fruit-bearing cacti in the oasis which Gaara quickly harvested. He noted that there were spaces on a couple of the plants from a prior working. He frowned. "Someone was already here," he said.

Soft footsteps heralded Kimimaro's approach, though the other boy stopped before crowding Gaara. "Perhaps your brother?"

Gaara thought about that. Well, Kankuro did have Gym earlier in the day. He shrugged. "It's possible. He would have left a sign of some sort," he said. "In case I came by. We usually do." He glanced over toward the hidden cave entrance, watching as Sakura ducked inside. "Hmph." He nodded for Kimimaro to get some water while he finished with the fruit.

To the side there was a small pool, fed by an underground spring that ran through part of the cave. In fact, the cave was probably the reason that the pool hadn't drained away ages ago.

Kimimaro slowly made his way inside, letting his eyes adjust to the dim lighting before going further. He saw Sakura easily, she had flopped down onto the soft sand and was rubbing her eyes.

"Sakura? Are you alright?"

Startled, the girl sat up and squinted at him. "Kimimaro? Yes, I'm okay. Just wishing I could actually see in here."

He hummed, "It will take a moment. Just be patient."

Sakura made a face. "I hate not being able to see." After a second or two, she started laughing.

"What is it?" Now he was wishing his vision would clear faster. "Sakura?"

"I don't think Gaara is going to like his brother."

"Oh?"

Gaara trailed in after them, scowling a little. In his hand, he had a flashlight (he was cheating, he knew, but Yamato would live). It was pointed at the wall. Written there in big, sprawled kanji was his brother's 'sign'.

' _Hey, ototo!_ ' it proclaimed in white. ' _This is a fond greeting from your loving siblings... and that fat guy Jugo. … ouch._ ' When they looked further, they saw that there was actually quite a bit of writing all over the walls. Some from Temari, some from Jugo, some from Kankuro. Their 'greeting' for Gaara had obviously gotten a little out of hand.

"I'll kill them all," the redhead growled irately. "Painfully. No one will ever find the bodies."

Over in a corner, Sakura was choking back laughter.  _BE NICE_ , ended Temari's note in very large letters complete with underlines. Multiple lines.

Kimimaro had reached out to touch a handful of notes that had been left in surprisingly neat lettering. "Apparently, your brother's group also stayed here to relax," he said amused.

"Apparently," Gaara growled, and sat down on a rock to sulk. He was going to murder them both! Glowering, he pulled his back pack off his shoulders and opened it, pulling out a clear plastic container. He held it up to his eye, tapping the side gently. Something inside the container moved toward his hand.

The soft humming from Kimimaro moved further to the back of the cave then came towards Gaara.

"Excuse me, but could I borrow your flashlight? Jugo's notes mention there being more writing at the back of the cave."

Gaara looked up at him, then held the flashlight up with his free hand. "Don't break it," he said.

The other boy nodded. "Of course not." He didn't even blink at the container, but calmly took the flashlight from Gaara. "Thank you." He moved back towards the walls, flicking on the light.

Beyond him, Sakura made a slight sound of surprise and started laughing. "Kankuro knows some funny jokes," she said appreciatively.

Kimimaro merely hummed in response and moved on, but tried to keep the light where Sakura was reading.

Gaara glanced over at the pink-haired girl, eyes narrowed. Finally, he smirked and got up, ninja'ing his way over to lean over her shoulder. " _Boo_ ," he whispered in her ear, making her jump.

"Gyaah!" She yelled, then turned. "What are you? FIVE?"

He smirked and crouched beside her. "You should pay more attention to your surroundings," he replied.

Her green eyes narrowed, then she smirked. With slow deliberate movements, she pointed at the wall where she had been reading. "So should you."

Gaara blinked and followed her finger, his eyes widening on the writing there. ' _... and you should have seen it when Gaara-_ ' He stopped reading and closed his eyes. "Definitely murdering him," he grumbled, sitting down where he was. "That idiot."

Looking back towards a concerned Kimimaro, Sakura waved and mouthed,  _'We're okay.'_  The older boy nodded and continued along the wall, taking the light with him.

The two younger ones sat in the shifting dark.

"It's not that bad," Sakura murmured, thinking of Sai. "At least your brother writes this where only trusted people are going to see." She frowned thinking of the postcard ads that Itachi had nearly killed Sai over.

"You're welcome to leave if it bothers you," Gaara replied irritably, going back to looking at whatever was in the container. If he could see it. … and it just moved.

In the dark, Sakura felt safe enough to roll her eyes. "Not a bother at all." She looked over at him.  _What?_  Kankuro's words from that morning came back to her. She blinked.  _But Temari had said..._

He must have felt her gaze because he looked up and scowled. "What? It's a spider. Got a problem with that?" he demanded, pulling it closer to his chest as if she'd try to hurt it.

She grinned. She couldn't help it. He was acting just like Naruto with his first toad. It was adorable. She shook her head, "Why is it toads and spiders with you guys? Why are they so interesting?"

"I don't like toads," he replied blankly. "Where did you get that?"

Sakura shrugged. "My best friend keeps toads. Small, big, smooth, bumpy, young, old. Any that he can find." She smiled softly. "Naruto's basement is like an underground sauna filled with glass cages." And he loved them all.

He blinked. "Naruto? You know Naruto?" he asked, perking eagerly. "That's the... wait, Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

It was Sakura's turn to blink. "Ye-es?" She frowned. "Okay, this is insane. He can't have pranked you all the way out here." She didn't think his reach went that far... did it?

Gaara shook his head. "No," he said, shifting in his seat. "No, I met his friend Hoshigaki-san, who works at a pet shop I frequent. Hoshigaki-san got his hands on some white sand for me and then told me that he got it from a boy named Uzumaki Naruto."

"Oh you can't be serious," Sakura's eyes closed. Kisame had kept that sand? She had heard of the prank of course. On the other hand, it seemed like it turned out to be a good deal for both Sharky and Gaara. So... not...a... bad thing?

She cradled her face in her hands and carefully let herself flop back onto the sand. "I think my brain just had a melt down."

He frowned. "Why?" he asked, confused. Was it something he said?

On the ground, Sakura gave a helpless giggle and tried to explain. "Months ago, my best friend, Naruto, along with his best friend, Sasuke, played a prank on Sasuke's older brother, Itachi. That white sand was involved." She trailed fingers through the sand beside her and continued. "Itachi's friend, Hoshigaki, kept the sand, and apparently gave it to you."

She sat up and grinned. "Since then, I've started to date Itachi, grew to know Hoshigaki, and am now talking with you. I can almost safely say that I am following the white sand."

"But that's not even the part that makes my head hurt." Sakura flopped back down to the sand. "It's the sheer fact that one of Naruto's pranks actually did something good for a change."

Gaara actually looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, I don't know if you're superstitious, but there are some legends that say that every action, negative or positive, has ripples. Sometimes these ripples are good, sometimes they're bad, sometimes both and sometimes neither." He tilted his head. "I happen to believe this, and the story you've told me is a good example of it.

"Your friend pranked your boyfriend  _now_ , whom wasn't your boyfriend then. Perhaps your meeting him even had something to do  _with_  that prank." He shrugged. "From there, the sand from the prank traveled through your friend Hoshigaki, to me, and you have met both. It's Fate."

"But, the sand has now stopped..." Sakura bolted upright and cast wide eyes at Gaara. "You haven't sent it on anywhere have you?"

He blinked, then scowled. "No. It's in my fishtank," he replied.

A relieved smile broke over Sakura's pale face and she sighed. "Thank God - I don't want to move anymore." That said, she lay back down on the sand.

The light began to shift again, and Kimimaro walked over, being careful not to shine the light in their eyes. "I don't think you should put all of your faith into that one bucket of white sand, Sakura." He looked over to Gaara. "Fate is not necessarily bound to the physical."

The pink-haired girl grumbled, an arm flung over her eyes, "So far so good, Kimimaro."

"It's rude to eavesdrop," Gaara told the older boy with a scowl.

The older boy gave him a bland look and sat down next to Sakura. "We're in a small cave, that is incredibly quiet. The two of you were not whispering, and I wasn't trying to overhear." He sighed. "I apologize if I heard something I was not supposed to hear." Then he shrugged. "I could have started to sing to myself, I suppose."

Gaara scowled at him, sure he was being made fun of, and went back to playing with his spider.

Until Sakura said something rather rude and actually threw a water bottle at Kimimaro. "I only made up that song so that I would remember how to walk properly. You two already have the balance thing down to an art. I have to think about it."

Bringing down the hand that had caught the bottle, the pale boy grinned. "And it was a lovely song, Sakura-san."

Gaara glowered at them. "And here I was hoping for  _peace_ ," he drawled. "What _ever_  could I have been thinking?"

Sakura was still scowling at him, so Kimimaro replied glibly, "Inner peace but not actual quiet?"

Gaara scoffed. "Idiot," he retorted, getting up to go tuck away his spider. "We should get going. Class will be over soon."

Smoothly rising to his feet, the white-haired boy turned and offered the girl a hand up. She took up his offer and as she was dusting herself off, he turned towards the entrance saying over his shoulder, "The song is cute, Sakura. You should teach it to us on the way back."

Sakura growled, "When we get back, I'm dumping sand in  _your_ locker!"

Gaara smirked. "I would like to witness that," he commented. "I'll take a picture for my portfolio."

Kimimaro only lifted his chin and sniffed as he stepped out into the sunlight. "Childish threats."

The two younger ones eyed his back.

This time, Sakura edged closer to Gaara and  _whispered_ , "That pool is nice and refreshing looking, isn't it?"

Gaara blinked, then smirked. "Oh, very," he replied, an evil gleam in his eye. "Think he would appreciate us helping him  _cool off_?"

"Definitely," Sakura answered and padded casually up to the target as Gaara slipped off to the side.

"Kimimaro-san," Sakura confronted him at the pool. "I don't think that you are affording me the respect that I deserve." She frowned up at him, with her hands on her hips.

The older boy stopped and raised an eyebrow.

Gaara circled around the pool and got into position before he smirked and nodded to Sakura.

To her credit, she didn't bat an eyelash. Instead she advanced another step forward, crowding into the taller boy. "Aren't you going to say anything? Or do I need to talk to Taicho about the lack of respect you show to female students?"

Kimimaro frowned. "Sakura-san, I assure you, I was only playing."

Inexplicably, Sakura nodded and smiled. "So am I, Kimimaro." She reached up and poked him on the nose, then took another step into his personal space, set her palm against his chest, and pushed.

"Sakura!"

Gaara smirked as the poor boy flailed, and when he started to regain his balance, the redhead grabbed his shoulder from behind and tugged hard. He dove to the side, even as Kimimaro splashed into the pool. Abruptly, Gaara shouldered his bag. "We should leave now," he decided. " _Before_ he retaliates."

As they fast marched out of the shade, Sakura grinned at Gaara. "Think he has enough water for the trip back?"

Gaara smirked and didn't answer.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else is giggling with glee? Gaara is _awesome_.


	22. Life goes on…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " _Itachi-kun here is missing his sweety - Aack! My spleen!_ "

"Itachi, you're such a fucking dick, you know that?!" Hidan shouted, throwing an empty soda can across the office at the black-haired Uchiha. The group were all relaxed after a day of being bored to death in school, sitting around the office at the junk yard.

Deidara grinned and wrapped an arm around Itachi's shoulders as the Uchiha frowned at Hidan. "Aww, he's just grumpy, Hidan! After all, Sakura-chan has been gone for almost an entire  _twenty four hours_."

Hidan cackled. "You're so whipped, Itachi!" he laughed.

Whipping the can at the albino's head, Itachi shrugged off Dei's arm and stood up from the fold-out chair. "Kisame."

Laid out on the sofa, the blue teen lifted his head. "Yo?"

"Come." Itachi turned and walked out the door.

Grumbling, Kisame rolled up off the cushions. "Fuck, Hidan. Now he's going to be even pissier."

"Not my fucking fault!" Hidan retorted. "He's the one being all goddamn mopey and fucking bitchy over Pinky. Blame her!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, secretly glad that Itachi had apparently decided not to beat him to within an inch of his life. "Alright, we can stop now, un. Don't want him to murder us in our sleep or something." He nodded. For a beat, he wished that Kakuzu was there to keep Hidan in line, but as it was, the money monger had gone off for some sort of 'job' and said he wouldn't be joining them for the rest of the week. Which meant Hidan would likely be out of control.

"HEY!" Hidan yelped and jumped to his feet, sticking his head out the door to spy Itachi and Kisame walking over to the latter's truck. "Where the hell're you fucking going!?"

"Eh, they're leaving already?" Deidara asked, checking the clock. He yelped. "Crap! It's already five! I promised kaasan!" He dashed out past Hidan and rushed over to his car.

"Heeeyyy! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Hidan yelled, but Dei was already sliding in behind the wheel. Looked like Hidan had the last hour of shift all to him self. Fuck. _  
_

xXx

"You can't be serious." Kankuro stood stock still at the threshold of the room and refused to budge.

Standing by a simple white desk, one that had clearly seen better days, Sakura propped a hand on her hip and scowled. "What."

Ignoring his two younger siblings that were already settling themselves around the room, the teen gestured at the floor, the walls, the bed, the windows and the ceiling. "It's... PINK."

The bedspread were various shades of light rose to dark blood, the walls were painted a baby's breath blush, the windows had sheer white lace curtains, sure, but bunched at the sides were more opaque solid, stubbornly, aggravatingly dark pink fabric. The glass of the overhead light fixture even had simple pink edges. _Who buys this stuff?_

Gaara, whom was leaning against the wall three inches from said window, sent his older brother a darkly amused smirk. "Does it make you feel emasculate, Kankuro?" he asked softly.

Temari tried to smother her laughter and mostly failed.

Kankuro, who didn't own a single pink item, huffed and dropped his book bag by the door. "Fuck off." Casting his gaze around the room again, he sighed and gingerly sat down on the -UGH- pink area rug. The PINK SHAG RUG.

Temari nearly collapsed against Sakura, giggling so hard her face was turning a dark red. The look on his face was priceless! "Wish... ahahah... I had... hehehe... a camera!"

Gaara was smirking. "Maybe we should knock him out and pose him," he said. It was impossible to tell if he was being serious or not.

"If you knock me out, then at least my retinas will be spared," he grumped, then froze as a bright flash lit the room and there was a smug beep. There was a breathless silence and then, "I will  _end you,_ Haruno."

Sakura snickered and wagged a finger at him as she handed her cell phone over to Temari who squealed. "Killing me would be pointless, don't you think?" she asked, tipped her head to the side to watch the blonde beside her relay the picture to an email account. "And you look adorable."

Gaara grinned outright. "You need to send that to my email, Temari. I might need it in the future," he said evilly.

Temari snickered and nodded. "I'll forward it," she said, and shot Kankuro a sly look. "And you wouldn't wanna hurt Sakura-chan! Or have you forgotten who she's  _dating_?" She winked, though she knew that Itachi couldn't intimidate Kankuro from all the way over in Konoha.

Pulling out a textbook, Kankuro shot his sister an amused look. "Forget who she's dating," he drawled turning to Sakura, "I know who her friends are. And she's got the whole gang wrapped around her left pinky."

The pink-haired girl blinked for a moment, then blushed. "I do not."

Kankuro snorted. "I was there for the beach party, Pinky. You even had Konan gunning for you."

Temari patted Sakura's shoulder and returned her phone. "Don't worry about him. He's just jealous of your womanly powers." She glared at Gaara when he snorted in derision. "Right,  _niichan_?"

His look quickly turned poisonous. "Don't call me that."

She just laughed at him. "Alrighttt! Actually, I have a date with a friend of mine, and she gets off work in ten minutes, so I'm gonna go meet her. You think you'll be fine with these two lack wits, Sakura-chan?"

Leaning forward, Sakura gave the other girl a quick hug. "We'll be fine. I've had worse." Hearing a snort from Kankuro, she turned and shrugged. "You're bound to be better than Hidan and Deidara."

"Gee thanks."

Temari snickered and waved, grabbing her bag off the corner of the bed. "Alright. Call me if you need any help dealing with them. I offer BA groups." At Sakura's bemused look, she grinned. "Brothers Annonymous!" She blew a kiss at Gaara and left.

He glowered after her. "I hate her."

"If you don't want her, can I have her?" Sakura teased. "I think it would be awesome having an older sister."

"Take her, she's yours," the redhead replied flatly, crossing his arms and scowling at his brother's down-turned head. "What are you studying?" he demanded after a beat.

Brown eyes turned up to meet light green and Kankuro blinked. "Biology," he answered, removing an ear bud from his ears. "Why?"

Gaara glared at him and then ignored him completely. He looked at Sakura. "I'm hungry." The statement was pretty expectant.

"Snacks or an actual meal?" she asked after blinking. The redhead was lucky she was used to being around Naruto who had a bottomless stomach or else the bid for food would have been too abrupt.

Kankuro's head snapped back up from the page. "Snacks?"

The redhead's look was somehow both irritated and incredulous. "You mean you have both?" he asked, skeptical. "Ready?" He wouldn't believe such a thing.

She raised a hand and began ticking off fingers. "Chips, cookies, salsa and more chips, chocolate almonds, peanuts, pickles, various fruits, at least one apple pie, and three boxes of cereal. That's the snacks." Slim eyebrows came together in a slight frown as she contemplated dinner. "I could order in pizza, there's a few samosas in the fridge, mac 'n cheese would be easy, there's also a meat pie in the freezer, and two types of frozen fish sticks. And frozen fries."

Pausing, Sakura took in the slightly glazed look in Kankuro's eyes and Gaara's expression. "Naruto has a black hole posing as a stomach," she shrugged.

On the floor, the older brother blinked and coughed. "Pickles?"

"Pickled onions to be exact," she clarified. "Sasuke seems to like them."

Gaara's look was full of disgust. "Tch. You don't have to bother with a meal, woman. Get me the chocolate almonds." He sneered when Kankuro gave him a disbelieving look. "I like chocolate, stupid. Pay attention." Very pointedly, he sat down on the floor by the wall and dragged his bag over. He had homework to do.

Blinking, Kankuro shrugged and got up off the rug to wander over to where Sakura was muttering over a large cardboard box on the desk.

"He had to pick the one thing that I left in the kitchen..."

"Issues Pinky?" he asked as he peered into the box with her.  _Ha!_ He grabbed a bag of Dorito's.

"Nope." Sakura tucked a few strands of loose hair behind her ear and turned around to face the expectant redhead. "Be right back. The almonds are in the kitchen," she explained as she walked out of the room.

Gaara watched her go, expression unreadable, then turned his gaze back to his bag and tugged out a folder and a text book. A few seconds more shifting and he grabbed out a pencil as well. He set the folder in his lap and had started going through it when he realized his brother was staring. He looked up. "What?"

Whatever Kankuro was going to say was cut off as a rattling buzz sounded from the desk. "Shit!" The oldest sand sibling yelped as he fumbled for Sakura's phone as it vibrated right off the edge. "Uhhh... crap." He held the phone in both hands as he looked at the screen. "I think I accidentally picked up the call."

Gaara gave him an annoyed half-glare. "Then  _talk_ to them, stupid."

"Uh, right." He lifted the phone to his ear. "Uh... hello...?"

_"Who is this?"_

He knew that voice. Oh shit. Giving his brother a wide eyed, pale-faced look (which Gaara returned with a contemptuous sneer), he attempted to smile. "Uh, Kankuro... Itachi, right? Uchiha?"

Gaara was amused. "You truly are an idiot."

There was a shuffling noise on the other side of the phone and then,  _"Yeah, that was Itachi-kun."_  another voice took over,  _"Kisame here. Kanky, dude! What are you doing with Sakura-chan's phone?"_

 _Aw shit_. He was gonna die...

Suddenly, the phone was snatched from his hand and he gaped as Gaara frowned back at him. "Who is this?" his brother demanded suspiciously.

"That's Kisame..." Kankuro hissed. "Gimme that before you piss them off!"

Gaara glared at his last comment. "Who cares?"

Kankuro tried to snatch it back, but Gaara stepped out of range and tripped him. Gaara continued. "Hello, Kisame-san. Haruno-san's getting snacks. She left her phone in the room with us when she left." It was like someone had flipped a switch, and he was suddenly polite. Then again, he  _had_  gotten all that white sand from this guy for  _free_.

 _"Aaah, study night huh? Hey, Itachi, remember the last time Sakura hosted a study night?"_  There were murmurs in the background for a second. Then Kisame was back,  _"Anyway, can you tell Sakura that she has a call? Itachi-kun here is missing his sweety - Aack! My spleen!"_

Gaara's smirk was darkly amused, and he watched Sakura step into the room only to pause. "'Itachi-kun' does not appear to appreciate your teasing. Here she is." He pulled the phone away from his ear and held it out to the rosette girl. "Kisame-san and Uchiha."

Kankuro pouted as he sat up, having just laid there as he listened to the disturbing display of a friendly conversation. His brother was an absolute freak. "Tell them I come in peace, right, Pinky?"

The girl didn't answer, only grinned as she traded the almonds for the phone. "Hi guys!" She waved at the other two boys as she moved back out into the hallway. "I missed you!"

On the other side Kisame laughed.  _"Careful girly, I know you love me, but my friend here is eyeing my kidneys. Hold on..."_ The phone was apparently shuffled around.

_"Hello Sakura."_

The girl's grin softened and she closed her eyes, savoring the chocolate sound of his voice. "Hi Itachi. I've missed you."

Kankuro, who was standing just three feet away, with only a thin wall and an open door between them, blinked. Wow, he'd never thought to hear  _that_ tone from her. He grinned and turned to say something to his brother, only to find Gaara's unnerving stare less than three inches away. He yelped. "IEEEE!"

Gaara jerked back so that when Kankuro jumped, he wasn't smacked in the face. The redhead grinned and offered him a chocolate covered almond, the gesture almost  _cheerful_. "You freak!" Kankuro belted out.

The almond was withdrawn. "Bite me."

Distracted by the yells coming from her room, Sakura turned around. "Sorry, Itachi, I can't hear you over the brothers back there."

_"Hnn, shut them up then. They can't be any worse than Hidan or Dei."_

"My thoughts exactly," Sakura smiled. Poking her head in through the door way, she saw Gaara pulling back from his brother. "Kankuro?"

He whipped around, looking very annoyed as Gaara popped the almond into his mouth. "Huh?"

"Eloquent," the redhead said, wandering back over to his books.

Kankuro ignored him.

The girl in front of him was holding her phone against her ear, but she was smiling sweetly at him. "Kankuro," she repeated, "I'm on the phone. Shut the hell up."

Itachi was grinning as Kisame laughed beside him. He had put the call on speaker phone; both of them had wanted to hear Sakura in her element.

Sharky parked the truck in front of the manga shop and turned to look at his friend. "I knew I loved that girl for a reason."

The black-eyed teen was still grinning as he smacked his best friend over the head. Then they both leaned forward to listen to the phone call.

Kankuro blinked. How could someone look so innocently sweet, yet radiate the urge to tear your head off at the same time? He looked at his brother, who flashed teeth. Maybe they were secretly related?

"I think she's waiting for your answer, stupid," Gaara drawled, turning his attention back to his book.

Kankuro looked back at Sakura and gave her a sheepish grin, nodding mutely. Best not to anger the beast. Er, Sakura. Yeah.

She reached out and patted his head. "Good. Now sit down, eat your chips and study. I may be a while."

 _"That's what she said... Ouch!"_ Kisame yelped.

_"Idiot."_

Sakura giggled as she turned back to the hallway, heading for the kitchen. "I've missed you guys so much!"

xXx

Ino made a face, sitting between Sai and Naruto in their usual spot during lunch. "Naruto, you're pathetic. Stop moping so much! You called her over the weekend, didn't you?"

The other blond nodded, slumped in his seat. "Yeah... but she was all 'I'm busy right now, Naruto' and we only got to talk for like half an hour..."

Ino punched him hard in the shoulder. "That's more than poor Sasuke-kun did!" she said, and beamed at the Uchiha, who sat on Naruto's other side, looking like he didn't really care.

The few minutes that he had gotten with his pink-haired friend had been hurried, but from what he had heard, she had been getting a long with her teachers and making new friends. He buried the small whiny voice that said she shouldn't make new friends. That she belonged back in Konoha. If anything, just to get his older brother from being such a  _pain_.

"Who cares about teme?" Naruto demanded, only to get creamed by Ino.

Sai was busy painting the scene of Ino grinding Naruto's head into the grass with her foot. "You should stay just like that. Your breasts are stretched quite beautifully that way." He barely managed to avoid her enraged kick.

Across from the scuffle, Shikamaru refused to lift his head from his arms. The whole group had been on edge since Sakura's departure. Sasuke would snap on the slightest provocation or ignore everyone completely. Naruto hardly laughed anymore, and if he did, it would end with a guilty look, followed closely by a desperate phone call to a certain pink-haired girl. Ino was determined to carry on as if nothing was wrong, but he had already stumbled upon her sniffling. So he knew better.

As for himself, Shika frowned. He wasn't depressed, no. But he was worried. While Sakura had been with their group, she had become a close friend. When she started to spend more time with Itachi's group, Shika didn't begrudge her that. Especially since he knew that the older boys would take care of her. But now she was in Suna. Far away from all her friends and anyone that Shika trusted. And the reasons for the move were so  _vague_...

"I'm gonna go visit her in Suna next weekend," Naruto suddenly announced, with absolutely no preamble at all. Nobody had to ask to know who he was talking about.

Choji's chip munching on Shikamaru's right paused. "Yeah? Take me with you? I hear they have this amazing salamander dish in Suna..." He salivated thinking about it.

Ino made a face. "Ew. And  _ew_. I'm not going. Make her come here! Suna would be totally bad for my skin! The air is so dry and the sun's unbearable!"

"You sound like you're experienced," Sai said, straight faced.

"I really do wonder why I haven't killed you yet," the feminine blonde growled.

Raising his head, Shika shook it. "It's troublesome, but I would like to go too." As the others turned to stare at him, he continued. "I want to see who her new friends are."  _And if they are good enough._

Naruto met his gaze and gave him a big smile. "Yeah! We can have a picnic!"

"What are you, five?" Ino demanded, rolling her eyes. "Besides, you don't wanna have a picnic in  _Suna_. It gets up to 90 degrees in the  _winter_ , and it's nearly Summer."

"I'll come too," Sai added. "Perhaps we could arrange to have an  _inside_ meal, or see a movie..."

"You of all people don't need to go," Ino deadpanned. "She'd cream you for that poster thing!"

"Oh yeah."

Naruto looked at Sasuke, wondering if he'd come too.

The other boy turned as if feeling Naruto's regard. Black eyes met blue. Sasuke nodded.

Naruto smiled at him. "I'll call her tonight!"

xXx

"Oi, Hidan's been acting kind of weird lately, un," Deidara said, sprawled upside down off the edge of the couch in his basement. Said albino was at work - as was Kakuzu - so it was just him, Kisame and Itachi. "You guys have any idea what that's about? It's weird!"

"He had a run in with Neji yesterday before my metal class," the blue-boy mused. "Usually that rebar-popsicle doesn't eat in the quad, so I guess Hidan couldn't resist poking."

Deidara frowned. "No, I don't think that's it, un," he said. "I walked up to him and tried to pick a fight earlier, and he totally blew me off. Didn't even hear what I'd said, un." He sat up and shifted to put his back to the back of the couch. "Something  _weird_ is going on."

From the couch, Kisame just shrugged. "Maybe he's finally taking meds."

Deidara gave him a look. "Hidan? Taking  _meds_?"

"It's a fucking  _joke_ , you idiot."

Itachi sighed. He really needed a Sakura fix. Really soon.

xXx


	23. New Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Actually, I've forgotten. What _did_ Tsunade do to you two?"

"Sakura?" Her mother poked her head into the room and smiled. "Oh, hello, Gaara-kun! I didn't know you were over."

Gaara nodded. "Hello, Haruno-san."

Naiyuri beamed and looked at Sakura again. "Your father's on the phone. He has a surprise for you."

"Dad?" Sakura jumped up from the floor and scrambled for the phone. "Thanks Mom!" She grabbed the red cordless on the desk and hit the pale green button. "Dad! What's up?"

There was a soft laugh. " _Hey there, Cupcake_ ," Haruno Yuzuki rumbled. " _How's the desert_?"

She grinned and flopped down on her bed, ignoring the snort from her study mate. "Dry and hot," she said rolling her eyes, still smiling. "Just like a desert is supposed to be. The people are nice though."

There was an annoyed huff that emanated from the other redhead in the room.

Looking over at him, Sakura lifted an eyebrow at him. Okay, so not everyone liked everyone here. Gaara certainly didn't think much of most of the population in Suna.

Yuzuki's smile was audible. " _Oh, yeah? That's good to hear. I heard you have a boyfriend_?"

"Yep!" She rolled back to look up at the rose canopy above. Smirking, Sakura thought imagined Itachi walking into her now utterly pink bedroom. Knowing him, he would twitch once and walk out. Sasuke on other hand may have an aneurysm. Naruto would yell and refuse to come in at all. "He's great. Do you remember Sasuke-kun? He's his older brother. He has a  _Camaro_!"

" _What model? Year_?" Yuzuki asked, interest piqued.

Sakura grinned. "Oh that's the best part—he remade it almost from scratch. The only thing original is the frame, everything else he had to find. Dad, it's gorgeous! And it's silver. He calls her Shiori. I don't have the heart to tell Itachi that the name makes her so adorable!"

Yuzuki laughed. " _Seems you know how to pick your guys as well as your cars, Cupcake_ ," he said. " _After all, I'm your favorite daddy, right_?"

"You're also my only dad, Dad," she drawled, rolling her eyes.

" _Oh, that's right. I somehow keep forgetting that_ ," he joked. " _Anyway, so I have a surprise for you_."

"Yeah?" Sakura sat up in bed, eyebrows raised. "Are you coming over?!" she squeaked. Gaara looked over and snorted. She stuck her tongue out at him.

He laughed. " _Slow down the thought processes, Cupcake. No, I'm not. I want you to come visit me for the weekend. There's someone I want you to meet. Someone very special_ ," he explained. " _Will you come? Please_?"

"Oooooooo!" Sakura hunched over the phone, fingers of her free hand curled over her mouth and the receiver. "Do you have a  _girlfriend_?" she stage whispered, then continued on in a normal tone. "Cuz if that's the case, then I'm definitely coming over! What's she like? Can I take her shopping? What's her favourite car?"

Her father laughed.  _"Her name is Saya. She's very sweet, I think. Not so much into cars, but she's soft on me… Other than that, I want you to judge for yourself. You see, Cupcake, I want to ask her to marry me… But I want to make sure you like her first. I want your approval_."

"Omigosh… Hey Dad—I'm gonna put the phone down for just a second okay? Just one moment," Sakura poured out the words, while waving at Gaara. "Just one second!"

She put down the phone and met Gaara's unimpressed stare. " _You may want to cover your ears for a moment_ ," she advised him.  _"Or get out of the room entirely_."

Gaara frowned but obligingly stepped out the door and closed it behind him.

As soon as her class mate was out the door, Sakura grinned and let out a high-pitched squeal. She danced around on the rug and after hopping around on few times, she yelled out, "Okay Gaara! I'm done!" Grabbing the phone off the bed, and she grinned at her door. Which wasn't opening.

"Okay, when can I come over?" It was time to plan!

" _Your mom has the information for the plane ticket. It leaves tonight at eight. I know it's only Thursday, but… It should be fine, right_?" Yuzuki asked.

"Holy—" Sakura yelped, head swinging towards the door. Gaara still hadn't come through yet. "Eight, huh? Okay, I gotta pack. How long am I staying for?"

 _"Till Sunday night. Your mom made me, otherwise I would keep you till Wednesday_ ," he said mournfully. " _You go pack. Oh, and Cupcake_?"

Pausing from where she was half inside her closet, Sakura tilted her head. "Yeah Dad?"

 _"I love you with chocolate sprinkles on top_ ," he said.

Giggling, she shook her head. "I love you too, Dad. Old radiators and all." Sakura grinned. "See you in a few hours!"

" _See you, Cupcake_." The line went dead.

Still smiling, Sakura tossed the phone back to the bed and dragged out a small luggage bag from under a pile of coats. Her dad was getting married! And she was meeting Saya for the first time, which meant good jeans, several nice tops, and she needed to dig out those warmer shoes from the back…

The door opened and Gaara returned with a plate of cookies and a big glass of milk. "So?" he prompted, sitting on the bed and setting both down on the bedside table.

It was good thing he had, because Sakura launched herself at him giggling madly.

"My Dad might be getting married!" she squealed (again) as she wrapped both arms around his neck and giggled. "I'm gonna go meet his sweet heart—and oh, he's so cute, because he wanted to know what I thought of her before he made it official—and now I gotta pack because I'm leaving in a few hours and well, I'm going to be gone from now until Sunday night, so I'll be there at school on Monday, but if you can, could you tell Temari and Kankuro?"

He blinked, brain stalling for a beat. "You're leaving?" he asked, sounding slightly lost.

Sakura shifted back, smiling. "Yep! And I've got…" She glanced at the clock, "… just about two and a half hours. Think you can survive without my pink hair for a weekend?" she teased.

He shook his head. "No," he replied. "When are you coming back? What about that picnic you were talking about?"

"No, you can't live without me or no, that's not what you meant?" Sakura blinked at him, stepping back and frowning. "I'll be back Sunday night, but that's all I know. Mom has the tickets, so I'll have to ask her." She tilted her head and pouted, picking the phone up again. "As to the picnic… I guess I'll have to tell Naruto that we'll have to postpone. I feel bad, but Dad already bought the tickets."

Gaara thought that sounded a bit presumptuous, but Sakura would hit him if he said so out loud. He sighed. "Okay. I'll help you pack."

Startled, Sakura hit the wrong button on the phone and rushed to hang up. "Gaara? Did you just—and I can't believe I'm saying this—but did you just offer to help me pack?" Swinging around, she looked straight at him. "I'm going to Kirigakure, not out into the desert."

He blinked. "Okay? What does that have to do with it? I figured your dad didn't live in the desert."

"Yeah…" Saukra approached him cautiously, one hand reaching for his forehead, "but since when do you ever offer to help?"

He knocked her hand away, looking annoyed. "If you don't want my help, fine. I'll just go," he snapped and stalked toward the door.

"Whoa!" she protested. "Yes! Okay, yes, I want your help!" She grabbed the bag and flipped it open. "Don't just go already… please?"  _Thou shalt not step on Gaara's good intentions._  As random and as blue moonish as they were.

He stopped and looked at her with a frown, but was mollified. "Fine." He walked back over to her. Women were weird.

xXx

Her red-haired father was awaiting her at the airport, holding a sign that read, "Cupcakes not for sale, get your own" and grinning widely. He was roughly the same height as Itachi, with sleep-mussed, unbrushed hair that was cut very short and dark green eyes. The man wore jeans and a green polo. He was alone.

Sakura laughed as she saw him, pulling off her floppy grey hat to throw at him. "You are so lucky we're in public or I'd have to hurt you," she joked as she jumped up to hug him tight. "So when do I get to meet Saya?!"

He grinned and hugged her back. "Tomorrow at noon. We're meeting her for lunch at a cafe." He grabbed her suitcase, leaving her to handle the carry on. "Until then, you're stuck with just me. Think that's okay, Cupcake?" he asked.

"Peachy keen," she assured him. "So have you redecorated since last time? I hope you don't still have those posters taped up in the living room!"

"Always," he teased. "Saya's favorite is the christmas one of you and Naruto-kun when you guys were eight." He grinned. "By the way… I brought Arachne."

"Augh!" Pause. "I love you, but—and Arachne too—but,  _seriously?_ "

He chuckled and jerked his head to indicate that she should follow him. "So tell me about this boy of your's. What's he like?" he asked as they walked.

"Hmm, well, his name is Itachi. He's more on the quiet side. Sneaky too. Loves his brother, idolizes his mother," she tilted her head in thought, following her father through the crowd, "get a long with his dad, though honestly, I don't see them interact all that much. His dad isn't around much. Uhm…"

Sakura laughed. "He makes people nervous, I think. You never really know what he's thinking, and a lot of the times he picks up on things that no one thinks of. It's really hard to keep secrets from him. Oh yeah, and he's a bloody perfectionist," she ended, making a face, distinctly remembering one time Itachi had seen her homework and made her re-write the whole thing because she had used a pencil instead of a pen. The lead had smudged in places.

Yuzuki laughed at the look on her face. "Sounds like you like him," he commented casually.

"Of course," she replied, smiling. "So! Saya!" Sakura reached out and snagged his arm. "Spill!"

He shook his head as he pushed open the doors. They were hit by a gust of moist wind. All around the airport were various postboards advertising water resorts, natural waterfalls and cold water springs. Nothing new there. "I told you, Cupcake. I want your impression. Your honest impression. Meaning I'm not gonna bias you, alright?"

"Pfft." Sakura waved him off. "I did say I was dating Sasuke-kun's older brother right? Sasuke  _really_ didn't like his brother these past few years, and everyone knew it. I finally meet Itachi and we get along just fine." She lifted a brow at him. "Can't you tell me how you two met at least? How long you've been seeing each other? Whether she has kids of her own? Anything?"

"She doesn't have kids. We've been dating for a year. We met at a gas station. I helped her retrieve her earring out from under an atm machine." He shrugged. "Say hello!" He gestured at his Alpha Romeo Spider, Arachne, a gorgeous crimson car that he'd bought a year previously.

Grudgingly, Sakura let herself be distracted, her eyes appreciating the lines of the automobile in front of her. She walked from the hood to the trunk, fingers tracing over the surface.

"Hi Arachne," she chirped, then leaned forward, pretending to "listen" to the car. "What's that? I shouldn't bug Dad about Saya? Hmm, I supposed you're right. I should stop talking about Itachi then," Sakura glanced over to her father mischievously, "don't want to bias him!"

He smirked. "Hmmmm… In that case, maybe I should go find Itachi-kun and introduce myself…" he said, stroking his goatee.

Flashing a grin his way, Sakura straightened and tapped the gleaming red finish. "Sounds like a fantastic idea, Dad.  _Mom's_  met him. When should we expect  _you_ over?"

He grinned. She got most of her personality from him, and it was like looking at a female version of himself. "How 'bout I just invite him over for dinner on Sunday? He can go home with you on your plane."

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. "Open the trunk, Dad. And like hell you're getting Itachi-time before me! I haven't seen him for two weeks!" She slipped pink hair out of her eyes. "Though, I'm sure when you and Saya get  _married_ , Itachi and I will be more than happy to show up at the wedding."

"You'd better!" he said, shaking a fist, before opening the driver's door and popping the trunk. "And bring that Naruto. … And his dad," he said, all shifty like.

Sakura was already lifting the metal lid when her father's words sank in. She dropped the bag in the trunk and yanked herself to the side to glare at him.  _Did he just?_ "Aaaauuugghh!" She pointed at him accusingly. "Pervert!"

"Shhhhhh!" he hissed, looking around frantically. "You idiot! I have to live in this town!" He quickly got into the car and hid, sulking.

Sakura sniffed and sauntered her way over to the driver's door. She tapped on the glass.

He jerked his thumb pointedly at the passenger's side door, glowering.

Lifting her nose in the air, Sakura picked up the luggage bag that he had forgotten on the asphalt and lugged it over to the trunk, tossing it in. Then only did she close the lid and sashay to the other side.

She smirked at him as she slid inside. "Right, like hiding in the bright red  _Spider_ is gonna help you. Pervert."

He smirked. "Luckily for you that Jiraiya-sama is well known in my neighborhood." He started the car and pulled out of the parking spot.

"I'm sure," Sakura drawled. "And his very reputation is why you were hiding in the first place."

He gave her a look. "Keep it up, Cupcake, and I might just decide to send your boy embarrassing childhood videos," he mock threatened. "Like the string bean episode…"

Sakura gave him a skeptical look of her own. "Dad, please. Last time Naruto's dad was over, the two of you were found,  _stinking of sake_ , passed out under the benches of the girl's change room at the  _swimming pool_." She scowled at him.

"Oh, and that mural you made when you were crushing on Sasuke-kun… Yes, I've still got it." He smirked.

"Ugh." She grimaced. "Well, I guess the candy hearts wouldn't ever rot," she muttered. "I'm surprised it hasn't already eaten by you and Jiraya during one of your munchy episodes. You stole my chocolates! When I was twelve!"

"That was in retribution for you hiding the sake." He chuckled. "Of course, then we found out it was Tsunade that did it…"

"And you got me liquor-filled chocolates as replacements."

"We were helping you blossom," he replied, straight-faced.

"Twelve!"

He snorted. "Cupcake, you went to Tsunade, remember? And what did she do to us, mm? I have no sympathy." He smirked.

"Actually," Sakura turned baleful green eyes his way, "I've forgotten. What  _did_ Tsunade do to you two?"

He frowned, pressing the gas. "Legs, Cupcake. Legs."

It clicked with something Sakura had heard, and she grinned at him gleefully. "She  _waxed_ you!"

He grimaced. "I still have nightmares…."

"Hmm," she slid her gaze forward to the passing scenery. "Truce? I tell Jiraya you want him to visit, and you with-hold the childhood nightmares. I just don't want to be in town at the same time as Jiraya."

"Deal. Hungry?" he asked, turning into a Sonic.

"Definitely. Grilled chicken please!"

xXx

"We chatted for a bit. Made small talk. Ugh, I hate small talk. But I think she's okay. I mean, I'm not going to tell my dad, 'No, you can't marry this woman because I said so.' That would be…" Sakura wrinkled her nose as she tossed her laundry into the hamper, "… presumptuous."

Her plane had landed two hours ago and she had disembarked dishevelled, dehydrated, and far more exhausted than she thought she would be. Gaara had been waiting by the luggage area, his red hair the only sign she needed.

Earlier, when she had called ahead to confirm that she was leaving and her arrival time, Gaara had been there at her house. The sneaky bastard had probably been waiting for her. For some reason, her mom had suggested that he pick Sakura up from the airport. The normally reticent teen had almost literally pounced on the idea.

A plane flight and several hours later, he was helping her unpack. It was  _unreal_.

She still wasn't sure how to view a helpful Gaara, but she wasn't going to poke at it. When he asked her flatly which bag he could unpack, Sakura had blinked and pointed at the carry on. It was still so weird. Shrugging, she felt that a phone call to Itachi was long overdue.

 _"I assume he will be asking her to marry him soon then?"_   Itachi's voice was like a balm. Soothing and warm.

Sakura nodded habitually, switching the phone from one ear to the other. "Yeah. He said he was. He also threatened to invite us both to the wedding. Beware. He's Jiraiya's right hand man," she babbled tiredly.

 _"Hnn, as long as I am not required to attend the bachelors party, I believe I will survive,"_ Itachi responded dryly.  _"You do realize that Mother will insist on taking you shopping for the event?"_

Sakura chuckled. "I figured. Oh geez, shopping with Mikoto-san is a scary thought."

There was a snort from Itachi.  _"Mother has excellent taste,"_ he sniffed, ever his mother's son.  _"On the other hand, she may ask to finally meet your mother. That is a frightening thought."_

"Okay, are you  _trying_  to give me nightmares?" she demanded.

 _"Just giving you perspective on the situation,'"_  he deadpanned.

She shuddered and cast Gaara a smile. He frowned and went back to carefully arranging her belongings on her bed. "Yeah, sure. Anyway, so about that rain check. This weekend?"

There was a rustling noise as Itachi got up from his bed to check his emails. " _Yes, Sasuke confirmed it._ " He paused, his voice suddenly going flat, " _Your father has upset quite a few plans_."

"Tough," she replied. "You guys will live. I'll bring some dango for everyone." She rubbed her shoulder absently. "So what's the news on everyone? I need to catch up. Is Ino still hopelessly in like with Sai? How are your guys? And Pein-kun's group? I miss everyone something awful."

 _"I miss you,_ " Itachi said instantly, softly. " _And Kisame is forever telling me to stop sulking_ ," he admitted. Still speaking softly, he sketched out the past few weeks for Sakura, ending with a comment that she would see them all at the picnic on Saturday.

She smiled a little. "I wanted to invite a friend of mine from here. Do you mind?" she asked, giving Gaara a tiny smile. He blinked and eyed her, as if unsure how to feel about that. Did she mean  _him_?

 _"Your friend may feel abandoned,"_  Itachi warned her.  _"Everyone from Konoha will be vying for your attention and I plan to be victorious for the most part."_

She giggled at that. "Is that so? I dunno, I'm pretty fond of Naruto, you know."

" _He had you in his life for years,_ " he reminded her, " _I, in contrast, have only had you for perhaps a handful of months_."

"I know," she murmured, regret creeping into her voice. "Somehow, it feels like I've known you forever."

Itachi made an amused sound.  _"I'm sure you've known of me for years, courtesy of my younger brother no doubt, but that is beside the point. I will not say that others will not make an effort to welcome your friend, however, you will be otherwise occupied."_

She quirked a brow, then nodded with a sigh. "Well, if he doesn't want to go, he can just say no," she replied, reaching up to rub her shoulder again. "Anyway, I'm sorry to chat and run, but I'm _so_ tired. And I have to finish putting my stuff away before I can go to bed, but I will definitely call you after school tomorrow, okay?"

" _Aa_ ," he murmured. " _Sleep well, and good night Sakura._ "

She smiled, nodding. "I will… I love you." It was still sometimes strange to say, but they  _had_  said it before. Just not often.

" _And I love you_." Itachi's smile was audible. "Now go s _leep._ "

She smiled, said goodbye and reluctantly hung up. Gods, she missed him. It really sucked that they'd had to move. But at least she'd made new friends. Speaking of… Sakura quirked a brow at Gaara, who was staring at her oddly. "What?"

"Nothing." He waved at the items on the bed instead. "Where do these go?"

She pursed her lips and eyed him. That was another thing. Gaara. Half the time, she wasn't sure what to think about him. He'd been nice enough… Sort of. Or at least he hadn't been needlessly cruel. Er, to her. He was a jackass to pretty much everyone else. She wondered if there was any particular  _reason_  he was nice to her, or if it was just because she was nice to him, or… Well, damn. She just wasn't sure.

Shaking her head, she redirected her attention. "Um, I'll put up the clothes, but the knick knacks can be arranged on my dresser over there and the books need to be put in the bookcase in the hall. Oh! But not the vampire one," she hurriedly corrected, walking over to it and picking it up. "I'm reading it right now." She smiled at him. "Okay? Thanks a lot for all the help, by the way."

Gaara's eyes glanced over the cover of the book briefly, then away. What she chose to read was her own business. Gathering the other paperbacks, he straightened and blinked at her waiting expression. "Don't mention it," he muttered finally, and took the books away.

She grinned, shook her head and went to her closet for hangers. Ten minutes later, he was just finishing up and she was hanging the last of the clothing (she'd stashed the underwear when he was out of the room). She sighed and swung the closet door closed. "Wanna snack?" she offered, wondering if he'd had dinner. According to her mom, he'd been around long before Sakura got off the plane, nearly three hours ago, and it was approaching ten thirty now.

Across the room, the red-head paused, brow puckering. He  _was_ hungry. Placing the last two souvenirs on the wood dresser, he turned around and scowled. No, a snack wouldn't deal with his stomach. Something more substantial was needed. Asking for that though, was presumptuous. It was likely that Sakura had already eaten before the flight and she had already told Itachi-san that she was tired.

Gaara's expression darkened.

She bit the inside of her cheek to suppress her grin. "That's a yes, isn't it? Well, that's okay, so am I. Famished, actually. I feel like cooking something. What do you want to eat?" she asked.

"Whatever you feel like," he replied instantly. Perhaps this is what Kankuro meant by a gift horse.

She quirked a brow but shrugged. "Hmmmmm, what about…." She turned toward the door, walking out slowly as she thought. "Uh… Rice and… Fried chicken? Or do you prefer breaded?"

Gaara shook his head as he followed her out of the room. "No, fried is fine."

She eyed him, then nodded. "Hmmmm, but what sort of vegetables…?"

"Steamed?" he suggested shrugging.

She nodded. "Mixed? Or do you want anything specific? We have carrots, bell peppers, cucumbers, um… I think that's it…"

Gaara blinked at her as they stood in the kitchen. "Woman–" He stopped as his stomach growled and he flushed pink. He eyed her, daring her to laugh, as he growled, "Mixed."

Sakura smiled. "Mixed it is!" she said sweetly, and practically skipped across the room to start cooking. "Help yourself to a drink from the fridge," she said over her shoulder as she got the fry pan out from under the sink.

Grumbling, he grabbed the pitcher of juice out of the fridge, then looked around for the cups. It took a couple of cupboards until he found the glasses, but he was faintly proud of himself for not having to ask.

He poured a glass and then paused. "Do you want any?" he asked abruptly.

"Yes, please," she replied, shoulders deep in the fridge. She withdrew several items and carried them over to the counter where she was working. "Oh, can you put some ice in mine? Please." She bit her lip to quell her smile. Was Sasuke this funny? No. He wasn't. He was too arrogant. Gaara was like a lost puppy.

The boy just nodded, and took out another glass. A moment later, Sakura's juice, with ice, was on the counter by the stove. Meanwhile, Gaara had retreated to the far edge of the linoleum. Hovering there, he tried to decide whether it was safe or if she would drag him into another awkward conversation.

Silence fell for a beat, before, as she poured the measured rice into the special rice bowl of measured water, Sakura started to hum to herself. She had cooked for Naruto and Sasuke so many times in the past that she barely noticed the lack of conversation. Sure, she liked to talk, but she wasn't nearly as bad as Ino…

She set the bowl in the rice cooker, closed the lid and turned it on before turning to the fry pan and putting butter in. She glanced over at Gaara, standing there looking forlorn in the corner of the kitchen, and blinked. "Gaara?" She quirked a brow. "you  _can_  sit down, you know." She nodded pointedly at the table sitting just ten feet away from him.

In return, Gaara scowled and hunched further against the door frame. "I'm fine," he muttered. It felt strange to be in a kitchen not his own, late at night, while someone other than his siblings cooked. It made him feel edgy. Sitting in a chair, waiting for his meal made him feel even more at odds. At home, he would have, but not here. It felt… intimate.

Sakura raised a brow. Hmmmm… "Okay," she said flippantly, bemused. "Can I ask you something." It wasn't  _quite_  a question.

And because it wasn't a question, Gaara didn't bother to give a verbal answer. He just stared at her and waited.

She turned on the stove top to melt the butter before crouching down to get a larger pot and a metal strainer out from the pots and pans cupboard. "Who is your best friend?"

Gaara blinked. "What?"

She turned to the handful of vegetables that she had chopped up, putting them in the metal strainer. "Your best friend. A friend of your's that is better in your eyes than everyone else," she said, putting the strainer in the pot. She tucked that beneath the faucet, letting water pool into the pot through the vegetables.

Eyes narrowed in thought, he frowned. "Kankuro." His brother was less annoying than his sister.

She blinked. "Your brother?"

He repeated his reasoning out loud to her, ending with, "It's easier to talk to him. She asks too many questions."

Sakura couldn't help the giggle, and wondered if that had been a veiled barb. "Girls do that. In our defense, it's because boys are never specific." Except Itachi, but Sakura blamed his mother's influence for that one.

Gaara shrugged slightly. "Maybe girls concentrate too much on details," he replied before he could stop himself. He blinked and then scowled at the floor. Why was he talking so much?

She hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe, but the details are just as important as the outcome, you know."

Gaara huffed, but didn't offer anything else. If there was a point to this, he wasn't going to guess at it. This was her conversation anyway.

"Gaara, I think you try too hard," she said after a beat, as she started to steam the vegetables and slid the chicken into the butter.

"'Try too hard'?" he repeated, voice lilting. What did she mean by that?

Sakura nodded. "At not getting involved. I've seen you do it like five or six times since we met. But you know what?" She turned and smiled at him. "Oh well! Want to come to a picnic this Saturday? You can thank Naruto for that sand."

Frowning slightly, Gaara stared at her. Did she want him to respond to that first statement? What was the point in him being involved with her? It was clear that she didn't belong in Suna. She was too… cheerful. Eventually, she would go back to Konoha. Back to Itachi and all her other friends.

Temari had thrown her hands up in the air when he had told her that. She kept pushing him to make friends. When it was clear he tolerated Sakura,  _and no more than that_ , his sister had insisted that he get to know the girl more.  _Have an actual friend!_  Temari had exclaimed.

A friend? Why bother? It wasn't like she would be here for long. So,  _why?_

Sakura sighed.  _Losing your temper is bad, Sak,_  Inner Sakura commented. "Why not?" she asked aloud.

Gaara blinked. He had said something? Apparently, just the 'why'. Thinking about it, he had to admit, just to himself, he did want her to be a friend. It was nice being around her. She was interesting at least, and respected his wishes. Usually.

Sakura was watching him with that same expectant expression and he gave in with a sigh. They could be friends until she left. It seemed to be happening anyway, despite his efforts.

Still, that didn't mean he was going into this picnic blind.

"Will there be a lot of people?" he asked before taking a sip of orange juice.

She blinked. "Hmmm… Well, if Itachi brings all of his friends, and Naruto drags his lunch group along, then yeah, probably. You don't have to go, if you don't want, but… I would  _like_ you to."

Meaning, everyone there would be for Sakura. That he could handle. He would just stay on the fringes and do what Temari termed 'people watch'. "Fine."

She beamed brightly. "Great!" she chirped, and the rice timer went off with a sharp  _ding!_

xXx


	24. Curing the Withdrawal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And OH MY GOD! Are those water guns?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALERT! Something has happened with Hinata!  
> For the full story you're gonna want to click the link [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3777511/chapters/8396773).

Squinting as he stepped out of the car and into the bright sunlight, Itachi was instantly grateful for his shades. If he had to shield his eyes even when he had them on, it would have been blinding without. And that would have been unacceptable especially now.

Itachi scanned the assorted picnic tables as he closed the door behind him. Various other engines shutting down around him. Hidan's and Kisame's trucks were on either side of him, the drivers already slipping out of the cabs.

A bright shock of pink flashed in the sun to his right and he turned in time to see a wave and a bright smile.

And then she threw herself at him, arms latching around his shoulders in a hug that would probably leave bruises for later discovery. "Oh, I missed you," she whispered in his ear, ignoring Hidan's teasing and Kisame's stifled snickers. She'd gotten a tan.

"I certainly hope so," he murmured, burrowing his nose into her hair, his arms winding around her waist as he leaned back against the hood. The feeling of her against him was a sharp reminder of how much he had missed her and he didn't want to let her go. From how she continued to cling, Sakura seemed to feel the same.

"So, uh… Yamanaka here yet?" Hidan asked, interrupting their moment.

Sakura blinked, and then  _blinked_. "No… Why?" And did Hidan just say a sentence without swearing?

Hidan shrugged. "Eh." He turned toward the car. "Kakuzu, it's either give up your goddamn comfort, or your money, now get the fuck out of the goddamn truck, you bitch!"

Sakura frowned.  _Nevermind_.

Face still hidden in pink strands, Itachi purred. He had half an hour to spend with Sakura alone. Somehow mother had arranged for it, and he wasn't going to question it. The younger group of her friends would be arriving  _later_.

He briefly considered telling Hidan, but just was just as quickly distracted by the girl in his arms as she breathed in and out. This might be a new bra. _It certainly is thinner._

Kakuzu was coaxed out, wearing a moody scowl, and he pointed at Sakura. "I'm not here because I like you. It's because of the free food, got it?"

Sakura snorted. "Sure, Kakuzu-san, whatever you say," she agreed, blatantly humouring him.

He muttered for a few minutes before walking over to the nearest shaded picnic table. Hidan grinned and leaned over to whisper to Sakura. "I bought a couple big cases of soda and a case of water…. Just don't tell him yet." He laughed, pulling away, and went to get them.

Sakura giggled. "Hidan's a dead man," she informed her boyfriend.

Itachi shrugged, finally pulling back enough to kiss her. Three weeks was a long time, so he took his time kissing her. Conversation was over-rated. And could be done over a phone.

Sakura grinned, even as she kissed him back, delighted to be able to do so.

And about twenty feet away… Kakuzu twitched. Did no one care about PDA? Well, he didn't, but they could at least charge! Then he saw Hidan's soda. "OI! YOU LITTLE CUNT!" he yelled, furious.

Hidan cackled and shoved the case of water into his roommate's arms just as soon as he was within swinging distance. He turned at the sound of a motor, watching Deidara pull up and shut off his truck. "Hey, fucktard! Did you bring 'em?!" he demanded as Kakuzu latched on to the water so as not to drop it. And thus waste money.

"Hey Pinky," Kisame greeted on his way past, lugging a giant canvas bag over his shoulder.

Itachi smirked as Sakura blinked at the bag. She turned back to him and he waited for the inevitable question.

"… I know I will probably regret asking, but Itachi? What is in the bag? And please don't say it's a body," she said.

"Kisame's entire armory," he replied, turning her in his arms so that she could watch as Sharky disemboweled the bag. Bright colours gleamed in the sun as dozens of water guns tumbled out on the grass. Among the hard plastic were several light bags of water balloons and a few foam balls.

Sakura's eyes widened and she grinned in delight. "Right on! This is gonna be an amazing day!" she announced cheerfully.

"Hey, Pinky, he's not the only one that came prepared for war," Hidan said.

She turned and giggled. Hidan was holding a tub of various colored water balloons, and beside him, Deidara held a duffel bag. She quirked a brow. "I'm dying here, Dei. What's in the bag?"

Deidara chuckled. "My supplies for our grand finale," he replied smugly. "Got a  _whole bunch_  of fireworks, un. But after I check them over, they go back in the truck till after dark."

She smiled. "Awesome! Beware though, guys, it gets fucking  _cold_  at night."

Behind her, Itachi hummed contentedly. "Mother is bringing several blankets, cider and hot chocolate. Your mother gave us some forewarning of what to expect. Also," he nodded towards the back of Kisame's blue truck, "in case there is a water conservation in effect, we brought several tubs of water."

Sakura turned huge eyes on him as Kisame came back from the benches. The blue-boy was just in time to hear Itachi's words. "It was a fucking  _ball_ driving a few hundred gallons of water around, but hey, it's insurance," he smirked as he brushed past them. There were still the foam bats to bring out.

Deidara scoffed. "Obsessive freaks!"

"You're one to talk," Sakura retorted with a grin.

Hidan snickered. "Says the guy that sleeps with C4 under his bed," he retorted.

The blond waved him off. "Shut it, asshole."

"Make me, you fucking girl!"

"Just like old times," Sakura murmured happily.

Chuckling, Itachi kissed her ear. "The only reason why he didn't bring the explosives was because we would have been stopped at the border," he told her softly. "He really wanted to give you a big show."

Sakura smiled. "The thought is nice anyway," she replied.

Finally, after a few minutes more bickering, the guys got everything set out, Deidara returned the fireworks to the car and they all managed to get settled at a couple picnic tables to talk. Well, maybe that was an understatement…

"Oh my god, shut UP!" Sakura yelled irately when Hidan dropped the third stupid comment in as many minutes about her butt. He was being rather hands off about it, though. Surprisingly so. Still, she smacked him for good measure.

There was some grumbling across the table as Kisame scowled and pulled out a five, while Kakuzu smirked. Hidan was grinning full-out now as well.

"When you're good, you're fucking good!" the albino cheered. He held his hand out to Kakuzu, who counted out his share.

And Sakura twitched. "You were betting on me?" she growled.

Itachi snorted. "Hidan has bets on all the girls, not just you," he said smoothly, "Yamanaka and Hyuuga included." The girl in his lap twisted around to give him a scathing glare. As he gave her a bland look in response, he filed away the surprised glance that Hidan sent his way at the mention of last name. When he had heard of the bet, Itachi had assumed all the girls attending were on the list. Perhaps not…

Sakura heaved a sigh. "What is taking Ino so long anyway? She said she should be here by now," she murmured, frowning.

The Uchiha in attendance stayed silent as he slid a hand out to Kakuzu who just as smoothly passed over a few bills. "Perhaps they stopped for food," he suggested, withdrawing his cash.

She hummed, then straightened with a grin. She lifted one arm and waved at someone that was hovering in the parking area. "Gaara! Over here!" she yelled, grinning. She lowered her arm as he reluctantly started for them and looked at Kisame. "You guys have met. You remember him? He got the white sand off of you."

"Oh yeah!" Kisame twisted around grinning widely. "We spoke on the phone too. Gaara-san! How are you?"

So this was Sakura's mystery friend, Itachi mused, watching the Suna boy walk towards them. The last of the Subaku siblings. It was interesting that Gaara was here, and yet not Temari nor Kankuro both of whom Sakura had met before moving. Perhaps they had classes together.

A small surge of jealousy surged up, but Itachi simply nudged it away. Sakura was no longer in Konoha; it was natural that she would make new friends.

Gaara stopped ten feet away, eying them all expressionlessly. He nodded in greeting to Kisame. "Hello," he said quietly.

Sakura smiled. "I'm glad you could make it, Gaara! Um…" She gestured toward Kisame. "You've met him, and this is Itachi, Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu," she said, pointing at each in turn. "Guys, this is Gaara. He's a friend from school."

From around her waist, Itachi uncurled an arm, holding out a hand. "Gaara-san," he said evenly. "Nice to meet you."

Across the table, Kisame grinned. "That's probably the nicest welcome any Subaku has ever gotten from an Uchiha. The sarcasm is even missing."

Gaara blinked and looked at the hand, then took it hesitantly. "Nice to meet you too, Itachi-san," he murmured.

Sakura beamed. "Kisame?" she asked sweetly.

"Ye-es?" blue-boy drawled back. He also took a moment to close his legs beneath the table. Sitting directly across from Miss Haruno had its dangers.

"Watch what you say to my guest," she replied, still smiling. "Please and thank you."

Gaara blinked and edged away from her. She'd smiled that way right before she beat the tar out of Ukon at lunch earlier that week.

Sharky leaned forward instead, grin full of gleaming white teeth. "Gaara-san and I have met for business before you even showed up, Pinky," he reminded her. "And besides, that was the truth. You're welcome," he added cheekily.

Itachi chuckled. "Your guest and my best friend apparently have history," he commented.

She burst into laughter, the infectious sort, and relaxed again. "I missed you too, believe it or not," she said.

Kisame's grin softened for a moment, before turning smug. "I'll remind you of that during our next family reunion." He leaned back and looked at Gaara. "May as well sit down," he suggested pointing at the empty spot next to the cuddling couple.

Meanwhile, Itachi was blinking.  _Our family reunion?_  "Sakura?"

Sakura perked right up. "She said yes? That's wonderful!" she said cheerfully. "Daddy must be so happy!"

Deidara blinked. "What am I missing, un?"

"My aunt," Kisame stated grandly. And then said nothing more.

Itachi groaned internally. Kisame and his drama.

Hidan sneered. "What the fuck about your aunt? Fucking tell us, don't be such a bitch!"

Sakura giggled. "Aaaand, my daddy. He proposed. She apparently said yes."

"Oh," Deidara said. "So you two are gonna be like cousins or something, un?"

Big shoulders shrugged. "I think? In-laws, cousins, something." He gave Itachi an apologetic look. "I guess this means later you'll be part of that too."

The Uchiha gave Kisame a flat look as the shark beamed at him.

"As a guest of course," the blue-boy added as an after thought.

Sakura fought back a blush at the insinuation and turned her attention to Gaara… Who was still standing. "Did you want something to drink?"

He blinked and shook his head. "I'm fine," he replied.

She nodded. "Okay."

Kisame opened his mouth to mention something about keeping hydrated, when there was a blaring horn from the parking lot.

"FOREHEAD GIRL! Get your ass off that  _hunk of meat_  and GIVE ME A HUG!"

There were various snerks around the table as Itachi processed being called a hunk of meat. Kisame laughed out right.

Sakura squealed so loudly that most of the nearby men clapped their hands over their ears. Then the rosette girl scrambled up and darted the fifty or so feet to her best friend, tackling her in a hug. "Ino! OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU!" she shrieked.

Back at the table, Gaara looked stunned…

"Hnn," Itachi sighed and rested his hands back on the table. Thanking every god available, including Jashin, that Ino was only one that made Sakura hit that pitch, Itachi gave the Subaku kid a sympathetic look.

Across from him, Kisame caught the look and chuckled at the redhead's expression. "First time hearing that?" he asked.

Gaara just nodded and finally sat down, even while Hidan and Deidara laughed at him. Meanwhile, Ino and Sakura were catching up. Which of course meant explosive bursts of sound, wild gesturing, too-fast-to-make-out speech and plenty of giddy jumping around. Occasionally, the others would make things out.

"… Just so  _hot_ …"

"BELIEVE it! Oh my god–"

"… Told her just…"

"Ino, I…"

And then came recognition. "OH MY GOD! HINATA-CHAN!" Sakura leapt at the shy girl, latching onto her in a hug.

"Well of COURSE Hinata! What? You didn't think she'd come? We need MORE GIRLS! _God_ , Sakura. You walk around in a crowd of men most of the time." There was a pause. "Though, I really can't blame you."

Itachi blinked. Kisame smirked. Kakuzu heaved a sigh, and the other two eyed the group with interest.

There was a very low murmur of sound, most likely the shy Hyuuga responding. What was interesting was how Kakuzu was watching Hidan. And Jashin was watching the girls.

Hidan watching female flesh wasn't new in any way, but the strange half smirk, half leer on his face was an entirely different brand of smug.

_Interesting. Potentially alarming, but interesting._

Sakura giggled and grabbed both girls by their arms, dragging them over to the table. "Guys, this is my new friend Gaara!"

Beside him, Itachi could feel the redhead tense up. Unfortunately for Gaara, there was nowhere to run now that the females were targeting him.

Before the group reached the table, Itachi lifted a brow at Sakura. "For the sake of our ears, love…"

She rolled her eyes. "Worry not, the screeching is done," she assured him. "Right Ino?" She smirked at her best friend.

"Heh. Yeah sure," Ino sniffed, tossed her head to clear her eyes of platinum hair. Then she stilled, eyes large.

Itachi's entire body tensed when the female Yamanaka let out a tightly controlled squeak.

"Oh now what?" Sakura demanded crossly.

The blonde girl darted a look from Itachi to Sakura, then back again. A high-pitched humming sound came from behind Ino's clamped lips. Seemingly about to burst, the girl fairly emanated suppressed energy.

"If you could distance yourself before you explode, Yamanaka," Itachi suggested.

The girl shot him a glare, before dragging Sakura back to the parking lot. Sakura stumbled along, sending Itachi her own confused glance, leaving Hinata alone by the picnic table, looking none too comfortable.

Sakura finally forced her friend to stop. "Okay, now what IS IT?" she demanded sharply.

"You! You wonderful, beautiful, fantastic woman, have left out details of the utmost importance! Sakura—he said  _love_ and you didn't even twitch! Which tells me—you haven't told me ANYTHING!" Ino wailed. "How can you say that you're my best friend if you didn't even tell me that the two of you are now using nicknames and 'love' is one of them!"

Sakura stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter. Of  _course_  that would get Ino's goat. Of course. "Ino, I love you… But maybe if you called more often, you would have known, mm?"

"I  _would_ ," her friend insisted, "cept you're either talking to Itachi or Naruto or  _Sasuke_ of all people!"

Sakura smiled. "Tuesday and Friday," she promised.

Ino sniffed, eyes limpid pools. "Four hours straight?"

"Three."

"With a minimum three long emails during the week?" The blonde smiled wide. "With pictures!"

"Yes to the emails; maybe to the pictures," Sakura said with a chuckle.

Ino laughed and then launched herself at Sakura. "Deal!" she squealed. "Now! This whole love thing? SPILL!"

Sakura laughed. "It's nothing unusual. I mean, we haven't said it a lot, just a couple of times…"

Kakuzu finally sighed. "Sit," he ordered the Hyuuga.

Startled, Hinata snapped her eyes over to him. One corner of her mouth twitched, but she sat down next to Gaara without protest.

"How did you survive the trip over here?" Kisame asked, as he tilted his head over to the high-pitched squeaking coming from the blonde. "I'd go insane."

The girl smiled a little more firmly and shrugged. "She wasn't like this during the drive."

Kisame gave her a skeptical look.

" _Maybe_  for a few specific songs," she allowed.

Itachi snorted.

Deidara was glancing covertly between Hidan and Hinata. Hidan was staring. _Hmmmmm_.

"What a stupid woman," Kakuzu complained.

The lone girl at the table frowned at him.

Strangely, Hidan was looking, but not saying anything. Itachi flicked his eyes over to Sharky and saw Kisame watching as well. Some of them were waiting for the albino to start baiting the Hyuuga, the other half seemed to be waiting for something else entirely.

_And Kakuzu was interacting with a girl without asking for payment._

Hidan jumped suddenly, yelping. "What the fuck?" he yelled. Then shrunk back from Kakuzu's glower. "Uh… Hi Hinata…"

Deidara's eyes widened as if he'd just solved a puzzle and he started grinning like a jack o lantern. Kakuzu sighed. At least the gossip was busy out of earshot…

The Hyuuga girl shot him a look that was part exasperation, part amusement. "Hello, Hidan."

Itachi was now watching with interest, as was Kisame. Hidan had been acting off for the whole entire week and it seemed that Hinata was the cause of it. How, he wasn't sure, but it looked as if Hidan wasn't quite sure of what he was doing.  _Kakuzu_ was talking to her more than the albino.

"Oi…" Kisame waved a hand between the girl and Hidan, "You're not really going to start are you?" he asked the albino, frowning. "Sakura is fine; Ino, sure. But her?"

Hidan bristled. "You gotta fucking problem, smartass?" he demanded.

Deidara's grin widened.

One dark blue eyebrow rose. "You gonna answer?" Blue Boy challenged back.

His partner, Itachi, leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Causing grief to Ino would be acceptable," he noted Hinata's renewed frown, "because she wouldn't stand for it. Hinata, however…"

The girl in question switched her gaze from Itachi to Hidan, waiting.  _Well?_  her expression seemed to say. It was the most aggressive Itachi had ever seen the Hyuuga.

"Sakura would skin you alive," Kisame predicted.

Hidan scowled. "One, I ain't fucking scared of Pinky," he jerked his thumb in Sakura's direction. "Two, I never planned on screwing around with her, and three, fuck you and mind your own fucking business!" he snapped.

Smirking, Kisame tossed back the rest of his drink. "Just checking," he said.

Hinata's eyebrows were both up, and her gaze firmly pointed away from all of them. Itachi was curious to note that her cheeks were tinged pink.

Checking back to where the other girls were, he could see that they were returning to the table.

Hidan sneered and crossed his arms, sulking.

Sakura stepped up beside her boyfriend and blinked at the scene. But she didn't ask. Hidan was probably enjoying his apparent misery, anyway. "So has anyone heard from Naruto and Sasuke-kun?" she asked, glancing at Ino.

Frowning slightly, the blonde look at Itachi. "Those two are getting a ride with Mrs Uchiha. She said she would be arriving a little later. They needed to pick up barbecue supplies. And OH MY GOD! Are those water guns?!"

For once, Kisame looked pained that his collection had been noticed.

Sakura grinned at the look. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she won't break them," she said sweetly.

"Those babies have lived through enough family picnics that I know how to fix anything." Kisame waved at the water warfare items. "It's my ears I'm concerned about," he groused.

Itachi nodded. "Even Sasuke wouldn't be able to decommission them." At Sakura's questioning look, he added, "We've used them for our own family summer reunions as well."

She blinked. "The ones that Sasuke-kun always comes back from looking like he tried to murder a lobster?" she asked, and sat down next to him.

"'Tried to'?" he repeated, smirking. "Appropriate word choice. And yes."

She chuckled. "So a bunch of Uchihas run around playing with water guns and actually smiling? Or is it a military precision thing?" she teased.

"Military," he replied blandly, "within expected precision. These  _are_  water pistols."

Sakura laughed, and leaned against her boyfriend. "Sounds entertaining."

"That's one way to put it," Deidara muttered, still eying Hidan.

"You can use them, yes," Kisame was saying to Ino. The blonde girl grinned and began sorting through the pile. Blue Boy walked back and thumped back into his seat. "I'm resigning myself to ruptured ear drums by the end of the day. How about you?" he asked Itachi, expression amused.

Lips quirking, Uchiha responded with, "There are females involved."

Sakura stuck her tongue out Kisame. "You're just jealous of our volume capabilities, Shark-face."

"Not volume," he countered. "Pitch. And it's not jealousy. If anyone, that would be Deidara. Can you imagine Dei having the capability to shatter glass with his voice?"

Sakura laughed at Deidara's brightened expression. "Luckily for us, he can't," she said, and smirked wickedly. "Though perhaps if I  _kick_  him…"

Deidara paled and got up, going to sit on the other side of Kakuzu at the next table. "Keep your female super powers, un!" he snapped, forcing another laugh out of her.

There was a soft giggle from further down the table and Itachi looked over to see Hyuuga smiling broadly. He was so used to seeing her reserved that the Uchiha blinked.

Leaning over to Sakura, he murmured, "Neji isn't attending is he?"

Sakura shook her head. "I don't think so. We're not really in the same clique," she replied with a shrug and a blink. "Why?"

He nodded towards Hinata on the other side of the stubbornly stoic Gaara. "She seems more relaxed without her cousin," he observed.

Sakura looked bewildered. "She  _is_  more relaxed," she said. "But we've hung out before, and she wasn't  _this_  relaxed. Weird. Maybe it's the distance…? Or did Naruto finally figure out she existed?"

Chuckling, Itachi nuzzled her ear. "It's probably the former, Sakura. Distance from an entire clan is a palpable feeling."

She sighed. "A girl can hope. She's been crushing on that idiot for years."

"Why?" The blond was an idiot. A constant prankster yes, but Itachi had long ago forgiven the incident with the locker. It had led him to Sakura after all. True, the kid kept Sasuke company, but in a romantic sense, the boy would be a disaster.

She shrugged, watching Hidan get up and lunge at Deidara in an attempt to get him to 'sing'. "Why not? Naruto is sweet and strong and protective. He's thoughtful with his close friends and he likes to make people happy. Sure, he's romantically ignorant, and kind of dumb, and ridiculous and cheesy, but… He's got those good qualities too." She smiled fondly.

"And how long as Hinata been trying to get his attention?" he asked pointedly.

Sakura sighed. "Since the third grade," she relented. "Honestly, I've wanted her to move on, but… When I said that to her she stopped talking to me for three days. She's very set on Naruto." She pouted, watching her friends tease Deidara mercilessly.

Noting the way the subject of their scrutiny was openly amused by the escalating antics, Itachi tilted his head in thought. "Perhaps she has and thus the lack of tension," he mused.

Sakura turned hopeful eyes on him. "You think so?" she asked, smiling.

He crooked an eyebrow down at her. "Perhaps," he repeated, then squeezed the arm that was around her waist. "You can either ask her or wait until Naruto arrives."

Sakura smiled. "You're right," she said, gave him a kiss on the cheek and got up. She tapped Hinata's shoulder. "Come help me with something?" she asked, smiling and nodding toward the parking lot.

"Sure," Hinata agreed, rising to her feet.

Itachi's mouth twitched as he saw Hidan react instantly. The albino's wine-red eyes tracked the pale girl as she left the table, even as his mouth was spouting out a retort to one of Deidara's jibes.  _Interesting_.

Sakura and the girl in question walked away, oblivious of the scrutiny. Once they reached the parking lot, Sakura motioned toward a small blue Sentra. "Let's partake of air conditioning for a few minutes while I grill you," she teased, threading her arm through the Hyuuga's and dragging her over to the car. "So you seem relaxed!" She opened the passenger door and motioned for Hinata to get in.

The blue-haired girl paused, both to smile at Sakura and to let the hot air escape from the confines of the vehicle. "Should I be tense?"

Sakura smiled and shook her head. "No… But you are a lot more outgoing than usual. I'm glad! It's nice to see you so happy." She circled the car and opened the other door, sitting to turn it on.

Humming, Hinata tilted her head and smiled a little wider. "I will tell you a secret," she held up a hand, "if you promise not to tell Ino."

"Cross my heart," Sakura agreed.

The Hyuuga girl let a grin curl her lips as she slipped into the car. Waiting until Sakura was also seating and the doors closed, Hinata turned to her and laughed a little self-consciously. "Hidan asked me out." And with that, she waited for Sakura's response.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "Oh… My… God… Are you  _shitting_  me?!" she yelped excitedly.

Hinata laughed delightedly. "No!" she giggled. "Isn't that crazy?"

Sakura giggled. "You kidding? That is freaking  _psycho_! You go, you bad girl!" she cheered. "So? Dish! Have you guys gone out yet? Did you like it? Has he made a move?"

"Sakura!" The other girl waved her hands, cheeks ablaze. "Nothings happened yet. We're going for pizza tomorrow. He's made plenty of moves, all of them firmly denied. It's  _Hidan_ , Sakura." She was still grinning, as if stating Hidan was himself wasn't something to worry about.

Sakura looked around shiftily and leaned closer to whisper. "So he hasn't tried to feel you up, Hinata-chan? It's Hidan after all, I would expect something like that out of him," she said, waving a hand and grinning wickedly. "Just remember, I'll beat him up if you want me to."

Hinata's pale eyes widened. "Is that what you meant by moves?" she squeaked. "No—he hasn't. He spouts pick up lines and innuendos non-stop, but he's never groped me." A frown puckered her brow. "Now what does that mean?" she asked, confused.

Sakura almost laughed. Then she realized Hinata wasn't joking. "Oh geez, seriously?" she asked, amazed. "Wow."

"Yes? No?" Hinata responded hesitantly. "Yes, I'm serious. No, he hasn't. I didn't realize he was a groper. Maybe I shouldn't go with him? But even when we were dancing, he didn't-Ulp!" she cut herself off and blushed.

Sakura grinned. "You two have danced?"

Hinata only sank a little lower in the car seat. Was the air conditioning going to kick in soon?

Sakura nudged her arm. "Hey. Don't be so shy about it! I don't disapprove, you know…"

"You may be the only one beside Kakuzu," Hinata murmured. "Yes, we danced. He wanted sex and kept hitting on me. I told him he would get a dance and that was it. We compromised." She rubbed both palms to her heated cheeks. "He's a damn good dancer."

Sakura smiled. "Is he? That's good! You know, that means he's probably good in bed too," she teased.

The other girl only meeped and hid her face entirely behind her hands. There was a mumbled affirmative and something involving Tenten and Ino and something else denying everything.

Sakura frowned at her. "Seriously, Hinata-chan, speak up."

A pale eye peeked out. "I'm dying of embarrassment here, Sakura," she spoke just above a whisper. "Cut me a little slack?"

Sakura smiled. "Hinata, it's me you're talking to. I'm dating his gang leader."

"Still embarrassed," she shot back, but still giggled. "Okay, yes, I remember what Ino said about men who dance. But I'm not telling that to  _him!_  His ego is bad enough as it is!"

Sakura wrinkled her nose. "Oh hell no. That would be disastrous."

On the other side of the car, Hinata sighed and dropped her hands. "What do you think? Give him an honest shot, or just humor him for one day?" She rubbed her hands up and down her arms as the cool air finally registered. "He's not Naruto…"

The rosette girl rolled her eyes. "Exactly! Give him a try. He may be a pervert, but he's mostly okay. I mean, Itachi wouldn't deal with him if he was unbearable."

"If you say so," Hinata responded, relaxing against the seat. "I guess if things go south, it couldn't be any different from all those other dates with my cousins." She wrinkled her nose. "Actually, at least he would be interesting."

"Yes! And cute," Sakura agreed.

Hinata slid her eyes to the side window, laughing. "And cute," she agreed. "Anyway, we should probably get back. Ino is going to have questions."

"We can tell her we were discussing water fight strategy. We are going to ambush Sasuke and Naruto! Oh! By the way, who else was coming?" she asked. "Sai, Choji and Shikamaru?"

"If you think she'll buy it, you tell her. I can't lie to save my life." Hinata grinned. "And yes. To all of them. Kiba and Shino are also coming. Lee says sorry that he can't attend," she said, rolling her eyes. "Something about a tournament."

Sakura scowled. "That baka… Oh well, he had better come visit another time then."

"Be nice," Hinata chided. "He would have been able to make it last weekend."

Sakura looked slightly guilty at that. "Oh, right…" She straightened and turned off the car. "Alright, let's get back before someone comes to get us," she said, opening the door just as a van pulled into the parking lot. She thought that might be Kiba behind the wheel.

Her assumptions were confirmed when Hinata fairly bounced out of the car up to the side of the van. The blue-haired girl rapped knuckles against the side of the sliding door, calling out, "Shino! They have water guns!"

Sakura giggled and waved as the metal panel slid open for Shino and Choji to climb out. Shikamaru got out on the other side while Sai and Kiba got out of the front. Sai zipped right over to Sakura and cupped her boobs. "Ah, I missed these! They are so much nicer than Ino's!"

Sakura hit him so hard he stumbled back and landed head first in a sand dune. "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF YOU PERVERT!" she screamed irately.

Hinata gaped as Shikamaru skulked up behind her. "And that's the only way a pervert should be greeted," he observed laconically. "Hi Sakura."

Sakura turned, switching from furious to sweetly delighted so fast it was a wonder she didn't get whiplash. "Shika!" she yelped, and hugged him. "And Choji!" A hug for him. "Shino!" And him…

Kiba held out his arms and smiled innocently. "Me too?"

She giggled and gave him a hug too. "I missed you guys! I'm glad you could make it!"

Shikamaru grinned. "Even him?" he asked, pointing at Sai who was now sitting in the sand, trying to shake the grains from his hair.

She rolled her eyes. "Even him, amazingly."

"Not many others would be able to survive such an attack," Sai commented, and looked up as a shadow fell over him. He blinked. "Hello, Kisame-san, Itachi-san."

Snickering, Kisame leaned down to haul the artist up for the elbow. "Good to see you've been keeping up your research," he said in greeting.

Next to him, Itachi sighed. There really wasn't anything he could do about Sai. Though… "Kisame? Bring him for a moment will you?" Itachi headed off to the side of the parking lot. "I'd like to speak to him."

Big blue looked down at the kid attached to the elbow he was grasping. "Oh yeah," he said amused, "Itachi hasn't even gotten to those yet today." And he hauled Sai along to where Itachi waited.

"Not gonna save him?" Kiba asked with a knowing grin, wrapping an arm around Sakura's shoulders.

She snorted. "Nope. But I plan on watching," she said, noting the artist's utter lack of terror. "He really doesn't care how bad they hurt him, does he?" she mused.

"Some how I doubt it will be as bad as Konan breaking his leg," Shikamaru drawled.

Hinata made a soft sound. "You don't think Itachi will really hurt him do you?"

They all watched as Itachi turned to talk to Sai, Kisame standing close by. The artist tilted his head in a nod, several times. Sharky laughed at some point. Itachi leaned forward and ruffled his hand through Sai's sandy hair. It was just  _odd_.

Sakura pouted. She had been somewhat hoping for blood. "Ah well," she murmured. "Aaaannnyyywwaaaay, what kind of snacks and stuff did you guys bring? Mom is bringing her food with her later, including my promised dango."

"Aaaauuugghhh! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!" Ino's shriek caused several people to flinch. "Say that AGAIN and I will shove your precious pendant so far down your throat you'll have to cough up a LUNG to get it back!"

Sakura sighed. "We left the blonds alone, didn't we?" she asked.

Kiba looked over and laughed. Hidan, Deidara and Ino. "Yep. You did."

Over to the side, Kisame was laughing as the three men meandered back towards the vehicles.

xXx


	25. Sunshine and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sakura. You're right. If you work hard enough, I can bring you _home_."

Despite the heat of the day, and the general crowd around them, Itachi kept a firm hold of Sakura as she coaxed and prodded and cajoled the redhead that sat next to them.

There were several reasons for him to keep her in his lap. He liked to hold her, and it had really been too long between too few occasions lately that he could indulge this preference. She also smelled wonderful: the shampoo in her hair, the tang of her sweat, and the underlying faint musk that was her, all combined into such a heady addicting thing. Which coupled with the first reason created the third.

Even wearing the heaviest pair of cargo shorts that he owned, it would be indecent for him to allow her off his lap.

Sakura kept wriggling in the most distracting of ways, between sparks of eye-rolling friction, Itachi wasn't sure if this delicious girl knew his predicament and was doing it on purpose or if she was doing all that hip rolling unconsciously.

Sometimes it was all he could do to hold on to her and hide his face in her hair.

The things this girl could to him, he mused. At least Mother isn't here yet…

And as if the gods felt it justifiable to screw with him, there was the rumbling sound of a car pulling to a stop, immediately followed by two door slams and a loud, excited cry of, "SAKURA-CHAAAAANNN!"

Before Sakura could be stopped, she suddenly scrambled up, yelping the names of her two best friends and dashing away. An icepack was placed on the table in front of Itachi, and Hidan grinned widely, thoroughly enjoying the Uchiha's torment. "Thought you might need that," he said, and quickly got out of range of both Itachi and Kisame.

Growling, Itachi considered chucking the offer right back at the albino's head. However… He grumbled and pulled the pack down into his lap, grimacing at the chill and covering the whole entire situation by fiddling with a water gun Kisame had given him previously.

The shark in the meantime was all but laughing out loud. In a startling display of restraint, Kisame gave him a wide grin, before yelling at everyone to pick up their guns.

The ambush of Naruto and Sasuke was underway.

Naruto yelped when Sasuke—knowing his brother and friends as he did and thus expecting such an attack—dove behind him. Mikoto stayed in the car patiently waiting out the onslaught on Naruto and Sasuke. Kiba got within reach, unfortunately for him, and Sasuke disarmed him. "Naruto!"

The blond grinned eagerly and promptly tackled Ino, who yelped out a laugh before losing her gun too.

Within minutes, lines had been drawn and the kids had moved away from the cars, even as another car pulled in and parked beside Mikoto's. No one seemed to notice the immediate conversation Shizuru and Mikoto struck up.

Sakura laughingly took her best friends' side, and got Kisame in the face.

He only grinned wider and threw a water balloon. As it burst and soaked the front of her shirt, his eyebrows went up and he darted his eyes back towards Itachi. The feral grins on both their faces spelled trouble, especially once Itachi made a hand motion to Hidan who cackled and reached under the table to pull out…  _What the hell?_

If there was a mini-gun of a water blaster, that was it. Complete with a backpack full of water. That Kakuzu was—even now—dropping  _chunks of ice_  into.

The albino shrugged the straps into place on his shoulders, while his partner screwed the cap of the reservoir into place. When Kakuzu gave the plastic container a firm tap, Hidan grinned wide and lifted the nozzle.

Sasuke quirked a grin and winked—yes,  _winked_ —at Sakura. "We'll cover you. Go get the turbo gun out of mom's trunk," he ordered.

Her eyes widened. "How–"

"A spy, now go!" he ordered, and she scuttled off toward the car.

Naruto and Sasuke defended without mercy, drenching their opponents almost as much as they were getting drenched. Sakura got the keys from Mikoto and opened the trunk, then grinned. Water grenades! And a couple turbo guns filled with water. Sakura commended Sasuke's spy. It was probably Ino.

Several yards away, Itachi arched a brow at his mother. He was sure she could see it too.

A blur of motion caught his eye, and Itachi swung around. "Kisame!" he barked, "the reservoir!"

His partner looked over and saw Kiba climbing up the side of his truck, obviously intent on refilling using enemy resources. "I'll be right back," Sharky smirked and sprinted for the culprit.

Squarely hitting Sasuke in the eye, Itachi glanced over just once, risking a hit to his ear, to see Kisame pick Kiba up bodily and drop the squirming freshman into a tub of water. The blue teenager laughingly snatched up the younger man's weapon and jogged back to Itachi.

"Swap you," he grinned. "Refilled and pressurized."

Ino squealed when Sai suddenly picked her up, allowing Hidan to get both of them. She went stiff at the freezing onslaught, and Sai beamed and plopped her down almost gently in the sand. Sakura made it to Sasuke and handed over the turbo, grinning and uncorking a water grenade before heaving it at the traitorous Sai. "Traaaiitooorr!"

Sai grinned. "I get compensation!"

Meanwhile, Naruto had inexplicably vanished… Which was unusual since it was hard to miss him. That's when Hinata and Gaara were drenched by an onslaught of filched water balloons.

The shocked girl sputtered and wiped long strands of tangled hair out of her eyes. "What–?"

She was cut off as beside her the silent Gaara dragged a hand through his hair and got to his feet. Growling.  _Oh dear_ …

Naruto laughed, standing ten feet away, and ducked when Choji yelled a warning. A water balloon sailed over him… And exploded in Gaara's face. "Whoops?" the blond said, noting the rage. He laughed. "Come and get me!" And he took off in the opposite direction.

Hinata was still blinking as the redhead surged forward with a snarl and darted off after Naruto. Naruto… He hadn't even said hello.

Unconsciously, the pale girl bit her lip and watched as Gaara caught up to Naruto and tackled the boy to the sands. There was a flurry of blows, the water pistol was tossed to the side, and Naruto was shouting. Gaara was completely silent.

"Ten dollars says that Gaara wins, but Naruto makes another fucking friend."

"What?" It seemed like that was the only thing she could say today. She turned around and saw Kakuzu watching the tussle with a clinical air, bordering on irritation. "Kakuzu?"

"Naruto's not really fighting back," he replied, then smirked, "Gaara, however, reminds me of Konan."

Hidan popped up suddenly, grinning like god just blessed him. And  _what a blessing_. "Hello there, sexy lady. Cold?" he asked, and leered.

It took a moment for Hinata to realize what the lecher was referring to. With a small mortified squeak, she folded her arms over her chest and scowled at him. His only response was a grin.

Sasuke jogged over to the fight as Naruto rolled himself and his attacker, and he gladly dropped a water balloon, watching it burst over them both. Naruto grinned and rolled off of Gaara, wiping at a bloody lip. "I'm Naruto! It's nice to meet you!" he greeted cheerfully. "Man, you have an amazing right hook!"

"Dobe," Sasuke muttered.

The redhead flat on his back blinked up at them both. "Gaara," he said shortly, jade eyes focused on Naruto as he sat up. This wasn't how he had envisioned their introductions, but the blond didn't seem to mind.

He turned his head up to study the boy who was standing over them both. "I assume you are Sasuke." Not really a question. Sakura had described both of her childhood friends rather accurately. And often.

The younger Uchiha nodded, opening his mouth to say something… But was bombarded from behind by his brother, Kisame and Deidara. He growled and whipped back around, letting loose a powerful stream of water right into Itachi's face, then ran to get out of range.

Naruto grinned and scrambled to his feet, grabbing Gaara by the arm and heaving him up too. "Quick, while Itachi is distracted!" he said, and pulled the redhead out of range as well.

Back at the picnic table, Kakuzu snorted. Hinata hadn't taken the bet. Shame. Sitting back, he eyed the other two left at the table, Hidan who was enjoying himself immensely and Hinata who looked like she was going to claw out his eyes.

Reaching down below the seats, Kakuzu removed the lid from the cold storage box and nudged it across the shadowed recesses of the table.

Feeling something hit her in the shins, Hinata looked down distractedly. There under her nose, were several white globes. They looked like snow balls.  _Kakuzu, I could kiss you._

Kakuzu watched as minute changes adjusted themselves across Hyuuga's face. Her eyes narrowed, her mouth curved a little, and the blush faded from her cheeks.

There was a small flicker of remorse that he was betraying his best friend, but Kakuzu quickly dismissed it. In the long run, getting Hinata to trash Hidan was probably a good thing. Satisfied, he watched as she pretended to lean under the table edge to hide her soaked shirt. Hidan of course leaned further towards her to keep said shirt in view.

If anything, this would be entertaining, Kakuzu thought as he saw her shoulder shift as she palmed a snow ball.

Hidan was completely unprepared. All of a sudden, he got a snow ball to the face, and his arm lifted automatically, even as he jerked back. He pulled the trigger and let the icy water fly. Which just made her colder. Go him. "Ha! I got you all wet!" he said, wiping melting ice from his face.

The goddess rose from the bench, glorious in her fury. One hand was clenched around the rim of a familiar blue insulated container– _When did she find that?-_ -and the other was already reaching in for more ammunition.

Wine red eyes widened before he dove for cover. God, she was gorgeous when pissed.

xXx

Sakura tried to stifle her snickering as her boyfriend pressed an icepack to his jaw, and Mikoto clucked her tongue and handed another one to Sasuke. When all was said and done, the older group won, except for Hidan, whom was thoroughly thrashed by Hinata. Itachi and Sasuke got into a tussle when Sasuke furiously punched his brother in the jaw, and shortly after that, Mikoto and Shizuru called a halt to the water festivities. They found Shikamaru asleep underneath a picnic table and dragged him out before the mothers proceeded to provide any medical attention necessary.

Ino didn't bother trying to contain her mirth and was laughing her ass off near a smirking Kisame.

With the two groups sprawled around on the various picnic tables, there wasn't any effort at all to keep to any one side. They had just collapsed where convenient.

Shikamaru himself was slumped onto the warm wood, eyes half closed in bliss as he watched the former enemies relax in the sun.

"They finally look like a matched set, yeah," a snicker voice piped up from behind him as the male version of Ino's hair-do dropped down on the bench.

Not bothering to lift his head, the brunet waved a hand at the man beside him in greeting. "The Uchihas or Jashin and Hinata?" The latter two where sitting side by side, plastered in sand and melting ice. Both bearing satisfied smirks. The proof that Hinata could smile like that made the small hairs on Shika's neck stand up.

"Both, probably," Kakuzu muttered, looking bored.

"The Uchihas, I get," Shika said carefully, "But the other two?" He turned his head to look at the two older teens. They were sitting far back enough from the rest of the group that their conversation wasn't noticed. Most of the others were either concentrating on warming up or were distracted by Naruto's loud boasts.

Kakuzu smirked. "That information will cost you," he said.

Nara's dark eyebrows swept up. He glanced at Deidara who at that moment looked exactly like Ino with a juicy piece of gossip.  _Wonder how far the similarities go?_  "Do you know?" he asked the blond.

Deidara nodded. "Most of it, un," he said with a wide grin, and ignored Kakuzu's scowl.

"It's going to be troublesome isn't it?"

Deidara smirked. "Depends…"

"On?"

"How well you can keep it to yourself," the blond replied with a shrug. "Cause if I tell you and it leaks out before he wants it to, Hidan might just make your life a living hell, un. Quite literally."

Shaking his head, Shikamaru pointed at Ino. "I won't tell her anything, or anyone else," he assured them. "But it might not matter. If  _I_  think something is up with those two,  _she_ will take it for granted.  So troublesome," he sighed, watching as the other two flicked glances up over to the blonde in question. "If Hidan doesn't want gossip to start, he has to move away from Hinata  _now_." Hidan near a girl wasn't out of character. The fact that Hinata wasn't running away from him was the problem.

Deidara hummed thoughtfully. "Point. Well, if it's his fault, he can hardly blame anyone else, un."

Kakuzu hummed and threw a rock at Hidan, who looked at him. He quirked a brow, looked at Hinata, back to Hidan, and repeated the gesture. Hidan blinked and looked at her. Blinked again. Shrugged and flipped Kakuzu off. He didn't move. "He doesn't care," the larger boy muttered.

Hidan hadn't moved, but Hinata had noticed the pebble sailing past her nose. She had watched the non-verbal cues flying back and forth between to the two men, and had raised an eyebrow as Hidan gave his last gesture.

Still looking relaxed, her lilac eyes had wandered back over to their table. Shikamaru sighed again as the Hyuuga girl visibly tensed, realizing that all three of them were staring at her. Sitting next to Hidan.

"Looks like she does," he observed as the girl abruptly removed herself from Hidan's vicinity.

Hidan instantly scowled, fingers twitching as if he wanted to reach out and pull her back down. But he didn't. He just sulked. That was when Deidara noticed Sakura's surreptitious glances and sly smile. "Pinky knows, un," he commented.

Shika watched as Hinata moved over to Kiba and Shino. The two boys shifted to either side, making a space between them. She took the offered seat looking a bit dazed. Kiba leaned over, but at a signal from Shino, he drew back.

"She and Hidan are together somehow," he murmured, ignoring the other two men at the table, "but she doesn't want it public yet. She's confessed to Sakura, so I can't just write this off as Hidan's fancy. And Hidan isn't making this public, so he's actually respecting her. Her close guy friends don't know, so she's unsure about this, but is willing to…" he drifted off. Willing to what? Sleep with Hidan? Date? "… give whatever is between them a try," he finished lamely.

Deidara and Kakuzu shared a glance. "Smart kid," Kakuzu said, sounding impressed. Hmm, maybe he would have some use for this boy…

Meanwhile, the mothers had set out the food, drinks and utensils and Mikoto beamed brightly. "Please, help yourselves!" she chirped, and Naiyuri giggled beside her. Yes,  _giggled_.

Shikamaru grunted as Sakura and Sasuke shared an uneasy look. Itachi sat impassively to the side of them, but it was obvious the older Uchiha brother had also picked up on the uneasiness between the younger teens.

The momentary flicker of glances were interrupted by a shout from Naruto who piled on top of Sasuke demanding to know if they had ramen.

Sasuke, of course, was deeply offended by the implied insult to his mother's cooking and began to rant at the blond about being grateful that anyone was feeding him anything. Luckily, the ever patient and calm mothers had foreseen this problem, and Naiyuri set a bowl of homemade ramen in front of Naruto. A very big bowl. "Just for you, Naruto-kun!" she said with a smile.

Sasuke stared while Naruto grinned. "Haruno-sama, I love you."

Shizuru giggled again. "Of course you do, Naruto-kun. Eat up!"

"I think I'll wait for the rush to die down before going for food," Shikamaru told his table mates as a surge of his friends crowded around the buffet.

Deidara smirked. "You'll miss out on the best parts, un!" he said, getting up. And he hurried over, joining the fray.

Kakuzu waited, biding his time, and after a few minutes, Sai appeared. He handed Kakuzu a couple of plates and accepted a five. "Pleasure doing business with you!" the perverted artist chirped.

Quirking a brow, Shikamaru just shook his head. Apparently their social circles had been mixing more than he knew.

Speaking of mixing, a hulking blue teenager thumped down on to the bench in Deidara's vacated seat. "Not hungry?" Kisame grinned down at him.

Shika looked down at the paper plate next to him, noting that the piled food nearly overflowed the edges. Deidara was wrong. If he didn't get up now, he was likely to get no food at all! "Going now," he grunted, leaving the table and the two amused teenagers.

xXx

On days like today, when the weather wasn't as sweltering hot as it usually was, Kimimaro liked to take walks with his pet. The tiny lovebird would snuggle into his hair, perched just below his ear and warble softly as they left the apartment.

Smiling as he crossed the streets, he let a finger drift up to stroke over the black and yellow feathers of Zuko's head. A sharp beak nibbled at his nail in response.

Their destination was a small public park not far from his home. Once there, Kimimaro would watch as Zuko flit from tree to tree. There wasn't much in the way of greenery here in Suna, but the bird seemed content on the wiry dry branches.

Once they reached the park though, Kimimaro was startled to see a large group of teenagers had taken over several of the park benches. Bright plastic weaponry was scattered across the sands and there were several cars parked nearby.

Water pistols were not rare in Suna, but the sheer abundance was interesting. Being a desert, water conservation laws were always in effect. So where had all the ammunition come from?

Kimimaro's white eyebrows shot up as he noticed two of his classmates in the mix of teens. Sakura and Gaara.

Zuko made a faint murmur, clearly wanting to fly, but his owner didn't immediately give the one shouldered shrug that signalled flight. Kimimaro knew his classmates would never harm a bird, but he had some reservations on some of the males in the large group. It wouldn't take much from a pressurized water gun to disrupt Zuko's flight. The bird was so tiny.

With that in mind, Kimimaro made his way over to those he recognized, hoping that his bird would have its exercise uninterrupted.

Sakura noted his approach and got up with a smile. "Kimimaro! Hi!" she greeted energetically, stopping in front of him. "A bird? What's its name?" she asked, beaming.

"Zuko," he replied automatically, stunned a little at her exuberance. "I was hoping to let him fly around the park."

"Oh? Well go ahead! No one will hurt him," she said, raising her voice slightly to be heard by the boys. She even glared for good measure. "Did you want something to eat?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Kimimaro watched as the little bird took off. "Any fruit would be welcome," he said quietly. "Gaara." He nodded to Gaara, who nodded back.

She beamed and gestured for him to have a seat. "Mom, this is my school friend Kimimaro. Kimimaro, this is my mother, Naiyuri Shizuru. And this is Uchiha Mikoto, the mother of Itachi and Sasuke," she introduced, pointing each out in turn. "He will join us, if you two don't mind!"

Giving each mother a nod, he couldn't help but noticing how very vibrant Sakura was. Surrounded by friends and family, she was as hyper as he'd ever seen her. More so even. If this was how she usually was in Konoha, he could see how much the move had changed her.

 _Itachi is a lucky man_. Kimimaro blinked at the thought as he accepted a plate of oranges and murmured his thanks to Naiyuri.  _Sakura is truly happy at the moment and it shows._

"WAH! SAI YOU JERK!" Ino shrieked from across the table, and then buried her fist in his gut before kicking him off the bench. Sakura laughed, prompting the blonde to scowl. "You see what I have to put up with, Forehead?!" she demanded shrilly.

Sakura giggled and picked up a sandwich that had appeared on her plate. She didn't remember getting it, but she must have. It was made just the way she liked it… "Oh stop bitching, Ino Pig! At least he likes you!"

"LIKES ME?! HE LIKES MY BOOBS!" Ino screamed.

"And what nice breasts they are," Sai agreed, getting up.

 _Sakura certainly has strange friends_ , Kimimaro observed, holding up a piece of fruit as Zuko landed on his wrist. On the other side of Sakura, Itachi handed Mikoto back the lettuce.  _And a dedicated lover._

Sakura smiled wistfully before digging into her food.

xXx

Eventually, the evening was drawing the a close. The sun had gone down, leaving them in a cold they found it necessary to bundle up in. A good chunk of those attending had even headed home. Most of Naruto's friends, except Hinata and Sasuke, and of course Naruto himself. Kimimaro had wandered off before sundown. Naiyuri had left just after sundown, expressing her disinterest in freezing. Mikoto had also left, alone, after extracting promises from her boys that they wouldn't stay the night in Suna.

And so it was just Itachi's group, Sakura, Hinata, Sasuke and Naruto left. For what reason? Aside from Sakura herself; the finale, a la Deidara. And like the last time she'd seen him do a fireworks show, the blond was near fanatic with glee as he set things up.

The group of teens gathered together, seated on the picnic table benches (or the table itself, in Naruto's case; much to Kakuzu's chagrin), and prepared to watch.

The feeling of Sakura's slim body in his lap had Itachi biting his lip and pulling her in even closer. When she stilled and then melted back into him with a breathless chuckle, the Uchiha shrugged unapologetically. He was male, young, and hadn't had his lover in his bed for a long long time. For now though, it would have to be enough that he was with her.

"I've missed you," he murmured into her ear when she twisted partially to look back at him, "so, so much."

Her smile was soft. "I missed you too," she admitted. "Probably just as much. Most likely more." She grinned cheekily. "It's kinda lonely without people bulldozing me first thing in the morning… between classes… at lunch… after school… Especially after school. I miss hanging out with you and the guys at the junkyard."

"Hnn." He leaned forward and nuzzled behind her ear. "Bulldozing? That's an interesting way of calling it." Itachi loosened his arms a little to allow Sakura the laugh that she needed, then curled them around her once more. "Apparently, I am… unbearable with you gone," he confessed.

Sakura grinned. "Deidara sent me an email yesterday, detailing all the reasons I should come home. Twenty six. Every other one was 'Itachi's being a dick'." She giggled.

Dark eyebrows winged up. "He could only think of thirteen reasons for you to come home?"

"Yesterday, I said," she replied, chuckling. "He's sent me similar emails every other day since I moved. Only, yesterday's was the only one detailing  _that_." She shook her head and tightened her arms around his shoulders. "I wish I  _could_  move back… It just doesn't make sense, you know… My mom losing her job so suddenly, I mean. She's a  _good_ worker. A hard worker." She frowned.

Leaning back into the table edge behind him, Itachi ignored the bite of the wood and pulled the girl back with him. "It is odd," he agreed softly. "Does she talk about it?"

Sakura shrugged. "She just said that the company had a small downsizing, and she was one of the people who got let go." She frowned. "Luckily, like the  _next_  day, an acquaintance of hers here in Suna said they had an opening for her…"

"A little convenient, hmm?" Thinking back a few months, one of the companies owned by his family had downsized. Would it be too much of a coincidence? "Where did your mother work at before? The company I mean."

"Oh, um… Madanezo Incorporated," she replied. "She was management." Her brows lifted curiously. "Why?"

Itachi propped his chin on her shoulder, looking out over the park as he thought. Uchiha owned. It sank in, bringing with it a wave of black frustration. If he had been aware of just this bit of information, he may have been able to keep Sakura home. By the simple change of having someone else let go.

"My family owns that company," he told her, frowning. "My father's company bought it five years ago… I could have pulled strings to keep you home." He sighed, rubbing his temple against her cheekbone in apology. "Where does your mother work now?" Itachi would not repeat past mistakes if he could help it.

"Erm, I think it's… Kazeomi Goods," she said after mentally flailing for an answer. "But don't quote me on that one." She sighed and gave a tiny shake of her head. "We'll figure something out, right. It's just… a matter of working hard enough. I've only got the rest of the year and two more before I graduate. And you graduate this year. We can think about… er, you know. Location shuffling." She wanted to beat Inner Sakura for her cheer of,  _'Are you telling him you'll figure out a way to move_ _ **in**_ _together? You baaaadd girl!'_

It could get really embarrassing when you're own psychosis made fun of you.

Blinking, Itachi tried to gather his thoughts. Kazeomi Goods had sounded familiar, but she was right, the name wasn't quite correct. However, there was a company he knew of called Tazume Foods. Interestingly enough, also owned by Uchiha. He was still tumbling that bit of information around when Sakura had mentioned two years, graduation and then…

"'Location shuffling'? As in transfer students?" he asked, moving his head a little away to focus on her properly.

"No, well, I mean, maybe, I hadn't thought of that," she said, and opened her mouth to blurt out the rest–when she realized how very permanent-long-term-couple it sounded. Her mouth clicked closed and she blinked. She'd have to set that trail of thinking aside for later— _'And I will so bug you with it,_ ' Inner Sakura said smugly—and focus on a plausible excuse. "I meant, you know, me moving closer to you… or vice-versa or… something… um…" She turned a faint rosy color.

Watching as the girl flushed, paled, flushed again, and finally stuttered, he shook his head and pulled her close as he mulled over her words. Move? Obviously she would not be able to move before–but she had moved before graduating already, so that argument was false. Her moving again, away from her mother, would be far more difficult. Then the question was, would he move? For her? Honestly, he had thought of it, but as much as it churned his insides and made him disgusted with his cowardice, moving to Suna did not make sense. Like Sakura, his entire life was in Konoha, including future plans. Ones that did include a certain pink-haired girl with green eyes and a wonderful mind.

"I can't move here, Sakura." He watched her eyes, saddened, guilty, wretched. "I'm sorry."

Her shoulders slumped and she swallowed hard. "Oh…" Perfect white teeth sank into her bottom lip, eyes sliding away from his. "Well… I can try to move near you, then," she whispered softly. "If you want me to, that is."

There was a growl and then a squeak, as Itachi lurched upright, pushing and pulling the girl around so that she straddled his lap facing him. He wanted no misunderstandings at this point. One hand slid up, fingertips in the fine hairs behind her ear, thumb nudging the bottom of her jaw while he held her shoulder with the other.

He glared into her eyes, wide green orbs level with his own black. "I want you near, yes. Never doubt that. The life I had envisioned is with you. Suna never factored into it. Nor will I leave you in Suna. You are coming home, to Konoha, to your friends, somehow, someway. Understand?" Narrowing his eyes and taking a deep harsh breath, he frowned sharply. "And it will not take  _two years_." Cuz, fuck that. He wanted her home  **now**.

She met his gaze, that tiny part of her that had almost gone frigid with self-defense when he said he couldn't… melting. She gave him a wobbly smile. "I understand," she replied softly. And then the smile faded, her eyes hardening. "I'll see what I can do. The transfer student idea is a good one. I'll look into it at my school, okay? Maybe Sabaku-sensei will cooperate and help me out even." She honestly doubted it; the man  _hated_  her. "And if not that… well, I'll find out something."

Her boyfriend's gaze flickered over her features, taking in her expression, then after a nod, he let the tension go. "I will be attending college soon," he murmured, hand shifting up to slide through her hair and then stilled. "Dorms," he breathed out, eyes locking onto hers.

She blinked. And blinked. "Uhm. What about them?" she asked blankly. For a smart chick, she sure had a hard time connecting the dots sometimes.

"The freshman of most colleges live on campus," he spoke quickly, "and most scholarships will cover the cost of living in the dorms. There are programs for early applicants. Some applicants are  _years_ younger than me. They just need to be supported by the correct scholarships and recommended by the right people." His hands came around to her back and dragged her down to his mouth as he whispered the last few words against her lips. "Sakura. You're  _right_. If you work hard enough, I can bring you  _home_."

She kissed him, grinning happily through it as their mouths locked–for about ten seconds.

"WHOO HOOO! You go, Itachi! Give us a fucking show! Haha! OW–KAKUZU, YOU FUCKING DICK!" Hidan yelled, and would have probably pounced him if it weren't for the shocked looking Hinata sitting between them.

Sakura turned bright red as she jerked back, and scowled at the albino. "Hidan, shut your mouth! Or I'll be telling  _secrets_!"

He yelped, gaze flickering to Hinata, who was making a perfect impression of a tomato. "Uh… don't…"

Smirking, Itachi pulled his girl in for a quick kiss before letting go. "I think Dei is almost ready anyway." Now that there was a tentative plan to bring Sakura back, the Uchiha was relaxing completely and noting the excited chatter from the blond in the middle of the park. "It's best not to steal his show."

"Yeah," Sakura agreed, and winked at Hinata (who turned redder). She got up and turned around into her original position, though she made sure to grasp both of Itachi's hands and hold them in her lap. Then she relaxed against him, smiling. "Best. Day. Ever," she confided, turning her head slightly to whisper.

"Hnn, I can think of a better day," he murmured into her hair, smiling as various plans swirled and settled in his mind.

"And what day is that?" she asked softly.

"On the day I have you back in Konoha for good, I'm going to pull you into my room, strip you down with my teeth, spread you out on my bed, and worship every single inch of skin you have using my tongue." His arms tightened. "And I assure you, that will take a full day."

She shivered slightly, cheeks tinting pink as she grinned slightly. "I'll hold you to that," she replied mischievously.

Chuckling, he suddenly groaned as she shifted in his lap. "I can think of something else I'd like you to hold in the meantime." Itachi thudded his forehead against her spine. "Fuck," he drawled. "Talking about sex was a really really bad idea."

Sakura giggled softly. "Well… if you're willing to deal with Deidara's complaining for the next few weeks, I know where there's a car," she whispered in his ear. "And no adults around."

Itachi stilled, breath drawn in with a sharp hiss, very slowly he brought his gaze up. The air shuddered out of his lungs in a gusty breath. "Very tempting," he said finally, a faint smile flickering on his lips. "But no. I can wait. This is important to him or else, no, I wouldn't care."

She chuckled. "You just don't want Hidan spying on us," she accused jokingly. "But alright. I'll relent. For now." She smirked and turned around to look back towards where Deidara was making a final check… and shifted pointedly on her lover's lap.

"Oh, you fucking minx…" he muttered, using his arms at her hips to pull her down hard into his lap.

She grinned and gave one more tiny wiggle before sitting still. "You love it," was her retort, her teeth sinking into her lip again to keep back her own wanton noises.

Sighing and nodding, Itachi nosed at her hair before turning his head down a few inches and biting down lightly on her shoulder. "I do," he admitted easily once he had let go and then uncurling an arm to point to somewhere to the side, he said blandly, "Naruto is going to explode…"

Sakura sighed wistfully and settled down, pointedly not looking at her blond friend. "Ah, well." She paused, nibbling on her lip briefly, before she quietly murmured, " _I love you_."

That outstretched arm came back to settle around her waist and he smiled into her nape. She could feel his lips move as he whispered back, "And I love you."

And as if just to complete the moment, with the same remarkable and coincidental timing as always, Deidara's first firework went off. It soared into the sky in a burst of yellow and red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be some confusion over Sakura's mom's name.  
> We know there's a name for her in canon. We like ours more. And yes, it's Naiyuri Shizuru - she took back her maiden name after the divorce, but she still allows the kids, like Naruto, to call her Haruno. Those years were part of her life, and she has Sakura. The last thing she wants to do is alienate her daughter or her friends.


	26. Can of Worms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You... Gaara. I _punched_ you."

He'd first heard it from his sister, whom was babbling about it between classes when they'd crossed paths. She had sounded very excited about it, and was scolding herself for never thinking of it. Then he overheard his brother complaining that Sakura had ditched him after school and was in talking to their father about it.

Why Kankuro cared if Sakura ditched him at any point in his life, Gaara neither understood nor asked for clarification for.

But he did want to know why Sakura was talking about enrolling in the early graduation program. Did they even have such a thing?

Regardless, he was waiting when she finally stepped out of the principal's office. "Sakura."

"Gaara-kun?" Blinking, she pulled the door closed behind her. "Oh, is Kankuro putting you up to this? Because I already told your brother I was sorry for cancelling the study date."

He blinked. Oh, so that's why he was upset. "No," he replied bluntly.

Pink brows bunched together. Sakura tilted her head. "Are you here to walk me home? Cuz I gotta go."

"Okay," he said. "I'll walk you home."

He got a brilliant smile in return.

He frowned faintly. What did that mean? "It's not far," he muttered, starting down the hall.

"I know," she replied, "but it's nice to have someone to talk to on the way."

The redhead thought about that for a moment, then jerked his head into something resembling half a nod. "Yeah," he agreed quietly.

The two of them meandered through the halls, walking in peaceful silence. Eventually, Sakura had gotten used to hanging out with Gaara. After being friends to both Ino and Naruto for so long, it had been a shock to find herself  _a_  friend, if not the only friend, of Gaara who barely spoke even when prompted. It was interesting; sometimes restful, sometimes stressful. It was hard to know what he was thinking.

They paused only once, at her locker to pick up a few books and belongings, and then they were out in the Suna sun.

Scrunching up her eyes, she grumbled about forgetting her sunglasses _again_. She'd never get used to the sun here. Then again, if her plans went through, she wouldn't have to.

There was the other reason why she wasn't talking much. As a friend, she had to tell him. However, it didn't take a genius to know how Gaara would react to her leaving town. Permanently.

Meanwhile, Gaara himself was thinking about what he'd heard from Temari. The early grad program. His eyes slid over, catching the pensive look on her face. What was  _she_  thinking about? Her boyfriend? Her friends in Konoha? How much she wanted to be there, and not here?

His expression darkened a little. She was the only real friend he had. Kimimaro didn't count. The guy mainly only talked to Gaara if they had a class together, or he was with Sakura. Coincidental and mandatory interaction only. He wasn't hostile like the rest... but he wasn't overly friendly either.

"You want to leave." It was the first time in years that he had just blurted something out, but he didn't bother trying to take it back.

Sakura stumbled. That was... "No! Well, yes..." Oh, perfect. She turned wide eyes towards him.  _Damage control_! "I like Suna. It's beautiful. But it's not my home."

He looked away, at the sandy street they walked on, and the multitude of well-insulated, fortified homes lining it. Like stone barriers standing silently in the mid-afternoon sun. "Konoha is," he murmured.

"Yeah." What else was there to say? Konoha was her home. She didn't leave it on purpose nor willingly. Choice wasn't an option. But now... Now she had a chance. "I'm going to apply for the early grad program." She bit her lip and looked at him. "So... If all goes to plan, I'll be out of here next fall."

Gaara stopped walking, something tightening in his chest. That was soon. Very soon. "Oh," he choked out after a beat. He couldn't really think of anything else to say. What  _did_  you say to the only person that had ever tried to be your friend, telling you that they were going away forever?

It was like she kicked the puppy and drowned it. Then brought it back to life... Only to tell it that its littermates had been made into coats and that it was only good enough to be made into a handbag.

"Hey, how about you come over to my house today? Hang out for a bit. You can finally tell me what you think of my friends from... from the picnic. You got to talk to Naruto for a bit right? Did you get a chance to ask about his pets?" When in doubt, ramble? Sakura crossed her fingers.

"No," he replied, and started walking again. "He told me. Without me asking. He talked a lot."

That was the blond alright. Sakura breathed a little easier and nodded. "He probably invited you over for ramen too, didn't he?" Suna didn't have ramen. It was best Naruto never found that out, he'd drag her home out of pure horror. She could imagine his reaction, ' _No RAMEN_?'

"No," Gaara repeated. He could see her house now; they were almost there. He trailed to a stop on the street corner. "Sakura."

"Yes?" She turned to face him.

For a moment, he didn't actually say anything. Then he shook his head. "It's nothing. Never mind." He sighed. "I should get going."

"You're not coming in?" she asked with a sinking heart. They were going to talk, hang out, eat food...

The redhead frowned at her. She was giving him those eyes, the puppy dog ones that seemed to make him do whatever it was she wanted. And they were working. He sighed. "Alright, for a little while," he conceded grumpily.

Okay, she knew this. It was common knowledge. It was Gaara after all. He didn't do well with physical contact. Especially out in the public. She didn't care. Sakura squealed and half tackled him in order to give him the hug that he deserved.

He stiffened at first (random bright female hugging me!) but then relaxed a little. Just a little. And then he grabbed her by the waist and tugged her back, scowling. "Women," he muttered, and huffily walked past her.

Grinning ear to ear, Sakura trailed along after him. "Men," she called back, giggling when he didn't respond.

The march up to the door was otherwise silent, though Sakura was exuding happiness like a miniature sun, so much so that Gaara could  _feel_  it despite her walking behind him.  _Women_ , he repeated mentally, and stopped by the door. Naiyuri-san wouldn't be back from work yet, so Sakura had to open the door.

The pink-haired girl behind him chuckled and she stepped up beside him, slotting the key into the lock. "What would you like to eat?" she asked as she opened the door.

"Pickled radishes," he replied, knowing exactly what sort of face she'd make.

Not to disappoint, Sakura gave him an incredulous look and eloquently stated her opinion. "Ugh."

Still, she led the way into the house, leaving her shoes in the hall. "You are the only reason my mother buys that," she declared loudly. "Just. Ew."

Directing a tiny smirk at her back, he toed off his sneakers and made sure there was no sand on his pants before going further into the house. "Temari is of the same opinion," he replied. "Kankuro and I like them."

"Then you and Kankuro are the sole reason there is any of that in the whole of... of Suna!"

"So does Tosan," he remarked. "And I've seen Kimimaro with some before."

Groaning, Sakura marched into the kitchen and grumbled as she snatched the jar from the front the fridge. "Maybe it's a genetic thing then. Only the men pick it up. And in the case of Kimi, there's  _liking it_  and eating it because it's good for you."

He shrugged. "Right. We'll go with that." He walked over to the table and prodded a chair as if it would bite him, then sat down in it.

Pointedly.

Giving him a flat glare was like looking at his spider. He saw her. He saw the expression. It just didn't trigger any of the flight or fight responses so many of her friends experienced.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him and huffed. The quick grin that appeared threw him off a little bit at least. With a sigh and a rueful shake of the head, she went about grabbing a dish and serving her friend. He could throw all the attitude he wanted, at least he wasn't running.

The redhead eyed her as she moved about the kitchen. "Psychotic."

"Uh huh," she murmured absently.

"Your friends," he clarified. "You said I should tell you what I thought. You fit in well."

Stilling with her hands hovering over the pickled bits of grossness, Sakura let that sink in. "'Scuse me?"

"Your friends are psychotic," he repeated, nonplussed when her face fell into a dark scowl. "As in crazy. Insane. Slightly off the wall."

She stalked up to him. "Where do  _you_  get off making fun of my friends?!" she demanded irately.

He blinked slowly at her. "They're the ones that are crazy."

Temper snapping, Sakura reverted to a habitual practice borne of years of knowing Naruto and Sasuke. She punched Gaara in the jaw. And then froze, feeling a similar shock akin to the one she'd had the first time she hit Itachi. Only she was pretty certain Gaara wasn't going to like it.

Gaara, who had never had anyone try to hit him before, hadn't dodged. Or even tried. Thus, his entire upper body jerked back with the blow. Silence. Then, a slow, wide, teeth-baring grin.

"Oh fuck." That seemed to sum it up. "Gaara?" Maybe running would be a good idea about now... Sakura fell back into a defensive stance... and waited.

"You hit me," he said, still grinning. His eyes were locked on her wide ones, body tense and ready to pounce. He stood slowly. "No one's done that before."

Taking a quick moment to mull over her responses, Sakura went with, "Do you want an apology?" Cuz, she wasn't going to give one.

Brutal, manic honesty was the way of the day. "No."

Typical Gaara. She narrowed her eyes and waited some more. Twenty questions was annoying.

The redhead moved, walking around her. But rather than his normal, light, quick strides, these were slow, languid and cat-like. The predator and the prey. He paced once around her, eying her. "You're interesting," he finally said, grinning all the more. "Kankuro usually runs and hides when I get like this. You're fearless. Unrepentant."

Her eyebrow had twitched once as he stepped out of her field of vision at her back, but this was Gaara. If he did turn aggressive, it would be to her front. When he came back around to her side talking, her eyes rolled to watch him.

"We've already agreed that Kankuro can be a little bitch sometimes," Sakura muttered. "I prefer to be... a little more resilient."

He took a sudden, quick step forward, foot landing a little more heavily. He watched her arms flinch upward. Not I-am-about-to-run. I-am-about-to-defend-myself. Wonderful. His grin widened, and he started circling again. "Yes," he agreed.

"Uh huh." And off he went again, in that goddamn circle. What was he? Kisame's long lost cousin? "We gonna do this all afternoon?"

"Maybe," he shot back. "Stay in Suna."

What? "No."

A moment passed before he finally stopped in front of her again. Still edgy, but grin somewhat dampened by disappointment. "Yes."

If she asked 'why', her friend would only say she was interesting to him. If she repeated 'no', he would just say 'yes'.

"Being your entertainment is not my life's priority, Gaara," she snapped at him.

He shook his head. "Don't you get it? That's not the point."

"Then what?"

He opened his mouth, then stopped as they both heard the scrape of a key in the lock. He looked at Sakura, and grinned again. "You're  _interesting_. You don't fear me." He reached out, grabbing his bag from the floor where he'd dropped it. " _You're_... special. You're not weak."

The front door opened, and he turned away, toward it.

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Sakura lowered her arms, pivoting to watch his back. What the hell just happened?

Gaara stopped in the entrance, bowing slightly like usual as Naiyuri greeted him enthusiastically. "Gaara-kun! I didn't know you'd be over today! Did you get a chance to have some of the food in the fridge? I made it for the snack..."

"My brother needs my help with a few things," the redhead replied. "So I can't stay. But thank you for the thought, Naiyuri-san."

 _This is surreal. Gaara just walked out the door_. Her mom waved at her from the hall and she smiled automatically, but her brain was running in circles and slamming into random walls.

What did it mean? To be  _special_ to Gaara?

xXx

The next morning, Gaara was waiting beside her locker, leaning against the one beside it (which happened to belong to Ukon, but he appeared to be keeping very far away). Grinning. Though not nearly as wide as the day before, or even really flashing teeth. Still, there was a nice little clearing around her locker, and him.

Feeling the attention of several dozen students and a specific pair of glittering jade eyes, Sakura huffed once and walked right up to her locker. Ignoring the whispers of the general student body should come with its own scholarship award.

She spun the dial on the lock and yanked open the aluminum, stopping it an inch from Gaara's pale nose. "You're in a fine mood this morning," she ground out.

"You're in a bad one," he shot back. "Odd. You usually light right up when you see me, according to Temari."

The books from her bag made a few sharp bangs as she shoved them into the compartments. "I think we can both agree, things are a little different today."

He put her edge now. Before he was a friend that was a little stand-offish, much like Sasuke. Maybe too much so and thus her instant acceptance of him and his eccentrics. However, this part of Gaara was not like Sasuke. Actually, it was more like  _Hidan_.

 _Oh shit._  Following that logic...

"What does 'special' mean?" She blurted out, finally meeting his eyes. "Explain that. Please."

The grin on his face inched wider, and just down the hall, there was the clatter of books falling. The redhead's grin slipped slightly, and he leveled a glower on his suddenly frozen brother about twenty feet away. The poor guy looked like he was about to piss himself.

"Idiot," the redhead grunted, and returned his attention to Sakura. His smile returned faintly. "Special? What does special usually mean, when pertaining to two people that aren't related by blood?"

 _You have got to be kidding_. "No." Didn't matter if that wasn't the question he was asking. She wasn't going there.

She swung her bag on her shoulder and snapped the locker shut.

He followed, predictably, as she started to walk away. The people around them gave the duo a wide, nervous berth. He was doing the cat-stalking thing again. "That wasn't a yes or no question," he pointed out needlessly. "Are you afraid of me now?"

Cutting her eyes at him, Sakura frowned at him. "It was a denial, Gaara," she said flatly after a hallway and many students shuffling out of their way. "And I'm not afraid of you, but you are going to be disappointed if you push this."

"Why?" he asked, picking up his pace and finally blocked her path. "You aren't afraid of me, to the point where you don't care about my reaction to punishment for transgressions. In fact, before today, you have actively sought me out on several occasions. Is it Uchiha, the one that's holding you back?"

Scowling now, she brought up a finger and jabbed him in the sternum. "Me hanging out with you is what friends do! And Itachi has nothing to do with this. There's no 'holding me back' shit. This is me telling you that I am not interested in more than a friendship."

Impossible. That's what this boy was. The same went for that widening grin.  _Impossible_. "He has everything to do with it, Sakura. He's your lover. You care for him, more than I've seen you care for anyone else, except perhaps Naruto. But where is he? Hours away. How often do you talk? Emails. Texts. The occasional phone call. Right? He's eighteen, isn't he? A legal adult. Could just transfer here himself. So where is he?"

"At home," she snarled at him. "Where I will be soon as well. You know this isn't my home. That's why I'm leaving."

" _You're_  leaving. You. Why not  _him_ ," he insisted.

"Because Gaara," Sakura shook her head, "it doesn't make sense for him to leave everything behind. Not when I can go back. Even if we weren't involved, I would want to go back to the city where I spent my entire life. I didn't have a choice to come here, so of course I'd want to go back." There was a tiny doubt though.

Would she have gone back without Itachi bringing her home? Over the last few months, she had started to accept Suna. Make new friends...

Green eyes paler and murkier than her own flickered back and forth over her face. His smile was gone. "But we like you here. I like you here. I have my sister, my brother. And you." His tone said 'that's it'.

The change was too abrupt and Sakura was left blinking. "Well, yeah. I like you guys too," she replied. "But that just shows that you can make friends. Not that I'm special."

"No, you  _are_  special," he said, frowning. "You're—"

"Gaara!" Temari rounded the corner and nearly ran into them. She skidded to a stop, looking between them, and then settling her gaze on the redhead. "What are you doing?" she demanded. "Are you bothering her, Gaara?"

Waving a hand, Sakura shook her head. "No, he's not bothering—"

BING BONG! Through the halls the two tones of the late bell sounded and Sakura sucked in a breath.

"Shit! I gotta go!"

Gaara opened his mouth, looking irritable, but his sister grabbed his shoulder and dragged him off in the opposite direction.

xXx

She managed to avoid him during lunch, simply by setting Ukon and Sakon off in his direction, saying he wanted them. Then she hid for the rest of the period. Avoiding him was impossible in Geometry, though. They had the same class.

He sat down in the seat beside hers and pulled out his homework, even as the tardy bell jangled above them. The teacher launched into the lesson, but Gaara didn't appear to really be paying attention. He was too busy watching Sakura. Pointedly.

"No." Would that deter him? Definitely not, but she could at least say that she had told him that. Repeatedly. She took down notes. Didn't look at him. Unbelievable.

He just smiled at her and followed her example. Eventually, the teacher announced groups, and because the teacher was all too aware of Gaara's tolerance level—and that of the other students—he assigned Sakura and Gaara. Gaara did not say a word about anything but the project. Though he did have a lot to say on that. More than was normal, anyway. Usually, he'd just grunt and mutter. Now he was speaking up and using two or three sentences at a time.

While she would normally encourage such a change in communication, they were well past normal, if they had ever been there in the first place. From what she knew of it, apparently there were times where one could actually relax.

Even so, Gaara seemed to be focused, helpful, and communicative. Gaara. Communicative.  _Profusely_.

 _Ow, my brain_. Sakura smiled. Nodded. Chatted back. And then when her nerve broke, she quietly excused herself out to the hall to think on the way to the bathroom.

He didn't follow her.

Moody, tight-lipped, socially awkward, physically shy, and-above all-nearly mute Gaara was being a good lab partner. He wasn't crowding her. No, he took initiative to offer answers and prodded at her to keep up with his example.

Gaara was smart. She knew that. There was depth to him, shown to her on the very first trip out into the desert where they had talked in the cave. Intellectually, she knew that if he applied himself, he would be a model student. In reality, when he was actually doing so, she was in awe.

It wasn't until she was on her way back that it hit her. Blinking down at the smudged and scraped tiles of the hall, Sakura raked a hand through her hair. Gaara had a brain. A very agile mind that easily found applicable theories.

_And he wants me to stay in Suna._

There was a clang down the hall that had her jumping and spinning, but it was only a random girl exiting a classroom for the same bathroom she had come from.

Sakura took a deep breath and marched down the hall towards class. She wasn't afraid of him.

When she stepped through the door, Gaara was watching. Brow furrowed slightly, the blonde hairs of it all but invisible. His eyes were on her, focused. His hand held a pencil. A student nearby kept looking nervously his way, as if expecting to find that glare directed on him.

The redhead was silent until she sat down. "We won't finish before class is over." Though that had been obvious from the beginning.

"Yeah, I know," she replied neutrally. Looking over the parameters of the project, it would take an hour or more.

He jerked his jaw toward the front, indicating the teacher. "He says what we don't finish is homework." He paused to let that sink in. "Let me come over and finish with you."

Lifting a brow, she cast her eyes over all the work that had already been done. Light notations in Gaara's hand littered the problems in her half of the project; she would have an easier time working off what he had started. However, that also meant that his own work was incomplete.

It made sense and he was being... reasonable. "Sure."

He nodded and went back to what he was doing. "Your phone was buzzing."

"Oh! Sorry." Sakura was about to grab her bag when the teacher looked over. "Er, I'll check later. Thanks."

A noncommittal hum was the response she got, as he continued working. A few minutes later, the bell rang, and he got up and left without a word.

He wasn't present for gym class, and eventually the coach got a note saying he spent the period with his father, of all people.

But after school, after most people had cleared out, and Sakura was leaving too... he was waiting at the doors.

"Gaara!" She had missed him at gym. In a weird wary-then-disappointed kind of way. It had also dissolved some of her worries about them by adding more to her worries about  _him_. "Is everything alright?"

He shrugged. "My father wanted to know if I was harassing fellow students. Temari tattled."

"But you weren't. I told her that." Maybe she needed to call Temari and explain... well, just the part that he wasn't... but he had been... only  _now_ he wasn't. That's what mattered.

An exhale was followed by the shifting of his feet as he turned around and walked out the door. However, rather than just leaving, he stopped... and held it for her. "She was worried about you."

Startled, Sakura paused as she was about to go through, stopping just at his shoulder. "She doesn't have to. I'm fine." She met his gaze firmly. "You're not harassing me."

That smile was back, but unlike the first time, there wasn't a trace of anything pleasant. He didn't say another word until she'd cleared the door, and he let it swing shut. "People get nervous when I'm interested in someone," he said as they started toward her house.

 _No really_? "What happened to the last person you were 'interested' in?"

"I don't know," Gaara said. "They won't let me see him." His mood soured even further, mouth pulling into something between a grimace and a sneer. "It's his fault."

Eyes cutting his way, Sakura debated whether to ask. In the end, because their friendship was based on being able to say what they wanted, she asked anyway. "Was he special too?"

"Until he tried to kill me."

She stopped in her tracks. "He  _what_?!" Somehow, Sakura doubted Gaara was using the word 'kill' lightly. Not like the way Itachi's group did. "Why?"

He lifted one shoulder in a shrug, only stopping when it was clear she wasn't about to start walking again. "Because I killed my mother," he replied. "When I was born. He hated me. Pretended to love me. Said-" He stopped. "Can we go?"

Frowning, Sakura nodded sharply and walked up to and past him. That was so messed up. You couldn't blame a baby for a death during childbirth...  _Oh_. Knowing he would sneer at any pity, she kept her eyes on the road. So that's what happened to their mother.

The redhead's shoulders relaxed slightly as they continued walking. After a block and a half, he stopped abruptly. "I don't... mind telling you. Just... Not out here," he muttered, almost too softly for her to hear.

"That's okay," she answered as she turned around ahead of him. "I didn't mean to demand. It just came out that way." Sakura gave him a small smile. "You don't have to."

Light eyes shifted away from her face, and he continued past her without another word. Remained silent until they stood on her doorstep, she pulling out the key. "I want to."

The key slid in, the lock tumbled, the door opened. Then she turned to regard her friend. "Then come inside."

A jerky nod was his response, and he followed her in. The door clicked shut, he took off his shoes and dusted some sand off his pants so he wouldn't track it in. He followed her into the kitchen; they could eat and use the table to do their homework.

The crazy strong feeling of déjà vu was distracting, but manageable. Sakura dropped her bag into one of the chairs and turned to survey the cupboards. "Do you want tea? Snacks?" Weirdness or not, she was going to be a proper host.

Another nod, and he watched her set about putting on the kettle and searching the fridge for the snacks her mother had started to make large enough for two. He finally sat down in the chair next to the one with her bag. And watched her some more.

After a while, the silence put her at ease. It shouldn't have, but this was still Gaara. Silence was his normal. She set the hot water down on the table as well as a pair of cups and a selection of tea packets. A minute later, the snackfood was laid out.

Sneaking a few glances at him, Sakura began to pull out the homework assignment as well. "Homework first and then we talk?" she offered.

"... Yeah." He sighed slowly, and they set to the homework.

About halfway through, he set down his pencil, staring at his now empty tea cup. "He said I was special. That I had been special to my mother. He said she had  _loved_  me, that her death wasn't my fault. That I..." He stopped again. "He was my uncle. Yashamaru."

Reaching out, Sakura placed a hand half on top of his own. And she waited for his reaction.

Those eyes slid downward, focused on her hand. He didn't move his, and didn't tell her to move hers. Just stared at it, as if it were unnatural. Bizarre. "My mother's twin. Then, when I was nine, Yashamaru tried to strangle me."

Her hand squeezed down on his fingers, her green gaze concerned. "But you're okay." Oh, that was a banal thing to say, but she couldn't think of anything else.

"I'm alive," he corrected. He pulled his hand out from beneath hers, but when she started to pull back, he snatched it up and held it. Her fingers were unmarred by any sort of scars, and didn't appear to have ever been broken. But they were rough with callouses; she had worked hard in her life. He released her hand as abruptly as he'd grabbed it. "I defended myself. Everyone still blames me. Last I heard, he's still in a coma."

Tapping those same fingers on the table, Sakura shook her head. "They blame you?" After a moment of more tapping, she grumbled, "And you said my friends were psychotic. Better psychotic than imbecilic."

That unpleasant smile returned. "I agree."

"Er... Huh?"

"Yesterday, I said they were psychotic. I didn't say that was a bad thing," he told her, and shrugged. The smile pulled wider. "Though I can't say I dislike the outcome."

Pink brows pulled into a frown and the tapping stopped. "You... Gaara. I  _punched_ you."

Gaara shook his head. "Not that. You defended them, your friends. They couldn't defend themselves, but you did it for them."

"Well, yeah. They're my friends and you were being a dick. I mean, you're entitled your opinion, of course. But then so am I."

"Stay in Suna," he said abruptly, and when her expression started to darken, he shook his head. "No. At least... until  _regular_  graduation."

"Two years." She frowned at him. "That's going to be two years, Gaara. You want me, to stay away from my home, my friends, my  _boyfriend_ , for two years."

Well, of course he did. That's what he was asking, but did he  _hear_ what he was asking?

He frowned back. "I want you to stay here, with the friends you have made here, and your  _mother_. For two years."

She flinched. "Ouch." Her green eyes slid down to the papers on the table and the barely-touched food. Then she sighed. "Itachi is going to kill me," she muttered morosely before she rallied. "Look, I'm going to apply for the early grad. Shut up. Listen. It's not for certain that I will get accepted. I still have to study like a crazy person and I only have a few months to raise my grades enough. I pass, I go. I don't, well, obviously I'll stay."

By staying, it might mean through college and beyond as well, because in two years, Itachi may just move on.

Lowering her head down into her hands, Sakura closed her eyes. "I like my friends. Here or there, it doesn't matter. And you are right, mom is here."

He stared at her, pink hair falling to cover most of her face. "But you love him." It wasn't a question. Just a quiet statement of fact.

"Yep." No doubt. No hesitation. Just slightly muffled.

The soft creak of the chair beneath him signaled that he'd sat back. He was frowning. "We have to finish this," he muttered, tapping the homework with a finger.

Giving a soft sigh, the girl raised her head and nodded. "Sounds like a grand idea. More tea?"

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Gaara's unhinged. Still love the crazy guy.


	27. Setting Goals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're about to start on a wonderful journey towards the prime of your life! It's time to take chances! Inspire others! Draw from the youthful—"

Aah, career week. The purpose of which was to sit each student down from tenth grade up with one of the teachers and discuss what they would be doing with their lives. Career wise, obviously.

And we open the day with Akasuna Sasori, resident psychotic and general artist. His career counselor? Ibiki, since the only other volunteers—Asuma and Gai—were out for rather obvious reasons. I.e. they didn't know how to handle the mentally cracked boy.

Ibiki sat down across from the redhead now in his office, having arrived a little late (Sasori looked annoyed, but didn't bitch to the  _counselor_  about wasting time, thankfully). "I apologize. Tobi got stuffed in a trashcan again. I had to make sure he didn't suffer more than physically."

Sasori snorted. "Idiot," was his imparted opinion.

Ibiki graciously ignored that, and just plunged into the business they were here to discuss. "So, Akasuna-san, we are here to discuss your possible future careers. I have a list of your classes and grades here, and a few suggestions—"

"Theatre."

Pause. Ibiki blinked at the redhead. "Oh. Um. Theatre... er... Any reason why?" he asked, glancing at the senior's schedule. He wasn't taking drama, but he  _had_  in 11th grade.

"Puppets."

Dark eyes lifted to meet dark eyes. Silence. Then, "Erm... and should you not be able to—"

"Theatre. Puppets."

"... ah."

xXx

"Kisame-kun! Come in, come in!"

Rolling his eyes, the big blue teenager walked in, sitting with the muffled thump. The chair squeaked.

"Yo."

Beaming wide smile, glinting perfect white teeth, shiny black hair. Gai-sensei was about as polished as the teacher could get.

"Any ideas then? You're about to start on a wonderful journey towards the prime of your life! It's time to take chances! Inspire others! Draw from the youthful—"

Perhaps it was the strangled yawn, but Kisame was betting it was the flip of a page that brought the PE teacher up short.

A slight change to the quality of smile on Gai's face had Sharky blinking. The teacher straightened in his seat and folded his hands on the desk.

"Ahem! Perhaps we should look into your strengths?"

Fifteen minutes later, Kisame was dismissed from the session. He made sure to say goodbye to both Gai and Kakashi as he left.

xXx

The Gym teacher was waiting patiently for Gaara's arrival, and as soon as the redhead had sat, he began. "Sabaku-san. Thank you for coming. As you may have heard from your fellow students, this session is a career talk." He looked at sea green eyes, but Gaara said nothing, and he eventually went on.

"According to your records, you have excellent grades in Gym, Geometry and World History, and you—"

"Is that all?"

Tenzo paused. Frowned faintly at Gaara, who stared back expressionlessly. "... you are of course required to sit in here and listen for at least ten minutes," the Gym teacher replied.

Thin lips pulled into a faint sneer. "I'll take the detention." He got up and left.

xXx

Red lips pressed into a line as she watched the youth leave the office. It was hard reaching some of the delinquents of the school, but Kurenai liked to think that at an effort to do so did make a difference.

Evidently Mr. Jashin hadn't thought so.

With a sigh, the teacher brought the discarded papers back into the pile. Though, this meant the next student could have more time. She smiled, not even needing to look at the next name on the list.

"Kiba! You can come in now."

xXx

"I like to think about being a tattoo artist," Temari said sweetly, batting her eyelashes at the man across from her.

He twitched. "A  _tattoo artist_?" her father gritted out. "Not allowed."

"But I'll be an  _adult_. You have very little say. Still! I will take your opinion into account." She got up, leaned over the desk and gave the principal a kiss on the cheek. "Now I have lunch, daddy. See you."

"Sabaku-sensei!" he yelled after her. The door shut in her wake.

xXx

"Interest?"

"Entrepreneur."

"What area?"

"... Stocks."

"Fall back?"

"Medicine."

"Sounds good enough for me. Thank you, Chuushin. You may go."

"Thank you, Ibiki-sensei."

xXx

"I understand your plans are to take over the family business," Genma drawled.

Itachi inclined his head. "Among other things, yes," he allowed.

The shop teacher bobbed his head in a nod. "Good, good. And should that prove to not be a viable option...?"

The youth paused, tilting his head. "At that point, I will enter into the Uchiha police academy. As you know, we have branches of our family in both business and law enforcement. Either is viable, and both are unlikely to fall."

The kid had a point. "Alright then. Dismissed."

xXx

"Kankuro."

There was a shifting in the chair as the middle Sabaku sibling made himself comfortable. "Yeah?"

"What are your plans?"

Shrugging, the stocky teen leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. "I'm thinking of going into chemistry. Maybe get a job in the government playing with rats."

"And if that fails?"

He flashed teeth. "Could go into physics."

Like Temari before him, Kankuro didn't look back as he left his father's office.

xXx

"Naruto get back here!" Tsunade screamed, trying to go after the other blond. But she lost him in the crowds of students hurrying to their next class. The nurse scowled and stalked back to her office to find the next person waiting patiently for her to begin.

She grumbled and sat. "Hyuuga-san."

"Tsunade-sama."

She met lilac eyes, and sighed. "What are your plans for future careers?" she asked.

The youth tilted his head, expression placid. "I had thought about studying in the family martial arts dojo for a while longer. Attending college of course."

"Of course."

"And the rest... is not your concern." He would forever be Hinata's bodyguard, after all. And that was what he would do for the remainder of his life. Paid, of course.

"I see." The blonde frowned at him. They stared at each other for the rest of the mandatory fifteen minutes, and then she sighed. He wasn't going to crack. "Dismissed."

xXx

The chair creaked when the teenager sat down. Genma and Kisame shared a solemn look and then cracked simultaneous smiles.

"Your furniture sucks."

The toothpick switched sides. "Not mine. School's."

"Your budget sucks."

The toothpick bobbed as Genma shrugged. "Eh." A paper slid across the desk. Kisame looked down.

"Huh." Sharky picked up the paper, scanning the lines and the blocked in amounts of time. "Kyuubi-san too, hm?"

"Yep. Interested?"

Snorting, Kisame waved the paper at the teacher. "You work fast."

Brown eyes slid to the side as Genma shrugged again. The student didn't need to know that he had slipped into the office after Kakashi had been run out by Gai. "You didn't answer."

"Bring in Hidan and Kakuzu, then I'll consider it." The blue boy leaned back and crossed his arms, smirking.

The toothpick switched sides again. "Not Itachi-san?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair as well.

A wave of the hand. "He's got plans already. After, maybe. Maybe."

The Advanced Metal teacher hummed. "I'll get back to you on that then." He stood up and held out a hand; Kisame matched his movements. "Thanks for stopping by."

xXx

Haku stepped into his teacher's office, the door clicking shut behind him. The other male looked up, and gave him a tiny smile. "Hi."

"Hello," the soft-spoken boy replied.

The Culinary Arts teacher waved a hand for Haku to take a seat. "You're here for a career talk," he explained. "But you probably knew that."

Smiling faintly, the boy nodded. "Yes. I had overheard the masses." He took the offered seat. "But you already know what I'll be doing."

"Fifteen minute requirement," Zabuza said with a shrug. He shifted a bit under the smile Haku gave him. The youth had been getting more and more insistent the closer he got to his eighteenth birthday. "So?" He picked up his bottled water, hoping he'd be able to cool himself off. Was it just him or did the heater break?

"I'm going to be a husband."

Zabuza choked.

xXx

The door closed behind her and Sakura stepped a few paces to the side before sighing and sagging against the wall. How did Gaara live with this guy? He was so intimidating!

The fifteen minutes were mostly a waste of time, since her earlier talk with the Suna principal had been only a few days prior and had been as detailed as possible. She hadn't wanted her first encounter with authority to think she hadn't thought it through.

She wanted to go back to Konoha, but doing so was going to take a few hurdles to get through.

It helped that the greener city (talk about grass is greener!) had a medical college that was more advanced in the area she was interested in. So it wasn't that much of a stretch to study there. A few other students were planning to go as well. Only they were leaving in two years whereas she was going this fall.

Still, the career talk had brought some new information to the table. Sabaku-sensei had been busy and thus surprised her. He had tossed a few pamphlets on the table along with business cards and a local contact. The rest of the thirteen minutes was spent reading the material while he did paperwork.

Lifting up the card and reading the chiropractor's name again, Sakura smiled. Intimidating as he was, the principal did actually care that his students got somewhere in life.

That smile stayed with her as she straightened and walked down the hallway.

xXx

" _Yo_."

"Hello Shikamaru."

" _Holy shit_!" The phone dropped, the clatter loud through the speakers. Itachi waited. " _Uchiha? How did you get my phone number_?"

That was a stupid question. The older Uchiha sibling cut his eyes to his brother who was giving the phone a disgusted look. They both waited.

" _Er... Never mind. What do you want_?"

Sasuke shifted forward. "This is about Sakura. We think someone fired Haruno-san on purpose and moved them to Suna."

There was a pause. " _Why do you think that_?"

Something in the boy's voice had both the Uchiha's eyes narrowing. "You've thought of that already," Itachi said flatly. Sasuke was sitting back, gaze down, mind at work.

" _It was too perfect_ ," Shikamaru replied. " _She was almost given a job the next day. It would have been considered a promotion if it had been within the same company. The only inconvenience is that the new position's in Suna._ "

"How long have you had that opinion?" Itachi demanded. It had already been months, why hadn't he spoken earlier?

The line was quiet again before Shika responded. " _The company belongs to your father. I wasn't sure it hadn't been you yourself that had sent Sakura away. Sasuke didn't say anything, but you wouldn't let him know anyway. I've been doing some digging_ —"

"Aniki wouldn't do that."

Shikamaru fell silent as Itachi glanced at his brother. Sasuke had his head down, face half-hidden by his bangs. "He loves her." When the teenager looked up, his expression was aloof once more. "Besides, if he wanted to break up with her, aniki would have told her face to face."

So this is what it was like to get a compliment from a brother, Itachi thought noting the warmth that he felt at Sasuke's words. Little wonder his own words stunned Sasuke. It was nice.

There was a cough from the phone. " _Well, I only know what you tell me Sasuke_."

…  _Ouch_.

Sasuke had the grace to blush.

Shaking his head, Itachi turned his attention to the phone call once more. "You said you've been digging?"

" _Yeah... Um, couldn't get very far. Your family's network is pretty damn tight_."

That went without saying. They dealt in security after all. "That won't be a problem for me," he said flatly. "Did you find anything outside of those sources?"

"Wait," Sasuke interrupted. "You said you didn't get  _very far_. That means you still got in."

Itachi blinked and gave his brother a proud look. He hadn't caught that. "He got in. Impressive."

On the other side, Shikamaru shifted and muttered something under his breath. " _Got in; found nothing_." The Uchiha's both gave the phone a skeptical look. " _Well, nothing that Itachi-san won't find in five minutes_."

"One minute," Itachi intoned, swinging around in his chair and pulling up the company's website. Logging in wouldn't even take thirty seconds from here.

"Aniki?" Sasuke watched over his shoulder as the logo flashed up and the login screen was presented.

There was more muttering from the Nara kid. " _Are you going in right now_?"

The younger brother didn't turn his head, but answered anyway. "He is."

"...  _Can I come over_?"

Itachi paused, lifted a brow and looked at Sasuke. Family secrets were going to be wide open to anyone in the room and he didn't know Nara. "Ototo?"

His brother blinked, frowned, and blushed. However, Sasuke's eyes were clear when he brought them up to meet Itachi's again. "Yeah. Come over."

" _Cool. I'll be there in twenty_."

Itachi nodded to Sasuke. "I'll tell mother we're having company."

"Later then." Shikamaru hung up.

The brothers looked at each other. Itachi cracked a smile. "Not bad."

The Uchiha black eyes rolled as Sasuke snorted. "Just get her home."

xXx

"You're not allowed to go." The redhead stood between Sakura and her door, eyes blazing, arms crossed, looking half-mad and it was only three thirty in the afternoon. "I'll lock you up," he added, slightly desperate, though obviously pissed the fuck off.

Five feet from blessed air conditioning and Sakura was gaping at her supposed best friend in Suna who was denying her relief from his goddamn sunshine.

"We've had this discussion already Gaara," she ground out. The area between her shoulder blades was beginning to itch.

He shook his head hard. "It doesn't matter. It's not going to happen. It won't happen. Ever. You should just give in."

Her left eyebrow twitched. "Can we do this inside? If I'm going to pound your ass for being obstinate, I want to be comfortable while I'm doing it."

The left eyelid twitched, and Gaara uncrossed his arms, taking a step and poking her shoulder in a move he'd probably picked up from her. "We can go inside. But you need to know, Sakura. This is real life. Not a fantasy. And you're just going to end up being stuck here. That's life."

 _Is that so?_  Sakura sneered at him. "Fantasy huh?" A fantasy that his own father was supporting her in. She swatted his hand away, stepping around him for the door.

Gaara frowned. "Yes. A fantasy, Sakura. So I'm not worried." He actually smiled at that. "Because you won't actually be leaving! See you!" He turned around and started to march away.

Key. Lock. Door. Cool air. Close door. Blink.  _What the fuck_?

 _I think Gaara's lost it_. Sakura peered through the peephole.

He was almost out of sight... when he stopped and his shoulders slumped. He shook his head, took a step, stopped again. The redhead turned, glancing back toward her house, unaware she was watching. He frowned.

Sighing, and knowing that she was about to spend the next three hours in voluntary irritation, the pink-haired girl swung the door open.

"I offer pickled radishes," she called out to him. "Get in here!"

"You're not leaving!" he retorted automatically, then paused. "Oh. Um. Okay. Thanks?"

With her luck, Suna probably thought she was sleeping with the idiot. Waving at him to come in, she left the door slightly ajar and retreated to the kitchen where it was even cooler.  _Fucking Suna kids. The sunshine was doing it. Probably. Yeah. Too much sun._

Perking, the redhead ran inside and closed the door almost cheerfully behind him. He paused to take off his shoes and shake the sand from his pants, then joined Sakura in the kitchen. He smiled. "Radishes?"

With her one eyebrow raised and her chin in her palm, the now seated girl did not look impressed. She pointed at the fridge. "Go at it."

He paused, eyes narrowing slightly on her in suspicion. Then he edged over to the fridge and opened the door, standing behind it. Satisfied she hadn't booby-trapped the thing, he got out the pickled radishes and started eating them. From the jar.  _Men._

Sakura wrinkled her nose before shrugging. The stuff was for his exclusive use anyway. "You going to sit down?" she asked. He was still standing there with the fridge open. Granted the extra cool air was probably nice, but still. "And close the door."

"Um, about that 'kick my ass' thing," he said reluctantly, shutting the door of the fridge.

Head tilting, she smiled. "Yes?"

Chewing and swallowing took a moment, but he eventually continued. "I think I'll stay standing." He shrugged. "To prevent it, obviously."

Well, she wasn't going to beat him  _now_ , here in the kitchen. Her mom would flip. Her smile dropped away. "I've already applied, Gaara." That had happened a week ago, during the career talk. Subaku-sensei hadn't seen a reason to delay.

"They'll turn you down then," he replied bluntly.

"It's possible," she admitted flatly. The principal had warned her that there would be no slacking off allowed in the plan.

He nodded smugly and took a pointed bite of his snack. "I will kiss my sister if you get in." Pause. "Luckily, you won't."

Her grin was sudden and vicious. "Make it Kankuro and, if you're right, I'll never complain about pickled radishes ever again."

Sea foam eyes narrowed. "Deal."

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, Career Week was painful and boring. Enlightening only in the bewildering kind of way. I envy these kids their conviction.


	28. Red and White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little sweet Hinata said, "Keep him alive and suffering for decades, Kakuzu-san."

Flopping down into his seat, Hidan heaved a sigh. It would just be him and Deidara today. Well, and then later Hinata, hopefully. But Kakuzu and Kisame were at work, Itachi was off plotting dastardly deeds that somehow appeared to involve Sakura (the Jashin kind of actually missed her a bit, believe it or not).

Wait. No. Deidara wouldn't be coming either. Something about explosives, and a rock bed. Hidan was dying to know, but the blond had been pretty hush-hush about it. Regardless, that all meant—

"DAMMIT! I'm fucking alone. For hours. On my fucking own." He scowled. "... cards? No. Solitaire is for gays." He looked around the room, but nothing caught his interest. Until... "Ooooh, shiney."

Getting up, he quickly retrieved the bit of metal and sat down again. He looked around, toward the camera, but didn't bother turning his back to it. Luckily, before he relieved his boredom by stabbing his own hand, the door opened.

"Yo. Jashin," drawled a familiar voice from the door. "Gotta minute to talk?"

Setting down the letter opener, Hidan spun in his chair, eying Shiranui Genma suspiciously. "Sure, teach. C'mon in. What's up?" He didn't mention the older male almost seeing him stab himself. Why worry? It didn't matter.

On the job and playing with sharp objects. This being a junkyard, Genma wasn't surprised. "Kisame said you'd be good for a project," he began, stepping through the entrance and tugging the door closed. "I'm thinking of opening up a shop of my own. Small stuff first. Mostly metal, may get into other materials. What we do depends on who I have with me." He took a seat in Itachi's spot, the comfy chair, and waited.

A look almost like Kakuzu's expression of pure calculation settled briefly across the albino's face. He must have picked it up. "What about Kakuzu?" he asked, but chances were, if Kisame had mentioned him, he'd mentioned his roommate as well. It would be stupid not to. Kakuzu could get money out of a broke, morbidly obese corpse. That was like five hundred years old.

"From what I've heard, Chuushin has plans that don't involve a small starting business," Genma replied cautiously. He'd like to have Kakuzu on, but if the guy already knew what he wanted... "If he's willing to consider, then yeah, he's welcome."

The albino nodded. Wise man. "Yeah, but better ask him. He'd be brilliant for it, and if it makes him money, he'll probably consider it. At least through college," he reasoned. "As for me, I'll need a bit more detail before I make any decisions. You understand."

Waving a hand, the other man grunted. "Wouldn't expect anything less. Kakuzu part-time would be better than any other person I know pulling over-time. I'll get the business plan over to you later in the week. Email okay?"

Hidan nodded, grinning sharply. "Sure. Sounds good."

"Alright then." Genma paused. "Damn, this is a good chair." It made a few things clear about Kisame's opinion earlier today about furniture. And this was a junkyard office! Shaking his head, the teacher rose and walked over to shake Hidan's hand. "See you tomorrow."

Hidan got up and took the proffered hand, pumping it twice before releasing. "Yeah, later. Er, and make sure you don't go near the fridge outside?"

One brown eyebrow rose and the toothpick tilted as Shiranui smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Great." Hidan almost beamed at him. In a scary, I'm-probably-an-axe-murderer kind of way. He watched the brunet leave with a lazy wave tossed over his shoulder, then sat down, grinning.  _Oooh, how fucking interesting!_

He snatched up his phone and texted Kakuzu. He knew he wouldn't get a reply until after Kakuzu's shift—somewhere around two AM—but that was out-of-the-way and he wouldn't forget now.

However, with that done... he had nothing else to do for two hours.

" _Fuck_ , I'm gay," he grumbled, and pulled out the cards for solitaire.

When, two hours later, the door opened to reveal his hot girlfriend, he was attempting—with partial success—to create a card tower with marshmallows he'd found stuffed into a drawer of the desk. He paused, blinking, and gave her a sheepish look. "I was bored."

"No kidding." She carefully nudged the door closed and took a seat nearby. "How old are those things?" The marshmallows looked  _gray_.

"Uh..." He snatched up the now empty bag. "Two years. Wow, no wonder they tasted weird."

Pearl eyes blinked at him. "You... " was about as far as she got before dissolving into giggles and collapsing against the couch.

He grinned at her reaction and tossed the bag aside again. "I what? C'mon, at least finish your sentence! Though..." He paused, eying her chest as it heaved. "I don't mind the view."

Still gasping for breath, Hinata rolled over to her side and stuck her tongue out at him. Then giggled some more at his expression.

"You shouldn't tempt me, you know," he murmured, eyes narrowing as he got up. "Cause... I have the codes to turn off the camera."

Daring him with a grin, Hinata stretched out completely, the left arm resting in a curve over her head and the other splayed out on her stomach. "Too obvious," she told him cheerfully. "Your boss would be able to figure this—" She twirled her right index finger around, indicating the office. "—out way too easily."

His eyes slid sideways, as if he could stare at the camera behind him through the back of his skull. "You're right," he said after a beat, and then looked back at her. Wine-red eyes danced as he sat down.

And grinned. "So I'm just gonna  _tell_  you what I'm gonna do to you. Audio's broken."

The Hyuuga girl blushed bright red and brought both hands down to lace on her stomach. "Not tempting. This is me not tempting," she vowed scrambling to sit up.

His grin grew wider as he got up again, walked over, sat down and dragged her into his lap. "Or we could just give the old man a show..."

"Hidan!" For all of her protests though, she didn't shove him away.

"Whaaat? Oh c'mon, you always say nooo," he whined. "We're dating! Say yes! Like hell I'm gonna fuck you and drop you after all the work I put in to  _keeping_  you!"

All movement stilled. Then Hinata raised her head and blinked up at him, a faint frown appearing. "Where did that come from?"

"Tch." His grip loosened, and he made a face. "That pansy ass bitch cousin of yours. Keeps saying that he's gonna kill me if I go after you and then drop you. Guess I figured you were worried about the same thing..."

Sighing, Hinata relaxed and cuddled further into his arms, smiling slightly as they tightened again. "It's not that I'm afraid you'll leave me after sex," she muttered. "Neji is wrong about that. Just—Seriously, my first time, in your  _work office_?" She ended with a huff.

He actually appeared to be considering this. "You have a point," he murmured thoughtfully. "We should go out to the car instead." He grinned outright when she swatted him. "Awww, you  _do_  love me!"

Poke. "I—" Poke. "Will." Jab. "NEVER." Poke. " _Ever_." Poke. "Bring you another fucking lunch ever again!" Hinata ended with a jab to the side of his ribs. He could  _feel_ the heat radiating off her cheeks. And imagine how far down the flush travelled...

He leaned forward a little, their mouths a fraction of an inch apart. "I don't mind. Means  _I_  can bring  _you_  some for once," he said, and stole a quick kiss.

Kisses were supposed to be nice. Arousing, sure. They weren't supposed to elicit a growl of pure frustration though. Not like the one Hinata was giving him. "Not. The. Point."

The crass albino barely managed to refrain from making a cock joke, and instead changed the subject. "Does that mean you  _don't_  love me?" He gave her a winning smile.

"Hidan." Her tone was flat. "The last time you said that to me, was three seconds before you dumped ice down the front of my shirt."

"Are you saying you want me to do something to get you wet? Cause I'm cool with that," he retorted.

She blinked once, gave him a trembling glare, then burst into giggles, repeating, "I give up!" between hiccups and gasps against his throat.

He snickered and gave her another tiny kiss before finally relaxing against the couch. "Hidan, four, Hinata... fucking six."

Coughing a little to choke down her laughter, Hinata raised her eyes. "Is that what I'm doing? Well, at least I have his number." She hid from him as she giggled some more. Apparently, being a Hyuuga didn't save you from making bad jokes.

"Oh," he said, voice loud and pained. "Oh, c'mon, and  _I_  make bad jokes?! Oh Hinata, you truly were sculpted just for me!"

There was a soft thump as her fist came up and lightly punched him in the shoulder. "Shaddup."

He tugged her face up into view and kissed her again. "Never."

Feeling light-headed and philosophical, she shrugged regaining her breath. "Hmm, in that case..." She reached up and dragged him down to her by the back of his head. Kissing seemed to shut him up just fine.

Her reaction, while a bit unexpected (though less and less every day), was reciprocated without a pause. With tongue, and teeth, and lips. His hands came up, fingers burying themselves in her hair, as the zealot greedily plundered her mouth.

And when they parted, it was only long enough for half a breath before he trailed the kisses down. Her jaw, the space just beneath her ear, behind it, her pulse... all with the same, painstaking attention as the original kiss, only somehow more erotic.

Still, his hands stayed where they were, in her hair.

Hinata's hands were a slight bit more active. One had indeed wrapped up to dig nails into his scalp, but the other had slipped down under his arm, a warm palm with sharp points that wandered and scratched in random patterns up and down his back.

Her head was thrown back over the bend of his elbow, the smooth white column of her throat open to the air. She gasped and shuddered as he bit down on her neck, a tiny moan escaping as he suckled the soft skin in the dip of her collarbone. Across her delicate skin, he took tiny pinches between his teeth, nibbling and scraping. It was only when he had gone as far as her neckline would allow that he paused.

For a moment, they panted. Each clinging to the other and working through the haze. Little wonder Hidan decided to go back in. He was already licking one hot line up her abused throat when Hinata tugged on his hair.

"E-enough... Hi-dan." He would never get tired of hearing her gasp like that, but he could do without the words.

"D'I have to?" he mumbled, staring sideways up at her with dark red eyes.

Lifting her head a little more, she gave him a wry smile, lips bruised and swollen. Utterly delicious. "Work office, Hidan." She let herself relax, neck arching as her eyes disappeared from view, though he could feel her voice below his lips. "If we keep going... I don't know if I can stop you again."

A slow grin slid across his mouth. "Alright, I release you... for now," he said evilly. He didn't tell her that the audio wasn't the only thing broken on that camera. Kakuzu had smashed it with a book months ago.

"Oh goody," Hinata murmured, then lifted her hand from his hair to languidly point at the couch cushions next to him. "Pour me out over there will you? Thanks."

He smirked again and stole one last kiss before shifting her over where directed. "Tease," he accused lightheartedly.

"Hmm, if I wasn't, you wouldn't be interested. Hell, I wouldn't be interested. Interesting. That." She rubbed a palm over her eyes, blinking when she discovered a trace of blood on a few of her nails. "Oh shit..."

"Eh? Oh. Knew I was hornier than usual," he said thoughtfully.

Flushing crimson again, Hinata sat up. "Idiot. Turn around and let me look," she demanded.

Sighing, he twisted around and rolled up his shirt, locking it in place with both arms right inside the hem. "I don't mind it, Hinata..."

The damage wasn't bad at all. True, there were red tracks up and down his back, numerous and dark enough on his skin that Hinata was both embarrassed and amazed at herself. Only two scratches had broken skin though, neither were deep.

She ran a hand across his back, fingertips tracing over the raised welts. "Wow."

The albino shivered slightly at her touch, gulping.  _Shit_. "Yeah," he bit out.

Shaking her head slightly, Hinata pulled back and got up from the couch. "I'm getting the first aid kit. Just to clean it."

"Uh..." He chuckled awkwardly. "It's... empty."

Three steps away, the blue-haired girl stopped and turned. "Seriously?"

"Yes?" He shrugged at her expression. "What? It's usually me and the guys, and the boss rarely ever replaces the contents... not since my first week, actually..." He trailed off, blinking.

Grumbling something about safety procedures and tetanus, she stalked back and slumped down onto the couch, eyes back to her handiwork. "I guess we'll have to wait until we get you home," she sighed and reached out again to trace another line.

He gulped under the force of another shiver.  _Shit_. He was ticklish there! Man, she was torture. "Yep," he grunted.

Pausing, she blinked. He had... twitched? She slid another finger up his side, this time wandering further to avoid a scratch.

Hidan moaned. Like a girl. Not groaned. Not growled.  _Moaned_. Like a  _fucking girl_. "Can we... not do that," the young man practically pleaded.

A grin started to grow, but the Hyuuga stayed behind him. "Does it hurt?" she asked as she lightly stroked two fingers down his spine.

"No." And that was a  _whine_. Fuck, he was such a pansy.

Humming, Hinata brought both hands into play, trailing the backs of her nails from his spine to the curve of his sides. "So, why do you want me to stop?"

He jerked away. "Stoppit!" he yelped.

"Okay," she replied cheerfully, bringing up one knee and wrapping her arms around it. "I'll let you go."

A baleful glare was shot in her direction as he quickly fixed his shirt. "Geez. No one knows I'm ticklish, Hinata.  _No one_. Not even fucking Kakuzu. Or Itachi. And those bastards know fucking  _everything_."

The beaming smile that Hinata wore stayed in place, though one black eyebrow rose.

Huffing and shaking himself lightly, he shrugged. "Just know that you're special, that's all."

The other brow rose to match the first. "Uh huh." Leaning back, she crossed both arms behind her head. "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

"Eh, we were doing pizza, I thought?" he asked. "Kakuzu's working late again so it'll just be us, though." Though he'd known that when they made the plans, she didn't need to know it.

"Pizza is good." Hinata nodded. "Though, could we get something else other than meat, meat and meat?"

A silvery brow lifted. "Sure? Like what... half tomatoes and mushrooms or something?"

"Mushrooms and maybe green peppers?" Really, any non-meat other than olives and pineapple.

He nodded. "Kay. It's all yours though. I hate mushrooms. Fucking Kakuzu always orders them."

Rolling her eyes, Hinata reached out and poked him lightly in the side. "Then change the mushrooms. I like sharing, but I don't know what you like yet."

As he was not privy to her thoughts, he gave her a grin. "Pineapple?"

Narrowing her eyes, Hinata countered, "Onion? And the third topping can be ground beef."

"Deal," he said promptly.

"Good." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Uhm, when did Neji say that to you? The have sex and leave thing?" The two guys didn't really meet and chat on a regular basis.

He shifted at that. "Eh, after school today..."

Her arms in their light blue sleeves tightened slightly as Hinata sighed and rested her forehead on his spine. "Today? Man... He's still not letting this go?"

The albino was quiet for a moment, eyes drifting down toward her hands. He unlaced them from his waist and interlaced both with his hands. "Don't worry about it, seriously," he told her. "I can handle it. Not like it's anything new..."

xXx

"I could shoot him."

"No."

"Okay. Tie her up in the basement."

"No."

"Hire a hitman?"

" _No_."

"Well! You keep pouting and I'll have to do  _something_!"

Neji turned and glared at the other male, who gave him an innocent look. " ** _No_**."

Suigetsu pouted. "Awww, c'mon, it'll be fun. Like revenge. And stuff—aw, shit. That didn't even make sense in my head."

"You... are an imbecile," the Hyuuga snarled, and stomped out of the room.

Purple eyes blinked after him. "Was it something I said?"

xXx

Twenty minutes later, when lunch was nearly over, the gray-haired boy caught up with the Hyuuga. "What about beating him up slightly? I hate seeing you pout!"

"Why, on Earth, are you so obsessed with harming Jashin?" the pearl-eyed boy demanded shortly, spinning around to pin the other boy with a glare.

"He used me as a piñata. All of them did. I want revenge. You hate him 'cause he beat you up—"

"It was a tied fight," the Hyuuga snapped.

Suigetsu waved a dismissive hand. "What the fuck ever. He broke your arm. He's dating your little sister figure. I figure, the two of us could handle him together—"

Drawing himself up in righteous fury, Neji scowled mightily at the younger boy. "That would be an unfair fight and I will not do it!" he said firmly. "Ever."

Two hands lifted, purple nail-polish glinting. "Alright, alright. That's not what I meant. Let me finish talking." He paused, but when Neji didn't say anything, he lowered his hands and stuffed them into his pockets. "I  _meant_... I'll fight the bastard. You can just stand there to... assist me should things start to look bad."

"That's an unfair fight," Neji deadpanned.

"He's a masochist, what the fuck's the difference?"

Pearl eyes blinked. "He's a  _what_?"

xXx

"Fuuuckkk, it's not fucking natural to have this much goddamn homework!" Hidan complained as he and Hinata walked out of the school. "I fucking swear!"

Smiling at his side, the pale girl rolled her eyes. "It's school, Hidan. And a Friday. And the teachers are sadists."

He moaned. "And not even the good kind!" he complained. "Fuuuuccckkk." Suddenly, he turned and grabbed her shoulders. "Look, Hinata. I want you to know that if I die from over-working myself... you have to make sure that fucker Kakuzu  _cremates me_. If you don't, he'll throw me in a river somewhere rather than waste the money."

"Hmm..." Pearly eyes studied him for a moment. Hinata tilted her head and pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Fifty bucks and I'll consider it. Heck, make it eighty and Kakuzu probably won't even blink." She beamed at him. "Anything else?"

"Uhg, he's rubbing off on you!" Hidan said in mock horror, backing away from her. "Man! That fucker." He grinned back at her. "Deal." And he started toward the bus stop again.

A few steps behind him, his girlfriend quietly followed, tapping her lower lip with a finger. Maybe she should have padded that a little more. Cremation definitely cost more than eighty...

They trailed to a stop finally, amongst the last of the milling crowd waiting for the buses to come, and he turned toward her, mouth open to say something else. Then it snapped closed as a hand landed heavily on Hinata's shoulder, jerking her back from him. And a figure flashed past, pouncing Hidan.

Neji pulled her at least ten feet away before stepping in front of her. "Hello, cousin," he said stiffly, in a manner that said he didn't expect a response.

And ahead of them, a circle already starting to form, Suigetsu had tackled the masochist and was pummeling him.

"Neji?" Hinata's eyes bloomed wide at the heavy sounds of knuckles hitting flesh. Shaking her head, she tried to shove past him. Didn't matter if she couldn't help Hidan directly, but if she could find someone to help... "Stop this!"

Neji pushed her right back. "You're not getting in the way. The only reason I agreed to his stupid plan was because you spend most of your time with that idiot and I don't want you getting hurt." He cast a glower over his shoulder at her.

Hidan managed to get his arms up after a second, and shoved Suigetsu off him, then latching on and rolling them. His fingers automatically wrapped around the idiot's throat, but Suigetsu had expected it and escaped by simply kneeing the zealot's groin.

Groaning, the albino stumbled to his feet at the same time his opponent did, teeth bared and red eyes furious. " _Fucker_! Dirty, cheating, motherfucking—I'll  _fucking kill you,_ _ **bitch**_!"

Suigetsu let out a loud, excited yell. "Fuck you, Jashin!" he crowed. "You said the same fucking shit last time!"

"Hurt?" Hinata hissed, outraged. "He treats me better than you do!" Taking a step to the side she slid past him, but the older boy snapped out a hand yanking back on her backpack.

She stumbled back with a gasp and then her cousin was snarling in her face. "You think he cares? You think it will matter in a month? A week? He'll get you in his bed and then you'll be discarded like any other whore he's been with. Then what? What if you end up pregnant?" He shook her. "You'll be disowned, Hinata. Do you want that?"

Glancing around, Hidan ran his tongue over his teeth. None of them were loose yet; good. He finally caught sight of Hinata, behind her fucking batshit crazy cousin. Still, at least the bastard seemed to be making sure she stayed out of it. That meant Hidan didn't need to worry about accidentally hurting her.

"Kay, bitch, it's fucking  _on_!" the albino yelled, and leapt at the other male.

Twisting, Suigetsu avoided the first strike, lifting one arm to guard his middle while the other drove into Hidan's stomach in a sharp uppercut... that didn't appear to do much at all. Harder hits then. He could do that. Fucker was going  _down_.

Grasping onto his wrists, Hinata gritted her teeth and snapped back. "So my family will leave me because of a mistake? That's supportive! Well, you know what, Neji?" Leaning close, the heiress narrowed her eyes, lip curling, voice a low viscous thrum. "Hidan won't. He won't leave me, cousin. Which makes him better than family, doesn't it? He won't discard me because I'm no longer a virgin. Neither of us are stupid enough to have sex unprotected, as if that's even your concern!"

The longer they traded blows, dodged, ducked, swerved, grabbed, the more information Suigetsu was fed. Hidan rarely ever blocked, but then again, he probably had never needed to. He hit like a battering ram and took hits like a brick wall. Hell, even his stomach tensed up when Suigetsu used it for target practice.

Then the purple-eyed boy landed an actual  _hit_. Something that made a difference. Collarbone, left side. The albino yelped and jumped back, but Suigetsu pressed his advantage and followed, slipping in another hit to the spot with a viciousness born from growing up on the back streets. "Shit," Hidan moaned, twisting away.

He started to reach for his shoe, and Suigetsu realized that the bitch was armed. He jumped in before the albino could get his weapon, landing another glancing blow on the collarbone. His next strike was actually blocked and caught, but the purple-eyed sophomore slipped under Hidan's guard and slammed his hard head down.

The colour began to rise in Neji's cheeks, but Hinata continued on, frustration and helplessness creating a rage deep in her chest. Behind her, Hidan's cry triggered something inside and the rage condensed into a hard knot of fury. "I don't expect him to stay with me forever, but to be tossed aside by my own family for a moment of perceived weakness? Oh that's a pretty laugh. The taint on the Hyuuga pride must be cut away. Yeah, that's loving."

Hidan dropped to his knees, his whole left arm going numb and  _goddamnit_ , the fucker had just rebroken his collarbone. The pain was incredible, enough so that the albino's vision went stark white for a brief moment, long enough that Suigetsu was able to kick him in the jaw, sending him crashing hard against the pavement.

White faded to normality, seeping into red. Suigetsu lifted his foot, and brought it down on that spot again. Red faded to black. Hidan passed out.

Her cousin's arm tensed the moment before and Hinata accepted it. The slap was hard, palm rigid, his full right side behind it. Hinata bit back the gasp, twisting to lessen the blow. Then she saw Hidan.

And Suigetsu hadn't appeared to notice the Jashin's state of unconsciousness. He drove his foot down again, and again, and again, until he was suddenly dragged backwards off the albino, an uncompromising grip on his arm.

"Alright, Hozuki," Kakashi growled, jerking his arms hard behind him as Tsunade shoved through the surrounding crowd of bodies to get to the boy on the ground.

Neji didn't stop her as she pushed through the crowd. Hidan was down. He wasn't moving. "Hidan?" she called out as the last student moved aside and the pale girl stumbled into the clearing of staring teenagers. "Hidan?"

She would not cry. He'd tease her forever if she did. Hidan was bleeding because he wouldn't leave her. Crumpling to her knees, Hinata watched with wide eyes as Tsunade pressed fingers into bruised and bloody skin. He wouldn't leave her. And he was hurt. A pale hand reached out and touched his fingers, just below the split knuckles where his opponent's teeth had cut.  _Because of me_...

Standing at the back of the crowd, Neji stood tall. His palm stung, but it was negligible. Suigetsu was being led back to the school, but that was inevitable. Hinata broken and staring by Jashin's body was unexpected but not surprising. The Hyuuga teen turned and walked to the next bus stop. What he hadn't expected was the bitterness in his cousin's eyes. Her utter contempt for her own blood. Hinata would have to be watched. He knew his cousin though. The separation would come soon. He left the crowd of whispers behind.

The sirens were already approaching, lights flashing within sight. Tsunade was saying something that Hinata didn't hear, fingers pressed to the pulse at Hidan's wrist briefly before moving toward his chest and tugging open his shirt. The skin had split, bone sticking through.

The first thought to surface in Tsunade's mind that wasn't related to what she could do medically, ironically, was,  _he has no emergency contact_. She had often puzzled over it. Even the other handful of orphans in the school had emergency contacts. Guardians. Aunts. Uncles. Someone.  _But not Jashin_. The boy had absolutely  _no one_...

"Hinata," Tsunade said abruptly, voice sharp and loud to cover the sound of the ambulance as it pulled to a stop. She looked up and snapped the fingers of her free hand in Hinata's face. "Hinata, you two are dating, aren't you?"

The girl nodded quickly, eyes never leaving the exposed bone.

"Hinata, look at me," Tsunade ordered, scowling, and when the girl glanced at her finally, she went on. "He has no one, okay? No emergency contacts. Can you go with him? He needs someone who knows him there to answer the questions... I would ask one of his other friends, but no one else is here. And don't worry. Hozuki will be dealt with." Her expression darkened. "You have my word."

"I'll go with him," Hinata whispered. Her pale face, marred by a blooming bruise of its own, smoothed out as all expression melted away. "I'm not worried about Suigetsu, Tsunade-san," she replied. No, there was no worry there. Absolutely none. Her new family took care of its own. Whether she would still be welcome in their company in the future would remain to be seen, but for now, right now... She stood as the paramedics ran forward with the stretcher.

The nurse heaved a sigh and got up, quickly running through an explanation of events as she knew them with one man, while a woman and another man moved Hidan onto the stretcher. The man turned to Hinata as his comrades moved toward the ambulance with the stretcher. "Hyuuga-san? Senju-san informs me that you'll be riding with us. You'll have to be in the front, though. I hope that's okay."

There was a barely perceivable flinch. "Of course." The heiress allowed herself to be guided to the seat. She only had one request: that they call her by her given name.

xXx

Surgery was pretty much a given, what with the bone poking out. But within the next two hours, Hidan was straightened out (more or less), stitched up and moved to the recovery and observation ward. He was still unconscious, though the doctors had assured his girl this was due more to the drugs than anything else.

They eventually let her in to see him, and she was sitting at his bedside when the door was shoved open and a familiar pair stalked inside. Green eyes flickered over her before moving toward the sleeping boy, and Kakuzu's expression bordered on furious black.

"How is he?" the money monger demanded, coming to a stop at the foot of the bed and snatching up the clipboard there.

"The doctor said he'll be fine. It's a bad break though," Hinata watched as the older teen scanned the papers. "Lots of bruising," she added in a half whisper.

By the door, Itachi dragged two chairs towards the bed next to her, where they would not hinder the nurses who needed to get to the machines. Enough visits to the hospital had taught them all certain habits. "Hozuki."

It wasn't a question and Hinata didn't nod, but Kakuzu let out a snarl. "He's dead," the money monger said under his breath, teeth bared with sharp malice. "And his family is going to be bankrupt. For several generations."

She looked straight at him, a flutter of emotion crossing her features. "Put him a coma then. Or make him a paraplegic." Her blank face turned back to regard her unconscious boyfriend. "Put him on life-support." Little sweet Hinata said, "Keep him alive and suffering for  _decades_ , Kakuzu-san."

The green-eyed male finally sat down, gaze trained on his roommate's face. He was very tempted to get right back up and go act on the girl's request right then and there. However, his own rules needed to be followed. The welfare of the injured was to be seen to before revenge was exacted. All of them adhered to that.

Uchiha sat down next to the girl in silence. Her soft even voice turned his head. "Itachi-san. I have a request, if you will hear me out." He nodded. "I want fighting lessons. I want to repay them in kind." Her eyes rose to meet his, pearl to black. "Teach me please?"

A smirk slowly curled Itachi's lips as he lifted fingers to brush lightly against her dark purple cheekbone. She could take the pain. "Better hope Hidan doesn't get jealous," he warned her.

"I doubt it." Hinata lifted a dark brow. "I think he'd be delighted." Knowing that in a few weeks, the girl would be able to hit harder, yes, it was completely possible the masochist would be overjoyed.

The other conscious occupant of the room snorted. "She's got a point, Itachi," he said. "So. We'll leave initial punishment to his girl, shall we?" Initial only, though. Not all of it. Kakuzu still wanted to rip the cowardly bitch's arm off. And beat him with it. Then shove it up his ass.

"No." The pale girl looked up shaking her head. "Give that corpse to Hidan. I want Neji." A small shrug followed. "Kill-stealing," she uttered softly.

Amusement curled through Itachi's gut. "You'll do." He hadn't been sure at first. The girl had been timid, a mouse that only murmured to Hidan and Kakuzu. Kisame hadn't been optimistic. Now though...

There was a soft groan. "... Hinata... you are so hot..."

Kakuzu scoffed. "Fucking retard. How long have you been awake?" he demanded.

"Uh..." Hidan opened his eyes and rolled his head to the side, staring at them dumbly. "Dunno. I'm on drugs. I know, because Itachi looks like a girl."

Beside him, the blue-haired girl smiled fully for the first time since Itachi had walked in through the door. Itachi only shook his head. "Idiot," he muttered in relief.

"Will... will that be okay?" Hinata's voice hovered just this side of uncertainty as she stared down at her lap. "If Itachi-san teaches me how to fight?"

Wine-red eyes flickered back and forth between Itachi and Hinata, his brows pulling down into a frown. "Eh..." He paused, though. "Heh... If he teaches ya that Vulcan death-grip thingy, then yeah, it's okay."

Kakuzu groaned. Hidan was a fucking imbecile.

"I will be teaching her far more than just a choke, Jashin," Itachi rumbled.  _Honestly_. "Maybe you should take lessons as well. Brawling will only get you so far."

"Fuck you, bitch," Hidan retorted, but it was without any real animosity. "Only if Hinata dresses up like Katana from that one movie."

The girl in question blinked. Itachi shook his head again. "Hnn. Maybe I'll start lessons now." He stood up and motioned to Hinata to do the same. "This is how you do a choke hold. Hidan, don't make a sound..."

"Is it best to do that in the hospital?" Kakuzu asked, looking pointedly at the heart monitor. "He's already getting horny."

Pearl and ebony eyes snapped over to the machine and then to the albino's bright eyes.

"Maybe we shouldn't give him masturbation material," Hinata murmured with a dark blush. Itachi grunted and sat back down as the girl leaned forward and kissed the prone male. "You're impossible," she told him with a smile.

His half smile slipped away, though. "Hinata." His voice was flat, eyes focused on her cheek. "Who did that?"

Slim shoulders rose as Hinata took a breath. Then her chin lifted. "Neji. But he's  _mine_ , Hidan." And her tone didn't suggest a single ounce of protective feeling towards her cousin.

Kakuzu exhaled quietly as Hidan's heartbeat slowed to normal, and the albino sighed. "Shit. Alright," he muttered. "But... if you change your mind..."

She let out a strangled laugh. "I'll give you the second round." Sitting down, she shook her head. "This is insane..."

His half-grin was back. "Eh, shoulda seen that one time I fell off a building. Luckily, Kisame cushioned my fall..."

And, as if on cue, the door creaked open, the last two members of their group—well, those still in Konoha—slipping inside. "Holy fuck!" Deidara burst out, and ducked Kisame's swipe. "Sorry, sorry, I'll quiet down, un!"

Black Uchiha eyes swung to the two newcomers. "Hidan's obviously awake. Neji has been claimed by Hinata. Suigetsu is an open case after Hidan and Kakuzu. What are the teachers doing?"

Rolling one shoulder, Kisame pointed at Deidara. "He knows the details. Fucking blond hair gets him places I can't even look at," the big teen muttered in disgust.

Deidara made a face at Kisame, then shook his head at Itachi. "Fucker was escorted out of school and put in a cop car, un," he said, waving a hand. "His 'parent', some Orochimaru guy, picked him up and made bail. The nurse is pressing charges, but that Orochimaru git doesn't seem to care."

"Tch." Hidan shook his head, feeling sleepy again. "Figures."

Twining her fingers with the albinos, the Hyuuga girl and the injured teen shared a look. Itachi took the hint, rising from his seat. He nodded when Hidan glanced up. "Get well," he said.

The albino nodded. "You told Pinky yet?" he asked, eyes drooping a little. "Cuz... y'know. Gotta know about stuff... and all..."

Deidara shifted from one foot to the other, antsy. "I told her, un. Emailed her earlier. Haven't gotten one back yet, er, that I know of. But she'll reply eventually."

"Oh, she'll reply," Kisame snickered. "And if we don't leave her a piece of meat to shred, she'll come after us."

Smirking, Itachi walked around the bed. "Note to self," he said smoothly. "Keep a thigh for the girlfriend."

"Maybe rib cage would be better?" his blue friend suggested as he neared.

But he shook his head. "Kakuzu might want that part." They both looked at the money monger.

"I'll let Pinky have her preference," Kakuzu said wisely. "She knows where to find me."

Hidan choked on a laugh. "Get the fuck out," he chuckled.

"Not me," Kakuzu retorted. "I'm staying."

Shifting again, Deidara shook his head. "I'm gonna go look into a few things... er... Hidan... When all is said and done, can I blow him up?"

"I'll think about it."

"Hnn." Itachi opened the door as Kisame saluted the injured. "We'll need to use the beach for this. The fire pit?" He walked out murmuring to himself. Chuckling, Sharky followed.

Hidan watched the blond follow them out, then sighed and looked at the only two people he'd ever been asleep—willingly; hospitals didn't count—around. "How long're ya sticking around?" he asked Hinata, grinning. "Cause I know I could probably shift over a little..."

Smiling, Hinata shrugged. "It's Friday. I don't have to be anywhere for days." As she carefully moved up onto the bed, her eyes passed from Kakuzu to Hidan again. "And I wouldn't be anywhere else."

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should up the rating for the violence...


	29. Progression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Holy shit, I think there's a body still in the fucker!"

Aah, another typical day in Suna. The crows were circling, the school-kids were not lingering, there appeared to be a dead body outside the school gates...

 _Waitaminute_. Blinking, Temari nudged her older brother over with a foot. "Kankuro, what are you doing?"

" _Dying_ ," he moaned, face buried in the sand.

She blinked at him again. "Uh... Should I call the nurse?"

Instead of answering, Kankuro lifted a hand and pointed through the door. She followed the direction of his finger, and saw her  _other_  little brother hanging out with his favorite person. Pink hair. Tense shoulders. Scowl.

"Oh, Sakura."

And the redhead was smiling. Well, Sakura inspired insanity in him, so that was nothing new. "Get up, Kankuro. It's the last week of school. In fact, we don't even have a week left. We have three days. You're not going to die of a heart attack in that time."

"...  _uhg_."

 _Meanwhile_...

Gaara smiled at Sakura. "Yes."

"If I deck you, I'll get in trouble," the girl responded, "and that's the only reason why I'm not putting you face first into the floor." Her bright green eyes narrowed as his grin widened. Giving a low growl of frustration, Sakura turned and stalked through the doors.  _I don't have time for this_!

"But it won't hurt you," he insisted, following her towards her locker. "Think of it as a vacation. Even if, by some miracle, you do manage to get out of here by the end of summer like you plan... it won't interfere with that."

Swinging the metal cabinet open, Sakura ignored the way Gaara side-stepped to avoid getting her locker door to the face. It banged into Ukon's locker instead. Idly, the young woman noted that the skirt chaser hadn't been using his locker for months...

"Have you noticed that I love air conditioning, Gaara? That I am getting tired of finding sand everywhere? That I happen to enjoy frozen ice cream?" she asked as she shuffled books onto the aluminum shelves.

"Most of it will be at night or in an underground cave," he retorted.

The locker door snapped closed. "How many days are we talking again?"

"Three. Kankuro talked me down from two weeks," he explained.

Sakura was grumbling as she slung her bag over her shoulder. "You Suna people are  _insane_. I'll think about it... Argh! I can't believe I'm actually... You know what? Go away." The pinkette huffed and walked off muttering to herself.

Light green eyes watched her walk away. "I'll see you later!" he called after a pause, and his shoulders slumped at her aggravated, half-hearted wave over her shoulder. She wasn't going to go anywhere, he told himself firmly.

But a tiny voice whispered,  _How can you be so sure?_

xXx

Standing by the school entrance, Hinata was giggling as she read through the various notes that were scrawled across both inside linings, several inner pages, and the fat silver marker that had dominated the back cover. Ino had attacked the glossy outside with gusto, claiming that she was acting in for Sakura not just herself.

Lead scratches, various colours of pen ink, a few other more modest markers, and a surprisingly elegant hand in ink brush.  _HAGS! Hinata! Keep in touch! See you next year! Stay smart, don't do anything stupid. Beat Hidan for me! Tell Aniki he needs to teach you how to skip rocks properly. Ramen's on me next time! SHOPPING IS A MUST! Here's my phone number—make sure you call! Find a BETTER boyfriend! FUCK YOU! (_ Some notes weren't just for her _) Write! Call! Come over!_

A few of the smaller, more hidden notes made her grin widen.  _When you're ready, call us! We'll help! Liquor stores have the best boxes. Ramen makes the best post-move food! I'll bring snacks! Let me know if the building allows dogs! I've got a van! I have a TRUCK! Your MOTHER has the truck! Shut up! YOU shut up! NARUTO, I WILL SIC SAKURA ON YOU! BRING IT! Might I suggest moving insurance? I have a few paintings if you're interested-or Hidan? SAAAAIII!_

Ino's silver marker evidently had a fine point tip as well. It nearly ripped through the thick paper in places.

A pair of hands landed on her shoulders, and tugged her back against a warm chest. "Hello, goddess. It's fucking great to see that smile," Hidan said, voice right in her ear. "Now what the hell're ya giggling about?" He tried to peek into her book, but she closed it. "Awww."

Laughing full-out now, the blue-haired girl turned and grinned up at him. "Kiss me first," she stipulated, leaning up to brush her lips against his. "Then, maybe."

"I suppose I have to obey," he replied, grinning, and slid his arm around her waist. He used that to drag her right up against him, and proceeded to kiss her in the only proper way there was to kiss. That is to say, rather improperly indeed.

Closing her eyes and reveling in the feeling of his body against hers, Hinata ignored the whistles that erupted around them. She was still smiling when he finally let her go and cheerfully whacked him in the shoulder when he gave her an expectant look.

"Okay, so you saw my book when it was about a third full," she cracked open the book a finger's breadth wide and thumbed through the barely visible pages. "Here, look at this one!" She held up the notes between Ino and Naruto. The last two lines were scrawled all over the picture of the basketball team.

There was a brief pause as his eyes flickered over the words, reading them. Then he smirked. "What, she expects Pinky to beat on him for her? She should do it herself. Would be more entertaining." He grinned. It wasn't meant as an insult toward the blonde, though. Just his opinion.

Then his eyes slid down her, and up again. "Then again... maybe we could do something a little different..." His teeth flashed in the grin that followed.

Despite dating the pervert for months, Hinata still found herself blushing uncontrollably sometimes. Leaning forward, she hid her warm cheeks against his collar—the good side. "Do I want to know what you're thinking?"

His laughter was soft, deep and reverberated through his chest. "Mmm... I was thinking about... you, me, ice cream. There's a nice place  _just_  down the road from the café." He paused for effect. "Why, what were  _you_  thinking, seriously?"

"Nothing!" Squeaking was  _mortifying_. Hinata stayed right where she was, pressed up against a hot guy and hidden from view. One hand came up to lightly trail over the new scars; the stitches had come out a few days ago.

"Oh yeah?" he teased, and poked her in the side. "I don't believe it. But don't worry! I'm a nice guy!" He paused. "Well, to you." His head shook. "But I'll keep your secret, if you let me start walking so Kakuzu doesn't leave us fucking behind again." He pointed toward the parking lot, where Kakuzu was headed toward his vehicle.

Nodding quickly, she reluctantly backed away and tugged her bag up from the grass before jogging ahead to the car, all the while keeping her face averted from her amused boyfriend. Last time Kakuzu had left without them, Hidan had pulled her into the back seat of the bus and proceeded to molest her the entire way to his place. She wasn't sure she could survive another trip like that.

Laughing, Hidan followed her to Kakuzu's big black truck, waving as they approached. "Yo, fucker!"

"Shut the fuck up," was the retort, then, "Hello Hinata."

"Hi Kakuzu," she replied with some relief. There! Transportation secured! Her blush had also calmed down and... or, it could not be attributed to her hasty entrance. "Did you get anything good out of the yearbook signing?" Because it was Kakuzu. He would make money out of  _anything_.

Kakuzu gave her a smirk as he buckled in. "Two hundred bucks," he replied.

"Ehhh?" Hidan gave him a disbelieving look. "How the fuck did you—No, know what? Never fucking mind. I don't wanna know. Bastard." He motioned for Hinata to get in before him, making a face.

Grumbling a little herself, Hinata frowned as she scooted in. "And I only procured a van and a truck for moving day." She sighed. Competing for profit with Kakuzu was really pointless. "Though, Naruto says he'll get ramen." Well, he didn't quite... but she could work around that.

"Great. Saves me the trouble of having to get our dinner for that night," Kakuzu said, actually looking pretty happy for once.

The albino got in and gave his best friend a disgusted look. "You're an ass. Drop us off at that ice cream place by the café, would you? I get paid today; I'll give you the gas money later."

"Hmph. You'd better," Kakuzu said, starting the truck. There was a beat of silence as he pulled out of the parking space, before shifting his focus to the next topic. "That idiot Suigetsu's still in town."

Hidan blinked, and sneered. "The fuck? You'd think the asshat would have the brains to fucking  _leave_. Seriously!"

The money monger huffed and shot his best friend an annoyed look. "Apparently, there are plans to move him."

"He doesn't have a choice," Hinata murmured from the back seat. "The principal has banned Suigetsu from Konoha High. His father will probably be transferring him back to his previous school."

"He deserves a whole fucking shit ton worse," Hidan growled, crossing his arms as he sat back in his seat. He glared out the window.

More silence. Then, "I don't know why you're being such a fucking pussy," Kakuzu said. "You've gotten worse."

"Fuck you, bitch," Hidan retorted, but weirdly seemed to have relaxed. He twisted around a bit to grin at Hinata. "Heeyy, Goddess! There was this one time in like sixth grade—"

Kakuzu made an evil sound under his breath. "Shut your fucking mouth, Hidan, or I'm taking your tongue!"

The albino cackled and righted himself in his seat. "Now who's bein' a pussy?"

Watching the two friends interact, Hinata smiled, completely content to have the back seat all to herself, mostly because there really wasn't much room squeezed in behind the two front seats. Leaning forward, she propped an elbow up on the padded upholstery.

"About the move... Do we even need help from my friends?" she asked, looking more at Kakuzu than Hidan. "I mean, you have a truck and so does Kisame. Itachi has his car." She blinked. "I'm the only one without a car..."

"Hidan doesn't have one," Kakuzu offered, shrugging. "But no, we probably don't. I was mostly planning on using this thing," he patted the wheel to indicate the truck they were in, "Kisame's truck and Deidara's truck if we need them. It should be pretty easy."

Fully content with the world, Hinata rested her chin on her interlaced fingers. "Any idea if the place will be clean when we get there?" Naruto had told her a few horror stories earlier at lunch. About tenants who didn't care about the damage deposit.

"Yes," Kakuzu said, looking at her and shrugging. "I checked already. It's decently cared for, new paint job, no lead. I made sure."

Hidan snorted. Of course the money-monger had. "Geez, fuck, a week?"

"Yes. A week."

"Seems like forever," Hidan replied, looking a bit dazed at the thought. "I'm moving in with a girl. And she's my fucking girlfriend."

There was a soft sigh from the back. "I'll one up you. I'm moving out of the family complex." Hinata looked out the window. "And they don't know yet."

The albino made a dismayed sound, even as Kakuzu chuckled, gave his friend a thumbs down, and said, "Owned."

"Fuck you, bitch."

"Suck yourself, cunt."

xXx

"Goodbye, Chichiue."

"Hinata!"

Bowing quickly, the former heiress dismissed herself from her father's presence and walked out of the family dining room.

She was barely down the hall towards her room when quick footsteps sounded in the hall behind her. Gulping, Hinata turned to see Hiashi stalking up to her, hands fists at his sides. "Chichiue?"

Her father was intimidating enough when he was sitting or talking or anything really. But when he was standing, fuming, eyes narrowed and looming, like he was right then, he was downright terrifying.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded harshly. "Announcing that nonsense over dinner?"

"I'm leaving." Hinata bit her lip and forced herself to meet his eyes. "I'm moving out."

She could see the moment observations and minor facts slid into place in her father's mind. It wasn't that he was unobservant, it was that this really was unexpected. No Hyuuga moved out on their own.

"Your job." Hiashi frowned down at her. "The cleaning you've been doing. The extra time spent with Hanabi. Your impromptu cooking lessons with the cook. Your continued avoidance of Neji."

Hinata's quick shake of the head cut him off. "I'm not avoiding him, he's avoiding me," she clarified quietly, but did not deny the rest.

"Your request to formally keep your mother's combs."

Mother of pearl, jade, and small bright sapphires. The two decorative combs that were only part of her departed mother's tiny treasure trove. Hinata nodded. She had been keeping them for years, yet was never sure they were truly hers.

"You are planning on leaving tomorrow morning," her frowning father said, weight shifting to his heels, strong hands rising to clasp at his front.

"Yes."  _And it will not change no matter what—_

Hiashi  _nodded_. "I would have appreciated the grace and respect afforded me, had you given me more notice before hand. However... Hinata?"

Blinking the sudden moisture from her eyes, the heiress took a deep breath and smiled up at him. "Ye-es?"

A fleeting motion at the corners of his mouth almost made the man seem to smile, but it was gone as she blinked once more. "However," he continued, "I will not stop you from leaving us. I wish you good luck and good fortune, as you are my daughter and you are your mother's child. I trust that should any issues arise that you need assistance with, you will contact me?" Hiashi barely acknowledged her stuttering reply. "Good. And musume?"

Reeling from the sudden barrage of emotion, Hinata met his eyes. "Chichiue?"

The older man's eyes bored into hers. "You  _will_ visit."

"Yes, Chichiue."

Because, really, what else could she say to that?

xXx

Afternoon sunlight shone through the tall windows and lit the front foyer. Dust motes hung drifting in the air. Far away in the kitchen, the air conditioner clicked off.

Her bag sat, discarded on the tile floor. She still had her sandals on. Shaking fingers traced over the return address on the plain white envelope. It was so light. A single sheet of paper at most.

Sakura bit her lip, pulled in a deep breath through her nose, and ripped open the seal.

"Haruno Sakura... We are pleased to notify... your application has been accepted..."

Her squeal could be heard throughout the house.

xXx

"... you're shittin' me," Hidan said after Hinata had given them the news later that night. She, Hidan, Kakuzu and Kisame were all hanging out in the Zombie Den, doing a few last-minute packing-related errands. Over pizza. And soda.

Itachi had things that he needed to do, and Deidara was out of town for a few hours—something about some fireworks contact in Kumo—so it was just the four of them. Which was just fine, as most of the packing was  _done_  already.

The sole female present shook her head from her prone position on the floor. The carpet had been vacuumed several times already, so she had no complaints. It was the only place she could collapse on and not feel guilty for taking up space.

"He... he just gave me his blessings in the hall and then," Hinata carded fingers through her loose hair and stared at the ceiling, "and then Dad just walked back to finish his dessert." It was unbelievable. And... incredibly awesome at the same time.

Snorting, Kakuzu pushed the box he'd been going through away from him. He was also seated on the floor, by Hidan, who sat on the couch. "Well, I suppose that eliminates the possible need to sneak your things out in the middle of the night." At her look, he merely blinked calmly at her.

Giggling, Hinata sat up grinning. "Hanabi was all set to help too! She had these ideas where she would start sleep walking or decide to try to cook in the middle of the night. Put sleeping pills in the dinner food. Cause a fire." She shook her head. "It's a good thing my sister doesn't have money or else she'd be buying firecrackers from Deidara."

The resident money monger perked. "Oh?"

"Don't even think about it," Hidan snapped, prodding the back of Kakuzu's head. He turned slightly, angling himself to look over the back of the couch and down the hall. He could just see the half-open door of the bathroom, where the blue guy could be heard clunking around. "Kisame? The fuck are you doing in there?"

There was a rather hefty thud, a few colourful curses, and Sharky poked his head out into the hall. "Is there a reason why there's a small hamster ball jammed under the P-trap? I swear, it's made of fibreglass or some shit."

"Fuck if I know," Hidan said, and climbed over the back of the couch to go look.

Kakuzu scoffed. "I believe that would be Deidara's fault. Make him pay for it." He gave Hinata a grin.

'A hampster?' she mouthed at him, surprised. She tried to imagine a tiny pet furball barrelling down the hallways and getting stuck on the carpets. Hinata started laughing.

The albino paused halfway down the hall and looked back at the siren's call echoing toward him from the living room. "Daaammnn." He smirked, shook his head and looked toward the bathroom again. Kisame was giving him a grin. "What the fuck are you lookin' at me like that for?" he demanded.

The grin grew to show more teeth. Dark eyes darted between Hidan and the girl who was currently giggling into the floor. "Entertainment," Kisame smirked and rolled to his feet. "You take a look. I'm getting more pizza."

Flipping him off, Hidan walked by as Kisame stepped out of the bathroom, and hunkered down to stare under the sink, scowling. "Holy shit, I think there's a body still in the fucker!" he yelped, and cackled.

"Uhg," Kakuzu said. "Get rid of it!"

Choking, Hinata gasped as she got the giggles under control. "That's disgusting!" She turned to look at Hidan's roommate. "How could you not notice something rotting?" Though... neither had she, which meant the corpse has been there long enough to...  _Ewwww_.

As if to confirm her fears, Hidan added, "It's all bone! Kisame, why the fuck didn't you notice?" The silence was answer enough. "Ah, fuck, I just got played."

Thumping down onto the couch beside the other large teenager, Kisame grinned as he reached for the food. "Pet store. Fish tank decorations," he explained. "For some reason skeletons are popular."

"Thank god," Hinata said, then threw a balled up napkin at his head as he laughed.

Hidan came out a beat later and threw the  _hamster ball_  at the blue boy, scowling. "Fucking hell. You're a dick, Kisame. A dick."

There was a scoff as his best friend rose. "Pot and kettle," Kakuzu intoned apathetically. He grabbed a roll of paper towels, a bottle of cleaner and a scrubby. "I'm going to go sanitize the bathroom." That said, he stalked down the hall, shoving the albino over the back of the couch as they crossed paths.

"Fucking—ASS!"

Amused pearly eyes regarded the wine-red ones-upside down and three inches away. "You're cute," Hinata told him. And kissed his nose. Kisame broke out laughing again.

The expression on his face looked like it wasn't sure whether to settle into indignant or puppy love, and seemed to compromise into a smirk. "I have my moments," he retorted, and rolled over to kick Kisame in the head.

Sharky continued to chuckle even as he rubbed his ear. "Ow," he observed cheerfully. "Maybe in a few more months with Itachi, you'll be able to hit as hard as Konan."

There was a full minute of silence, as Hidan took that one in, and then grinned. "Yes please."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! Sakura is COMING HOME!
> 
> Also - yes, Kankuro is the oldest. Not canon, we know. But we have plans for that boy...


	30. Breaking the Trail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Huh, Gaara's going to need more Greyhound tickets._

"I think you are officially capable of surviving in the desert," Temari teased her pink-haired friend.

They had spent the first day of camping exploring the immediate area, and had discovered a bunch of cacti, three oases, another cave besides the one they were using, which actually intersected with theirs, and... some sort of animal corpse that Sakura had run away from but the boys had hauled back and were peering at near the fire.

"Not too cold, I hope?" the blonde added, as the temperature was dropping rapidly.

But the pinkette was shaking her head. "Hmm, I'm fine. It kinda reminds me of fall in Konoha actually." She smiled wistfully. "I like it."

Temari chuckled. "It's a warm night," she admitted, leaning back slightly. She looked over towards her brothers only to realize that Kankuro was alone, prodding the corpse with a stick. "Where'd Gaara go?"

Her brother's wide shoulders lifted in a shrug. "Think he went to check the bags for something. Maybe he brought one of his spiders?" Actually, that wasn't that far of a guess.

Light-colored brows furrowed faintly, and green eyes moved toward the edge of the small oasis where the cave-entrance was. The bags were there, in the cave. She started to get up—to go check on her baby brother—but the redhead reappeared, a box in hand. She relaxed back into her seat as he approached. "Hey! What's that?" she asked, eyes on the lacquered box.

The redhead ignored her question and walked right up to Sakura, all but thrusting the box into her face. "For you," he grunted, watching her expression carefully.

Her hands came up to grab the wooden container before it tumbled to the sand. "What is it?" Sakura asked, even as she turned it around to find the tiny latch on the side. She opened her mouth to say something more as the lid eased open, but no words followed. Instead, the pink-haired girl from another city sat still, staring down at a miniature hour glass cased in a small cylinder of cut steel.

"Because you follow the sand," he explained hurriedly. "So now you can keep the sand. And you don't have to follow it anymore." He ignored his siblings' gaping, eyes on her, waiting for the reaction. Any reaction. Rage would be better than the silence he was getting. "It's... it's a going-away present. People give those, right?"

There was a moment where only the crackle of the fire disturbed the silence, but then Sakura was rising to her feet, one hand still clutching the precious box and its tiny treasure. With two steps the girl had wrapped both arms around her dear friend and was nodding like an idiot.

"Ye-eah," she mumbled out against his shoulder. "People do that. But..." Her arms tightened. "This... this is special. Thank you, Gaara." Sakura closed her eyes and ignored the two drops that slipped free.

His arms slowly circled around her and held on carefully, as if he was afraid to break her. It was a very awkward hug, but it was at least reciprocated.

In the background, Temari was grinning so hard it hurt. And behind her, the other brother sat with his head tilted thinking,  _Huh, Gaara's going to need more Greyhound tickets._

xXx

Drawing in a deep breath, Sakura's gaze flickered over the boxes and bags piled in her room, containing her belongings. Most of what was in this room still would be put in storage, or shipped later if she needed it. The things she was taking with her, when Itachi arrived to pick her up, were all downstairs, stacked neatly by the door.

She was actually just doing one last check to make sure she hadn't left anything, and she was glad she had. She'd almost left behind the box that Gaara had given her. Not the hourglass pendant; the gift had been around her neck since she got it.

Shifting it from one hand to the other, she swept her gaze over the room once more before turning and leaving. The door shut behind her with a surprisingly final  _click_. Down the stairs she went, only to find mom awaiting her in the doorway between the kitchen and the front hall.

"So. This is it, huh?" her mother asked softly, nibbling her top lip like she did when she was nervous. She sighed and stepped over, giving Sakura a hug. "My little girl, all grown up. Look at you." She pulled back, touching Sakura's face briefly. "You're a beautiful woman, Sakura."

Sakura flushed lightly. Somehow, seeing her mother being so... well, it made it all that much more real. "I'm going to miss you, momma," Sakura replied just as softly, and hugged her mother again. "But I'll call, and I'll email, and I'll even visit and send snail mail! So, we can talk every day if you want."

Naiyuri chuckled. "I doubt it," she said, tone lightly chiding. "I remember how college was. Luckily, you already have a boy."

This time, the pink-haired daughter really  _did_  blush. "Yeah," she said somewhat guiltily. "But I'll keep studying hard, and I'll make good grades, and I'll make you proud!"

"You already do," her mother murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

There was a knock on the door then, and Naiyuri drew a breath, shaking off the emotion like water, leaving behind a smile. "Alright, then, that's your boy, I suppose. Or Gaara..." She trailed off thoughtfully.

The younger female couldn't help her giggle. "With any luck, you might have a semi-permanent adopted son stalking your cooking," she said, heading to the door. "But he's mostly harmless!"

Smirking, the Uchiha on the other side only took a brief moment to confirm that it was the younger Haruno who was opening the door before he swept in, grabbing the girl around the waist and hauling her up, grinning at the way she laughed and shrieked. He only let her down again when she accidentally kneed him in the ribs. Even then, he ignored the need to breathe and kissed her right there in the foyer, door wide open. He didn't care. Let the cool air flood out and the dry heat of Suna roll in; he was finally bringing her home.

The elder pink-haired woman shook her head and went to fetch the snacks from the kitchen; teenagers got hungry a lot, she knew.

And Sakura? She didn't even notice, too busy with the celebratory kiss. But she did pull away before it got too indecent. "Hi," she said, stifling the urge to giggle like an idiot. "So. I'm going home."

"I've noticed," he drawled back, albeit a tad breathlessly. "However, you're coming over to  _my_ place first."

She grinned at him. "No argument here... just one question?"

Giving into the urge, Itachi leaned down and nuzzled her throat, murmuring his words into her soft skin that smelled only of Sakura. "And what's that?"

"How long do you think it will take Naruto to find us there?" she said pointedly. "Hell, he and Sasuke are probably already lying in wait."

Itachi chuckled. "Mother," he said smugly and lightly bit down on her shoulder. Letting go after she had uttered out a muted gasp, he continued. "She is giving us two hours and then we will face your friends. Apparently, the threat of several mental images concerning my body-parts were enough to dissuade Sasuke from disturbing us."

"Mm. Two hours," she murmured, arms sliding up his cloth-covered chest. She wrapped them slowly around his shoulders and leaned up on her tiptoes, smirking. "What could I possibly do to you in two hours?" She kissed his mouth briefly. "Maybe something messy?"

"Feel free to improvise," he purred back. "We've got the whole house." He broke off smirking. "And that terrifies my brother more than anything." Smiling at her laughter, Itachi pulled away and glanced around. "I should thank your mother before stealing you away..."

Naiyuri poked her head out of the kitchen, smiling. "Done saying hello?" she asked sweetly.

Her daughter turned bright red, which seemed to amuse the woman. "Mom!"

"Yes?" Naiyuri stepped out of the kitchen, holding a small cooler. "I have snacks here for the road. It's a long drive. And of course I'll help move her things into the vehicle. Sakura, sweety, you really should take more..." She trailed off with a frown, eying the dozen or so bags and boxes, most of them filled with clothing.

"The dorm will be providing furniture, so I don't really need any of mine. But I can bring as many clothes as I want, and other stuff... still, I don't need a lot, mom. Anything I don't have, I can just get in town," Sakura explained, reluctantly pulling away from her man.

"If she does need anything, we can always visit," Itachi added, moving towards the heavier boxes. "Okaa-san was talking about trading recipes?"

The older woman nodded, smiling. "Yes. Mikoto-chan and I were discussing it. I'm making up an organized copy of my book of recipes to give her."

Green eyes blinked hard. Mikoto- _chan_? Oh dear.

The Uchiha heir smirked at his girlfriend's worried expression and trudged out the door.

Naiyuri just beamed and went to pick up a box after handing the cooler to Sakura.

xXx

The couple got  _exactly_  two hours between the time they stepped through the doors of Itachi's house, and the time there was a familiar banging downstairs on the front door.

Sakura, soaking in the tub—and cuddled up to Itachi in post-coital bliss—groaned. "I was just getting comfortable," she complained, scowling at the few bubbles still floating on the water. "Can we just ignore them? Maybe they'll think we left early and just go away," she said hopefully.

"They, we can ignore," her boyfriend replied as he shifted and reluctantly stood, reaching down to help her up, "but Okaa-san, not so much."

"Uhg," was the answer he received. But she let him pull her to her feet, and accepted a towel with an irritated expression on her face. She paused, a thought occurring to her. "Who is coming?" she asked, referring to his group. "You said... Kakuzu was working..."

Closing one eye as he rubbed a towel through his hair, Itachi nodded. "Kakuzu is working, so is Hinata. Hidan will be here and Deidara. Kisame will arrive later in a few hours when his shift is over."

"Oh," she said, and hurried to get dressed. She knew Deidara could be absent minded, and Hidan was a pervert, so it was best to have as much clothing on as possible by the time they got here.

She was running the towel over her hair—messing it up impossibly much—when there was a light knock on the door. "They're waiting downstairs," a familiar soft voice announced. "And talking about surprising you, Sakura-chan. Hurry."

Sakura yelped.

In contrast, Itachi's smirk grew teeth. "Thank you, Okaa-san." Lazily casting about the bathroom floor, he picked up a pair of boxers and a pair of dark jeans.

"Anytime, Itachi-san," Mikoto replied happily, and her soft footsteps receded.

Sakura frowned at the door. "I didn't hear her when she came," she pointed out. "I hope she doesn't teach  _my mom_  to do that."

Tugging his clothing on, the recently graduated teen smiled. "Lock your doors," he advised and then straightened, tossing the towel over his shoulder and grinned. "Ready?"

Pink brows lifted at his lack of upper garments, but she preferred him topless, so she didn't complain. Instead, she smiled back and snagged his hand before stepping out into the hallway.

Down the nearby stairs, they could hear a familiar voice raising in despair. "Whaddya mean we can't surprise her—OW TEMEE!" There was a soft reprimand from the younger Uchiha, and Naruto subsided into grumbling.

"Oh boy," Sakura grumbled, and looked at Itachi. "He means well?"

"Does he?" he asked back, eyebrows up among his damp bangs.

"I think he's just over excited," she replied. "Don't worry, I'll beat him up if he gets to be too much trouble." She gave his hand another squeeze, smiled and released him to head downstairs.

"Hnn." He trailed along after her a few paces behind.

When the couple got downstairs, Naruto was the first to spot them. He jumped up with a happy yell of, "SAKURA-CHAN!" while the others turned to look. Sasuke waved and visibly restrained himself from rolling his eyes. Shikamaru appeared to be asleep in the armchair. Choji was chomping chips but stopped long enough to smile and wave. Sai perked and reached for paper.

And Ino... stared. And turned red. In the face. Quickly.

Immensely amused, Itachi stepped away from Sakura by a few steps to allow the avalanche that was Naruto to slam into his girlfriend. He also noted how a pair of bright blue eyes tracked his movements. Or rather the movements of his nipples.  _Hnn_...

Off to the side, Sasuke made his way over to his brother. Aniki nodded once to which he returned with a grumbled, "Would it kill you to wear a shirt?"

The taller boy shrugged, then let out a low chuckle as he shook his head. "Do you remember way back? You and Sakura were studying..."

Grumpy black eyes met amused. "Again: would it kill you to wear a shirt?" Sasuke repeated.

"Okay, Naruto, if you don't let me breathe, I will knock. You. Out," Sakura growled, though the sound was strained.

Luckily, the blond decided to reluctantly release his friend, and set her on her feet. Then he grinned widely at her. "You're HOME!" he yelped happily. "I brought a bunch of ramen to celebrate!"

Huffing out a laugh, Sakura smirked at him. "Of course you did. Well? Where is it, then? I'm hungry."

"Ehh... Mikoto-san said she'd make it," he said, sheepishly.

Secretly, everyone was relieved. It might actually come out as a decent snack, if that were the case.

Over in the oversized chair, Shika cracked open an eye. He waved once at Sakura, who actually did see it and even returned the gesture. Turning his head to relieve a small muscle strain, he spied Ino who was standing alarmingly still for once. "Ino?" he called out to her softly. "I~no?

As if he'd kick-started her, the blonde startled and turned her head to look at him. She opened her mouth, closed it, turned bright red and... squeaked. Sakura, overhearing the sound, looked at her best friend. Then at her boyfriend. She sighed. "I'll be right back guys. Ino and I need girl talk." She plucked at her hair. "And a brush."

And before she knew it, Ino was being dragged out of the room. She cast one last glance over her shoulder at Itachi's chest, and then the girls were gone.

"Maaaaannn, that's cheating, Uchiha!" Naruto protested, pouting. "You can't have 'em all!"

Sai looked up from his paper, smiling. "But if you do, let me draw it," he inserted happily.

One Uchiha smirked while the other shorter one scowled. "That's it. Aniki." Sasuke put both hands on his brother's—admittedly well-muscled—back and shoved. "We're getting you a shirt."

"Yes, yes," Itachi answered easily. "Are you going to comb my hair too, mother?" He snickered when he received a wordless snarl in response.

Shaking his head, Shikamaru watched as Sasuke bullied his older brother up the stairs. It just wasn't fair.

Meanwhile, by the door...

"Sakura, you are the luckiest person alive. I swear to the gods you are," Ino said softly, awed.

"I know," Sakura replied flippantly, shoving on her shoes. They had left all her stuff in the car, since they weren't bringing anything inside. She would be staying in the college dorms, after all.

"That's it?" Ino yelped incredulously, following her friend out the door.

A shoulder lifted, dropped and Sakura sighed. "Yep. He's hot. And mine. Hell yeah I'm lucky."

The blonde heaved a sigh. "I am so jealous right now."

Sakura just echoed her lover's smirk.

Upstairs, Itachi was watching his younger brother dig through his closet for the geekiest looking sweater that Sasuke could find. All the while Not Looking At The Bed.

"You kept a shirt on in Suna," his ototo was growling. "Why not here?"

Rolling his eyes, Itachi leaned against the bedpost. "One, the Suna sun would have turned me into a boiled lobster." He paused. Yes, Sasuke had winced in grudging agreement. The younger Uchiha had been burnt his shoulders near instantly before Okaa-san had gotten to him. "Two, this is my home."

A comfortable dark green sweater was thrown to him as Sasuke huffed. "Fine. Just..." The younger teen shook his head trailing off to silence.

Itachi smirked. "Ino's face?"

His brother snickered. "Yeah." They shared a grin.

xXx


	31. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are not the only one who will be ensuring a happy outcome."

The younger kids eventually made it out the door, having stayed an hour longer than foretold. The last out the door, Ino paused to whisper something in Sakura's ear, getting a grin and an excited nod in response before the blonde left with Sai. And finally the younger crowd was gone.

Well, except Sasuke. It was his house too, dammit. And, ten minutes after they were left alone, relaxing in the living room, there was a loud knock on the door. Then a meaty thunk, and more polite knocking.

Mikoto shortly lead Deidara and Hidan—whom was sporting a developing black eye—into the room. The blond immediately perked. "Pinky!" he greeted enthusiastically, walking over and holding his arms out for a hug.

She grinned and all but tackled him. "Dei! Missed you!"

"You got my email?"

"Yes! Oh god, that was so funny!"

The blond grinned and nudged her away. "Thought you'd like it. I'm glad you're back! Now I can show you the improvements I've made on that cannon."

Her own grin widened excitedly. "Oh! Yes, I'd love to see it!"

"Oyyyy, fuckers!" Hidan snapped, then jumped away when both Uchiha brothers moved to stand. "Eh, I mean—guys. Yeah..."

The younger brother grudgingly relaxed back onto the couch, but Itachi picked up a wooden coaster and pointedly rotated it in one hand. Which was unnerving enough on its own without Mikoto oh-so-calmly  _walking past him_  to sit between her boys. Fucking Uchihas...

"Eh, sorry..." Hidan offered them a sheepish smile, then coughed and redirected his attention to Sakura. "So? What about me?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I am not giving you a hug, Hidan."

"Nah, but a 'hi' would be nice!" he insisted.

She grinned. "Hi, Hidan."

"Hi, Pinky," he retorted, grinning back.

Mikoto beamed. "You are all such good friends! It's nice to have so many lively people in the house for a change!" she said sweetly. "And talented ones." She turned to Itachi, eyes dancing. "That boy, Sai, gave me a lovely picture as a gift. He's really quite an artist!"

On her other side, Sasuke choked remembering a certain sketch Sai had done on his anatomy and when Okaa-san turned to check on him, Itachi quickly put the coaster down.

Beating down the blush that was threatening his dignity, Sasuke waved away his mother with a strangled, "I'm fine!"

"Er... What  _kind_  of picture?" Sakura asked nervously. If Sai was being perverted again, she would save Ino the trouble and kill him herself.

Rather than answer directly, Mikoto simply rose, handed Sasuke the glass of water she'd been sipping and left the room. She returned with a sheet of paper and handed it over to Sakura. "Isn't it lovely?"

"Ohhh." Sakura was relieved. It was a koi pond, with a fish poking its head above the water. The pond was surrounded by greenery, and in the bottom corner was Sai's signature. Nothing perverted. Sai could live for another day.

It  _looked_ innocent... Sasuke peered at the shadows covering the back half of the fish as Itachi subtly searched the bushes. It would pass for now.

"Eh? What's that, un?"

Sakura looked over at the blond, expecting him to be staring at the picture. But instead, he was looking at the necklace she wore. She blinked. "Oh. Uh, this is an hourglass, Deidara."

The blond stared at her like she was stupid. "I  _know_  that! Where'd ya get it?"

She shifted from one foot to the other, half wondering if bringing up her best friend from Suna would make him materialize. It happened often enough when he was in the same town as her, after all. "Oh, from a friend. It was a going away present," she said, smiling. She lifted the hourglass and held it up for him to see better. "The sand is from that prank Naruto pulled on Itachi, remember?"

It was a nice modest gift, one that Itachi approved of and had told her earlier (getting quite the response for his compliment). There seemed to be a story behind the bit of jewelry, but Sakura hadn't told him it yet. Granted, they'd been rather busy in the past three hours or so.

Beside him, Sasuke frowned slightly. "How did you end up with that stuff?" Last he heard of it was when the group of them had left it in Itachi's locker. "How did your friend get it?"

The group of older boys and Sakura exchanged amused looks, before Deidara waved a hand. "Kisame carted the stuff off, un. Had a customer that kept fish or something. Gave it to him."

"You met him at the picnic," Sakura inserted. "Gaara, the redhead, really quiet?"

"Oh." Sasuke blinked. Wow. That was... coincidental. "Naruto was talking to him too."

The pink-haired girl nodded as she wandered over to sit down in the armchair. The couch was full of Uchiha. "Yep. I think Gaara was gonna try to thank him, but Naruto was talking too much and he didn't get a chance." She rolled her eyes.

Deidara plopped down on the floor by the coffee table. "Huh. That's really weird, Pinky."

She just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hnn, that's not all that's weird," Itachi murmured, catching the similar black eyes of his family.

Sakura blinked, brows lifting at the change of subject, and looked between the Uchihas.

Sasuke grimaced. "Eh... Brace yourself, Sakura. We think..." He hesitated, glancing toward his sibling and mother, then forged onward, "We think your mother may have been fired on purpose and moved to Suna."

Green eyes widened slightly, then narrowed. "What."

Deidara shifted a little  _away_  from the angry pink woman.

"I, Sasuke, Okaa-san, Otou-san, and Shikamaru have been doing some... digging," Itachi elaborated. "You remember that it was very coincidental that your mother had the invite to Suna, correct? We looked into that. Your mother should not have been fired at all. There were others who were far more expendable."

Leaning forward, Sasuke picked up from where his brother had stopped. "The job your mom has now, used to belong to someone who was just as good too. And also fired the same day. Shikamaru was telling us that part when you were with Ino."

Sakura's face was pale, but it wasn't out of shock or fear. Her eyes glittered, and her jaw was set in a way that suggested she had gritted her teeth. And while the brothers spoke, she had pulled back into the chair, arms crossing. "Is that so," she said after a beat. "And? What else?"

It was the Uchiha Matriarch that spoke next, voice soft in comparison to her sons', but no less steely. "Unfortunately, we have not been able to pinpoint the culprit yet, Sakura-chan. We have our theories, of course, but that amounts to very little in the long run. All we know is that it is someone who knows us personally, and would benefit from isolating you away from us. But do not worry, Sakura-chan." She smiled. "We'll find them out soon."

The unspoken 'our boys are on it' was heard loud and clear by the other woman, and Sakura relaxed with a slow sigh. "I haven't had enough sleep to deal with this bull," she muttered.

Matching frowns drifted across all three Uchihas' features. "Are you sleeping here?" Sasuke asked as his mother and brother exchanged glances.

The pink haired girl got up, rolling her shoulders and giving her friend a smile. "I should probably just get on to the dorm soon, really. I'll wait until after Kisame comes and see him, but I wanted to get my stuff inside my room and put away."

Mikoto pouted faintly. "Are you sure, Sakura-chan? We'd love to have you over," she said, worriedly.

"I'm sure!" Sakura said cheerfully.

Her friend shifted and looked down at the floor. "I'll even let Aniki walk around shirtless for the rest of the night."

There was a soft huff from Itachi, but he was pouting and giving her deep dark—how the hell is he able to do that?—puppy eyes when Sakura looked over. "Please?" her boyfriend coaxed.

The girl heaved a sigh, reaching up to rub her temple in a manner she normally only adopted when dealing with Naruto. "Fine, but on one condition," Sakura said softly.

"Name it," Mikoto said firmly.

Green eyes lifted to meet the Uchiha matriarch's. "I need an hour alone. Just me. I have to think. You know, process..."

The older woman's gaze softened. "You're welcome to go upstairs? The boys and I could watch a movie. Then we'll come get you when it's over?"

"Or when Kisame arrives," Itachi offered looking guilty.

The pinkette nodded. "Whichever." She walked over to her boyfriend and smiled at him. "Stop looking like you murdered my puppy. I just gotta think. This is my momma." She reached out for his hand.

Offering her an understanding smile, Itachi rose from the couch and took her hand.

She tugged him off to the side and gave him a quick kiss before stepping back. "I'll be back down shortly, kay? Don't beat on anyone too much. Don't need another person in the hospital." She grinned.

"I promise," Itachi vowed solemnly and tugged her into a warm hug. He kissed the top of her head. "Take your time."

Squeezing his hand one last time, she gave him a peck on the cheek and then went upstairs.

Turning back to the couch, Itachi was met with the gazes of the others. He sighed. "Perhaps, tonight was not the best time to tell her," he admitted. He had not factored in how tired Sakura would be after the move and all the interaction.

Sitting next to Okaa-san, Sasuke brought his worried gaze down to Itachi, but offered nothing more than a slight shrug.

"She would have wanted to know," Mikoto replied firmly. She offered her eldest a slight, reassuring smile. "The longer you kept it, the more angry she would have been that you had."

She knew that it was likely a combination between Sakura's fatigue and the fact that they had still been gathering information that kept the pink-haired girl from being angry with  _them_. Still, it was best Sakura know now, and prepare herself mentally for it, rather than later and be more surprised.

Deidara was looking back and forth between the three Uchiha, before his gaze settled on Itachi almost accusingly. Technically, it wasn't his fight, even if he did care about Sakura a great deal. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't slightly hurt that Itachi hadn't thought to include him, or Hidan by the looks of it. Had it just been them, then? Or did Kisame know?

Sighing, the blond leaned back, propping his arms out behind him to hold his weight. Then he fixed Itachi with a piercing stare. "There anything you  _want_  me to do, un? Or should I leave it be for now?" the explosives expert queried softly.

Good question. Itachi leaned against the wall and considered his friend. "Honestly, I don't know if there is anything you can do for now, Deidara. I wish there was, because that would mean we had a confirmed identity to confront." The Uchiha heir rubbed a hand across his brow, studying the expressions that flowed across his friends' features. There was anger, confusion, and while Hidan played it off as irritation, both of them were bound to be insulted at being excluded.

He shrugged. "It started as a family-business matter, so we kept it so during our so-called investigation." There was a snort from his brother. "Shikamaru involved himself months ago," Itachi added smoothly.

Hidan snorted, opened his mouth and then paused. He shook his head, scowling. "Right, sure," he said, making a face. "Man, whatever. You don't gotta use us or whatever, just don't forget we're here. Seriously."

"Hey, that made sense, un," Deidara inserted, smirking. "I'm shocked."

The albino glared.

This time the derisive snort came from the older brother who was pushing himself off the wall. "Of course it makes sense," he muttered. "I don't surround myself with idiots."

On the couch, Sasuke lifted a brow intrigued. Tonight was a rare occasion to see his brother interact with his friends, but even he could tell that the comment hadn't been a common one. Aniki was making his way to the shelved movie selection, leaving his back to his friends so he missed their reactions. The younger Uchiha didn't though.

The blond was smirking smugly, even as Hidan stared at Itachi like he was nuts. "Fu—" Stop. Wince. "—dge. Man, I can't take this! You're being creepy weird again!"

Deidara cackled. "He's blushing!"

"SHUDDUP!" Hidan yelled, baring his teeth. "AM NOT!"

That was when Mikoto—whom had ninja'd out while the boys were arguing—returned with a smirking Kisame. "I'll go get snacks!" the woman proclaimed, and left them to their self-created chaos.

The new arrival waved at the various faces in the room before peering at Hidan with a slit-eyed look of concentration.

Across the room, Sasuke blinked at the sheer uncanny similarity the pose was to Naruto studying the differences between two bowls of ramen.

Hidan leaned away, eyes narrowing. "The  _fuck_  are you doing?" he demanded. "Get the heck away from me!"

Apparently satisfied, Sharky straightened with a grin. "You're looking a little pink around the edges, that's all." That said, the tall boy promptly side-stepped and jauntily made his way over to the couch, dropping down into the seat next to Sasuke. "Yo."

There was something about a big blue sharkman getting into your space that made you want to run. Sasuke was beginning to sympathize with the albino, because he too was leaning away. "Hi."

The albino glared at the blue boy, and opened his mouth to curse a blue- _streak_ , but Mikoto appeared in the doorway by the stairs. She smiled regretfully the shark-boy's way. "I'm sorry, Kisame-kun. Sakura-chan won't be seeing you today. She's asleep," she said, giving her eldest an amused smile.

"Huh," Kisame said and shrugged. "So... Now what?"

A few feet away, Itachi tapped his fingers against the spines of various DVD covers. "The offer for a movie still stands. Alternatively, we can go and visit Hinata, thus ensuring Sakura is not disturbed." The Hyuuga girl was on shift for a few more hours yet, and they all knew she appreciated familiar faces, even if they were louder than the typical café goer.

"I approve of that!" Hidan said, straightening from his slouch against the arm of the chair. He grinned widely.

"Eh... what about those snacks though, un?" Deidara asked, looking toward the elder Uchiha.

She beamed and waved a hand. "Hadn't gotten to it yet," she assured him. "If you boys would rather go out, go ahead!"

Around him, the older teenagers were standing and saying goodbye to Kaasan. Sasuke leaned back and looked over his shoulder, to see his brother had paused at the stairs and was gazing up them with a wry smile. "Aniki?"

"Hnn, maybe I should have been clearer," Itachi said, turning around. "I meant to say, you guys will visit Hinata, I will stay." He smirked. "Girlfriend asleep in my bed and all."

"Geehhh..." Sasuke shut his eyes and tried to will away mental images.

Deidara jumped on the wording, and snatched Sasuke off the couch before he realized what was going on. He put the kid in a headlock, promptly giving him a noogie. "Fresh meat, un! Don't worry, Itachi! We'll take  _real_  good care of 'im!"

"What? No!"

Sighing, Kisame reached over and smacked what he could of the duck-butt hair. "Quiet!" he hissed. "You'll wake up Pinky!"

Snickering softly, Itachi shared a look with his mother. He lifted a brow. 'Camera?' he mouthed.

She grinned and handed over her cell phone.

His kissed her on the cheek before taking a picture with the small device. And emailed it to his group as well.

The blond finally carted Sasuke along out the door, calling a salutation over his shoulder softly, and the house fell into peaceful quiet.

xXx

When Hinata had been told to tend a table upstairs, she had completely not expected to find her boyfriend, his gang leader's little brother, and two of his fellow gang members up there. Mostly, they appeared to be bullying Sasuke.

Though, to his credit, he gave as good as he got. When Deidara pulled his ears, he grabbed the other boy's cheek and yanked. When Kisame cackled about his duck-butt hair style, he retorted that the blue thing was out.

Of course, Hidan was the first to notice their exasperated observer. "Hinata!" He jumped to his feet and was to her in half a tick, stopping only because she'd threatened last week never to touch him again if he molested her during work hours. "Yo, sexy!"

Deidara perked up and waved. "Hey, Hinata-chan."

Holding up one finger at the blond, Hinata reached out to pull her albino down for a quick kiss. "Hi, hot stuff," she murmured against his lips, blushing.

He smirked and dragged her in for a second kiss before reluctantly releasing her. "Itachi kicked us all out to moon over Sakura," he explained, smirking widely. "How's the cafe life?"

" _Was_  quiet," she replied with a grin of her own. Her cheeks felt hot. You'd think that after several weeks of PDAs she'd stop blushing! "Dei, Kisame, and Sasuke-kun?" Her eyebrows lifted at the last name as she looked around her boyfriend's shoulder. Blinking, she finally returned the blond's wave.

Deidara grinned evilly and wrapped a comradely arm around Sasuke's shoulders, dragging him into something that resembled a hug but was more similar to insurance against escape. "We're babysitting, un," he explained, as if that made all the sense in the world.

The Uchiha in question sneered. "Try the other way around," he retorted. "Itachi sent  _me_  so you wouldn't get overly violent and trash the place."

The sad thing? He was probably right.

The incident last week, that included her ultimatum about molesting, had unfortunately started with a chair breaking. It ended with a small fire. Small in comparison to what Dei was capable of anyway. Kisame made a point of sitting in booth seats now and had promised not to throw any more hard objects at other customers.

Ah well. They had behaved for a week. It probably was a record of some sort.

"How is Sakura-chan?" she asked as she pulled out a paper pad. May as well act like she was diligently working.

Leaning back in the padded seat, Sharky shrugged. "Sleeping apparently. I didn't even see her." He quirked a brow as she doodled on the paper and grinned. "Am I allowed to order?"

The girl snorted. "I'll get you a water."

"Aww!"

All the sharkish-puppy eyes couldn't move her though. Kisame on caffeine was unnerving. And he was the  _least_ scary of the group on stimulants.

"A muffin for me," Hidan added, knowing better than to ask for anything else. "Sasuke's paying, right?"

The Uchiha glowered at him, but under the combined grins from the others, gave in. It was easier than denying them, anyway. "Fine, but if anyone gets anything over five bucks, you're buying it yourself." He scowled pointedly at the blond beside him, then inserted, "Regular coffee." He reached for his wallet.

Deidara snickered. "Tea, please!"

"Mmhmm. What blend?"

The blond thought it over, then shrugged. "You got that mountain blend still?"

Choking back a laugh, she nodded. "Yep." Something that did not need to be spoken out loud was that Dei thought it had smelled like C4. Not something anyone needed to hear. "Okay, I'll be right back." Hinata paused, giving Kisame a flat look. "Don't bleed anyone."

Wide silver eyes blinked up at her. "I'm not the sadist here," he protested.

"Which is why you should be able to control yourself," she replied. "I'm not going to bother asking the other two."

Sasuke smirked as Dei sat up straight in offense. "Oy! What's that mean, un!?"

"That you're a sadist," Hidan retorted. "Seriously, that was obvious. Idiot."

"Oy!"

Snickering, blue boy pointed at the blond. "Pizza place. First time meeting Sakura. Toothpick." He turned to look up Hinata. "And you're warning me of all people?"

She opened her mouth, the words 'Bite me' on the tip of her tongue, but switched tactics before she got herself in trouble. "Last week. Tea cup. Manager."

"Owned," Hidan said, turning his thumb upside down as he flopped back down in the booth.

"Tch." The big teen grimaced. "It wasn't that hot."

"Manager." Hinata repeated as she rolled her eyes. "Anyway. Tell me more about Sakura-chan when I get back!" Flashing a bright smile at her boyfriend, she left.

xXx

The first sensation Sakura had upon waking was warmth. The feeling of strong, familiar arms curled loosely around her, half-heartedly trapping her against a bare chest. Somewhere, she could hear the faint, rhythmic  _tick tick_  of the Uchiha Grandfather clock.

The soft brush of steady breath against the nape of her neck, though, was what finally clued her in. Her eyes drifted open, and she realized that she must have passed out on Itachi's bed. And of course, then they'd just let her continue sleeping.

It didn't really bother her, though, and she smiled faintly.  _Sneaky_. She pulled out of his arms, pausing only briefly to make sure he didn't wake—and he didn't—before she departed for the bathroom down the hall.

When she returned, Itachi had rolled onto his back, his eyes blinking open as she clicked the door shut. "Hey," she whispered, climbing back into bed with him.

Those dark eyes blinked again. "Hnn, mo—" he broke off with jaw-cracking yawn, one hand covering his mouth. "Urgh. Lemme try that again," he muttered, wiping that same hand over his face. "Good morning, Sakura."

She poked him in the ribs, smiling. "Bah, you have bed-head. That's friggin' adorable," she teased, stretching out beside him.

Huffing in mock offense, Itachi rolled over to face her, dragging her slightly chilly body to him. "And you smell good," he murmured into her ear before burying his face in her hair. "Half past four in the morning?"

Apparently he had seen the clock.

"To be fair, I passed out around... like, six," she replied blandly. "Did you at least tell Kisame and Kakuzu I said hi?"

There was a low hum from him, but that was all. It took another prod from her to get an actual answer: "Texted. Yes."

"Good," she replied, subsiding. "Itachi?"

"Mm?"

"Please tell me... I mean, explain it all... What have you guys been doing? What do you plan to do?" she asked, a note of worry to her voice. "I mean about the whole 'move to Suna' thing."

For a moment, Itachi didn't respond. Then his embrace tightened briefly. "Let me wake up first," he implored, unwrapping one arm from her waist to stretch out. "Coherency is required for this."

And she had him at a disadvantage. A full night's sleep and several minutes of consciousness was more than what he had. Though, it was his own fault for staying up so long thinking about this very conversation.

"I'll be right back." He kissed her neck, and then slid his arm out from under her. The bed shifted as Itachi moved off the bed before padding quietly out into the hall.

Sakura sighed and got up herself, going to the bag set down on the floor by the door—Itachi must have brought it up earlier—before going through it and withdrawing the spare set of clothes. She didn't even bother with the brush, just changed into the new outfit before finger-combing her hair. Then she stuffed the old clothes in the backpack and flicked on the light before returning to the bed to wait.

It wasn't a long wait; Itachi slipped in just a few seconds later, closing the door softly. With a muted sigh, he sat down on the floor facing her, and reached out to take one of her hands. The frown on him matched hers.

"Where to begin," he muttered, thumb rubbing over her knuckles. From the start of course. "When your mother mentioned the loss and gain of her employment, I thought it strange. My priorities at that time were not on her though, and not a little selfish." A faint smile replaced his frown. "Not having you here, in town, in my life... is distracting.

"While I was more concerned about bringing you back to Konoha, Shikamaru was acting on his own." Itachi continued, the frown re-emerging. "He didn't approach me, nor Sasuke. He had... doubts. Your mother worked for a company owned by my family; the situation was too coincidental. I cannot fault him for having suspicions, though my continued interaction with you after your move allayed them.

"Once there was a plan to bring you back," he leaned forward and kissed her knee, "Sasuke and I looked into the company files. If there is one thing ototo and I agree on, is that you return and you stay for as long as you are happy. We were afraid that what caused your mother to leave, and take you with her, could possibly happen again to you directly.

"A breach of privacy yes, but we looked only at what was the reason for Naiyuri's dismissal. If it was reasonable, we would look no further. As it was, it did not make sense." One of Itachi's eyebrows rose. "Sasuke, respecting Nara's mind and loyalty, suggested that we 'recruit' him. Thus we contacted him. You can imagine our surprise to discover that he had already been investigating."

Realizing that he wasn't actually answering her question, he rubbed a tired hand over his eyes. "My parents have contacted a family member, Shisui, who actually investigates corporate intrigues as a profession. If all goes well, he will be able to uncover who manipulated your mother to be transferred. Because it was a transfer; she may have been fired, but her new job was too smoothly given to her. Whoever wanted her, and you, gone, wanted you out of town. And as of yet, we don't know why."

Sakura waited patiently as he spoke before she even tried to take it all in. She thought back over all that he'd said, brows furrowing faintly. "So... basically, someone doesn't like me? Why? Because of you?" she asked.

Itachi shook his head. "We don't know if it's personal or if your mother was just in the way of someone else's ambition. If she had stayed in town without employment, she may have been able to question the method of her discharge. Removing her from the position, location, and giving her a better job..." He grimaced. "Well, she hasn't complained, has she?"

The pink-haired girl sighed and shook her head. "Nope. Not at all," she admitted. "I think she actually kind of likes it in Suna."

"Would she wish to move back here?" If there was someone behind the scenes, manipulating with malicious intent, once revealed and proven, they could reinstate Haruno-san in her former position. Okaa-san had agreed to do it personally. But only if Sakura's mother wanted to return.

A helpless shrug. "I don't know. You'd have to ask her," Sakura replied, looking just this side of dismayed. "I mean, kaa-chan's not exactly the... 'complain about her lot in life' type. She's always so... bubbly and optimistic..."

"Hnn. I believe Okaa-san will be asking her when the investigation is explained to her." Bringing up his free hand, Itachi cupped the side of her face, thumb brushing over her cheek. He smiled softly. "Our mothers are turning out to be rather friendly."

Her mouth pulled downward at the corners in a sort of half-grimace. "Uhg, stop, I keep trying to forget that," she complained in faux dismay, prompting a smirk from him.

Rising up, Itachi moved in between her knees, arms circling around her waist. "For now, we are to concentrate on our studies." He hugged her before drawing back to look into her eyes. "I need to prove that I can focus with you in the same building again, and you need to prove to the college they were right in accepting you."

And if he wanted to be a good provider, he would need a good job. Itachi threaded long fingers into pink hair and for a moment considered the future.  _A life with Sakura would be... incredible_. Blinking, he dismissed his wayward thoughts.  _Focus, Uchiha_.

So he focused on the girl in front of him. On his bed. In the faint light of the early morning.

She met his gaze, and smiled. "Itachi," she whispered, pressing her forehead to his. "College is going to be fine. And this mess... this... whatever this is..." She gestured vaguely to indicate what they'd been discussing, "It'll all work out, because I'm not going to let it go any other way."

Letting out a soft chuckle, he tilted his face up to kiss the tip of her nose. "You are not the only one who will be ensuring a happy outcome." Far from it. If not only Okaa-san and Sasuke, and Otousan by extension, but there was also Nara and her other friends. Even his own were up in arms to defend their happiness; something he had hoped for, but not demanded.

"Damn straight!" she said, and abruptly grinned. "Now that that's settled... Itachi, I don't hate to break it to you... you're wearing far too much clothing."

The man on his knees blinked. Smirked. And fixed that.

-xXx-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sequel! It's called Upgrading and I'll be posting that very soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Naruto's characters and their original universe belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not us. However, this particular story of what we put these kids (and adults!) through is all our fault. Don't go about copying it, please. Unless you want to add to it--then get your people to talk to our people. XD


End file.
